MA 56 The Five Stages Of Loving-Kindness

Meditation from the Thai Theravada tradition following a modernized interpretation of Boran Kammatthana. This studio recording of the 6 May 2024 track explains how loving-kindness can be practiced using five sequential stages.

Transcript

So,

As you start by coming back to yourself,

You may notice your mind becoming more settled.

As your thinking begins to quieten down,

Then you can let your eyelids gently close and let your awareness turn naturally inwards.

You start by being aware of your body,

Letting your awareness begin a journey,

A voyage of exploration throughout your body,

Beginning perhaps with the parts of your body that are in contact with your cushion,

Letting that contact have a grounding,

Stabilizing effect on your mind,

And expanding your awareness from those points of contact into the rest of your body.

And as you become aware of each muscle,

Of each group of muscles,

You can let go,

Let them relax and soften,

Letting your feet relax,

Your legs,

Your hips,

Being aware of your back,

Of your spine,

And letting it be relaxed and responsive,

Letting your spine move freely with the movements of your body caused by your breath.

Notice your shoulders rising with every in-breath,

Relaxing every time you breathe out.

And as you begin to relax more deeply,

You may start to notice certain sensations in your hands and your fingers,

Noticing the muscles on the back of your neck,

The muscles supporting your skull,

And letting them lengthen and soften,

The back of your neck long and relaxed and open,

Your chin very slightly and comfortably tucked in,

Your head balanced effortlessly on top of your spine,

Your jaw relaxed,

Your eyes soft behind closed eyelids,

Your brow free from tension,

Soft,

Relaxed.

And then become aware of all the experiences in your body,

Continuing to relax,

Letting go of any tensions,

And while you're being aware of your body,

In the midst of all these experiences,

You can notice the sensations of your breathing,

Letting your breath be relaxed and natural,

Your body expanding on each in-breath,

And as you release on the out-breath,

Your body relaxing.

So every time you exhale,

There is a natural sense of relaxation throughout your body,

Every muscle relaxing and letting go.

So be aware of that natural phase of relaxation,

And let it go a little deeper with every out-breath.

So with every exhalation,

You can sense a wave of relaxation sweeping downward through your body,

Sweeping away tensions,

Leaving your body relaxed,

And helping to calm your mind.

And the more you notice this wave of relaxation,

The deeper your calmness becomes.

And continuing by letting the momentum of your awareness carry you through these still quiet points,

Helping you to keep a continuous awareness of the cycle of your breathing,

Letting your breathing be relaxed and natural,

Noticing your body opening with each in-breath,

Noticing your body relaxing with each out-breath,

Maintaining an awareness of this alternating pattern of expansion and energy.

So at this point,

We allow the mind to reach inward towards the source of light inside us for a few moments.

While always maintaining a sense of relaxation the whole of the time.

It is a kind of inner awakening fueled by the inner light in the mind.

At this level of description,

The shape of the mind is spherical,

A sphere that shines with an inner light,

A round sphere that's self-illuminating.

By resting the mind at this point,

The source is illuminated by the bright inner light in the mind.

All you need to do is immerse yourself in the bright silvery inner light as it shines its radiance forth.

Allow the light or the inner feeling of light to continue on and on with the mind shining forth its radiance.

And whether we've learned to initiate inner brightness by ourselves,

We reach inwardly with the mind,

Reaching gently with our awareness toward the inner light shining in the mind at the center of the body.

The inner light foretells the arising of peace in the mind like the light before dawn.

The inner light replicates the real spherical nature of the mind and we continue to connect with the source of the inner light as continuously as we can for as long as we can.

If you find yourself becoming distracted from time to time,

Simply acknowledge the activity of your mind and direct your attention back to your center.

The reality of meditation is that in the beginning,

It's always going to be this gentle back and forth.

So pay attention to this process of moving away from the center and coming back.

And as you do so,

The movement of the attention will leave you unfazed,

Allowing you to come back again and again and cultivating a sense of patience and gentleness with yourself.

You never have to push anything away,

You never have to try to control or fix your thoughts.

If at any time during the meditation you realize that the mind wandered off or got caught up in thinking,

It's no problem because that's just what it's used to doing,

But we give it something different.

We reintroduce it to the center,

Observing at the center.

Every time we bring our awareness back to the center,

It will allow us to dive deep to where the stillness and calm is and to where the beauty of the mind is.

So tell yourself that there's nothing that you have to get right or to perfect.

You simply remain curious and observe in the present moment.

You're simply getting to know the center and observing its qualities.

You're creating space between yourself and your thoughts and tapping into that still silent place.

If thoughts return,

We do our best to ignore them.

If ignoring the thoughts proves ineffective,

We can make use of the traditional mantra instead,

Using the words SAMMA ARAHANG,

SAMMA ARAHANG,

SAMMA ARAHANG.

