Life, Beyond The Mind

Explore the nature of holding space, innocent misunderstanding, and Life beyond the mind. Tiger dives into the importance of being present and acknowledging the chaos of the mind. Explore the fundamental invitation of spirituality and the beauty of embracing life.
The Q&A 31:14 covers topics such as being honest about what you know and what you don't know, holding space without an agenda or expectation, and being open to the lesson in being afraid.

Transcript

And what I find in my own experience,

As I come home and clarify the difference between what I imagine to be happening and what is really happening,

It allows me at least to some degree to approach life with more clarity,

With more love,

Compassion,

And freedom.

Because naturally,

In the what might appear to be the opposite of those things,

Fear,

Judgment,

Restriction,

I feel terribly confused inside of myself about what's real.

So this is the official holding space for love to be seen.

And in a way,

Even though we've done this before,

I feel like this is the very beginning of something truly beautiful.

Naturally,

It's temporary,

Like everything else.

But I want to just take a moment and speak to the nature of holding space.

And it might help us to set a tone for this time together.

For me,

Holding space is about being present without an agenda,

While also having a sincere openness for life to expose something beautiful.

And naturally,

This holding space can come in all different shapes and sizes,

For all different types of circumstance.

We can hold space for a friend or a loved one.

We can hold space for ourselves.

We can hold space in moments like this,

Where we just show up together without an agenda and with a profound openness for a deeper truth and beauty to be seen.

And it's quite fascinating because in contrast,

Our traditional ways of showing up,

Which is completely understandable,

But so often we're burdened by an agenda where we enter a moment with the hopes of getting something,

Maintaining something,

Holding on to something.

There's an agenda that reaches beyond the present moment.

And this is a playful disaster when it relates to connecting with ourselves,

Others,

And life.

And so these opportunities that we share with these live video broadcasts is an opportunity to connect with a more authentic and loving space.

And naturally,

If you've followed my sharing for any length of time and listened to my recordings,

You might be aware that the vast majority of my offerings are completely spontaneous,

Meaning that the recordings you listen to are me showing up in some space,

Whether it's an event,

A retreat,

A live broadcast,

And the recordings of which are just me showing up and sharing whatever arises in the moment.

And naturally,

There might be a title occasionally,

There might be some sort of focus of discovery,

But really I show up without a bunch of things to say,

Without a plan,

So to speak,

Because in my journey of doing this for over a decade,

There's been a profound teacher in my experience,

Which is presence in life,

Which invites me to just show up empty and enjoy what life wants to show me.

And naturally,

What is seen from behind my heart and eyes,

I then get to communicate in a very playful and beautiful way.

And that also speaks also to the nature of what I do.

And that is,

I am attempting to articulate something that is seen from within that really cannot be captured by the words that I use.

And so in a very direct and playful way,

There's nothing that I'm saying that is true.

If anything,

This is all poetry,

Where I am very playfully looking to put words to something that ultimately is impossible.

And it's very easy to get hung up on the words,

Thinking I'm saying the right or wrong thing or thinking you agree or disagree.

And that's really not the point.

I'm not here to declare or imply something that's ultimately true when words ultimately fail at touching reality.

And so as we share this space together,

Allowing for love to be seen,

Let's remember that the space that we share is so much more important than anything that might might come out of my mouth.

Because behind everything that I say is really a way of communicating a love for what you are,

For life,

And an invitation to see how free you are.

And if you want to argue with that freedom,

You are free to argue.

And that's perfectly fine.

But again,

This is all a reflection of what I see in my own experience.

And so in many ways,

I'm just talking to myself,

And you get to listen in and see if there's any resonance.

And there's a magic that happens when we come together in this way,

Without all the hangups,

Without even the hangup of thinking that I'm a teacher,

Even though I understand that in appearances,

It looks like that.

But for me,

It's not what I'm doing.

I'm looking within what I am,

I'm seeing something beautiful.

And I'm sharing that beauty,

Which for me speaks to the fundamental point and opportunity of being human,

Discover something beautiful on the inside of what you are,

And then share it with the world.

And so welcome,

We're going to hang out here for another 50 minutes or so.

And I'm going to share whatever arises,

Don't really know what I'm going to talk about.

There'll be some long pauses,

Some quiet spaces.

And then as questions come in,

I can speak to those questions.

At the end of our time,

We will rest in a very short and sweet guided meditation.

