Creating A Relationship With Ourselves

Basing our attitude on negative perceptions veils us from our truth, our dreams and our goals. Tony Samara allows us to remember that we can step back, look at and let go of our struggles rather than reacting to them, and that with mindful attention we can nurture and strengthen ourselves, creating a more profound connection to the symbiosis of life, to the potential that is everywhere.

Talk: 20 min
Meditation: 10 min
Thank you for choosing one of Tony Samara's meditational tracks today.

Transcript

You you you Today I thought to speak about the relationship that we have with ourselves ourselves sometimes a very complex relationship the most complex of all relationships really the relationship that we have with ourselves And one that we don't like speaking about one that we sometimes are not aware of one that we sometimes Create in such a way we create this type of relationship with ourselves in such a way that it bails us from our truth from our potential from our dreams from our goals everything seems very complex when the relationship with ourselves is one based on negativity rather than one based on Curiosity and the potential that is possible so one of the things that we can do to change this is to remind ourselves that a Relationship with ourselves is fundamental for everything every part of our experience depends on the type of relationship that we have with ourselves if we affirm this within our everyday actions and Recognize that this is important then everything can be seen from very new you from a new angle you can step back more easily and look at the situation from a perspective that Is about transformation rather than about reaction and perhaps getting caught in the little?

The little that isn't really that important and making a big thing out of that little that isn't really that important so If you are used to sort of getting going through powerful storms if you are used to sort of thinking in a negative way if you're used to challenging yourself in a very rigid and very uncaring way if you're used to Just struggling and facing those aspects of yourself that are difficult and being very serious about those aspects So that they become very much a part of your life and a major part of your life then this is one thing that you can do just Remember that as you breathe in you breathe deeply into your body You're connecting to the symbiosis.

That's life You're connecting to more than yourself.

You're connecting to the potential that's everywhere the spaciousness of consciousness is Something that can only be understood when you open yourself in this way the first thing to do when you want a better relationship with yourself is to breathe and Recognize that your being here this manifestation Right here in this material world is really important and to be mindful and give attention to this part of yourself that sometimes is just in a state of auto response to do this for a few moments just breathe in and recognize that the picture is bigger than what you think and The roots of your connection to the world and to channeling the energy that is healing your being That is the universe.

That's the symbiosis of life That is got stronger roots than you can imagine Deeper and more profound there is a deeper and more profound connection As you open up in this way as you recognize that it is possible to nourish the relationship with yourself then you help to Strengthen this Awareness I am I am more than my thoughts.

I am more than my feelings I am more than that little picture that the mind is sort of reminding me of in a very negative way Reminding me of this or that my fear my pain my suffering.

I'm more I am It doesn't matter.

You don't have to find out what you are By affirming that I am you then channel the universal wisdom that is within the space that you're opening up to and The I am becomes very clear from within itself So it's almost that con it's almost like consciousness becomes aware that it is conscious And this is very much part of the spiritual practice So when you become more conscious in this way when consciousness is aware of itself when you sort of move beyond the little picture and open up to a Perspective that is not normal a radical perspective.

That is not normally embraced then you know that one of the things you can do today is set clear intention a clear intention begins with love and care with the love and care that relates to yourself This doesn't mean that you need to sort of be self-centered But your attitude needs to be loving and caring when you set an intention if you set an intention as a reaction to pain or as a reaction to the negative that the mind is focused upon and There isn't love and care in what you're doing is just the need to survive and that is an old old way of doing things that really It just doesn't work anymore and it's not very useful At least in the long term.

It's not very useful So when you set a clear intention in this way,

You're not being selfish remind yourself and anyone else around you who may think Caring being caring and being loving in this way is selfish remind yourself and anyone else that It's like the famous famous Story that you hear Every time you board a plane,

You know,

It's famous because it's repeated so many times it becomes part of The way that we just accept things We accept things because they're told to us Okay,

This is what you do if the plane crashes If you're sitting on an airplane then you always put your oxygen mask on first Oh,

You know,

It's It's an interesting scenario who knows what anyone will do when the plane crashes,

But you know It's a good intention to have and actually it's a good practice Now to remind yourself every time not wait until things start crashing You know the airplane or whatever it is around you that starts to be so overwhelming and intense that you Don't feel that you can you have the energy to reach out and do anything for yourself But right now to begin the practice every time you create an intention that it's not being selfish to make sure that you Nurture the roots of your being so that you can help Others and yourself when the time is right to come back to a brighter Come back to a brighter more luminous perspective of life and to truly be a human being We are not very human in our interactions with others when when we're when when we're treating Ourself in in a way that is so very negative when when we sit there and listen to the script in the mind You know creating this sort of tension the atmosphere of negativity and we continue to listen to that over and over again that is not very healthy and it doesn't help us to be a Human being in the way that we want to be,

You know,

Our humanity is lost and as you can see today very often That's very very obvious Very obvious around us and the way that human beings treat each other,

You know we've lost some aspect of our humanity because we've forgotten to come back to clear intention that Starts with love and care make sure this is part of your daily um manifestation What would I do?

