How Happiness Is Strength

This is a casual, uplifting, and expansive conversation on how happiness is a superpower, what may be getting in the way of your happiness, and how you can be happier today.

It’s grounded in my TTJ Method and offered with love to inspire healing, insight, and your next breakthrough.

Welcome to Your Best Podcast. I’m Teemaree.

Transcript

Hey, Hey, Welcome to Your Best Podcast. I'm your best life coach, Team Marie, Guiding you along the various paths to get your best in life, Health, Business, And spirituality. You know, We're always breaking it down here, And today is no different. Today is all about happiness is strength. Happiness is strength, Honey. Woo-hoo! That's right, That's right. I'm going to kick it off with a very personal story and see if you can relate. So about a year ago, I was with my family. It was a very extraordinary circumstance. Our grandfather, My grandfather had passed away, And so that brought us all together, Right? That brought us all together, Which is a very rare event in my family's case, Or at least for me. So here we were all together and sharing stories, And various members of my family started to talk about how, You know, Even in the good areas in LA, Like stuff is crazy, And like all these like different conflicts that they were having, Like some were road rage, Some were just like different interactions. Oh, I can't believe this happened in the parking lot over here. And I was just like, What? Are you kidding me? What? What? Why are you saying this? I'm like, You have a good life. You live in a good area. Like, Quit your tripping. Stop saying what you're saying. This is crazy. I'm like, I now live in Michigan, But it has not been that long. It's only been like two and a half years that I've been out of Los Angeles, And I'm like, Y'all are acting like you live in just this crazy, Volatile area. I'm like, Dude, You live in a really nice area. What are you talking about? And why are you saying these things like in a glorified way? It was just like, So funny to me, Right? And so as I asked them these questions, Like, No, Man, No, You know, You don't understand. Like, It's crazy out here and like, All this stuff and they're like, Justifying their reasons for like, Engaging in these like, Random public conflicts. And I'm like, Straight up. I'm like, If somebody's trying to come crazy at me right now, If somebody's trying to like, Road rage with me, Like, I'm out. Bye. Like, I am out. I am so out. I'm like, If you want to try to like, You know, Get into this road rage situation on the road, I'm out. Bye. Like, Go ahead. See ya. Like, I'm not the one. I'm not the one. You know, And I even made a joke about it. Like, We were all kind of like, They're gathered in the backyard and we were all gathered together. And I was like, I'd be out and I ran away from them. I was like, Bye. And I realized in that moment that they had really strong feelings about that. And I realized yet again in that moment, How different I am from a lot of the members of my family. And it was a really like, Interesting moment where I was the watcher of that whole interaction, Even outside of my own body, Just kind of taking it all in and just realizing like, Yeah, You know, I've evolved and not from a sense of like, Self-centeredness. Um, It's just a, An awareness, Right? It's an awareness of like, I don't think it's cool to try to have the last word on the road with a random person. I don't think that's cool. I don't think that that is necessary. I don't think that that is strong. What I think is strong is being happy. What I think is strong is being what my husband calls unbreakable where you're not phased. Okay. Happiness is strength. Happiness is strength. It is strength to have someone like trying to like spew their problems on you because their life is chaotic. And for you to just be like, Like unfazed by that. And not because you don't care about people, But just because you realize that their issue is not your burden to carry. Number one is not your thing to correct. Number two, And is really not something that you need to engage in. You don't have to prove yourself. You don't have to defend yourself. You don't have to do these things. I'm telling you, It's just this whole new way of being. And so today's all about happiness being strength. Right? And here's the thing. Like, I used to be like that. I used to be like that. Like there was a whole time back, Back, Back in the day, We're talking decades back, Right? Where like road rage was actually a thing. Road rage was actually a thing. It's like, Oh, You want to come up? You want to come up? You want to try to get a little squirrely? Like, I'm gonna show you who's boss. I'm going to step on my, My gas too. And we're going to race or, You know, Oh, I'm going to tell you to what time it is. And I'm going to, And there was this whole like feeling. And even after every single one of those interactions, Like it never was, Even if I won the race or even if, Even when I got the last word, I never left any of those situations feeling good about life. Never. It never was like, Yeah, Cool. I'm great for the day. It felt like anxious. Like I'm still upset. And it took a while to come down from those interactions. That's not a place of power at all. Over these years of personally, Personally getting better, Meaning like developing my emotional life, Developing my emotional maturity, Developing my, Um, Perceptions around interactions with other people and what things mean and where they actually come from and what is personal and what is not like, There is so much power in happiness. And now like, As someone that coaches folks through those same things, It's like, Yeah, That's the whole point to have your power because we come from families. We come from situations. We come from things from old habits that are not that, That are reactive, That are