Beyond The Fantasy Of Love

Join us as we explore the question of discerning real love from fantasy. Discover the delicate balance between reality and imagination, and how to find wholeness within yourself. Tune in now and embark on this insightful journey.

Please note: This audio is ripped from a video.

Transcript

There's a great freedom that lets go of other people,

That lets go of the world.

In one way it says,

You know what world?

I don't need you to love me.

I don't need to try and get your love,

Which means I don't have to try and be what I think you want me to be.

I can just be myself.

And is that not a great act of self-love to allow yourself to be you?

Where you don't have to pretend to be something that you're not because you're afraid of not getting love from someone else?

How exhausting is a life lived trying to be what the world wants you to be?

My goodness,

Let's do it.

Welcome.

This is holding space so love can be seen.

Naturally,

What we will do here is hang out for about an hour and hold some space so that love can be seen.

I'm going to start with a little bit of silence,

Check in with the moment,

With presence.

And from that space,

I'm going to share some insight and wisdom about something that's on my heart to explore.

And then we can engage some Q&A if you have some questions.

And to wrap it up,

We'll do a quick,

Approximately five minute guided meditation.

And then in the spirit of love and play,

You can continue on in your day.

Does that sound awesome?

So much so.

Thank you for joining me live.

Thank you for joining me live.

Let's just make contact with the moment.

Allow ourselves to settle into some silence.

And then I will start sharing.

Halfway spontaneously,

Because I feel a little bit like I know what I'd like to explore.

Not sure how that's going to go,

But I got a topic in mind.

You know,

Quite honestly,

This part,

Or the past 60 seconds,

The silence,

It might be safe to say it's my favorite part.

Just to allow myself to be totally okay with not saying anything releases every ounce of expectation about having to say something.

And just letting the silence be the silence,

The stillness be the stillness.

Letting life be life as it is.

No determination to get somewhere.

Because it's from that silence that I can be myself.

That emptiness that I hear what wants to be said.

The topic on my heart for today that fits well with holding space so love can be seen is to explore the nature of love and also looking at our human fantasy of love.

And naturally,

Even traditionally,

As you explore the fantasy of love,

You recognize that the fantasy is not reality.

And in being able to see that,

That,

Oh,

This is my imagination,

And in many ways,

It doesn't reflect anything that is real or can be real.

But this doesn't mean that it's empty of value or that it cannot be enjoyed.

So I hope to speak a little bit about this so we might connect with a more sincere understanding about what love really is and discern the difference between the reality and then our conditioning about love and the fantasies we create,

Which when clung to,

Creates all manner of suffering and disappointment.

And naturally,

As a playful disclaimer,

I'm using silly words.

I'm not seriously trying to define anything by running my mouth.

This is a playful exercise of poetic expression that is simply a joy for me.

To explore the different ways I can attempt to articulate something that cannot be articulated,

Which leaves me open to this expansive landscape of colors and flavors to paint with.

Knowing ultimately that my painting of the sunset is not the sunset.

The reality of the sunset is so much more magnificent than my painting,

Than my painting,

But it's still fun to paint.

And if there's a deep resonance in you,

Then you can enjoy my painting.

While also knowing that it's not really the sunset,

It's a painting that we can both find to be beautiful.

And as we appreciate that beauty,

We invite beauty into our world.

That sounds awesome.

Love.

Oh my goodness,

Oh my goodness,

Oh my goodness.

From a traditional standpoint,

Maybe without any experience in self-inquiry or spiritual matters,

When we first hear the word love,

We have very specific images.

And I think most immediately those images go towards family that we love,

And then also towards significant others,

Partners,

Romantically.

But you know,

These are just a couple different flavors.

Yes,

And somebody said their dog.

Completely understandable.

But let's recognize that these ways in which we experience love,

They are flavors of love's expression,

Or ways that love can be experienced.

But in no way does that mean that that's the only way that love is experienced or expressed.

No.

Love exists in such a dynamic,

Fluid,

And alive sort of way.

It's so vast,

So everywhere,

That to put a word on it can only restrict its magnitude.

And so once again,

In the playful attempt to speak to it,

There is no defining it.

Maybe playfully in speaking to it,

It allows us to release our limitations about what it is,

Making room for it to grow and expand.

And we realize,

Oh wow,

Love is there,

And it's there,

And it's there.

