Do you struggle to relax and enjoy just being rather than doing?
Does your mind keep reminding you of all your unachieved goals,
Obligations and incomplete tasks?
And are you constantly thinking about all the things you need to do or should do?
If so,
EFT can help.
But before we get tapping,
Let me ask you a few more questions.
What stops you from enjoying downtime and the simple pleasures in life that have nothing to do with productivity,
Efficiency and achieving?
Is it fear?
Is there a part of you that fears that you won't be loved,
Admired,
Respected by others or maybe even yourself?
Are you worried people will think you are a failure,
Lazy,
Incompetent,
Unaccomplished or think that you are wasting your life away?
Or maybe you have a harsh inner critic that keeps whispering these ideas that you aren't good enough,
That you don't measure up,
That you are less than.
Or are you seeking recognition?
Are you trying to prove to yourself or others or both that you are worthy,
Driven,
Hardworking,
Dependable?
And does all the striving make you feel any better or does it make you feel worse because you feel constant pressure and that there is always more you could be doing and achieving?
So now that we have some ideas about what is driving all the doing,
We can turn our attention to being.
What does being even look like?
Well,
Being involves being fully present in your body in the moment.
You are aware of what you see,
Hear,
Feel,
Taste,
Smell and touch and you can perceive your body's position and movement.
You let go of the mind and all of its constant scheming,
Strategising and planning and instead fully sink into sensory awareness.
You feel relaxed and at peace.
You are present,
There is only now,
No past,
No future,
Just what is happening right now in this present moment.
There is nothing to do other than enjoying the moment you currently find yourself in.
Yes,
You could go for a run because you put pressure on yourself to look a certain way or maintain a certain level of fitness.
The motivation is for a future better self.
Or maybe you could take a stroll for pure enjoyment with no agenda.
You notice the birds chirping,
Droplets of rain glistening on leaves after a recent rain shower and feel the cool air touching your skin.
Your mind has an agenda in the going for a run example.
The mind has no agenda in the walking example.
It doesn't add value for anyone else.
It is just for your enjoyment,
Your relaxation and your sense of peace.
Both involve movement but only one is about the need to prove something to yourself or others.
So with all that in mind,
Let's shift our focus to finding a way to shift out of doing and into a state of being more often.
Make yourself comfortable in a seated position.
Relax your body into the surface supporting you and feel your feet touching the floor.
Now take in a comfortable settling breath before gently letting it go in your own time along with any tension you are holding in your shoulders,
Jaw or torso.
Now I invite you to imagine yourself taking a couple of hours this weekend to just enjoy being.
No tasks,
No chores,
No obligations,
No self-improvement,
No giving in to the demands of others.
Just time to be.
How much resistance do you feel when imagining this?
Has your mind already started chattering?
Do you feel some part of your body tightening at just the idea of doing nothing?
Just notice what is happening and rate your resistance on a scale of 0 to 10 with 10 representing complete resistance and 0 no resistance at all.
Once you know your level of resistance,
Start tapping on the side of your hand with four fingers and repeat after me but changing any words that better suit what you are feeling.
Even though I feel resistance,
When I think about doing nothing,
I acknowledge how I feel in this moment.
I acknowledge how I feel in this moment.
Even though my mind struggles,
With the idea of letting go of doing,
Even for a small amount of time,
I recognise that fear is behind this constant drive to do more.
Even though I find it really hard to relax and just enjoy being in the moment,
I can now see that there is a part of me that is just trying to keep me safe.
Going to the top of the head,
All this resistance.
Eyebrow,
My mind won't let me just be.
Outer eye,
It is always reminding me that there is something that needs doing.
Under the eye,
I find it so hard to relax.
Under the nose,
Without feeling guilty or pressure.
Under the mouth,
Maybe there is a part of me that is afraid.
Collarbone,
That I will be perceived as lazy or unworthy.
Under the arm,
Maybe there is a part of me trying to keep me safe.
Top of the head,
I wonder if I can dial down this inner critic.
Eyebrow,
That is so concerned with doing and achieving.
Outer eye,
Maybe I can let all parts of me know.
Under the eye,
That I am worthy of love and respect.
Under the nose,
Even when I am not being productive.
Under the mouth,
Maybe I can let go of this societal conditioning.
