Moving Through The Fear Of Being Judged

Listen to this talk to support you in moving through the fear of being judged.

Unknowingly, we often make what we assume other people may think about us to be more valuable than our own opinion of ourselves. This track will support you in coming back to you, and getting curious about what you believe and want to believe.

There are also tips for when you are being judged by others.

I hope this track supports and empowers you!

Transcript

Hi there,

Trisha here,

And I want to talk to you today about something that really holds us back,

Steals our joy,

And makes us feel not enough.

And that is the fear of being judged.

Oftentimes,

We are unconsciously making what we assume people may think about us to be more valuable than our own opinion of ourselves.

We are constantly worrying about what will people think about me if I wear this,

If I'm dancing like this,

If I say this,

If I order this at a restaurant.

These very small things that really can mess with us.

And of course,

It goes much deeper.

This one really big,

Deep awakening happened to me a long time ago.

And it was that I realized that when I am in that fear of being judged,

When I'm worried about what other people might think about me,

May say about me,

What is actually happening is that I am judging myself.

I'm going to say that again.

When you are worried about other people judging you,

You are living into that judgment of yourself.

And it doesn't feel good.

For me,

When I had this,

Aha,

It was both painful and a relief.

Painful because I was like,

No,

No,

No,

No,

No,

I don't want to believe that that's what I think of myself.

It's just those people out in the world that may judge me.

They're like terrible people,

Not me.

But the truth was,

You know,

We take so much from society from media about and we come to believe what we should look like,

Do,

Say,

Be.

So we're subconsciously thinking those thoughts,

And then we end up judging ourselves.

So it felt terrible to realize those were my some of my own thoughts and beliefs and feelings about myself that I was making up.

That's what other people may think about me.

But the relief was that I got to then question it.

So here are some tips for when you find yourself in that fear of being judged.

And then I'm also going to share some tips when you really are being judged.

Because yeah,

A lot of it's in our head.

And a lot of it is the fear.

But yes,

Of course,

People out in the world will judge you,

No matter what,

No matter what choice you make,

No matter what you wear,

No matter what size you are,

No matter how much money you have,

No matter what,

Right?

Okay.

So when you find yourself in a moment of judgment,

When you find yourself in that fear of judgment,

And then you can see,

Is this me judging myself?

Or just even if you just want to still look at it as if other people may think this or say this about me,

You get to ask yourself,

Is that what I want to believe?

Right?

So let's say you're walking out the door perhaps,

And you're like,

Oh,

I don't know.

I don't like how I look in this.

Oh,

You know,

Whatever people are going to think I'm too much or too this or too that.

Those thoughts can come up automatically in your mind,

No matter how much healing and work you have done,

Right?

Because of again,

So much of the conditioning from society and how we have been told we should look be act.

So first of all,

Have compassion for yourself always,

Always.

And always,

It's not your fault for having those thoughts.

But you can choose to question them.

So then ask yourself,

Is that what I want to believe?

Is that what I want to believe?

That I'm too this or I'm too that or for some reason,

I'm not allowed to be out in the world,

Wearing this thing or being this size,

Whatever it is,

I'm just using that one reference,

Because that does come up for many people,

The physical appearance.

So is that what I want to believe?

And you can just leave it right there.

And that's such a great shift in the fear of being judged in you may be judging yourself in that moment,

To is that what I want to believe?

Just asking yourself that you can then take it a step further.

What do I want to believe?

I want to believe I'm allowed to wear whatever I want.

I want to believe that I can be whatever size dress however I want.

And I am worthy of being out in the world.

I want to believe that this outfit is comfortable,

And it brings me joy and I'm gonna wear it.

So whatever it is,

Right?

So whatever is coming up for you,

When you are in the sphere of being judged,

When you hear yourself judging yourself,

Ask yourself,

Is that what I want to believe?

And then you can ask yourself,

What do I want to believe?

And then you can add another step if you want,

You can create an affirmation.

You know what an affirmation is,

Right?

So turn that into a first person,

I am this or just some sort of right.

So I am enough as I am.

So I want to believe I am enough,

Then turn it into I am enough,

Or I love myself as I am,

I am free to wear what I want,

Whatever.

Okay,

So great questions when you find yourself in judgment,

And when you find yourself in fear of being judged.

Is this what I want to believe?

What do I want to believe?

Then you can turn it into affirmation.

Next thing,

Like I said,

Sometimes we really are being judged.

So that doesn't feel good.

But one way that really supports me is to remind myself,

A judgment can only have power over me,

If I believe it to be true.

I'm gonna say that again,

Because judge,

You know,

Being judged by someone else,

It's never really going to feel fun,

Right?

Sometimes you can let it roll off your back.

Sometimes it's a lot heavier,

Because also the judgment might be coming from people that you know and love.

It could be coming from strangers on the internet,

And that can still be really painful.

A judgment can only have power over you,

If it is something that you believe to be true.

So ask yourself,

Do I believe that when somebody's judging you for something?

Is that really what I believe?

And again,

Then you get to ask yourself again,

Oh,

Really,

Is that what I believe?

What do I want to believe?

Because sometimes we do just have this deep conditioning.

That means we want to believe something else,

But there's something locked in deeply that is trying to make us feel like we're not enough in some way.

So always meeting yourself with compassion.

A judgment cannot have power over you unless you believe you believe it to be true.

But then even if you realize,

Oh,

Does a part of me believe that?

Then you can do that work and ask yourself,

Just start with what do I want to believe?

Or starting even with is that what I want to believe?

Because you might be like,

Oh,

I guess a part of me does believe that because society has conditioned you to believe that,

Right?

It's not your fault.

Have the compassion.

Is that what I want to believe to be true?

What do I want to believe?

I hope that these curiosities and questions to ask yourself will support you as you move through your days.

And again,

This is part of the human condition.

The fear of being judged,

That we end up judging ourselves,

That we end up falling into judgment of others.

And so again,

I'm reminding you to always come back to compassion,

And then get curious about your thoughts.

When you find yourself judging someone else,

What's really happening here?

Do I really want to believe that?

Because sometimes again,

We go into judgment of others,

Out of fear,

Out of our own worries of self worth,

Out of comparison,

Because we want what they want.

And so you don't have to end there,

Though.

If you feel yourself in judgment,

Get curious.

What's happening here?

Is that what I want to believe?

What do I want?

And then your judgment may end up turning into acknowledgement in celebration of that person,

Because perhaps you're seeing something that you want.

Or perhaps it's just a deep rooted belief that you have grown up with.

And so you can choose to let that go.

And just simply ask myself,

Is this what I want to believe?

I hope that these tips have supported you.

I'll leave you with one more time saying,

A judgment cannot have power over you,

Unless you believe it to be true.

And to ask yourself,

Is this really what I want to believe?

Reviews

Love this thank you. X

Insightful
Thank you

I hadn't thought of it like that. Thanks, I'll try it today! :)

Very helpful! Good food for thought. Thank you 🙏

Thank you so much 😊

Ouch and woo. This is an amazing revelation and realisation. Thanks wish I’d known this 20 years ago lol. Thank you. This is so true and so important and something that is so so relevant for me. Thank you.

Extremely helpful!!! Thank you! 🙏🏻

Awesome. Thank you!

Great talk, thanks.

Insightful & very helpful. Thank you ♡