And then hopefully when we're done,

You'll recognize a beautiful invitation to continue your day with a spirit of love and play.

So thank you.

And we're going to just begin with a few moments of silence,

And just allow ourselves to really drop in to this space that we are sharing together.

It's a beautiful thing to write now,

Because I assume and I'm pretty sure that you,

Like me,

Can get so lost in the chaos of the mind that runs around in its imagination of the past and its imagination of the future.

And in this running around,

Which is completely understandable,

We often forget about the magic and simplicity of just being here right now,

Of just being alive.

And so often in my sharing,

I speak to the nature of an innocent misunderstanding,

Which surely you've heard me mention,

That says in some way or another,

All of the tension,

All of the anxiety,

The suffering,

It's all because of an innocent misunderstanding.

It's a it's a belief in thinking,

While thinking that what we're thinking is actually happening.

And yet beyond the noise in the mind,

There's a presence and a stillness here right now,

Where all of that isn't happening at all.

There was a misunderstanding about what was real,

A misunderstanding about what's happening or not happening.

And we so understandably get caught in that dream and mistake our life for the imaginary monsters in the mind.

And there's a understandable sadness intertwined with a beauty in all of that.

And I don't insinuate that we can somehow not have that happen,

Where we get lost in the mind's dream.

But I would suggest that there is an opportunity to maybe develop or open up to a greater capacity to discern the difference,

Discern the difference between what we imagine to be happening and what is really happening.

And this naturally speaks to the fundamental invitation of spirituality in its most authentic sense,

Which is to wake up to what's real,

Wake up to what's true,

And to allow that discovery to replace the noise,

Inviting us back to life.

And so naturally,

This is what this time is about together,

Holding space for love to be seen.

And I think it's so appropriately titled for love to be seen,

Especially when looking in a spiritual context,

Because regardless of the spiritual tradition,

They all point back to some flavor of love.

And this is so intrinsically tied with the nature of what is real and true love.

And in many ways,

It can sound silly.

It can sound like just another fantasy.

However,

I feel that the more we investigate what is real and what is true,

We can't help but recognize that there is a very real sense of love in the presence of what is real and true.

Because naturally,

As you become more present,

You start to see that there is less and less to be afraid of.

And as the fear decreases,

There's a beautiful recognition that it's okay to love.

And not only is it okay to love,

But you start to recognize that the fabric of life itself is a love that completely holds you as you are.

And for many,

This can totally escape you,

Like it just doesn't make any sense.

But maybe for those,

There have been moments when you touched upon it,

Where there's a experience of wellness and love beyond any reason,

Beyond any story.

You're just profoundly present.

You're profoundly present,

And you recognize this space that's empty of conflict,

That's empty of judgment,

Empty of fear.

And throughout the history of mankind,

There's been this invitation to come home to that.

Because in a very real way,

It's where you're from.

We were birthed from this space,

From this love.

And it's so easy to forget that.

And so how beautiful it is that to whatever degree,

As we share this space right now,

We can remember it.

We can make contact with it,

Even if it's just a little bit.

And what I find in my own experience,

As I come home and clarify the difference between what I imagined to be happening and what is really happening,

It allows me at least to some degree to approach life with more clarity,

With more love,

Compassion,

And freedom.

Because naturally,

In the what might appear to be the opposite of those things,

Fear,

Judgment,

Restriction,

I feel terribly confused inside of myself about what's real.

I feel confused about what it is I want or where I'm going.

And in that confusion,

There's a lot of imaginary monsters that seem like they might be in the way.

And naturally,

This makes for a very problematic human experience where we can't relax,

We can't enjoy,

We can't love.

And as I've mentioned,

This is all because of a very innocent misunderstanding about what's really happening.

And naturally,

Every spiritual practice,

Regardless of its shape or form,

Is an invitation into presence.

In fact,

Beyond just the spiritual label,

We can look at the act of doing what you authentically enjoy as a doorway into presence.

And as we come home into that presence,

We start to realize that,

Oh,

Maybe I'm okay.

Maybe it's okay that I don't know what's next.

Maybe it's okay to just be here right now and do the best that I can with what I have,

Where I'm at.

Maybe it's okay to just be alive.

Maybe it's okay that I don't get that something in the future that I think I need or that I think I want.

Maybe I'm okay as I am.

