The RAIN of Self-Compassion

This talk and meditation explores three key features of the trance of unworthiness and introduces this guided meditation based on the acronym RAIN (Recognize, Allow, Investigate, Nurture) that awakens self-compassion and de-conditions the suffering of being at war with ourselves.

Transcript

The following meditation is led by Tara Brach. As you come into stillness, Take a few full breaths, A nice deep in-breath and a slow out-breath. And again a nice deep full in-breath, Filling the chest, Filling the lungs. And then a slow out-breath, Feeling the sensations of the breath as you exhale. And then letting the breath resume in its natural rhythm, Just feel this body breathing and take some moments to scan in your life. And you might notice where in your relationships with others or in your own behaviors you feel like you have turned on yourself in some way. You might be in a situation where you are in conflict with another person but feeling bad about yourself. It might be that you have turned on yourself, You are at war with yourself for a way that you are behaving as a parent, A partner, A friend. You might be judging yourself or down on yourself for something to do with work or maybe it is for an addictive behavior. Where do you get into the trance of unworthiness, The trance of not okay? And let your attention go to that place where you know you get into the trance and for now just let yourself kind of get close into it so you can feel the sense of how it is to be living inside that mind-state of the belief that in some way you are falling short, You should be different. Perhaps there is a sense of not lovable, Not okay, Not respectable. Something is wrong. We begin the reign of self-compassion by recognizing how this is trance, At war with myself, Recognizing the thoughts and feelings of the trance, Just allowing that all to be here right now. We are making room for what is here. The A of RAIN is just to allow this is how it is right now. We begin to investigate with curiosity, With gentleness. So what is it like when I am in this trance? You might sense what you are believing about yourself and other people if that comes quickly, Just you know, What is the belief right there? I should be different? I am bad because I am hurting others? No one could love me? I will always fail? Just sense what might be built in there, What kind of core belief. And most important, Feel your body and sense when you are in the trance of unworthiness what is it like in your body? What does your throat feel like, Your chest, Your belly, When you are really feeling bad about yourself? The most important part of investigating is connecting with the embodied experience. Sense the most vulnerable part of you, Where you feel the worst. Sense what that part most needs. The part that feels deficient, Not okay, What does it need? Does it need to be seen in a different way and loved, Understood, Held? Just sense that. And as you are listening into that, As you are feeling into that place in you that is feeling not okay, You might experiment with putting your hand on your heart, Just lightly, A very tender touch. And this is the beginning of turning towards loving, Towards the N of RAIN, The nourishing. And sense the possibility of offering what is most needed inwardly. Perhaps there is words that you might offer. Sometimes it is okay, Sweetheart, Or I am sorry and I love you. Thich Nhat Hanh says, Darling, I care about this suffering is a powerful phrase. It might be as the minister that you sense the love of the God or the divine flowing through you or for me that kiss on the brow of pure care. Sense the possibility of calling on love and offering it inward. Refresh with self-compassion. Each time you nourish with self-compassion let it be a fresh, Creative exploration of what really allows you to feel love flowing into your own being. You might imagine light, Warmth pouring in. Just the intention to offer care inwardly begins to decondition that tendency to be at war. The meditation becomes full when after the steps of RAIN we simply notice, Who am I if I am not any longer believing anything is wrong? Feeling that tenderness, The openness, The spaciousness of being when we are not at war. From the teachings of Bapuji, An Indian master, He says, My beloved child, Break your heart no longer. Each time you judge yourself you break your own heart. You stop feeding on the love which is the wellspring of your vitality. The time has come, Your time, To live, To celebrate and see the goodness that you are. Let no one, No thing, No idea or ideal obstruct you. If one comes even the name of truth forgive it for its unknowing. Do not fight, Let go and breathe into the goodness that you are. Do not fight, Let go and breathe into the goodness that you are. Do not fight, Let go and breathe into the goodness that you are.

Reviews

This was what I needed and I am thankful I was guided to you.

Thank you for your beautiful gentle guidance. This is exactly what I need this morning. 💜🌿

It has taken me years to be able to finally understand Tara's "N" and feel it hardest to even understand self-compassion or loving kindness that comes so easily to me in my relationships with others. I'm glad I came back to it again.

Woke up from a dream where I was confronted with my shortcomings.
Anxious and insecure my body was completely taken over. I stumbled on this beautiful teaching of hope. So much deep pain thst has been unconscously buried. The past cannot be changed but learning how i feel about myself can.
Thank you Tara for your softness and kindness.🙏🫶

I found this useful to understand the process of making myself feel bad over something I shouldn't and how I can recognise it early on in the future to lessen or prevent the negative effects it brings.