Hi I'm Ali Mills and I am a meditation teacher and I'm also a full-time carer for my mum with dementia.
I absolutely identify with this journey and it has been tough.
So this meditation is here to acknowledge the silent heartbreak that can be experienced when we're caring for someone who's slowly drifting away day by day.
This pocket of space you are carving out for yourself is here to.
.
.
What's it here to do?
It's here to be with softly what is so hard to name the grief,
The grief of losing someone even though they're still here.
It's a meditation to acknowledge what an incredible job you're doing and give you space to be with what is with a gentle dose of self-compassion.
So really well done to making it here and know wherever you are,
Whoever you are,
You are not on this journey alone.
So if you can and it's safe to do so,
Find yourself a small pocket of space.
Maybe use some headphones but this is a little bit of you time and get yourself super comfortable.
Maybe soften your gaze and turn your attention inwards or maybe if it feels okay and safe to do so you could close your eyes.
And as an act of self-compassion you may want to take one hand across your heart and one hand across your belly.
By doing this you're sending a signal to your mind and body that you are safe and you're held and when you're ready begin to notice your breath.
Gentle noticing with no force or control so you're soft and easy.
As you breathe in you notice your inhale and as you breathe out you're noticing your exhale and with every exhale you're letting your body settle down into the support beneath you.
Grounding down noticing all of those points of contact where your body meets the support beneath you.
Allowing yourself to arrive exactly as you are and breathing soft and gentle.
And this grief can be so difficult to explain.
You may miss the version of the one you loved and the one who remembered you.
The one who made sense.
The one you knew and you may still see their face yet in a way you feel you're saying goodbye every day.
If that's true for you allow that to be there.
And this isn't to dwell,
It's to acknowledge.
This is real,
This is hard.
You're carrying so much love and with the love and care and compassion is so much sorrow,
Possibly frustration.
So many emotions mixed up at the same time.
This is not weakness,
It's devotion.
As you take another breath feeling your hands on your heart and your hands on your belly.
Breathing with what is.
And see if you can soften a little more with every exhale.
Releasing around the shoulders,
The jaw.
Breathing self compassion into every bone and every muscle and every cell.
This moment is for you now.
Time to breathe.
Time to rest.
And time to remember you are human.
Letting the breath stay steady.
Acknowledging what you're doing and how tough it is.
Yet no matter what you held today or no matter what tomorrow brings,
You know that you can always come back to the breath and take some time for you.
And when you're ready bring your awareness back to your body.
Back to where you are,
Back to the present.
And see if you can carry with you today your breath when times get tough,
If you're feeling the frustration.
Coming back to the softness of the breath and the acknowledgement that you are doing really well.
Thank you for making space for yourself today.
Namaste.
Have a good day.
Bye for now.
