Here we are,
Gently taking our time to settle in.
No rush.
We can totally just be here.
What a simple opportunity we have here,
On a regular basis.
Not so much to come here and learn something new,
But to come here and check in with a willingness to remember.
Oh yeah.
It's funny to me,
And of course I see myself get caught up in it all the time,
But it's funny this human agenda that we have.
Always thinking it's going somewhere.
Something new is coming.
And just like meeting with you,
To come back to this space,
I come back to the same spot I was last time,
The same now,
The same life.
And what I'm seeing right now,
As this opportunity of spirituality,
Is this simple invitation to once again see that what I think is happening,
Isn't really happening.
And it goes in both directions,
With both the negative and the positive.
Oh yeah.
What I think I'm experiencing here,
Is to really experience my thoughts about it.
I'm experiencing what I think is happening,
And what I think is happening,
Isn't really happening,
But it's perfectly fine that I think it's happening.
Maybe the better question is,
How's it going?
Do you like thinking that that's happening?
Is that helpful?
Is it true?
Is it kind?
Is it loving?
Is it supportive?
Is it reflective of what you deeply know in your heart?
Do you see this?
It's like asking the question,
What are you painting?
You see,
Because in this vast emptiness of all that is,
Is very clearly the opportunity to paint.
In everything we go through,
In each moment,
There truly is a blank canvas,
And we're painting.
Whether what you're going through is an interaction with another human being,
Or what you're going through is to experience some inner play that's unfolding.
Whether it's an irritation,
A frustration,
Or even an excitement,
These are all things that you're meeting,
And in what you're meeting is a blank canvas.
And you see,
Even as we sit here right now,
You could meet your whole life,
Or you can meet your past week.
You see the infinite variations of what you can paint,
And it's not so much what do you see,
It's how do you see?
How do you see what you see?
And you know,
Adorably,
The more attached we are to this human form,
Our human story,
Which is to really believe the narrative,
The more difficult it is to find this space that allows you to see it differently.
It's like in our attachment,
We're so caught up to making it a certain way.
We're so afraid it won't be this or won't be that.
And what a beautiful invitation to take a moment,
And if you can,
Just see that it's nothing at all.
It reminds me of the phrase,
Why am I going through this?
And the most gentle answer is,
Because you think you're going through it,
And if you get still and breathe,
You might see that you're not going through that at all.
If anything,
What you are being presented with is an opportunity to see something with more love.
It's interesting,
When I look at my experience,
It's quite scary to invite love into the picture because that love so obviously wants to let go.
And then there's that human part of me that doesn't want to let go,
That wants to make sure it turns out a certain way,
Wants to make sure I get what I want,
Wants to make sure I don't quote-unquote fail,
Which is to just make it how I want it to be.
Do you see how that grip doesn't want love to come in?
It's not safe.
I might not get what I want.
And of course,
I guess for me anyway,
The salvation is just asking,
OK,
But what's really true here?
And I see that I'm just fighting for all these little illusions,
This restriction that's afraid of love,
This movement that doesn't want to let go.
It's just that part of me that's scared,
But it's also that part of me that's confused,
That doesn't see what's real.
And I always get brought back to this place that is the invitation to just surrender it all.
And in this remembering,
So obviously,
Is there this permission to just play again?
It can be so gentle to just play again.
I don't really know where I'm going.
I don't know what's coming.
I don't know what's going to happen.
It reminds me of a relationship dynamic,
Like if there's conflict or argument underneath all of that noise is the simplicity of,
Gosh,
I really love you.
I don't know.
And that part of me that is so scared of what might or might not happen,
It gets restricted.
It gets scared.
But really,
Gosh,
I just love you.
Do you see that?
To come back to that love you really have to let go of tomorrow.
It's so interesting because in the most absolute way,
It is an invitation to surrender it all.
And my goodness,
The more real I think the future is,
Which is all the things I'm afraid of,
The more difficult it is to let it all go.
I guess it's helpful to take an honest moment and reflect on my life thus far.
And I always am fascinated to see how much it hasn't gone how I thought it was going to go.
And how much I've been taken care of.
And how much really,
In the deepest truth of things,
I am whole and complete.
I'm not truly missing anything,
Really.
Do you see,
The only thing I'm missing is an idea about myself.
And that's the only thing I've been chasing,
Is some idea about myself that I can hold on to,
Where I might prove to others that I'm enough.
It's such a silly quest to be enough.
How unending it is.
And again,
Beyond all of that noise,
Which is just commotion in the mind,
There is so obviously an enoughness in this moment.
An enoughness where I don't need others to be different.
I don't need tomorrow to look a certain way.
I can see very clearly that life knows what it's doing.
Therefore,
I can put all of my faith and trust in a life that knows what it's doing.
You know what I think this is also called?
Blind faith.
I heard this the other day,
I don't even remember when,
But I was watching some Netflix show or something,
And the word blind faith came up,
And the importance of it in a religious context.
It's like,
Oh yeah,
That makes sense.
Like I don't need to see in order to trust.
I don't need to know where it's going in order to trust,
Or to have faith.
I can truly just be.
In one way,
It's like coming to terms with the reality that there is no answer.
Which is also saying there is no question.
Because you know what will happen,
Is whatever will happen.
Life will always flow.
Things will always change.
And somehow,
Even in what I am,
There will be a flow.
I will do what I will do.
And you know what's so interesting about this?
I swear there's a book in me about this.
That in all of my problematic movements,
Let's just say in all of my violent tendencies,
Is the absence of that trust.
Like if I'm really so concerned about fucking it up,
I'm only going to do so because I'm not trusting.
Because I'm getting in the way,
Because I'm trying to control things.
Because I'm wanting everything to be different.
That's when I get agitated.
That's when I do stupid shit.
And to really see that is also like seeing there's really no other option here.
It's like the real and only solution is to love.
Is to let go.
Is to trust.
And it's so funny that this is what I always come back to see.
No matter what crazy story I go through in my mind.
In moments of stillness,
When I seek what's really true,
It's to come back to this.
A sweet surrender.
A gentle invitation that invites me to just play.
To breathe gently.
And to know that even though I don't know how,
All will be well.
And of course,
This creates a tremendous amount of space within what I am to show up to what's actually happening now.
And as I show up and address what's actually happening now,
It seems to have an amazing impact on the future.
Isn't that so obvious?
In the play of there being a future,
The greatest impact is on how much you can show up to right now.
While thinking and worrying about the future tends to give you the exact result you're so afraid of.
Therefore,
Let's do that.
Let's surrender the future.
We don't really know.
And in the spirit of that,
What is the most loving way we can show up to right now?
Or instead of right now,
To today?
Or this week?
Or this year?
It doesn't really matter,
But you get the point.
Today,
Introduce some love,
Introduce some play,
And wrap it all in a blind faith that knows life will be life.
And let the world think you're crazy.