It's in so many places that I didn't realize.

What is love?

I love how that question,

At least for me,

Invites a stillness.

And maybe a stillness that is beyond merely thinking about love.

But an invitation to investigate a deep sincerity that looks at the entirety of my human experience.

What is love?

And something I've mentioned many times before,

And I love looking in this direction,

What I see is that love is interwoven into the entirety of the human experience.

What I see is that love is interwoven into the entirety of the human experience.

And beyond what the human can comprehend,

I'd suggest love is interwoven into the fabric of everything.

If we look at our human experience and we investigate what we enjoy,

In that enjoyment you'll find some flavor,

You'll find some flavor of love.

See if in the things we enjoy,

There's a quality of presence where we are allowed to be as we are.

The beauty that we experience is almost like a beauty that embraces what is seen.

Even in looking throughout my human journey,

The lessons that have been taught to me,

The lessons that have proven to be the most profound and beneficial have ultimately been lessons in love.

Not just the couple different flavors,

But lessons that opened me up to release my judgments.

That helped me see beyond my fears.

Invited me to embrace more of life.

And in everything I searched for,

Everything I anxiously wanted,

If I unravel all the stories wrapped around them,

What I was looking to connect with was some quality of love.

Whether that was seeking permission to just relax,

Whether that was seeking to be seen or validated,

Or even if that was searching for someone to share my life with,

What was I looking to connect with?

Love.

What's hilarious is this could almost go as missed when we focus on all the stories.

Like I could say,

Oh,

I'm searching for a billion dollars.

And I can think that that's what it is,

Right?

The story of a billion dollars.

And then I ask,

But why?

Because I want to relax right now and know that all is well.

Oh,

So you're really seeking an internal experience of love.

You're really seeking an internal experience.

What is that internal experience?

And after it's unraveled,

The realization is so that I can just be here right now and know that I'm okay,

Which includes that I'm enough,

That I'm worthy,

That I'm held,

Embraced,

Loved.

You see this,

Yeah?

Love in some form or fashion is interwoven into everything that you crave.

Likewise,

Equally important,

Love is interwoven into everything you're afraid of.

The fear is a fear of love's loss.

A fear that love might not be there.

A fear that what you love doesn't love you back.

And again,

We can tell stories about what we're afraid of,

But what is it underneath that story?

This is so incredibly beautiful.

The things we enjoy as human beings,

The things we enjoy as human beings,

Especially in our shared experience together,

Are reflective,

Are evidence of love's existence.

It's everywhere.

And that which brings us pain,

That which appears to break the heart is what seems,

And I say that intentionally,

Seems like love's loss.

Like love's loss.

What I'd like to suggest though,

In a very direct way,

The love that is real cannot be lost.

Because the love that is real is everywhere.

Naturally,

When you think love comes in only one particular flavor,

And that flavor changes,

As all things do,

It might appear like love is lost.

But that's only clinging to a particular flavor,

Assuming that that's what love is.

Assuming that that's what love is,

Rather than recognizing that was just love's current season.

Appearing this way for a while and then appearing that way for a while.

Changing,

Expanding,

Exploring all the different spaces in life.

And I think in a playfully direct way,

This speaks to the misunderstanding of love that gives rise to fantasies about love.

That gives rise to our if only about love.

What is a fantasy of love?

Of love.

Is it something other than longing or wanting to capture a particular flavor of love?

Maybe it doesn't have to go that far,

Because sure,

As a fantasy,

We can paint a beautiful picture of a particular flavor or quality of love.

Which can be a beautiful thing.

But there is a disaster that awaits when you feel like that fantasy is the solution to what might appear to be a lack of love right now.

Naturally,

And worth mentioning,

The more you think the fantasy of love is the solution to a love not seen now,

Then the more there is a fear and pain about the inability to capture the fantasy.

And naturally,

As human beings with love being intertwined,

There is a very understandable draw to fantasy.

Draw to fantasize about love,

Because it's the fundamental craving in some form.

That's what we're here looking for,

Is love.

And naturally,

If you don't see it here and now,

You're going to look for it in the imagination.

And naturally,

In the imagination,

It's going to be imagined in past or future,

Because it's not looking here and now.

And we find evidence of this imagination in fantasy all throughout our culture and society.

And I feel in a little bit of a way,

There's a playful,

Unintentional brainwashing about what love is.

