Welcome to Stoic Snippets,
The track that is short in time but not in depth.
The founder of Stoicism,
Xenu,
Had somewhat of an unusual appearance.
He had stubby legs and walked with a limp.
His teacher,
Crades,
Realised that he was self-conscious of this ailment and that he knew if Xenu was ever going to be a man with hopes of debating,
Teaching or being a thought leader as a philosopher then he couldn't be self-conscious,
He couldn't worry about what others thought of him or he would never dare speak his mind.
So he came up with a plan.
He ordered Xenu to walk through the streets of Athens with a cauldron of soup,
An unusual thing that would draw the attention of a crowd.
But Xenu found a workaround and so when Crades ordered him to do this he obliged but he took the back roads and he hid as much as possible,
Scuttling about in the shadows.
Crades was not pleased because this was not the point and so when Xenu made a dash for it,
He grabbed his staff and smashed the cauldron,
Spilling the soup on Xenu and attracting all the eyes of the busy marketplace.
Xenu was mortified and instantly he dropped the soup and went running for cover.
And as he ran away he could hear the sound of Crades saying,
Where are you going my friend?
Don't you realize nothing has happened to you?
This is a great example of how the objective reality does not always match with our subjective reality.
It's right there in the phrase,
Don't you realize nothing has happened to you?
Now Xenu felt that he was being ridiculed,
Judged and his social status was forever damaged.
The thoughts of what others thought of him plagued him.
He held tight to the vision of people staring at him,
Laughing at him and he feared what it all meant.
The irony is that by running away he wasn't able to see how quickly the people in the marketplace returned to their daily activities just after he had dropped his soup.
They went back to their busy lives because they all had their own lives going on and someone dropping their soup wasn't the biggest deal of the day.
You see objective reality exists but often our subjective reality has a far greater bearing on our lives.
Of course there is much of objective reality that we cannot control but the subjective reality is in our hands.
That is to say we can't control everything that goes on in the world but we can control to some degree at least what goes on in our internal world.
I've done plenty of socially embarrassing things in my life.
Sometimes I was like Xenu running away and dying of shame and other times I was like Kreates knowing that nothing has actually happened.
Now there are no prizes for guessing which one made me feel better in the end but it can be hard.
It can be hard to be like Kreates and not like Xenu in this situation.
One of the best things you can realize though is that no one cares about you quite as much as you do in the nicest possible way.
Everyone has their lives and they quickly move on to the next thing no matter how big your social faux pas is.
You need to remember this not just when something happens to you but when you are wanting to do something.
Too many dreams of people are dashed by the fears of what others will think of them.
Not what they will think forever by the way,
Just what they may think in that moment.
So when you want to put yourself out there,
You want to start that new business,
You want to start posting a bit more,
You want to tell people what you're interested in,
You may feel like this preemptive shame and this in itself is a shame.
Don't let your dreams be dashed by what you imagine others will be thinking of you.
For one it doesn't matter much what they think of you and two they won't be thinking of very long.
As Epictetus reminds us,
We suffer way more in imagination than in reality.
Don't poison your imagination with fear,
Keep it pure for your dreams.
See you soon.
By the way if you enjoyed this be sure to check out my courses on stoicism and excitingly my first ever retreat that's hosted here through InsightTimer.
This is going to be an in-person retreat in a beautiful location.
I've got a few lined up,
Sri Lanka's first but we've got some more too.
I'd love you to come with me and if you're interested in that go check it out on my profile or DM me in the InsightTimer.
Speak to you soon.