This brings up an interesting point that when I don't see that I'm okay as I am,

Then life becomes a struggle that tries to get to a future where I am okay as I am.

If only this,

If only that,

Na-na-na-na,

Then I could be okay.

And so this moment becomes a painful obstacle that's in my way of getting to the future.

Other people become obstacles that might prevent me from completing myself in the future.

That misunderstanding brings an agitation to living that I feel blinds us from the real opportunity of being alive.

And so we hold space in this moment to allow the misunderstanding to be clarified,

To also allow a beautiful forgiveness for the misunderstanding,

Because the misunderstanding is understandable.

Is it not?

It's completely understandable.

It's interesting because when there isn't forgiveness for the misunderstanding,

That just creates more misunderstanding.

When there isn't forgiveness,

Then that means there's a judgment,

And the judgment is only a judgment because there's a misunderstanding.

So it's a misunderstanding of the misunderstanding.

And you know,

Sooner or later,

We're going to have to just come back to the moment and see that,

Oh my goodness,

Maybe it's all just okay.

Sure,

Maybe it's not how I think I want it,

But maybe that's not the point of life to match how I think I want it.

Because maybe the way that it is now is how it's supposed to be.

Not saying that it might not be different tomorrow,

But right now,

Maybe it's how it's supposed to be in the same way that I could be arguing with the weather and saying,

Oh,

It shouldn't be like this.

It's such an inconvenience.

It's in the way.

Well,

I understand you see it that way,

But maybe the weather is as the weather is,

So that life can be life.

Maybe the weather doesn't do the weather so that you can get to where you think you're supposed to be in the future.

Maybe that's not the point of life.

Again,

Speaking to another misunderstanding about the point of life.

So often in our conditioning,

We've been sold this fantasy that life is about some image of tomorrow that says,

If only you can make it how you want it to be,

Then you'll be whole,

Then you'll be complete,

Then you'll be lovable.

And I have to ask my favorite question,

How's that going?

And again,

Talking to myself,

It's not going too well.

And I have to recognize that that game is being played and then come home and see what's true.

And in that truth,

I discover that,

Oh,

There's a beauty in this weather right now.

Not too long ago here in Sintra,

Portugal,

There were some crazy thunderstorms,

Lightning right over my house,

Torrential rain.

And I kept wanting to go outside and do my walks that I do every day.

And that wasn't really an option.

I wasn't looking forward to the risk of getting struck by lightning.

And it was kind of comical because yeah,

There was something that I wanted to do.

There was something that I was used to doing,

That I enjoyed doing,

But yet the weather wasn't accommodating.

And so I could argue with that.

I could fight it.

I could curse and judge life,

Proclaiming that life's making a mistake because I can't have what I want or I can relax.

And then the rain stops,

The thunder subsides,

No more flashes of light.

And then I go for a walk and I smell the absolute freshness of the environment.

You know that smell right after an event like that.

It's so beautiful.

And then I look around and I see how green everything is.

And I realize once again,

Wow,

It can only be this beautiful because of the rain.

Are we seeing the beauty that's here?

Are we open to seeing the beauty?

Or are we so obsessed with getting what we think we want?

And is that obsession creating an unnecessary conflict that doesn't allow us to be present and honor the miracle of life itself?

If you guys have any questions,

Now would be the time to send them in.

And if not,

We can just enjoy the space.

Might have some more things to say.

Jerry asks,

If I ever think about myself before the body?

Finds this question amazing,

As most people are fixated on after death.

Quite a weird journey into self,

And I enjoy not having answers but can make us feel more universal.

I feel you in that,

Jerry.

For me,

I recognize quite clearly that I'm not the body.

There is this body,

But I see that the I am-ness,

This one who is awake,

Is simply utilizing something called the body that facilitates the experience of being human.

And yet what happens to the body isn't happening to what I am in the same way that what happens to a car isn't happening to the one who owns the car.

And for me,

This develops a beautiful opportunity of relationship with the body,

To not take personally how the body might show up,

Whether that is in a shape that I might not like,

Whether that is an experience of sickness or disease that might be showing.

Rather,

It's simply something that's happening that's asking for my loving attention,

Rather than it's something that's happening that determines the worth and value of what I am,

Which is often the source of conflict.

Taking it personally,

Thinking that it means something about you,

And it does not.

Again,

Another innocent misunderstanding.