You know,

It's kind of funny,

And I guess all of us have this little detour.

Now,

You can hear me here gently and playfully.

When a movie studio makes a movie,

They want to make money.

And the way that a movie studio makes money is they want to make money in a way that's not just about the movie.

It's about the movie.

And the way that a movie studio makes money is you make a movie that people will want to pay to see.

And so it's like,

Okay,

Well,

What are people looking for?

Love.

Okay,

Let's see if we can tell an awesome story about love that gives them some semblance of hope in love.

And so they tell a fantastic story.

And as you observe this movie,

It presses all the right buttons.

There are stories of wholeness.

There are stories of being accepted.

There are stories of happily ever after,

Which is just another way of saying all is well forever and ever.

You see,

It presses all the right buttons.

That's beautiful.

But what is it pointing to?

But what is it pointing to?

Is it pointing to that the truth of love is in this future image?

Or is it pointing to love is real?

And it's what you crave.

You see how you can confuse the two?

You can recognize that,

Oh,

Yes,

Love.

And then you think the love is in the image,

In the story.

So you say,

Oh,

I got to get the story.

If I have the story,

Then I'll have the love.

If only this,

If only that,

Then I could get the love.

Well,

Let me ask you,

How's that going?

How's that going?

We all already know the answer.

We chase the image and we appear to capture it maybe.

And we say,

What the hell?

Where's the love?

And again,

This comes in all different forms.

It can come in capturing a relationship.

It can come in capturing a promotion.

It can come in capturing a big house.

And we can chase all these things,

Exhausting ourselves.

And then we get them and we say,

This isn't what I thought.

This didn't give me what I thought it was going to give me.

Well,

Because what you crave isn't in that something.

That's not where it comes from.

Where does it come from?

This is the spiritual magic show about it all.

It comes from you.

If love is interwoven in everything,

If it is the foundation,

The fabric that holds it all together,

That includes you.

Right?

It's like if love is interwoven into everything,

That's not everything and not you.

It's saying that what you are is love.

Which is also like saying what you are is the wholeness,

Is the completion.

Is that which is already done,

Is what you're looking for.

So brilliant it is that we have the opportunity to run around this earth in human form and completely exhaust ourselves looking for love in all the wrong places.

That's really quite beautiful.

And we can say it's not there and it's not there and it's not there.

I definitely looked over here five or six times and it's not there.

We say,

My goodness,

Where is it?

And then you get still.

And maybe something inside says,

Oh my god.

And it's been here the whole time.

This love I've been looking for has already been inside of me waiting to be seen from behind my eyes.

It's not a question of finding love as if it's missing.

It's a question of seeing love.

Which implies it's already here.

And that's the truth.

You don't find love.

That implies it's not here.

It implies it's in the future.

What is the future other than your fantasy of the future?

What is the future other than your imagination?

And if love is real,

Love is not contained in the unreal,

Which is your imagination.

If love is real,

Then it's where life is real.

And life is real right now.

This is reality here now.

Everything else beyond here and now is imagination.

And to really see this,

To really see this,

And to really see this,

And granted I understand it could be difficult to see,

But to really see this invites an incredible stillness,

A surrendering of the fantasy,

Inviting an openness to see it now,

Which also invites a letting go of what you think it is,

A letting go of some sort of label or idea or construct that says it has to be this way or it has to be that way.

Maybe it's just beyond all of those conditions.

You know what's beautiful about love?

When you see love,

You feel love.

When you see beauty,

You feel beauty.

That's extraordinary.

Beauty.

That's extraordinary.

Because it shows you that the love you see is the love you are.

You're not feeling something out there.

You're feeling what is within.

In the same way that if I get captured by a sunset and I say,

My God,

You're beautiful,

I'm feeling that beauty.

Am I feeling a beauty out there?

Or am I feeling a beauty within what I am?

Maybe it's more accurate to say to the sunset,

My God,

We are beautiful.

I like that.

And just as easily,

One can be standing,

Observing the sunset,

And be so lost in the mind's noise and chaos that they don't see the beauty at all.

Of course,

There's no presence.

There's no stillness of heart and mind.

There's just a determination to get away from yesterday's imagination and fearful future projections.

And fearful future projections.

All of which makes the present moment seem dangerous.

I can't just be.

