MA 64 Letting Go Of Anxiety

Meditation from the Thai Theravada tradition following a modernized interpretation of Boran Kammaṭṭhāna. This track coaches meditators in letting go of anxiety, compared to putting down a heavy backpack, while also helping practitioners to avoid the temptation to let their eyesight interfere with efforts to visualize. No end sound.

Transcript

So let's make a start by relaxing ourselves, When we're ready we can find a comfortable sitting position, Making sure our phone is on silent or turned off completely, Loosening any tight clothing and doing whatever else we need to become fully comfortable, Reminding ourselves that this is time for ourselves, A dreamy inward time that allows us through the power of our subconscious mind to come closer to our goals, And whether we listen consciously or our mind wanders to distractions, One way or another, Our subconscious will absorb the information it needs, At any time if we realize our mind is wandering it's just a case of gently bringing it back to the sound of my voice. So to begin with let's start with a technique that's been developed to help us shift more directly to a deeper more tranquil state, And as we begin to ease into comfort, We might take a moment to imagine tiny weights that cause our eyelids to droop, Becoming heavier and heavier, Until it's hard to keep them open, And as our eyes slowly close, We allow our awareness to drift down deeper and deeper, And as our breathing slows right down, Starting from the top of our head, We'll sense a soothing warmth that radiates downward, And gently loosens all the tightness in the muscles of our scalp and forehead, Permeating our body and mind, A soothing warmth that moves downward, Softening the tiny muscles around our eyes, And then the tide of relaxation moves down into our cheeks and jaw, Easing, Unwinding, Draining all the tension from our head, Melting away into soft warmth, As our muscles become as smooth as silk, And then down into our neck, All the way down. If our mind wanders, We can gently bring it back, Relaxing more and more deeply, As any tight muscles at the back of our neck loosen, And then down into our spine, The muscles surrounding our spine, Easing, Unwinding, Dissolving, Melting away any tension from our back and shoulders, And slowly we feel the warmth move down through the tops of our shoulders, Through our arms, All the way down through our elbows, Forearms, And wrists, To our hands, And even the tips of our fingers. We may even feel a slight pleasant tingling sensation of relaxation in our fingertips, And a deep contentment all through our upper body. And now we feel the warmth in our chest, As we are breathing slowly, Slowing right down, And the soft warmth of relaxation flows into our stomach, Bathing the muscles of our core, As these muscles are softened and soothed in tender relaxation, And then down, All the way down, All the way through our hips, Our thighs, Our knees, Our calves, Our ankles, And our feet, Right the way down to the tips of our toes, All the way down, Protected in the soft warmth of calm, Well-being, Safely protected, At ease with our mind, And tranquil. And with our body relaxed, With our whole body replete in its state of comfort, It becomes less and less necessary for us to squirm or fidget, And with any tension drained from our body, We can focus on our breath, As we allow our awareness to go even deeper, Becoming one with the soft, Gentle rhythm of our breath. So, Withdrawing inward with the gentle pull of the breath, Allowing ourselves to drift deeper, Ever deeper, Into relaxation, Until it almost feels as if we are drifting on a layer of cloud-like softness, As we feel our way gently to a standstill. From here, We can start to let go of any worries, As if we are becoming aware of a heavy, Hypothetical backpack, That we've been constantly carrying around, A pack that has, Up until now, Been so heavy, And realizing how much of the weight has been made up of thoughts and anxieties that have been weighing us down, Hindering us from our chosen goals, As if it has relegated our journey through life to walking through treacle. So, We recognize the niggling thoughts that have been the reason for the heaviness of our burden, The useless, Rock-like sack of worries and fears we have dragged around with us every day of our life, And at this point, With certain clarity and understanding, We can gently pull ourselves free of our burden and let it tumble to the ground, And as we do so, We feel a tremendous relief, Realizing how much lighter and freer we have become without that useless cargo of anxiety that will now no longer burden us, Freeing up new space in our heart and mind for lightness and freedom, For peace of mind, For joy, To allow us to face life with a new spring in our step. So, From this point on, We sink instead into blissful comfort, As we are lulled by a sense of warmth and a glow of the light, Which seems to shine forth from within our body, Extending all the way from the top of our head to the tips of our toes, And which shields us in perfect contentment and safety, Forming an impenetrable barrier against anything worrisome, Since we are now safe and protected, Perfectly at peace, Perfectly at ease, And from this point forth, The mind will automatically sidestep any worry and let any thoughts settle into tranquility. So, With this mechanism now firmly in place in our mind, Worries can no longer get a foothold, But slip easily away from us. From there, We simply allow the mind to remain in stillness at the center of the body, At the seventh base of the mind, Which is located at the center of our stomach, About two finger-breaths above the level of the navel, In the center of our body. The center of the body is particularly important, Because it's the only place inside us where the mind can break completely free of thought. It's the place inside us where mind and body can come into balance, It's aligned with the turning point of the deepest breath, And it's the center of