The RAIN of Self-Compassion

This talk and meditation explores three key features of the trance of unworthiness and introduces this guided meditation based on the acronym RAIN (Recognize, Allow, Investigate, Nurture) that awakens self-compassion and de-conditions the suffering of being at war with ourselves.

Transcript

The following meditation is led by Tara Brach.

As you come into stillness,

Take a few full breaths,

A nice deep in-breath and a slow out-breath.

And again a nice deep full in-breath,

Filling the chest,

Filling the lungs.

And then a slow out-breath,

Feeling the sensations of the breath as you exhale.

And then letting the breath resume in its natural rhythm,

Just feel this body breathing and take some moments to scan in your life.

And you might notice where in your relationships with others or in your own behaviors you feel like you have turned on yourself in some way.

You might be in a situation where you are in conflict with another person but feeling bad about yourself.

It might be that you have turned on yourself,

You are at war with yourself for a way that you are behaving as a parent,

A partner,

A friend.

You might be judging yourself or down on yourself for something to do with work or maybe it is for an addictive behavior.

Where do you get into the trance of unworthiness,

The trance of not okay?

And let your attention go to that place where you know you get into the trance and for now just let yourself kind of get close into it so you can feel the sense of how it is to be living inside that mind-state of the belief that in some way you are falling short,

You should be different.

Perhaps there is a sense of not lovable,

Not okay,

Not respectable.

Something is wrong.

We begin the reign of self-compassion by recognizing how this is trance,

At war with myself,

Recognizing the thoughts and feelings of the trance,

Just allowing that all to be here right now.

We are making room for what is here.

The A of RAIN is just to allow this is how it is right now.

We begin to investigate with curiosity,

With gentleness.

So what is it like when I am in this trance?

You might sense what you are believing about yourself and other people if that comes quickly,

Just you know,

What is the belief right there?

I should be different?

I am bad because I am hurting others?

No one could love me?

I will always fail?

Just sense what might be built in there,

What kind of core belief.

And most important,

Feel your body and sense when you are in the trance of unworthiness what is it like in your body?

What does your throat feel like,

Your chest,

Your belly,

When you are really feeling bad about yourself?

The most important part of investigating is connecting with the embodied experience.

Sense the most vulnerable part of you,

Where you feel the worst.

Sense what that part most needs.

The part that feels deficient,

Not okay,

What does it need?

Does it need to be seen in a different way and loved,

Understood,

Held?

Just sense that.

And as you are listening into that,

As you are feeling into that place in you that is feeling not okay,

You might experiment with putting your hand on your heart,

Just lightly,

A very tender touch.

And this is the beginning of turning towards loving,

Towards the N of RAIN,

The nourishing.

And sense the possibility of offering what is most needed inwardly.

Perhaps there is words that you might offer.

Sometimes it is okay,

Sweetheart,

Or I am sorry and I love you.

Thich Nhat Hanh says,

Darling,

I care about this suffering is a powerful phrase.

It might be as the minister that you sense the love of the God or the divine flowing through you or for me that kiss on the brow of pure care.

Sense the possibility of calling on love and offering it inward.

Refresh with self-compassion.

Each time you nourish with self-compassion let it be a fresh,

Creative exploration of what really allows you to feel love flowing into your own being.

You might imagine light,

Warmth pouring in.

Just the intention to offer care inwardly begins to decondition that tendency to be at war.

The meditation becomes full when after the steps of RAIN we simply notice,

Who am I if I am not any longer believing anything is wrong?

Feeling that tenderness,

The openness,

The spaciousness of being when we are not at war.

From the teachings of Bapuji,

An Indian master,

He says,

My beloved child,

Break your heart no longer.

Each time you judge yourself you break your own heart.

You stop feeding on the love which is the wellspring of your vitality.

The time has come,

Your time,

To live,

To celebrate and see the goodness that you are.

Let no one,

No thing,

No idea or ideal obstruct you.

If one comes even the name of truth forgive it for its unknowing.

Do not fight,

Let go and breathe into the goodness that you are.

Do not fight,

Let go and breathe into the goodness that you are.

Do not fight,

Let go and breathe into the goodness that you are.

Reviews

This is the healing message I needed in the middle of a mentally rough night. My heart and body thank you deeply.

This was lovely. Thank you for your kind words to help me set in motion to find more self love.

Spoke directly to me in a cave of self-hate. It really was a wash of calm and love.

This has really helped, I feel relieved and free inside.

I like your concepts of loving myself for who I am. And not judging myself.

Thank you so much
To breathe into the goodness that I am, that is going to help me sleep so good tonight.

A path and practice of self compassion. Thank you.

Thank you for everything Tara, you have no idea how much I hold into your words, you are a safe space inside me

Powerful. Brought me to tears. I will return again.

Very helpful when I was having a rough mental health moment to shift that energy for the better, will keep on hand for whenever I need to ground and get through a tough moment

This is one of my favourite meditation when "my beast" has hold of me. Thank you Tara, always there when I need.❤️

Beautiful. This track is kindness itself; real, grounded and honest guidance through quotes and questions from such a gentle yet strong voice.
The last quote is one I must write out to refer back to daily. Going to listen again, right now. Thank you for being there when I really needed to hear everything you said.
A profound message of being kind to oneself. 💫💕🙏

Have listened quite a few times to this -I am not sure if I would call it a meditation- tender supportive guidance. The quote at the end is like an arrow in my fragile heart; thank you 💜

I love the pace and clarity of your explanation of RAIN. Thank you 🙏

Greatful humble beautiful with courage and purpose amen and so it is

This is the perfect reset, short and sweet and to the point. Great when emotions are high or feeling super low.

Tara has such a soothing voice, I always feel centered after her meditations. Got introduced to her on the calm app and glad she’s here too!

love this it straightens me out and allows me to speak with loving kindness to myself i Am enough

Great!! I’ve used RAIN before in recovery or mental health meetings, but without the explanation. Putting one hand on my heart and one on my belly helped me connect. You are one of my favorites Ms Brach💕🙏🏻🧘‍♀️

Amazing to feel the physical changes on the body as I did this. Took me a very long way back. Thank you