The more we say the mantra,

The more power we give to the words of the mantra and the more benefit they will bring in calming our mind.

They will start to lead deeper toward a sense of purity in the mind.

So we feel these words resonating within our heart and within every cell,

Every fiber of our being with each repetition of the mantra.

It may seem hard in the beginning to meditate,

But it gets easier with practice.

It's only difficult because we are so familiar with projecting our awareness outside of ourselves,

To get caught up with material people and objects and situations in the outside world.

With all the sense objects,

Whether it be enticing sights,

Sounds,

Perfumes,

Tastes or tactile sensations.

So the difficulty is that every time we bring the mind back inside us,

It will go looking for external distractions all over again,

Because this is what it's used to doing.

Like a fish out of water,

Looking for distraction,

Entertainment,

Obsession,

Entanglement.

So we have to give ourselves the time and the opportunity to get used to internalizing the mind.

If our mind gets distracted by external things,

Never mind,

But we gradually bring it back again each time.

The other possible difficulty is with our expectations for progress.

We know all the advantages of making a breakthrough in our meditation.

We know it'll bring us an inner refuge of happiness and a special understanding of life.

There's no problem in wanting progress,

But we have to make sure we don't crave after it too much.

We should use our motivation to give us the willingness to put in the hours of meditation,

But not while we are actually meditating.

Ironically,

If we crave to stop the mind,

It will just make it all the more elusive.

Because we try to force images into our mind,

Or tense up our eyes,

Or try to stare down into our stomach,

Which is a physical impossibility.

Much better is just to start out with the feeling as if there is an object inside us to focus on.

So we start with a feeling rather than something visible,

And this will reduce our tendency to manufacture inner experiences,

Or to try too hard.

We have to trust that the inner experience we require is already in there somewhere,

But all we need to do is tune our mind to the same level of subtlety.

We have to trust that one way or another,

Experience will come to us sooner or later,

So there's no need to make an artificial effort.

So in the meantime,

We continue in this way,

Lightly and gently,

For a few more moments in silence,

Until we come to the appropriate time.

So we continue to keep our mind gently on track,

At the center of the body.

Often it comes down to familiarity with the technique,

Rather than theoretical knowledge of the meditation.

There are many examples of those with no previous background to meditation,

But who stumble across the proper balance in meditation.

And when their mind comes into equilibrium,

They will attain progress in their meditation in just the same way as those who are knowledgeable about the meditation theory.

Awareness will pass deeper through the center,

And they experience happiness on the inside.

Happiness that will keep their mind in place on the inside the whole of the time,

Which will cause the mind to move inward toward inner peace.

It's not that person's imagination,

But it is a real experience that exists inside the consciousness of every living person.

This is why we need to keep on training ourselves every day in meditation.

And in between meditation sessions,

Maintain mindfulness at the center of the body.

Our mind will be connected continuously at the center,

And will be linked into that stream of purity flowing up from our center.

In the meantime,

We shouldn't obsess too much about the center of the body.

There's definitely no need for us to go looking for it,

Or to worry about if we got there yet.

We should remind ourselves that the mind doesn't like to be forced to do anything.

If anything,

It prefers tender loving care.

So we just put our mind in neutral,

Without worrying about the center of the body.

We should just let our mind coast,

Or imagine that the target size of the center of the body has enlarged to the very horizons around us,

As if we were already sitting in the middle of the center of the body,

So that we don't need to do anything more,

With nothing to add and nothing more to adjust.

So for now,

We continue to train the mind gently,

Until it becomes centered in inner happiness,

For a few more moments in silence,

Until we come to time for some loving-kindness meditation.

So we continue to keep our mind on track at the center of the body.

And the final part of our meditation today,

We're going to practice loving-kindness meditation in five sequential stages,

To allow us to develop this emotion of loving-kindness within ourselves.

So we continue to maintain a sense of ease and comfort,

And relaxation at the center of ourselves.

We gather up the sensations at the center of ourselves,

And we continue to allow the sense of relaxation and ease to deepen with our awareness into our center,

Becoming aware of whatever feelings and emotions are present,

Whose feelings and emotions may be very subtle,

Or they may have a very definite and strong presence.

We don't have to be able to put a name to these emotions for the time being.

Whatever is there,

We accept them,

Because this is where we're starting from.

There's only one place that we can start from,

And that is where we are.

So we look for a sense of contentment,

A place to start out from where we are,

Whatever our emotional state may be.

So sometimes we might have a sense that our emotions occupy a volume of space in or around our body.

Sometimes they may seem to have a texture or color.

So we just notice these impressions.

We notice with a sense of contentment,

Starting from wherever we are,

Aware that we can patiently work with whatever we're experiencing,

Patiently,

Confidently,

Bringing them gently to our center,

Accepting that these emotions will change at their own rate,

Just as seeds watered and cared for in the soil will respond to nourishment and will change and grow at their own rate.