Is very very often in the morning.

The first thing I do is look at my intentions for the day What is my intention today?

My intention is to sit and meditate for 20 minutes My intention is to cook a healthy meal.

My intention is to be very focused at work but I don't do it out of duty or I don't do it out of guilt or I don't do it out of So much to do I have to schedule everything I do it out of love and care that attitude Helps the flow it helps to create a flow Where we understand that even if there is no perfection in what we're doing Even if we do things and there are mistakes and we do things and we don't quite meet our expectations or goals we know that Nothing is really perfect because everything is impermanent everything is in a state of flux so to have expectations of oneself From a state of perfection sometimes can be another way to create guilt and pain and suffering So let those expectations go.

It doesn't mean that you let your your Intention go your intention is to do whatever it is that you need to do out of love and care But you let go of those expectations so that there isn't that judgment in the background.

Oh Look,

You can't do that.

Look,

I knew you couldn't do that.

You know that sort of subtle subconscious judgment that very often prevents any change prevents any intention from being from manifesting in your life,

So Just let them go A tiny bit in the beginning may be difficult because addictions and habits,

You know Addictions and habits,

You know,

They are difficult to let go of but just a little bit.

Okay,

I I'm not Don't have to be perfect.

I'm okay,

You know,

I don't have to be this perfect whatever picture that my mind is sort of manipulating me into accept All aspects of yourself at least one aspect,

You know,

Whatever Because in in the end you don't have to try to be something that you're not You're just encouraging the momentum the flow so that that flow Becomes part of your day daily ritual the way you communicate your to yourself and to the world So when you accept yourself in this way Then the smallest steps that you take every little Every little step that you make has a huge difference The impact is huge when you don't judge yourself because the energy is very focused very very empowering So the the small steps that you take gradually grow and grow and You know,

It's a bit like If you've ever done this and the little snowball that you roll and roll and it gets bigger and bigger You know a little bit of kindness and nurturing and acceptance goes a long way and when you do this everything begins to improve within everything begins to change and improve and The improvement is because you're connecting to the positivity that's around you and within you so Knowing this when you connect to the positivity You will recognize that one thing that One attribute that's really important when you connect to positivity in this way is that you actually You let go of self-criticism you step back from self-criticism and this is such a powerful thing that happens to many I've worked with people,

You know um even hollywood sort of actors and It's interesting you'd think they that they don't criticize themselves because they're famous and you know are like top top actors and To me look it looks like they know exactly what they're doing but criticism,

You know,

The more you do the more the more Perfection that you sort of seek within your work or within your spiritual journey The more easy it is to fall into self-criticism.

So as you practice meditation Be aware of your thoughts more aware of your thoughts and more aware of the criticism The self-criticism that sometimes is there in your thoughts in your feelings And listen to the tone.

Are you harsh?

Is that self?

Critical inner voice harsh.

Is it really putting you down?

Down and stay take a step back,

You know like you do in meditation and observe be mindful Step back from that voice If you can just step back a little bit energetically feeling wise mentally step back And know that you're not your thoughts.

Your thoughts are impermanent and that flow can be watched in the same way as being mindful about your body or being mindful about the sensations that your body are receptive to You can watch those thoughts in the same way step back and watch the clouds as they move rather than get caught in the structure of The storm or in the structure of the cloud that is veiling whatever possibility That you may have to see beyond the clouds as you watch them you'll begin to enjoy The flow you'll begin to step back naturally and you'll begin to really help the space Come back to healing because the the thoughts that are there in the background will lose their sting or their power or their negativity as you sit in meditation and Learn to be kind to yourself Those positive qualities as you learn to become kind In the way that you approach your thoughts and the way that you communicate to your thoughts and your feelings and that that embraces certain positive qualities That are huge those qualities are huge and very important.

They're not small or insignificant Even though they may seem as small and insignificant when faced by when faced in a challenge or when challenged by so many difficult things and being kind being loving may seem to the mind as Insignificant and unimportant but to the heart this is very empowering So,

You know,

You could just be open to the communication that Is happening in a kind and loving way.

So listening to the the energy that is behind the say self-criticism that is happening in your thoughts And as you relax And just learn to be kind to yourself Then you are just learning how to listen how to be still And you're just being mindful of whatever negative whatever positive is inside of yourself without needing to do anything You're just being kind This isn't easy,

But as you learn to just Focus on the kindness and the loving aspect of being aware Being connected to the communication then communication loses its sort of sense of manipulation That is very often part of our communication even in meditation This is why i'm speaking about this today Because even in meditation we can be very self-critical We can be very negative in the way that we think about ourselves other people,

Of course,

But ourselves and this is fundamental To when if you want to transform and you want to change it's fundamental that you Are kind to yourself and to forgive yourself for all those things that you didn't do quite right and those mistakes and whatever Else that's not perfect Making mistakes It's part of being a human being you know understanding that you can't be perfect Until you learn how to do what you need to do and that learning takes time and patience That's part of being a human being you know,

We have to move on and forgive ourselves Forgive ourselves and learn that it's okay to make mistakes It's okay for everyone to make mistakes.

