Practicing Boundless Self-Compassion

Thomas pays tribute to the recently deceased dharma master, Dr. Daniel Brown. Brown’s work is a superb example of Eastern practice meeting the psychological sophistication of the West. In this meditation, taste what it means to re-parent the self, what it means to become the Mother of all beings.

Transcript

I'd invite you to get really settled here.

Find a place where you can practice without interruption,

Without distraction.

Sit in a position that's comfortable,

Where you can be focused for the next 15 minutes or so.

And once you've settled in a little bit,

I want you to call up an ideal parent figure.

Use your imagination with this.

It can be an enhanced version of your own parents.

And this is no disrespect to any of our parents,

As humans were all imperfect by definition.

So that the meditation is to idealize a parent figure,

Not to take anything away from those who generously raised us.

Perhaps it's an enhanced,

Idealized version of the parents you have.

Perhaps it's more than a human being,

It's more like a God,

A heavenly mother,

Father,

Parent,

Being,

Angel,

Archetype,

A Bodhisattva,

A Deva,

A historical saint or sage,

Whom you never knew,

But whose being inspires you.

You feel a kinship with them,

A sense of parental guidance.

Don't worry about your choice.

It doesn't have to be perfect.

Just call in the presence of an idealized parent.

Imagine yourself at a young age,

A very young age,

Being in their presence and feeling completely safe.

You know this parent is fiercely protective of you.

They would do anything for your physical safety.

When they're in the room,

When they're near you,

You can relax.

The body just softens.

Let yourself take it in deeply.

Feel the body's response to this caregiver's presence.

Go ahead and let that go.

Notice the effect the visualization had on your mind,

Your body,

Your heart.

Next,

Again,

Imagining yourself as a very young child,

However young you want,

Feeling felt,

Feeling known.

This caregiver is completely attuned to you.

They're fascinated by your every movement,

What you're toddling around in the house,

What you're exploring in nature.

They're just totally undistracted and tuned into not only your outward movements,

But your inner reality,

Your emotions,

Your thoughts.

You feel that you're felt.

You know that you're known.

You feel this deep companionship,

The opposite of loneliness.

Now go ahead and let that go.

Call up another scene from early childhood where you were really upset.

Someone said something mean to you.

You took a hard fall.

Whatever it was,

You were totally upset.

This caregiver was right there,

Right there to pick you up,

To soothe you,

To reassure you that it was going to be okay.

Everything's going to be okay.

This world hits hard,

But you're strong.

You're resilient.

You can recover.

You can do hard things.

Just feel their presence.

Feel their love.

Feel the way they soothe you.

Go ahead and let go of that visualization and notice the effect it has on the body,

The heart,

The mind,

On awareness.

Call up another scene from early in life when you're just starting to explore who you were,

Getting interested in what you were interested in.

Pursue the things that you loved.

It was art.

It was athletics.

It was music.

It was acting.

It was mathematics.

It was whatever it was.

You're just starting to explore the world and you feel how supportive this ideal parent is,

This caregiver.

They just move with this flow,

This momentum.

They're excited about what you're exploring.

They trust you.

They have confidence that you can go out in the world and explore and make mistakes and fall down and suffer setbacks,

But that's all part of it.

They have total confidence in you that you can become who you were meant to become.

And as they do this all the while,

They're expressing absolute delight in you.

Just your being,

Not even what you do,

But just your very being is a delight to them.

You're the best thing that ever happened to them.

And you can feel it when you look in their faces,

When you look in their eyes.

You can feel at the deepest level that you're worthy and loved,

Cherished through and through.

Go ahead and let this scene dissolve and notice the impact on your body,

Heart,

Mind,

Spirit.

Call up another experience from early in life where you needed something.

You weren't getting something that you often didn't get,

And it brought up a very particular emotion in you,

A particular disturbance that's very familiar to you.

You grew up feeling this way,

Like you really needed something that you never got.

And now,

Right now,

This idealized parent,

This perfect caregiver comes and they give you exactly what you need right in the moment you need it.

Feel what that nourishment is like.