But when we surrender all that noise and just come home to reality,

We start to recognize a magic that's already here.

A miracle already happening.

A gift already given.

And we realize once again,

To be alive is enough.

My goodness.

There's so many playful disasters.

Understandable disasters and confusions.

I'm not suggesting that these misunderstandings and confusions shouldn't be there.

But what I am suggesting is that there is an opportunity to see beyond them.

Because these assumptions that the love you crave is somewhere out there.

Sets us up for a dramatic disappointment.

One of these disappointments is seeing how you've exhausted yourself chasing nothing.

Only to realize that you're not chasing anything.

It was never over there.

And we ask,

What have I been doing?

And as much as this is a disappointment,

It's also a profound opportunity to finally start living.

And to stop blaming other people in the world for withholding the one thing you crave.

Because they don't have it.

Isn't that interesting?

And maybe you got to dig into that a little bit,

But that's what we do as human beings is we blame other people for not giving us the love that we crave.

As if they could actually give it to you.

As if the love was outside of you.

Because we don't see the love that we are,

We ask the world to give it to you.

How's that going?

And when you realize that the world doesn't have it and what you are is an infinite supply of love,

It's a completely different dynamic of operating in the world.

Where you can just let people be people and not need them to give you love.

Need them to give you love.

Because you see that it's impossible.

Granted,

Yes,

From a human standpoint it can be helpful to experience what appears to be other people's love.

But that's also.

.

.

What's an appropriate way to say this?

A limited form of nutrition.

You can't sustain on that.

And if you try to,

You'll just become dependent and never satisfied.

And always afraid that it might not be there.

Do we notice this?

Right?

Like this is the comedy about clinging to a fantasy about love.

Now hear me here and I'll speak a little bit slowly.

So there's a fantasy of love that says,

If only this other person loved me,

Then I could relax,

Then I would be whole.

Then I would be whole,

Then I would be complete.

Okay,

Let's just imagine that that's the fantasy.

Now,

Let's say you encounter a moment where it looks like you got that.

It looks like this other person loves you and you go,

I got it.

All is well.

How long does it take before you start being afraid that they might not love you tomorrow?

Or how long does it take before you start being afraid that they might leave you?

They might not stick around.

So now this thing that you think you captured,

Within a matter of moments,

You're afraid of losing.

And in your fear of losing it,

How much can you actually enjoy it?

Not much.

Because you're too busy trying to make sure you don't lose it.

This is a massive misunderstanding about love and being human,

Where we think love is an object that you acquire.

And then we turn other people into objects and accessories to help us hide from the lack of love that we extend to ourselves.

And then when one recognizes the profound depth of love that is within what they are,

You see that it cannot be taken.

It cannot leave.

At best,

You can simply forget,

But that's okay too.

Because it's still there,

Even if you forget.

It's not that big of a deal.

No one can take it.

It can't be lost.

The love is with you forever.

And in recognizing that,

There's a great freedom that lets go of other people.

That lets go of the world.

In one way,

It says,

You know what world?

I don't need you to love me.

I don't need to try and get your love.

Which means I don't have to try and be what I think you want me to be.

I can just be myself.

How about that?

And is that not a great act of self-love to allow yourself to be you?

Right?

Where you don't have to pretend to be something that you're not,

Because you're afraid of not getting love from someone else?

How exhausting is a life lived trying to be what the world wants you to be?

It's exhausting,

I know.

I've tried.

Drove me absolutely bonkers.

And I was like,

Wait,

This isn't working.

Is this not what we crave ultimately in some way?

I wish I could just be myself.

I wish I could just be myself.

I wish I could just be myself.

I wish I could just be myself.

I wish I could just be myself.

I wish I could just be myself.

I wish I could just be myself.

I wish I could just be myself.

I wish I could just be myself.

I wish I could just be myself.

I wish I could just be myself.

I wish I could just be myself.

I wish I could just be myself.

I wish I could just be myself.

I wish I could just be myself.

I wish I could just be myself.

I wish I could just be myself.

I wish I could just be myself.

I wish I could just be myself.

I wish I could just be myself.

I wish I could just be myself.

I wish I could just be myself.

I wish I could just be myself.

I wish I could just be myself.

I wish I could just be myself.

I wish I could just be myself.

I wish I could just be myself.

I wish I could just be myself.

I wish I could just be myself.