like, Hey, You came at me. So now I'm going to match the energy. Oh, Hey, You have a word to say. So now I have to say a word to, You know, And, And nowadays more than ever, Like anytime, It's not a good way to be, But like nowadays, Like people, People want to take other people's lives for stupid interactions on the road. And yes, It's stupid. Nothing is worth somebody dying over like, Oh my gosh, They cut you off. Move on. Like, Dude, What was happening for them? Maybe they just got terrible news on the phone. You know, Maybe they're late on the first day of their job and they haven't worked in like six months and they're like ready to lose everything. And so they're just like, You know, Maybe they're lost. Maybe they're lost in real life. It's like, Oh my gosh, That's the turnoff I need. And they're just trying to get where they need to go. It has nothing to do with what we think so much of the time. Happiness is strength. Happiness is strength. Man, You know, As I was like really reviewing like that time, Visiting LA at that time was really, Really just a big deal for me. I love LA. I love where I'm from, But just visiting family and burying my grandfather and just the whole, The whole thing surrounding the entire experience was really kind of triggering and traumatic and emotional. And I remember coming back home to Michigan with my wonderful husband, Tony, And just feeling like I wanted to sleep for like three months straight. I was so just like spent because there was a lot of doors that I was closing and a lot of flags I was really planting. It's a constant evolving thing as we move through our lives and happiness is strength. Happiness is strength. But I didn't come from that, Right? I didn't come from that. I came from bravado. I came from anger. I came from control. I came from, You know, Even to this day, Like there is a whole glorification around like, You know, Gang life and hardships. And I'm like, Dude, That is not, That's not it, Yo. That's not it. Like it's just not it. Okay. It's not it. Sorry. Not sorry, But that's not it. Like it is so much stronger to be happy. It is so much stronger to be forgiving. It is so much stronger to be loving. It is so much stronger to be vulnerable. It is so much stronger to be honest. It is so much stronger to be present, Right? And happiness is the key to all of this. Happiness is the key, Right? I was like, Dude, I was thinking a lot about, You know, Anger and bravado and revenge thinking and like just how for so long that thought process was like, That's strength right there. Like that's strength, You know, You don't never let them see you sweat. You don't ask for help. You do it yourself. You know, You, You, You don't, You don't say sorry. Saying sorry is weak. You know, Being vulnerable is weak. Like just all these kinds of thoughts and ways of being. And there I was as a full-fledged adult, You know, 20 something years guiding other people and myself. And even some of those people in attendance I've helped through hardships. And like, I'm like, Dude, Haven't we all evolved past this? This was crazy. This felt like, Whoa, What's going on? Because once again, It was like just, Whoa. Wow. That's right. We used to think that way. We all used to think that way. I used to think that way. Right. So where are you at? Where are you? It feels so crazy. It really feels like upside down when you start to go from having a guarded existence to being more vulnerable. I know I've walked that path, Right? It feels wild. What am I doing? What am I doing? Why? But it's so awesome. It's so awesome. You know, Before when I had all my walls up and I couldn't let anybody or anything in, Well, Now there's nothing. There's nothing. If you let nobody in, There's no one. If you let nothing in, There's nothing. And so it's this empty way to be when you're vulnerable. Yeah. Maybe you look dumb sometimes. Yeah. Maybe, You know, There's going to be plenty. There's plenty of people who don't understand me. There's plenty of people who, You know, Might think I'm dorky or silly or dumb or too much or whatever, Because we're not for everybody. But guess what? Like now I have the most fun being totally who I am at any given point in time of the day. And guess what? It's an easy filtration system, Yo, Because anybody who isn't down with me, Who doesn't like me, Who feels I'm too much or whatever, They instantly repel themselves. And it's phenomenal. It's phenomenal, Right? When I'm vulnerable and I ask questions and I go ahead and actually speak to people just right off the cuff, Just real honest, I see right away who can deal with that and who can't, You know? And that's cool because then right away it's like, There's no pretense, There's no drama, There's no hoping when nobody's actually being honest about anything and we're just all wasting time. It's this really cool, Amazing way to be. So happiness is the same, Right? There's been folks who want to come and they want to endlessly complain. I think we all have people like that in our lives where they just want to come and complain or they just want to come and gossip. Guess what? When we're happy, When we don't engage in that, It repels itself because now we're not, We're not the audience, You know? And, And that's cool. That's cool. You know, My, My pastor Joel Osteen said once, Your mind, Your ears, They're not trash cans. And I was like, Oh my gosh, That's the best because it's true, Right? Like, I don't need to just let anything in here. This isn't a dumping ground. This isn't waste management. This is my ears, The portal to my mind, To the way that I think and to how I feel. Like, Yeah, I have control and power over that now, The more I've done to like work on my personal development, But still like, Why rock the boat, Right? Why am I going to go and just let anybody dump into my head space, Right? And the same for you. So when we're happy, That