Common pitfalls in the healing,
Spiritual,
Self-love,
Alchemization journey.
So many of us come to this journey as these bright-eyed,
Bushy-tailed,
Excited people who want to grow,
Change their patterns.
Maybe we're actually not even bright-eyed,
Bushy-tailed,
Maybe we're just exhausted.
We found ourselves in the same loop with our partners,
With our friends,
And we start to think,
Hey,
Maybe I'm creating my reality because how is this pattern so common?
So we're like,
Okay,
It's time to change some patterns because these old patterns are not serving me.
It's time for me to grow and turn my trauma into a gift.
We start nice and strong.
We start with the breath work.
We start with maybe the meditations.
We start with the journaling,
Whatever tools we find.
And then at some point along our journey,
We have a little dip.
Maybe we miss a day of yoga.
Maybe we react.
We react in one of our subconscious patterns,
But now that we're conscious of it,
We get really frustrated with ourselves for acting that way.
We're like,
I shouldn't be reacting.
Now that I'm aware of my patterns of reaction,
I shouldn't be reacting.
And then we start getting frustrated with ourselves.
We get angry with ourselves.
And then we start noticing all these things.
You know,
When we start to look at our traumas and our stories and these things that happen,
It's like we find a little hangnail,
Right,
On our finger,
And we're like,
Oh,
Look at this little hangnail.
Let me just,
Let me just start to,
Like,
Let me just start to take it off.
And then you start to peel it and then it goes way farther than you're ready for.
And then now your finger's bleeding and it's just,
It's just,
It's so intense and it's so painful.
And you're like,
I didn't sign up for this.
Like,
Yes,
I did some ceremony and yes,
I said call and change and illusion and yes,
You know,
I,
I,
I did all this stuff,
But I didn't know that it meant that I had to,
You know,
Confront a situation or look in the mirror or hold myself while I'm crying.
Like I didn't expect it to be this messy.
Oh my goodness.
It's so hard.
If it's so hard,
Then I must be broken.
And the harder it is,
The more broken I must be.
That's not the case.
The harder it is,
It doesn't mean the more broken you are because you're not broken.
And in fact,
The story that I want to change in us is our greatest shadow.
Our greatest shadow is,
It's alchemized,
It's evolved,
It's,
It's,
It's,
That version is our greatest gift.
So for me,
I'm really focused on helping people express themselves because I have struggled with that in my life.
And even now,
As I'm doing it,
I'm having these moments where I'm thinking,
Am I even equipped to teach this?
Because I felt jealousy the other day and somebody who had truly cleared their throat chakra wouldn't feel jealousy.
Somebody who had fully cleared their throat chakra would be honest enough never to fall into people pleasing.
So who am I to teach this?
My imposter syndrome comes in.
It's like,
Who am I to teach this?
And it's like,
I'm actually perfect to teach this because I didn't,
It wasn't perfect.
And so I actually get to hold people through that journey because I've been there.
I am actually equipped because of the challenges.
And in the teaching of it,
It will reveal to me the shadows that haven't been healed.
So I actually grew up with a stutter.
I grew up with a little stutter.
I grew up people pleasing.
I grew up struggling with expression.
And now I am,
You know,
I,
But I always had these beautiful passions for,
You know,
Different forms of expression like art and music and dance.
But in the world,
There's so much competition around that I would go through these ebbs and flows with that form of expression.
I would sometimes say,
Oh,
Well,
Maybe I'm not worthy of this form of expression.
I used to always say,
I'm not really a painter.
I'm not a visual artist.
I'm more in music,
Right?
Because you know,
I had some friends who were really,
Really gifted visual artists.
And in that comparison,
I diminished myself.
I spent a lot of time diminishing myself,
Sometimes even playing,
Playing more naive than I was because I felt that,
Oh,
People wouldn't be in competition with me if I was innocent and naive and childlike,
Right?
And so experiencing feeling infantilized in my life,
I would sometimes infantilize myself.
I would,
I would be more baby than I was.
And that's a form of dishonesty.
So it's like,
Oh man,
I've,
I've existed in dishonest ways.
I've existed in jealousy.
I've existed in perfectionism and all these things really,
You know,
Block the throat chakra and that's not why I'm not equipped to hold space for that.
This is actually exactly why I'm equipped because it's like,
If somebody who was born into a wealthy family wants to teach you on how to be wealthy,
They have a perspective for sure.
And it's valuable.
And I think it's worth looking at.
But if somebody who wasn't raised in a wealthy family,
They had to overcome those wealth blockages.
So I would much rather learn,
You know,
Wealth wisdom from someone like Gary V,
You know,
Because he grew up quite poor or Tony Robbins,
You know,
He grew up,
You know,
Very poor as well.
And they alchemized that,
They overcame those blockages and they had to do things to go through it.
And so,
You know,
They started off at a more challenging,
You know,
Tier of wealth than I did.
And so I'm like,
Okay,
Well,
If they can do it,
I definitely can do it.
And so the same thing goes with this like expression.
And another thing that is interesting when we're on our teaching journey and we think,
Oh,
You know,
Maybe I'm not equipped to teach,
I'm not equipped to teach what I'm learning on my spiritual journey because maybe I haven't suffered enough,
Right?
