Become Your Own Best Friend

Life is all about relationships, but how is yours with yourself? No doubt you look after others, but do you often neglect yourself? In this meditation I show you how you can begin to look after past, present and future you.

Transcript

Get yourself into a nice comfortable seat. This one I want you to have a nice tall posture, Relaxed shoulders. Think proud regal chest, Tall elegant neck. Take a deep breath in and as you exhale let those eyes close. Find a calm cycle of breath coming in and going out with ease. This is the base from which we're going to work today. Take a time just to really get comfortable, Really settle in. And while you do, I just want to explain today's session a bit more. Life is all about relationships, But how is yours with yourself? I mean we all know the importance of getting on with others, We know that full well, But we often neglect ourselves. In this meditation I want to show you how you can begin to look after the past, Present and future you. This is inspired by the great Stoic Seneca. He said it was a great improvement to become a friend of yourself because such a person will never be alone and will be a friend to all. And what he's alluding to here is that how we treat others is often a reflection of how we treat ourselves. So being a friend to ourself will help us be a better friend to others. But being a friend to yourself is a strange concept because it requires you to see yourself as separate from yourself. Weird, I know. But you are at least three people, The past, Present and future you. So let's address each one of these versions of you. From this base, Calm place, I want you to begin thinking about the past version of you and in particular the elements you can't forget. The shameful parts, The guilty parts, The less than impressive parts, The cringe-worthy parts. And don't worry, No one else can see those moments right now, They're just in your head. But it's strange how they still impact you nonetheless. Now I want you to simply take note of these incidents that live in your past and haunt you from there. Note how you could have done better in one of those situations. Don't overthink it, Just come up with a solution. I could have been nicer to so-and-so. And once you have come up with that answer, I want you to forgive yourself. Simple as that. Forgive yourself and move on. That was you and now that you know what you should do instead, It is no longer you. So there's no benefit in remembering this thing. You can let it go with the next exhale. You can do this for another part of your past now, Choosing another moment where you wish you had done better. And just note how it makes you feel, What sensations arise in your body as you relive that experience. Consider how you could have done better and then move on. Literally I want you to forgive and forget. Each inhale think forgiveness and each exhale allow yourself to forget. It's like you're flushing out these negative emotions with each cycle of breath, Releasing that anchor of the past and offloading that burden, Freeing yourself from the trappings of the past. All right, Go to work. Let's bring your attention to the present you, The one that's sitting there right now listening to me. Well, You better be listening to me. Become aware of what this present version of yourself can see behind those eyelids. Maybe flickers of light, Maybe pure darkness, But just become aware. Then turn your attention to what the present you can hear. My voice, The music, Maybe even some ambient sound. How about some things that you can feel right here, Right now, The feeling of your legs touching one another, The feeling of the ground underneath you, Maybe even the feeling of your clothing on your skin. Turn your attention now to anything you can smell. And finishing off, Just noticing what you can taste. With your mind prepped to feel what's in the present moment, Can you become openly aware of your position in life right now, This place you have arrived at? And can you be grateful for making it this far, For the luxuries that lay out right in front of you, Whether that's parts of your health, Maybe it's your wealth, Or maybe it's some of your relationships? And then can you bring some gratitude for the fact that this, Right now, Is the start of the rest of your life? How cool is that? Inhale awareness of your present moment, And then exhale gratitude for everything it brings you. Quite literally experiencing the present. Finally, Let's turn our attention to the future you and what they may need. You know like when you leave water on the bedside table for you in the morning, Past you looks after future you. Think about what actions future you would really appreciate. Maybe it's more exercise, Maybe it's more savings, Maybe it's a bit more fun. This is your chance to really explore what future you may want, And more importantly, What they may need. You don't have to force this one, Just be quiet for a moment and let future you speak back to you. Good work. Inhale awareness for the future, Exhale excitement for what is to come. Let's bring it all together now. Take a deep breath in and feel that freedom from your past, Exhale enjoy it. Inhale breathe in that gratitude for the present, Exhale enjoy it. And then inhale that excitement for the future as you exhale enjoy it. When you're ready you can blink your eyes open and keep this relationship you've established with yourself and look after it going forward. Until next time, Namaste.

Reviews

As always, extremely thought-provoking. This was a tough one because it’s not quite as easy to just think about the things that you’ve done incorrectly or maybe not in the best way and to just release it just like that. It’s a great concept and I wish I could do it ha ha ha , but this one was very difficult. greatly appreciate everything you offer here have a bright and amazing week on purpose

Terrific grounding / centering meditation, especially for those times when I get too caught up & bogged down by all that is going on in the world around & outside of me. Thanks!