I wish I could just be myself.

I wish I could just be myself.

I wish I could just be myself.

I wish I could just be myself.

I wish I could just be myself.

I wish I could just be myself.

That's interesting.

What's my take on the love for the planet?

I can't say that I totally understand what your question is.

Maybe I can also ask,

What's my take on love for others?

What's my take on love for anything?

You know what?

Here's something that's interesting.

When I express my love for another human being,

Like I have some friends that oh my god,

I love deeply.

When I say that I love you,

What I'm really saying is it's such an honor to share this love within what I am in your direction.

I'm so grateful for what you are that allows me to experience this flavor and depth of love for what I am.

And that I get to share it with you.

What I'm not saying is I love you as you are,

Please don't change.

What I'm not saying is I love you,

Please love me.

The love isn't personal in that way.

Likewise,

When somebody tells me hey tiger,

I love you,

I know it's not really about me.

They're sharing the love that they see in their own experience.

And this also speaks to another profound misunderstanding in us humans is we want love to be personal,

Which is also saying we want it to be conditional.

And it's not.

And that's a real bummer when we're stuck in that confusion with wanting love to be personal.

Because it's not about who you think you are,

It's about the whole thing.

Love is about everything.

It's about all.

Shared equally.

Yes,

We can experience different flavors that come and go in our shared human experiences.

But the love is not personal in the same way that when somebody says to me I like you,

They're simply saying I like how I see you.

Right?

They're liking their own experience of their seeing.

And likewise,

If I do something that they don't like,

They can say I don't like you anymore,

Which is like saying I don't like how I see you.

You see,

Part of the profound nature of being a human being that is so missed in our traditional ways of interpreting is we assume that we are seeing something out there separate from what we are.

Right?

We're seeing separation.

We say there's me and then there's that out there and I'm seeing that thing out there.

Actually,

I would suggest you're not seeing that thing out there,

You're seeing how you see that thing out there.

Right?

For example,

The weather.

If it's raining outside and I'm irritated,

I can say I'm irritated because of the weather.

No,

You're irritated because of how you see the weather.

The weather does not have the power to irritate you.

Right?

Because your emotional response isn't responding to what's happening,

It's responding to how you're seeing.

There's nothing out there that has the power to give you an emotional response that is only in response to how you perceive.

And so if I'm irritated by the weather and I think it's the weather,

I say whoops,

Sorry about that weather.

I just blamed you for my own story.

You can't give me that story.

And here's the thing,

In the confusion,

In actually believing that,

Then I withhold love from the weather.

Right?

Oh my god,

This opens up a whole other conversation about all the lack of love that we experience.

Right?

It's like if you blame the weather,

There's a lack of love that says,

Weather,

You're irritating me,

I don't like you,

I'm going to withhold love from you.

Right?

Because I'm disturbed.

But when I see that I'm disturbed because of how I see the weather,

I now see that the weather is innocent.

The weather didn't disturb me.

And I say,

Oh my goodness,

I'm sorry weather,

It's not you.

You're free to be the weather.

In fact,

It's important that the weather is the weather,

So that life can be life.

And if I'm disturbed,

I'm the one that's confused.

There's a brilliant and inherent freedom in that.

In recognizing that as I walk through this life,

What is out there cannot disturb me.

And if it appears so,

It's an opportunity for me to clarify how I see.

And as it's clarified,

Then more love is seen.

And this is the nature of seeing what's true.

As you see more of what's true,

Which is more of what's real,

There is a natural and automatic byproduct of love's expansion.

You see more love.

This is why,

As far as I'm concerned,

This discovery is the most important thing.

To clarify seeing.

To heal perception.

To see what's true.

And in doing so,

You'll recognize that what you crave is an abundant supply waiting to be seen from behind your eyes.

Oh my goodness.

Jane says,

I can see I have been grieving for a life I feel I should have.

Welcome to being human.

For the lost love of this expected life.

Not a question,

Just saying you've made me see this.

Yeah.

And notice in that perception,

You compare yourself with a photoshopped image.

You compare yourself with something that's not real.

You compare the reality with fantasy.

And in that,

You don't even see clearly the reality.

And to see the reality,

You will see you are where you are,

And that's the only place you can be.

You are where you are,

And being where you are is the perfect opportunity for love to expand.

If you reject where you are,

Then you're not open to see the opportunity.

