Designing your own loving-kindness phrases.
This is a pen and paper exercise.
We will close our eyes and do some reflection,
Then open our eyes and write,
And then close and open and close our eyes again.
The exercise is designed to help you discover loving-kindness and compassion phrases that are deeply meaningful to you.
If you already have phrases and wish to continue using them,
You can try this exercise as an experiment.
But please don't feel,
You need to find new phrases.
To begin,
Please close your eyes,
Place a hand over your heart or elsewhere,
And feel your body gently breathe.
Please take a moment and allow your heart to gently open,
To become receptive,
Like a flower opens in the warm sun.
Then ask yourself this question,
Allowing the answer to arise naturally within you.
What do I need?
What do I truly need?
If this need has not been fulfilled in a given day,
Your day does not feel complete.
Letting the answer be a universal human need,
Such as the need to be connected,
Kind,
Healthy,
Peaceful,
Or free.
When you're ready,
Please open your eyes and write down what arose for you.
The words you discovered can be used in meditation just as they are,
Or you can rewrite them as wishes for yourself,
Such as,
May I be kind to myself.
May I begin to be kind to myself.
May I know that I belong.
May I connect with my basic goodness.
May I know my own value.
May I be free from fear.
May I rest in love.
Now please close your eyes again and consider a second question.
This question may take you a little deeper,
So feel free to only go as deep as you feel comfortable going.
The question is this.
What do I need to hear from others?
What words do I need to hear?
Because as a person,
I really need to hear words like this.
Some examples are,
I love you.
I'm here for you.
I believe in you.
You're a good person.
Just opening the door of your heart and waiting for words to come.
If words are not coming for you yet,
Ask yourself,
If I could,
What words would I like to have whispered into my ear every day for the rest of my life?
Words that might make me say,
Oh,
Thank you,
Thank you,
Every time I hear them.
Allowing yourself to be vulnerable and open to this possibility with courage,
Listening.
Now gently opening your eyes again and writing down what you heard.
If you heard a lot of words,
Seeing if you can make the words into a short phrase,
A message to yourself.
The words you wrote down can be used in loving kindness meditation just as they are.
Or you can also rewrite them as wishes for yourself.
Actually,
Words that we would like to hear from others again and again are words that we easily forget or qualities we would like to realize in our own lives or attitudes that we wish to implant firmly in our hearts.
For example,
Needing to hear I love you might mean that we wish to know we are truly lovable.
That's why we need to hear it over and over again.
What do you want to know for sure?
If you like,
You can reframe your words as wishes for yourself.
For example,
I love you can become the wish,
May I love myself just as I am or may I know that I am loved.
I'm here for you can become the wish,
May I know that I belong.
You're a good person can become the wish.
May I know my own goodness.
Now please take a moment to review what you have written and settle on one to three words or phrases you would like to use in meditation.
These words or phrases are gifts you will give to yourself.
Please take a moment to memorize your words.
Finally let's close our eyes for a last time.
We will repeat the words over and over to ourselves.
See if you can let the process be as easy as possible,
Much like slipping into a warm bath.
Nothing to accomplish,
Just letting the words go where they need to go and allowing them to do all the work.
Beginning by saying your words or phrases slowly and gently,
Perhaps whispering them into your own ear,
As if into the ear of a loved one.
Let's close our eyes for a last time.
Nothing to do,
Nowhere to go.
Just surrounding yourself with kind words,
Letting them wash over you and through you.
Words that you need to hear.
And whenever your mind wanders,
You can refresh your aim by offering yourself soothing touch or by just feeling the sensations in your body.
And then offering yourself the phrases again.
Let's close our eyes for a last time.
And now gently releasing the phrases and allowing yourself to rest in the experience.
Letting this practice be just what it was and letting yourself be just as you are.
Please consider this exercise to be only the beginning of a search for phrases that are just right for you.
Finding loving kindness phrases is a soulful journey,
A poetic journey.
You will find yourself returning to this process.
What do I need?
What do I need to hear as you go forward?
And gently opening your eyes.
Letting this practice be just what it was and allowing yourself to rest in the experience.