Feel what it's like to have everything you need provided for you,

Given by this perfect caregiver.

Feel the relief.

Feel the relaxation.

You can let this scene dissolve.

Notice the effect this visualization has had on you,

Your whole being.

And now,

Imagine that you yourself have children.

If you do have children,

Let them be present in your heart and your awareness.

And if you don't have children,

Imagine that you do,

Because really,

We all do.

And feel the way that you are fiercely protective of this child.

These children do anything to protect them from danger.

Feel your natural interest,

Not just interest,

But fascination in them,

Everything they do,

Every expression on their face,

Every word their new mouths form,

Not just their behavior,

But their inner life,

Their feelings,

Their thoughts,

Their curiosities,

Their fears,

Their anxieties,

All of them you're completely attuned to.

You're one with this little being,

So compassionately embracing of their whole being.

When the child is upset,

Feel the way you soothe them.

You know when they're upset.

You know the signs.

They're frustrated.

They're angry.

They're sad.

They're confused.

And you come to them,

And you come to them,

And you know right where it hurts.

You comfort them and tell them it's going to be okay.

Feel the uniqueness of this child,

These children,

Feel their uniqueness.

And feel the wonder of it,

That your only job is to help them become who they're meant to become,

To support them in this mysterious unfolding of their unique lives.

You're a champion of their self-development,

And they know it,

And they love it.

They love having you in their corner,

Their advocate,

All in the delight.

They just know by the look on your face and your eye,

A feeling in your heart,

Just by their being alive,

You bring them the deepest joy.

They don't have to earn it.

They don't have to do something for it.

Their existence is just a complete delight to you.

Stay with this.

Stay with this meditation.

Open up your awareness to all of the people you've crossed paths with today.

As you move about the village,

As you move about town,

The city,

All the people in your field of awareness,

And imagine that you are their idealized parent figure.

You are the caregiver who cherishes them absolutely.

The same love you gave and give to your child,

You offer freely to each person passing through your field.

Feel this intuition that absolutely every being is worthy of dignity,

Shares a common humanity with you,

That they're becoming who they're meant to become,

But they're suffering setbacks and needing soothing along the way.

Feel the way at the deepest level every being is really a being of absolute worth.

It brings us total delight just to be aware of.

Bring these same qualities of boundless compassion to any person you've had significant difficulties with in this lifetime,

Anybody who comes to mind.

Bring this heart of boundless compassion to this relationship and hold them in the same way you hold the child,

Fiercely protective of them,

Attuned to them and caring about their behavior and their inner world.

Soothing when they need to be soothed,

Champion of their development,

Who they're capable of becoming,

Expressing delight all along the way.

Direct the power,

Fierce power of your compassion of this person that you've struggled with and see clearly that at their core they are the same innocent child.

They too are an innocent child who's been wounded,

Who's been hurt,

Who acts out when they don't get what they need.

But right now you can give them that with your love,

With your unconditional love.

You can be that for them and help them heal.

Open up your awareness now to an interconnected humanity,

The sea of beings,

And feel that your love is not diminished with all of these demands upon you to love,

But the more you love,

The more you have to love,

The more you use this love,

The more there is.

It's inexhaustible,

A sea of humanity completely immersed,

Soaked through by the sea of compassion.

You,

The mother of all beings,

The mother of all Buddhas,

The mother of all Christs,

Have the power to raise up humanity with the love in your heart,

Your caring awareness,

The light of your being.

Feel yourself at once giving this and receiving it.

It's one and the same movement.

At this level of being,

Absolute love,

Big mind,

Big heart,

There is no being who's left behind,

No being who could be left behind.

It's not in your nature,

To leave behind a single soul.

Feel how radically loving you are in this natural state.

Go ahead and let that go.

Let the meditation go,

The visualization go,

And just take a moment to rest in yourself.

Reviews

I needed a reminder of the heartwarming idea of loving Heavenly parents. This is a very healing meditation. Thank you so much.

Beyond Words 💜🙏💜 provoking… confronting.. and yet significant steps towards inner peace, realisation and LOVE xxx my oh my 🙏🙏🙏