wisdom inside us. All we need to do is bring our mind, Which normally wanders outside of ourselves, Back to this point in the center of our body, In a soft and gentle way, Resting it in the center of our body, In a soft and gentle way, Resting it there consistently, Lightly and gently the whole the time. If we can rest our mind at this point in a light and gentle way, We'll have the feeling of expansion inside ourselves. Those who prefer to have some structure to their meditation, Might like to imagine a bright object there, Such as a bright shining sun, A full moon, A star, Or a diamond at our center. But the way we imagine such an image should be gentle, Soft and continuous, As if we were looking at a commonplace object, Such as a rose, Something we don't normally bother to stare at, But can just gaze at gently. In fact, It doesn't have to be a rose, It can be any object which we habitually think about. Whatever we choose, We should imagine it continuously, In a light and gentle way. If we reach the perfect equilibrium in our meditation, We'll have a sense of lightness and expansion at the center of the body. We'll find that the inner experience expands outwards. However, If we have the feeling in our meditation that something is blunt, Or stressed, Narrow or inauthentic, Then we shouldn't force ourselves to go further with meditation that feels like that. Better that we open our eyes and then close them to reset our meditation, Then picking up where we left off, Gently, Lightly and patiently, With our mind at a standstill at the center, In a subtle and gentle way, With our mind bright and clear at the center. And if we like, We might also repeat the sound of the mantra to ourselves, Samma Arahang, Samma Arahang, Samma Arahang, Repeating the mantra for as long as we feel comfortable with it. Some people might have previously trained in breathing meditation, In which they might say Samma to themselves on the in-breath, And Arahang to themselves on the out-breath. If we find repeating it helps us, It means that we can keep on repeating it over and over again to ourselves, Until our mind comes to a standstill at the center. Once the mind starts to come to a standstill, Then the sound of Samma Arahang will die away all by itself, Almost as if we forgot to maintain the mantra. And if our mind is restless and wanders to other matters, Then we need to stick with the mantra. But if our mind is no longer wandering, And there are no more thoughts arising, We can just let the mantra die away, Since the mantra has already served its purpose. We continue merely by maintaining our mind gently and in stillness at our center. But if this seems to be too much structure and the mind is already slowing down, We can just remain within ourselves for a few more moments in silence. So we continue to keep our mind gently on track at the center of the body. If our attention wanders away, We bring it back again each time. If the inner object disappears, We can conjure up a new one. If it changes, Then we just follow it in its new form. If we find when visualizing, We still cannot resist the temptation to use our eyes to stare down at the center of the body, We might try the technique of imagining that the center of the body has enlarged outwards in size, All the way to the horizon. And it is so large that the whole of our body actually fits inside the center of our body, Instead of the other way around. And our awareness remains in stillness at the center of this juxtaposition. We may find that our mantra tails off completely, And we are content to sit in silence, Which is yet another vindication of the pioneering advice that stopping is the secret of success. But when the mind grinds to a standstill, There'll be a feeling of opening up, Of expansion, As if breaking free from narrow confines. There'll be a feeling of lightness and contentment in the mind. The body will seem to enlarge until it disappears, Merging with the atmosphere around it. All that will be left is a sense of stillness, As if we were floating at the center of an infinite space. When they reach this point in the meditation, Some people have no idea of what to do next. Because it's like being airborne, But having lost our bearings or our sense of direction. We may find we don't even know where the center is anymore. If this happens, We just rest our mind anywhere that seems comfortable. And the mind will continue its journey to one-pointedness, Technically known as ekakata. Still, Firm, Soft, And comfortable, As the mind reaches toward ever-increasing purity, Until the underlying light of purity starts to show through. At this point, Some people experience joy that they have managed to overcome the hindrances, Energy that can manifest itself in various ways. But we continue to remain in stillness, Just pretending we're not interested, Until the mind picks up on the inward attraction that will draw it through the center. Or we may perceive a tiny pinprick of light that is the source of the internal brightness. As small as a single star in the firmament, Or in some cases it may be larger than this, Shining with a mirror-like brightness, Which is the manifestation of one-pointedness. Although the mind experiences it with the smoothness of equanimity, Paving the way for the arising of further attainments inside, Along an inner pathway that can be referred to as the path of purity, Or the path of liberation. In some meditation lineages, They teach the meditator to reject anything that arises in the mind. But at this stage in our meditation, The inner experience is worth cherishing, Worth our special attention. To discard experiences we have attained at this stage would be like rowing a boat until reaching the shore, And then pushing off and rowing back again, Infinitely repeating our journey. So we economize our effort and cherish the inner experience to the point that we can take it deeper. So we continue with our meditation in this way for a few more moments, Now in silence, Until we come to the appropriate time.