You might look at me and say,
Well,
Of course she wants to teach,
You know,
Unlocking the throat chakra because,
You know,
She had a stutter growing up.
So she had this trauma that she learned to integrate and then now she's teaching us that.
But the irony is,
You know,
The story that you have around you not having suffered enough in order to teach is also blocking the throat chakra because it's making you think,
Oh,
I am not worthy of sharing my voice.
I'm not worthy of sharing my voice because I haven't suffered enough.
Oh,
Maybe I had it too easy.
I mean,
There was a part of me that also had expression really easy.
If you think about it,
I grew up in a very musical family.
I had access to the arts.
I was homeschooled.
Once I developed my stutter,
My parents were brave enough to take me out of school so that I could redevelop some of my confidence.
They put me in musical theater.
So,
You know,
Part of me might be like,
Oh,
Maybe it was too easy.
Maybe it was just handed to me.
And so maybe I'm still not good enough to be a teacher.
Maybe I haven't had enough hardship to be a good teacher,
Which is completely bogus.
You can share your joy too.
The transference of your joy is a gift as well.
We can just stand in your light and experience the radiation of your,
The permission.
We can experience the permission of how good you're doing.
And that's sometimes the most beautiful gift.
Like sometimes,
You know,
I share music and I really love it.
And sometimes I just get myself right into a good flow,
Like a good flow.
And I just like transmit a vibe on the piano or toning or singing or whatever it is.
I just transmit my vibe and I'm like,
Don't listen to the words I'm saying.
Just feel the frequency of my vibe and see how that goes for you,
Right?
So you don't always need to,
You know,
Share word for word the journey of what you've been through.
Sometimes you can just tune to the frequency of your divine essence,
Your divine light,
Your divine goodness,
And just transmit that to us.
And we can revel,
Revel in your essence.
The most powerful teachers teach with sigils,
Not with words.
So the first layer of teacher,
They,
They share,
You know,
They share just words.
And then the second sort of layer,
They share in,
In allegory,
Kind of like the Bible.
And then the third layer,
They work with sigils.
So if you think of like Jesus,
He,
He told allegories,
But then,
You know,
He,
The sigil that was born was the cross.
And that sigil can,
Can communicate with our subconscious in a powerful way.
So we are essentially like walking sigils.
You know,
There's people who stand before a monk and they find themselves crying just by being in the monk's presence.
The monk doesn't have to share every experience that they've been through.
We're just feeling the transference of the sigil of their essence.
It's really beautiful.
That's really powerful.
So while we're on this spiritual journey,
I think we can get in the way of ourselves by thinking we're broken.
By thinking we're broken,
By thinking that we haven't experienced enough pain to be a teacher,
Or thinking that our voice is not worthy of being shared because our message is already being shared.
This is where jealousy comes in.
Okay,
Well,
So-and-so,
They shared their voice,
And they,
They shared a similar outcome that I wanted to help,
You know?
But if we operated on that,
Like,
There would be very few meditations on Insight Timer.
And the thing is,
The vessel is so important.
The vessel is so important,
And I might be a perfect vessel for you,
But not for Joe.
And that's okay,
Because there's someone else who's sharing a very similar transmission to me,
But it makes more sense to Joe,
Because it's Joe's language.
It's Joe's language.
It's,
It's,
It's a vessel that makes sense for Joe.
I've,
I've recently went through this,
Where someone shared a beautiful,
Beautiful transmission,
And I,
I felt envious of it,
Because I thought,
Oh my god,
This is even better than I could have ever transmitted it.
And no,
It's not better.
It's just different.
It's a beautiful,
Beautiful,
Beautiful transmission.
But I felt envious,
Because I thought,
Oh,
Will my transmission ever be that good?
It's like,
No,
It won't be that good at being whoever said it.
It won't be as good as the person who created it.
But that's a different medium.
I'm the medium of me.
And the medium of me is going to do the very best at transmitting my wisdom,
My teachings.
And even if they're all the same teachings,
Because we're all going towards the same place.
We all want to achieve self-love,
And,
You know,
Peace,
And,
And this buoyancy in our bodies,
And a healthiness,
And,
And,
And all these beautiful things.
Like,
That's where we're all going.
And even if I say it one way,
And somebody just changes just a few words,
You know,
Says,
Transmission,
Instead of channeling,
Or uses,
I would use an instrument analogy to explain mediumship,
But,
You know,
You might use cars.
And even though it's the same message,
And potentially even the same outcome,
That's okay,
Because we all have such different,
Beautiful,
Unique ways of communicating.
And so your voice matters.
Your voice matters.
Your experience matters.
And you're exactly where you need to be on your journey to accumulate the wisdom that you need to turn your experience,
Your shadow,
Your trauma,
Your pain,
Any sort of resistance in your life that you may be experiencing into your gift,
Into your wisdom,
Into your offering.
What you lay down at the altar for all to revel in and bathe in the gift of the essence of you.
So thank you for being on this journey.
Thank you for sharing your voice.
And remember,
You are not broken.
You are just getting closer,
And closer,
And closer to yourself every single day.
And it is a privilege to witness that.
Aloha mā.
Thank you,
And I love you.
