Live Recorded Emotional Regulation Practice July 2024

Hi unique learners,

This is the recorded event of the live "Emotional regulation"

The first part consists of a talk, where I give you practical tips to regulate your emotions. These tips are evidence-based and are later implemented in the mini meditation.

The track has been edited, however, might contain some background noise as it is live recorded.

Transcript

And welcome,

Everyone,

To this talk and meditation about emotional regulation.

I'm going to discuss a couple of emotional strategies,

I call them emotional strategies.

According to research,

They help with emotional regulation.

But before we dive into what we can do,

I want to make something clear.

And that,

What is emotional regulation?

Is it that you should feel happy all the time,

Or you should feel a certain way?

No.

Emotional regulation,

Or emotional control,

Is where you alter,

Or you take an action,

Where you alter the intensity of an emotional experience.

So this doesn't mean suppressing or running away from your feelings.

With emotional regulation skills,

You can influence which emotions you have as well as how you express them.

So I just wanted to start out with that.

And I was watching a certain Miss R on YouTube with my one-year-old.

And you have all these videos for little children,

How you can feel your emotions and how you should act.

And I thought,

This is brilliant,

Because I have never been taught how to regulate my emotions.

Have you?

And we were watching this,

And the person in the video was really mad.

So the other person said,

You should stop,

Breathe,

And make a smart choice.

And I thought that was brilliant.

So the choices were,

Let me see,

Say that you're feeling mad,

Take a deep breath,

Drink water,

Count to 10,

Go to a sensory corner,

Use Play-Doh,

Go for a walk or color.

Now,

We're not going to play with Play-Doh,

Unfortunately,

Today.

But I thought these were brilliant strategies.

However,

There's so much more we can do.

And before we get started with the actual tips,

I already gave a couple of them,

But when we dive into it,

This takes time.

So a study from Southam and Garau in 2014,

They had an intervention for little children with their parents to learn how to regulate emotions.

And they had 12 meetings of two hours.

So don't feel bad if you're listening to this,

If you are here,

You're like,

I'm struggling with emotional regulation.

First of all,

I am too.

Second of all,

They had a research study taking on 12 meetings of two hours.

So that's quite a lot.

But what research articles,

Especially in psychology,

Keep framing is that it's important to create space for your emotions.

So instead of thinking,

Oh,

I'm angry,

I should do something,

No,

Create space.

And we're doing that right now,

By being here already.

And deep breathing exercise.

There are multiple deep breathing exercises you can use.

Today,

We're going to do deep breaths,

But only through the mouth and out through the mouth,

Because I really want you to dive into your body.

And then notice what you feel.

And work on emotional awareness,

Where you identify and label emotions.

So name what you feel.

Say out loud,

I feel angry.

And then accept the emotion.

And that was something I didn't hear Miss R say.

Accept the emotion.

And I have a couple of tricks which you can do to work on accepting the emotion.

And another tip I found was practice mindfulness.

Great,

We're going to do that.

And I also found that it's really important to engage in positive self-talk.

So thanking yourself,

Having positive affirmations.

And then make a choice how to respond to your emotions.

And this was something,

It was a great takeaway message I saw in a video with my son.

And do you know what a healthy way is to respond to your emotion?

Or if you have different emotions,

This is a healthy way to respond when you're angry.

When you're sad.

Sometimes this takes practice.

I know I have a boxing ball in my garden nowadays,

And I know I need to hit that when I'm feeling angry.

When I'm sad,

Sometimes a walk can help.

After,

I've really felt the emotion.

But I still go into this havoc,

And I don't know if you can relate to this.

That when I feel a difficult emotion,

Like anger or sadness,

It needs to go away.

And sometimes I try these emotional regulation skills to make it go away.

And I think acceptance is really important here,

That step of acceptance.

That sometimes it can take a day or two.

And of course,

One tip.

And I knew this already.

And it's so important.

But it's so difficult to practice.

Healthy sleep habits.

So we need to prioritize sleep.

And I know that when I feel very tired,

My emotions are more over the place and I can make bad decisions.