Rejecting where you are is like saying there's no opportunity here.

And if you say there's no opportunity here,

Guess what?

You won't see an opportunity here.

You won't even look.

My goodness.

It's amazing.

Leah says,

I'm in love with a man that lives overseas.

We have loved each other over.

.

.

We have loved each other for 30 years,

And have finally figured out that we are soulmates.

Our current circumstances preclude us from being together.

How do I navigate these turbulent times?

Let me say something super playfully,

And I'm not talking to you,

I'm talking to me.

Whenever I think I've figured something out,

I eventually find out that I didn't.

And so,

I invite a caution in assuming that I figured something out as it relates to what something is or is not.

Especially if what I figured out implies it will be that way in the future.

Right?

Like I figured out the future.

Good luck with that.

I have figured out what it seems like right now,

And that could change.

And I don't know beyond this moment.

And what I seem to have figured out now doesn't say anything about two days from now because I might die tomorrow.

Again,

It speaks to the fantasy.

If there's anything figured out that reaches into the future,

It's fantasy.

And not wrong,

Not bad,

But discern the difference.

And this is also what makes it turbulent,

I would assume.

Turbulent because it's inherently unknown.

And if you want that which is unknown to be known,

It's like swimming upstream.

It's fighting the unknown.

Rather than just letting it be unknown and realizing you're whole and complete without the future being this way or that way.

And like for me,

If I was in that circumstance,

And again not to say one should see how I see,

But for me it would just be cool.

That okay,

This is what it seems like.

That's cool.

What does that mean about tomorrow?

I don't know.

Let's find out.

And then in that there's no anxiety that I needed to be this way,

I wanted to be this way,

It should be this way,

It should be that way.

There's none of that because I don't know.

And so let's just let it be what it is.

And if we clearly enjoy each other now,

Then let's enjoy each other now.

And I can release you from any future obligation that determines that I know how you should live your life.

Or I know how you should or shouldn't be in a way that makes me be able to hide behind this fantasy.

And we do that.

We do that with relationship,

Right?

We playfully,

And again we're not judging ourselves,

We're just looking at how adorably insane we are as humans.

But we put other people in our fantasy for the future and then we say,

Okay,

You are now in my fantasy,

So don't fuck it up.

Right?

Because this fantasy is my image of wholeness.

And if I can get to that fantasy,

Then it means I will be whole and complete.

Right?

So now you're a part of that.

And this is important,

Right?

My wholeness and worth and my value is all wrapped up in this fantasy.

So,

Be how I want you to be,

So I get what I want.

And this all stems from the assumption that I'm not whole and complete now,

Which is saying I simply don't see myself.

I don't see what's real and true now.

I'm looking for it in the future because I've been conditioned to believe that the prize in life is in the future.

That the prize in life is somehow getting control over life and making it look how I want it to look.

That is not a prize that's being a tyrant.

That is,

And hear me gently because I'm just using words,

That is trying to be God rather than letting God be God.

And this is what we do as human beings.

Rachel asks me,

What are your thoughts on divorce in marriage?

Don't have much thoughts about that.

Not at all.

Especially as it pertains to what other people do with their life.

I have zero interest in being an authority in other people's lives and telling them what they should or shouldn't do in their marriage.

What they should or shouldn't do in their exploration.

To share some thoughts,

People get married for beautiful reasons and crazy reasons.

And so if you get married for crazy reasons and it doesn't work out,

That's understandable.

If you get married for beautiful reasons and things change,

Which they do,

That's understandable.

If you stay together,

Great.

If you don't,

Great.

There's love to be seen all around.

Right?

You can get divorced in love and in fear.

In beauty and in violence.

It's like,

It's not about what you do or what you don't do.

It's about what you bring to the table.

What energy are you bringing into what you do?

Are you bringing love,

Truth and beauty?

Or are you bringing fear,

Anxiety,

Hatred and violence?

What are you bringing?

Jamie asked,

How do you heal the perception of love?

That's what we're doing right now.

You show up.

It's a good way to start.

It's a willingness to see your own confusion.

And most people,

They're not willing.

They're too scared to have these walls collapse.

We build up these preconceived notions and ideas that we hide behind,

That we build our identity on,

And we are afraid that they would collapse.

It's a willingness and even inviting yourself to get still and asking,

You know what?

