Alex asked,
This is a funny one,
I cannot stand my mother-in-law.
I cannot stand my mother-in-law.
Do you have any tips on how to deal without completely pulling out my hair,
Knowing that I have to,
That I have to be involved in this relationship?
Um,
Gosh,
You know,
If,
Don't pull out your hair,
That's hurt,
That's gonna hurt you.
Um,
You know,
Look,
Sometimes we,
This is one of those weird situations where,
Again,
It's a relationship,
And if you had it your own way,
You probably just wouldn't deal with the person,
But it's your mother-in-law.
And so you're going to see that person and you're going to have to interact with that person.
So,
You know,
I would say that the best way to kind of go about something like this,
I,
Again,
I don't know the reasons why you dislike her,
But I would imagine,
And usually what happens in these scenarios is because the person either feels belittled or obscene or not accepted or not loved by the person.
And so I would just hope to remind you that the way people react to you is on them.
It's not on you.
So if that person,
If,
And I don't know,
I don't know what it is,
Maybe it's the opposite.
Maybe she's just super doting and it gets on your nerves because she wants to like,
She just loves you so much.
But either way,
Just know that like,
If it's,
If it's the first thing,
If the mother-in-law isn't like good to you and you feel just awkward and strange,
Just know that it doesn't have anything really to do with you.
And that when you show up,
You show up on behalf of you and your spouse.
And you really could kind of just be in the family situation without having to deal too much.
And when that person says something that gets on your nerves,
Just don't react.
Right?
So you could just take a deep breath and just kind of let it ride.
I know that seems very strange and that it's hard because it sometimes feels like the person's taking advantage of us or we just have to be in this messed up situation.
But I'll tell you something,
It goes a longer way than any of the other options.
Because if you don't see the mother-in-law,
Then it looks bad on you and it can cause a strain with your significant other.
If you are rude or if you try to put mother-in-law in her place,
Well,
That's just going to be very bad for everything.
And ultimately it doesn't matter because obviously mother-in-law's already mother-in-law.
So you are already loved and accepted where you need to be.
And just take those breaths,
Present yourself where you can,
And remember that if she's not good to you,
It doesn't reflect on who you are.
It's just whatever's in her mind that is not aligning with the truth.
And if she loves you too much and if she's just like,
Oh my gosh,
And you feel that's just annoying,
Hopefully it's the other.
Then just,
You know,
Try to have grace for her.
Because usually when people are like that,
They really do just want to love you up and they're willing to look silly,
You know,
On behalf of love.
So just accept it.
Accept it where you can and take a deep breath in acceptance.
So one's take a deep breath in like,
I'm going to pause and allow myself to center.
And the other's a deep breath in like,
You know what?
This is awkward for me,
But I deserve showers of love.
So I'm just going to take it.
Such a simple concept,
Just accept love.