How silly it would be to think that if somebody scratched my car,

Not that I have a car,

But if somebody scratched my car,

That it means something about me.

Even to the degree if somebody said,

I don't like your car,

To think that it means something about me,

Does not.

And so yeah,

Such things are really beautiful to see.

And then even in the event of the body dying,

It makes no sense to me at all that what I am would die.

That appears to be an impossibility,

Since it's form that comes and goes.

And it's just a transformation of form.

And the awareness within that form also transforms.

It doesn't end.

There's nothing that ends.

Everything just transforms into a new experience,

Which is also a new experience that contributes to the whole of life.

And I love this.

I was talking to a friend the other day about how all of life eats slash consumes life.

And there's something very poetic in that for me,

That when you look at nature,

Animals eating animals,

Animals eating plants,

Animals eating plants,

Plants eating plants,

What is alive consumes that which is alive,

So that life can continue being life.

We as human beings consume that which is alive,

So that we can continue being alive.

And beyond any judgment about that,

There's something very sacred and honoring about that,

That that which is alive would sacrifice itself,

So that life can keep being life.

And as such,

When this body is done being alive,

It will give itself back to life,

So that life can keep being life.

And so what an honor to allow that all to unfold,

And to not resist it,

To not argue with it,

But to say thank you.

Sunny asks,

Any thought on how to support an 18-year-old son who struggles to ask for help?

He needs me to hold space for him,

But I find it difficult to sometimes be there for him in an emotional sense.

Let's look at that.

That's beautiful.

You know,

There's something that you say in here that jumps out at me,

And it's the line,

He needs me to hold space for him.

And I would question that because I also imagine that that creates an unnecessary tension,

Because fundamentally,

There's going to be a sense of inadequacy that fears you won't be able to do it the way he needs,

Almost as if it's up to you to do something,

Which comes with an outcome,

An agenda.

And fundamentally,

The future is unknown.

So if it comes with this expectation,

Then there's the chance that you might not reach that expectation,

When maybe it's possible that we don't really know what he needs.

Maybe there's a profound truth that says,

Wow,

I love you,

But I don't know.

I wish I knew.

But what I do know is that I love you,

And I'm sorry if you're hurting.

I'm sorry if you're struggling.

Maybe that's enough.

Maybe that's the space,

The openness to be profoundly honest about what you know and what you don't know.

Because isn't that the truth?

Isn't that the truth?

As much as we might want things for other people,

As much as we might not want them to struggle,

Struggle is part of it.

It's what invites us to grow.

There's nothing alive that lives without the experience of struggle.

If we fight the struggle,

The struggle becomes more intense.

If we judge the struggle,

The struggle becomes amplified.

And I find that there's a beautiful opportunity,

Especially in this dynamic of supporting a child as they travel this journey of being human,

That can be so confusing,

Is to just be profoundly honest.

And much of that honesty is going to come back to the acknowledgement of the unknown.

And then in that unknown space,

Just like this space that's held right now,

It's like,

I don't know what to talk about.

I don't know what to say.

But something shows itself.

And so often if we can hold space for others without an agenda or an expectation,

There's often a support that shows itself.

And it doesn't come with a demand,

Right?

Like,

Oh,

I know what you should do.

Maybe more sincerely,

It's,

Oh,

What about this?

If not,

No worries.

But does this resonate?

It's very soft and sweet,

Gentle and open.

That feels good.

And from your son's perspective,

I would imagine that the openness that is surrounded in an authentic love will be more than enough.

Because as with all of us as human beings,

And hear me here,

What's the real struggle?

Right?

Because on the surface,

There's all these different things we think are the struggle,

Right?

Like,

What am I going to do with my life?

What about school?

What about what my friends think?

What about this partner that just broke up with me?

And on and on and on and on and on.

What's the real struggle?

I'm afraid I'm not enough.

I'm afraid that love might be lost.

I'm afraid of being afraid.

Something in us cries out that says,

Can I just be held in my confusion,

In my fear?

Can it just be okay that I feel as I do?

Can there be a love for what I am?

And I think in the parenting dynamic,

There's a profound opportunity to extend that space,

Even though sure,

Not perfect at it.

And we're growing,

We're learning to love well.

But I think that that's the fundamental opportunity for parents.

It's not so much to teach your child,

It's not so much to determine their path,

Not even so much to protect them from life.