So I know that I really need to prioritize my sleep.

And then,

The following tip is social support.

It might seem very obvious,

Right?

But I sometimes forget,

Like,

Hey wait,

I can talk with a close friend about my emotions.

Or a family member.

Social support is really important in this,

And sometimes it helps to state what you need.

For example,

When I go to a friend,

I'm like,

I could really use your feedback.

For example,

When I go to a friend,

I'm like,

I could really use your feedback.

Or,

I need you to listen and let me process these emotions.

That tends to help.

And then,

I read.

And again,

I thought they seemed.

.

.

I was like,

Hopefully I'm bringing some new tips here.

But they sound a bit obvious.

But it is what they say.

Avoid or limit alcohol and drug use.

Because it can impair emotional regulation and lead to an increased emotional instability.

And also reduce caffeine intake.

Yeah,

And I'm saying this,

And I love coffee.

But caffeine can increase anxiety and make it harder to regulate emotions.

And then I read that a gratitude practice can really help.

For some,

It really works to start the day with listing three things they're grateful for.

Or ending the day.

But perhaps when you're at your stressful work,

At your stressful job,

You can list three things you're grateful for.

And the final tip is self-compassion.

Can you be kind to yourself when you experience negative or difficult emotions?

Self-compassion involves treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding as if you were a friend.

And we can practice them all today.

We can't do all these tips today,

But we will practice a couple of them in meditation.

And I invite you to pay more attention,

Or multiple times a day,

And have a check-in what your emotions are.

How am I feeling?

What am I feeling?

And how can I respond?

And in the following meditation,

I want to do an emotional check-in.

It's a brief,

Quick one you can incorporate every day.

But try it out for 21 days.

The following meditation takes 21 days to create a habit.

And hopefully this habit will also help you to regulate your emotions better.

And I want to start with creating space.

You're here,

You're already creating space.

That can also involve sitting comfortable,

Or laying down.

And you can close your eyes,

And land in your body.

Say hello,

Body.

And I want you to breathe into the mouth,

And breathe out through the mouth.

But make sure the out-breath is longer than the in-breath.

If you're not comfortable doing this,

Breathe at your own space.

But for 3 or 4 rounds,

Try to join me by breathing in through the mouth,

And out through the mouth.

That might have gone really quickly.

Try to join me in the next round,

Where you breathe in.

And you might get a thirsty mouth,

But that's actually a great thing.

Because this is signaling to your body that you're ready to dive in deeper and let the emotions come.

So please,

Join me again by breathing in.

We're going to dive in deeper into our body.

And feel how we are feeling.

What do you feel?

Cold or warm?

Any restriction,

Tightness?

Perhaps you're feeling tired?

And where do you feel that in your body?

And these might already be signs of your emotions.

Can you identify and label your emotions?

Let's not get into the story of why.

Just ask yourself,

Am I feeling anger,

Fear,

Happiness or sadness?

And what might help to accept the emotion and not run away from it,

Is to state it out loud.

For example,

I feel anxious,

But that's okay.

I feel happy,

But that's okay.

And try to trace it where you feel the emotional emotions in your body.

For example,

With my hand I'm tracing that anxiety is lurking around my stomach and my neck and throat.

And keep breathing through the emotion,

Let's not run away.

We're staying with the emotion.

And can you accept it?

Can you give it a number on a scale from 1 to 10?

For example,

My happiness is an 8,

But my anxiety is a 6.

My happiness is an 8,

But my anxiety is a 6.

Excellent,

Now please hug yourself.

Thank yourself for investing time.

And state it out loud.

I am working on regulating my emotions.

I am checking in.

I am doing my best.

I'm very grateful that you are here.

What are you grateful for?

And can you make a choice?

How would you like to respond to your emotion?

How would you like to respond to your emotion?

Perhaps talk to someone,

Exercise,

Go to bed early.

And I invite you to check in later this day again,

If that number of that emotion has changed.

Because emotions change.

So excellent,

You can open your eyes and come back.

How was this experience?

Reviews

Good refreshers for the tips to handle emotion! Thank you.