It's okay for children to make mistakes.

It's okay for adults to make mistakes It's okay for your friend for your partner to make mistakes.

It's okay Give yourself permission to let go This is an aspect of forgiveness and to just be grateful for the energy.

This is an attitude of gratitude To be grateful for the energy that you know All that is all this manifestation.

That is the symbiosis of life That is incredible gives you a connection to the world that is Magical if you think about it,

You know just to be grateful the sun is shining the air is fresh The beautiful nature around me is so nurturing the cosmos is so incredibly infinite Gratitude is a statement of your attitude that Falls into the way that you create Clarity in your intention.

So when you're grateful Your intention which is the focus of this meditation your intention then is based on abundance based on recognition unity rather than the self-criticism that then creates An impossibility for the mind it's impossible for the mind to be grateful and self-critical and negative at the same time So we choose you know,

Every time you forgive yourself You can choose to be grateful every time you are kind to yourself.

You can choose to be grateful and this is powerful,

You know Being grateful in this way has been proven through science to not only be beneficial In the way that the brain functions but also beneficial in in a social Communicative sort of way,

You know people feel and sense when we're grateful and when there is this attitude of gratitude There is an energy that is very very obvious and so the intention that you create then flows through that energy and through the flow that you're creating through gratitude through this sort of structure that gratitude creates within and within you and within the social system that you live in within the within your work or within the family constellation that you're Navigating through and creates this structure that supports a very powerful intention.

So Then all of a sudden what you do in meditation is rather than sit in a In a way where you're criticizing yourself or getting lost in the guilt or the pain you just End up feeling deep gratitude This is what we are going to do today.

So Coming back to your heart The mind is there you're observing the clouds but you're really focused and present to the energy of the heart So as you breathe in and breathe out To sense the energy of the heart take a few moments to come back to this beautiful place Just be deep breath And Deep breath Let go of the thoughts let go of the feelings And just be mindful and aware of this beautiful space the heart sense the heart Be aware of the heartbeat be aware of the energy around the heart And expand into a state of gratitude by just breathing in Connecting communicating to the beautiful cosmos that is all around you You You You deep breath Deep breath You're this beautiful vehicle this channel you're this beautiful being And gratitude helps you to recognize the beauty of just being alive the miracle the magic of being alive Open and receptive to the stillness and to the energy that flows through you through the heart Through this space of gratitude And beaming this out to the world And beaming this out to the world to everyone to every being you don't need to focus on a specific person You can just generally be beaming the world this Wonderful intentional gratitude that expands into the symbiosis.

That's life every little molecule in the cosmos Hears you Vibrates with you elevates with you Deep breath You You Deep breath so very open and receptive to the stillness within Breathing into the abdomen and relaxing letting go on the out breath Gratitude can be communicated as a vibration as a sound So on the out breath as you breathe out relaxing into the vibration of the mantra the vibration of the sacred sound In the ancient language the aramaic ancient language this sound used by mystical um christians in the early early times was shem Even before christianity the energy of shem the energy of just being your energy the core energy When repeated as a vibration you repeat this on the out breath and sense the vibration within your body It's very powerful As you repeat on the out breath Shem Let yourself Be the channel of gratitude your attitude transforms from one that is preoccupied with the various aspects of the mundane world and now as you repeat on the out breath Vibration of gratitude touches every molecule Within the cosmos and this vibration continues forever into infinity deep breath You Deep breath Relaxing letting go into the stillness From within this stillness from within this beautiful attitude of gratitude Just being clear That deep within your heart there is an intention being created An intention to be open and receptive to the gifts That now this vibration creates all around you And to just accept yourself just as you are no need to be critical no need to push No need to struggle with all the issues that the mind is so very focused on So the intention comes from a space of freedom Knowing that this intention now has been communicated you've communicated this intention To the space around you and the materialization Of your intention will happen be patient You may need to be more clear more mindful more aware of the gifts that come your way Remember as you let go of the self-critical part of yourself you open up to the receptivity that Allows you to notice things the bigger picture Awareness helps you to notice what's really around you So creating this intention for today And perhaps just taking a break for a few minutes once or twice during today and Making sure that you connect to your breath you connect to your heart And you're open and receptive to the gifts coming your way Deep breath You may wish to continue in stillness for a few more moments Thank you You

Reviews

Best medicine I’ve received in quite some time and a perfect tool to start my day
Thank you
Blessings
W

Lovely and meaningful. Thank you 🙏🏼

Perfect for me to find this today as I struggle with solo isolation currently. Very helpful to work with Gratitude and Kindness towards myself. Will come back to this as a basis for practice. Thank You!