But maybe more so,

There is that beautiful and special dynamic so that we can all learn to love well.

Because fundamentally,

Every human being is connected to life in a beautiful way,

To where there is guidance,

There is support,

There is direction.

But the question,

Are we rested in that space that's open to support?

And we can invite that for those we love.

We can invite them into that space by simply holding space in a beautiful and open way.

Jesse asks,

How did you come to this revelation about the vision of this beautiful life beyond one's obsessions?

It's great to see you live again.

Thanks for being here and your inspiring words and profound wisdom.

How did I come to this revelation about the vision of this beautiful life beyond one's obsession?

I'll tell you exactly how.

Through failure,

Through pain,

Through suffering,

Through life not going how I wanted it to go,

Through life seemingly ripping away everything that I was holding on to.

And all of this was life's invitation that says,

Bro,

Open your eyes,

See what I've already given you.

See that life isn't about what you're thinking it's about.

And this is what suffering teaches me,

Continues to teach me as I get lost in thinking that life is about something other than life being life.

And life being life includes the life of what I am,

Which is the sincerity of what I am,

Not the facade of who I want to be,

But the authenticity of what I am as a human being that's here to be human,

Right?

And recognizing that,

Oh my goodness,

It's okay.

It's okay to just be human,

Which is to be sincere,

To be authentic,

To feel what I feel.

It's okay.

In the embrace of that,

Oh my goodness,

What a relief.

What a relief that I can simply be as I am.

And in the amness of that,

Without the resistance,

Without the judgment,

Without the conflict,

There's a beautiful voice that speaks to me,

That guides me,

That gives me all sorts of beautiful things to share.

And then it's like,

Oh,

That's what I'm here to do.

I'm here to honor and celebrate life and then to share that with the world.

Okay,

Let's do that.

Thanks for that question,

Jesse.

Elsie asks,

What if you're a kid and you're afraid?

Well,

We're all afraid.

We're all afraid.

Being afraid is a profound pointer and teacher.

And you know,

What I would encourage is an absolute okayness with being afraid.

And the way of the world,

In its insecurity,

Is afraid of being afraid.

We think that if we're afraid,

Then it means we're doing it wrong.

If we're afraid,

It means we're less than.

When actually,

When you're afraid,

There's a profound opportunity to see beyond that fear.

And if you're afraid of being afraid,

You will reject being afraid,

Which means you're not open to the lesson in being afraid.

And so if you are a person,

Old or young,

Is there an opportunity to be open to being afraid and to investigate the fear?

What I find so beautiful about being afraid is inquiring about the deeper fear,

Because there's so many stories about what we're afraid of,

Afraid about this,

That,

And the other thing.

But I think there's a deeper invitation to connect with something more authentic about the fear.

And the deeper you go into that,

The more you'll discover that there's nothing to fear.

And we can't discover that there's nothing to fear unless we allow ourselves to be afraid and look at what we fear.

Allowing yourself to be afraid when you're afraid is a great act of self-love.

In the same way that a parent would allow their child to be afraid,

It's an embrace of their human.

It's a compassionate allowing for their human.

It's an understanding that it's okay to be afraid.

All right,

We've got about five minutes left,

And we're going to just exit with a very short guided meditation,

And then we will continue on in our day or our evening with much more space,

Much more gratitude,

Much more love.

So let's do that.

We are going to invite ourselves into the depth of this moment.

Let's take three deep but natural breaths,

And on the inhale,

We're going to invite life into our heart.

And on the exhale,

We are going to release any tension,

Fear,

And anxiety.

Let's do three deep breaths.

Let's just experience a profound gratitude for right now,

Letting go of the past,

Letting go of the future,

And recognize that in this very moment,

All is well.

Let us recognize that wellness.

Let us recognize that the monsters we imagine aren't really here right now.

There be gratitude for this.

The days we imagine that we're being rejected,

It's not here.

Everything we imagine that's missing,

And yet there is nothing missing.

There be gratitude.

Let's take three more deep breaths and really recognize the profound nature of this truth that beyond the noise,

Right now,

We're okay.

Let's really feel the depth of this reality and gently surrender the dream of something going wrong.

Let's take three deep breaths.

Thank you for this brief moment of meditating with me.

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Maybe it's ok, to just be alive. Maybe I'm ok, just as I am. What a relief! 🙏🏼👏🏼🌟