Like as it relates to prayer,

Let's look at this for a second.

And again,

I'm sharing what I see.

You're free to see what you see.

I have one prayer.

It's,

Dear God,

Help me see what's true.

You know what my prayer is not?

Dear God,

Help me get what I want.

There is a profound difference.

The conditioning in being human is the idea that getting what you want will somehow make you whole and complete,

Which implies that you're not whole and complete now in reality,

Which makes obvious you don't see the truth of what you are.

In seeing the truth of what you are,

That you're whole and complete now,

There's not much to want as it relates to any anxiety that's looking for wholeness.

Wants simply turn into things that I would enjoy,

But I don't need them.

A question comes in,

What about feeling responsibility for my kids?

That leaves a pain of not being able to be God.

Yeah.

What about feeling responsibility for my kids?

Let me start by saying this,

And it's something that I say a lot.

Without creating expectations or shoulds and should nots,

But as a matter of principle,

From what I see in my own human experience,

If I am experiencing emotional disturbance,

I am not seeing things clearly.

And if I am experiencing and part of not seeing things clearly is a lot of preconceived notions about life and how to live and about things that we call responsibility,

Which often is just a subtle form of creative ways to blame yourself.

And then also there's the misunderstanding of what is mine and what I am simply holding space for.

Because when something is believed or defined as mine,

It gives birth to a lot of fears and misunderstandings,

As opposed to holding space for,

Which allows that something you're holding space for to have their own experience.

And so as it relates to this question,

I would invite a investigation into the difference between what I actually know and what I think I know.

Right?

And we can look at this as it relates to what do I think I know is best for my kids?

What do I actually know?

And what you will find is there is a lot of confusing the two.

Where I think that what I think I know is what I really know.

And so I hold on to what I think I know as some empirical truth,

Rather than releasing what I think I know and returning to a place of openness that says I don't really know.

I don't know what's best.

I don't know what you should or shouldn't do.

All I really know is that I love you.

There's a beauty of in this context,

Giving your child back to life.

Maybe in some ways recognizing that it's not yours.

Or they are not yours.

But rather they're here to have their experience.

And your role is one of holding space to offer support and guidance.

But only to the degree of deep sincerity about what you know and what you don't know.

I think you'll find it's a beautiful and beautiful I think you'll find a great,

Great relief in that.

And then also it can become much more playful than serious.

Potentially.

Luis follows up,

Says,

Thank you.

I can apply what you're what you've said to climate.

Yeah,

Thinking that it should be a certain way as fantasy preventing me from seeing and enjoying what's here now.

Exactly.

Is activism trying to be God?

Do you think there's certainly a lot of that going on.

But again,

Activism can come from a place of love or can come from a place of fear.

And wherever it comes from is what you're putting into the world.

And so we need to do a very quick meditation and in this thing because I have a meeting I have to do.

But other than that,

Before we start this,

Thank you so much for your donations and support.

Other ways to support this sharing is to tell your friends.

Let's do that.

Right.

Let's keep doing these.

I have a bunch scheduled for this week.

And then.

Yeah,

I think after the holidays,

We'll just keep going.

We'll see.

Thank you for your donations.

If you're donating,

Send me a DM.

Maybe you got a special little gift for you.

Let's do a meditation.

Here we are.

Right.

Now.

Look at this.

Here.

Now.

Regardless of the noise going on around you.

Regardless of the thoughts that come and go.

Here.

Right now.

There's a stillness.

There is a presence that beats your your heart.

There is a presence breathing you.

In this moment.

Right now.

All is well.

Come back to that wellness.

See that this wellness is what's true.

Let this wellness breathe through you.

Deep breaths.

You are here now.

You're not in the last week.

You're not in five years from now.

You're here now.

Let's honor the life we've been given.

The life that's happening now.

Let's celebrate the gift we've been given.

Which is the aliveness of here.

Now.

Let our hearts rejoice for being alive now.

Thank you for joining me on this brief meditative journey.

Cheers.

Reviews

So good 💜 the second time I listened I took notes. Thank you for sharing so much wisdom.

Hi tiger thanks for giving me the opportunity to take some time to delve deeper into who I am
Namaste 🙏

Another insightful talk and lovely short meditation 🙏🏼💚

So many important and necessary realizations. Thank you Tiger for every word of this talk.