Accepting that change is happening in time in response to this practice.

Remaining aware of how we're feeling at our center,

We can begin the first stage of the loving-kindness meditation by wishing ourselves well,

Cultivating an attitude of appreciation and care for ourselves.

And we can do this simply by dropping the words within our intention,

May I be well,

May I be happy,

May I be free from suffering.

And slowly and with care,

From our center,

We allow the effects of these kind intentions to ripple gently through our emotions.

We might imagine our emotions as being like a still forest pool.

And as we drop the intention,

May we be well,

May we be happy,

May we be free from suffering into our center,

It's as if we're dropping a flower into the still waters,

Being aware of the effects of the flower falling into the water,

Being aware of the ripples spreading outwards.

It may also help to think of a time when we felt particularly well and happy.

We can call to mind some time from our past,

When we had that sense of well-being and contentment,

And we can recreate that experience once more,

Magnifying and multiplying the feeling of confidence and ease by dropping the intention,

May I be well,

May I be happy,

May I be free from suffering.

And for a few moments,

Patiently and kindly,

With care and love,

We wish ourselves well.

And if we ever become aware that our mind has wandered,

Then we bring our awareness kindly and patiently back to our body,

To our center,

And continue to wish ourselves well.

And from there,

We can move to the second stage of the loving kindness practice,

Where we can call to mind a good friend,

Someone that we have a close connection with,

Someone whose well-being is important to us,

And we can wish our friend well with the intention,

May you be well,

May you be happy,

May you be free from suffering.

And conjuring up these intentions with meaning and conviction,

We notice what changes are taking place in our emotions in response to these intentions.

The changes may be subtle or quite noticeable,

They may not be the changes we expect,

But we just notice what happens and continue to observe what happens with our emotions,

As we wish our friend well.

And then moving on to the third stage of the loving kindness,

You can put your friend to one side for now,

And call to mind a neutral person,

Someone that you don't have any special feelings towards,

You may neither particularly like them,

Nor do you have any particular aversion towards them,

It might be someone that you see quite regularly,

Perhaps at a supermarket checkout,

In your workplace,

Or on the street.

Call this person to mind and begin to wish him or her well,

With the intention,

May you be well,

May you be happy,

May you be free from suffering.

And although you know little or nothing about this person's life,

You share something very profound and powerful in common with them,

The fact that they,

Like you,

Wish to find happiness,

That they wish to be free from suffering.

So the more you're aware of them being like you in this respect,

The more you can wish him or her well in a heartfelt way.

Moving to the fourth stage of the loving kindness,

You can put the neutral person to one side,

And call to mind someone you know but have difficulties with,

Someone with whom you experience conflict or a sense of strain.

When you call this person to mind,

You may have a sense of discomfort,

So just notice that gut response,

That feeling,

And at the same time wish him or her well from your center.

May you be well,

May you be happy,

May you be free from suffering.

Like you,

This person wants to be happy and free from suffering.

And as you move into the fifth and final stage of the loving kindness meditation,

You can call to mind all four people,

Yourself,

Your friend,

The neutral person,

And the difficult person,

And wish all four people well while making the intention that all four be well and happy.

With the intention,

May we be well,

May we be happy,

May we all be free from suffering.

We can imagine all four people being well and happy,

And being in harmony.

You might notice a tendency to discriminate,

To not want to give your loving kindness equally to all four people.

We try to overcome that tendency and spread our good wishes evenly.

And from there we can begin to spread our good wishes in wider and wider circles,

Wishing that everyone who's around us be well and happy.

People in the building that we're in,

Around the building,

In the neighborhood,

Wishing well to everyone in our town,

And in the area around our town.

Perhaps having a sense of our loving kindness,

Our good wishes,

Radiating outwards,

Perhaps like a warm golden radiance from our center,

Moving outwards in all directions.

With the intention,

May all beings be well,

May all beings be happy,

May all beings be free from suffering.

Expanding the sphere of our loving kindness,

Embracing all sentient beings on the planet,

All beings capable of experiencing suffering or joy,

Imagining them well and happy,

In harmony,

Living in peace.

Enjoying the sense of radiating loving kindness from our own center,

Outwards in all directions.

So we sit for a few more moments in silence,

Enjoying the fruits of the loving kindness practice,

Appreciating and enjoying our experience,

Noticing whatever emotional changes have taken place.

We can appreciate the effort that we've been making,

Since very few people consciously spend time cultivating positive emotions.

So what we've been doing is very rare and precious,

Worthy of appreciation.

So in this way we sit for a few more moments,

Enjoying the fruits of the loving kindness practice,

Appreciating and enjoying our experience for the last few moments of our meditation together.