happiness repels that negativity. It repels the gossip. It repels the drama because people that want to engage in that, Like you're not an audience anymore and you feel good while you're, While you're doing it because you're happy. You're positive. You're focused on the good. You're grateful for your blessings. You're thanking God. You're, You're, You're just, You're somewhere else, Right? So like, Same thing with my family, Like when they're all like sharing stories about how they're living in one of the most expensive places to live in the United States, If not the world, And they're having these dramas and they're being all proud about it. I'm like, That sounds dumb to me. I'm like, Uh, Wait a second. Let me run this down my value chart. Okay. I don't want to pay extra money, Extra taxes. All right. And, And deal with traffic and like all the things that you deal with in LA just to be out here talking, Like I'm living in this like terrible neighborhood and battling people everywhere I go. That is not cute. Like, I don't think that that's bragging rights. I think that that's silly. And if I'm crazy, I'm gonna go ahead and be crazy. Okay. I'm gonna go ahead and be crazy because I stand by what I feel about that. I'm like, Y'all are choosing the wrong things to focus on. And I would much rather, I'd be like, Oh, Y'all want to have a conflict. Bye. I'm out. And I don't care if that makes me look weak or vulnerable or silly. Cause guess what? Guess what? I love my life. I love my life. I appreciate what I have. And I'm not out here trying to act a fool and, You know, Uh, Uh, Entice somebody to do something they're going to regret or be involved in anything that is not, Uh, Towards the positive and towards the, The empowering. It's just, That's just how I roll. Right. So, You know, We got to ask ourselves, You know, Happiness is a superpower. And here's the thing. Happiness is strength. It can be hard to be happy all the time. And I don't think we should be happy all the time because we have a range of emotions for a reason. We have to express these different emotions, But are we setting up shop in the ridiculous? You know what I'm saying? Are we sitting up shop? Like are we choosing to live in a expensive area in a good neighborhood and acting low vibration? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? Okay. If we're doing that, That's us. I'm not saying be happy all the time and like nothing ever, You never have any other range of emotion. If something sad happens, Be sad. Like I'll cry at a movie, Right? I'll cry at a TV show. I'll be like, Oh, That's sad. Ooh, That really got me. But I'm not going to sit around and go sit with the saddest people in the bunch. And we're all going to tell sad stories. And I'm just going to let my ears become a dumping ground for sad news. Come on now, You know what I'm saying? You know what I mean? Happiness is strength. And so how can we focus toward the positive? How can we remain grateful? How can we claim our blessings? How can we detach sometimes from people that we've known all our lives, Sometimes from people we love and identify that, Hey, Those old behaviors don't fit anymore, Man. Like that doesn't make any sense at all. We got to go back to like, What's important. Because there's a lot of things right now trying to steal that joy. A lot of news reports, A lot of social media trolls, A lot of people that complain. Maybe a lot of old friends or family members that just they're like, Yo, This is how we roll, Man. And it's like, Is it? We got to ask ourselves, Do I want to roll like that? And if the answer is no, But guess what? Look, It's hard to be that way. Okay. I'm not even trying to say that it's easy. It's, It's simple, But it's not easy, Man. It's simple, But it's not easy. Why? Because these are old relationships. Why? Because these are family members. Why? Because, Hey, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna lie. In the moment when I did that, The energy shifted in the group. I was looked at differently in the group. I felt it, Right? Because that's not cool. It's not cool in that group to be that way. Right? It's weak. It's whack. You want to talk about how now you got the last word in a, But I don't care. I don't care. And let me tell you why, Because I have the confidence now not to care because I've overcome my fears. So I don't care about that because I've gotten real with myself and my value system. Right. And it took, It took effort, Right? It took work. Okay. But it's worth it, Man. It's worth it. Cause I love, I love being happy. I love being positive. I love being grateful. I love remembering my blessings. I love, Um, Having a stress-free conflict-free life. I love needing to watch television for drama. You feel me? I love that. I love that. And it takes confidence. So that's why I have a confidence coaching program. It's one of the many reasons why I have a confidence coaching program, Because we need to find the strength within ourselves to navigate those very overwhelming waters when it's like, Yeah, Like I don't roll like that anymore. And I want to be able to say that. Yeah. I don't like that. And I want to be able to say that. Yeah. I want to stay happy and I want to be able to say that. Yeah. I want to just focus on the positive and I want to be able to show that. Yeah. I want to be able to be vulnerable and be honest about my feelings and my perspectives and my, The way that I think. And I want to be able to express that and on and on and on. Happiness is a superpower. And when we're not letting ourselves be happy, We got to wonder why, Why, What lie are we believing? What perspective do we have that is making it seem like happiness isn't for us or happiness is too much or positivity is too much, Or we got to ask ourselves that. We weren't created to be these negative fighting, Low vibration entities. We were created for much more.