Collarbone,
That we are only useful when we are productive.
Under the arm,
Maybe I can start to release some of this fear.
Top of the head,
Setting the intention to dial down my inner critic.
Eyebrow,
And to release all this pressure coming from my mind.
Outer eye,
Choosing to let go of this resistance.
Under the eye,
So that I can hop off the hamster wheel of constant doing.
Under the eye,
So that I can hop off the hamster wheel of constant doing.
Under the nose,
Allowing myself to just be.
Under the mouth,
Letting go of all this pressure to do more and be more.
Collarbone,
Accepting that I need time and space to do nothing.
Under the arm,
Releasing any resistance I feel.
Towards taking some time out to relax.
And enjoy the feeling of just being.
Release the tapping for a moment and take in a comfortable breath before exhaling slowly and gently.
Now I want you to return to imagining taking a couple of hours this weekend to just enjoy being.
What do you notice when you tune back in?
Has your resistance lessened any?
Has your score out of 10 changed?
Just feel into what is happening in your body so that you can notice any shifts.
Now let's return to tapping on the side of the hand and repeat after me.
Even though I struggle to relax.
Because there is so much to do.
What would it be like to just allow myself to enjoy a couple of hours of relaxation?
Even though I find it hard to just be.
I wonder what would happen if I stopped putting so much pressure on myself.
Even though I have all this fear,
Driving me to always be productive.
Because there is a part of me that learned at some point.
That producing results is the only way to be lovable,
Respected and valued.
I wonder if it is possible to change this limiting subconscious belief.
Going to the top of the head,
I often struggle to relax.
Eyebrow,
I often struggle to just be in the present moment.
Outer eye,
My strong inner critic is always on my case.
Under the eye,
To do more and be more.
Under the nose,
I don't feel like I can take time out.
Under the mouth,
I find it hard to set boundaries.
Collarbone,
That would allow me to create the time for just being.
Under the arm,
With no pressure.
Top of the head,
What would it be like to carve out some time for myself?
Eyebrow,
To just enjoy being.
Outer eye,
Quit creating this space for myself.
Under the eye,
Result in increased creativity and energy.
Under the nose,
An increased efficiency.
When I return my focus to being productive.
Under the mouth,
Maybe giving myself permission to relax,
Could actually boost my productivity.
Collarbone,
So maybe my inner critic doesn't need to fear taking time out to relax after all.
Under the arm,
What would happen if I create space for myself?
Top of the head,
Would I feel happier and more relaxed?
Eyebrow,
What other positive changes might happen?
Outer eye,
I'm curious to find out.
Under the eye,
Can I soften into the idea of just being even too productive?
Can I be 100% more?
Under the nose,
Can I let go of this belief?
Under the mouth,
That I'm only worthy and admired if I'm productive.
Collarbone,
This old belief that might not even be mine.
Under the arm,
Choosing to let go of this old belief now.
Top of the head,
I'm picking up the story.
Eyebrow,
That I'm worthy of love and respect even when I'm doing nothing.
Outer eye,
And that choosing to be in the present moment on a regular basis.
Under the eye,
Is good for me and for those around me.
Under the nose,
I'm open to the possibility that I can find balance.
Between doing and being.
Under the mouth,
And that I can let go of all the mind chatter and pressure.
Collarbone,
To do more and be more.
Under the arm,
Choosing to release the pressure of obligations.
Choosing to release the pressure of obligations.
Top of the head,
Choosing to let go of the worry that I will be perceived as lazy.
Eyebrow,
Choosing to release the fear that I will be viewed as a failure.
Outer eye,
Choosing to release the fear that I'm wasting my life away.
Under the eye,
Choosing to let go of the pressure to be more.
Under the nose,
And do more.
Under the mouth,
Choosing to let go of the need for recognition from others.
Collarbone,
Embracing the idea of just being.
And surrendering to being in the present moment as often as I can.
Under the arm,
Choosing to just be.
Release the tapping and take in a comfortable breath before exhaling gently and slowly in your own time.
Now close your eyes and tune back into your body.
What do you notice happening now when you imagine carving out a couple of hours this weekend to just be?
Has your score out of 10 decreased?
Has the tension in your body softened?
Has the mental resistance eased further?
Let's do one last round of tapping so that we can release any remaining resistance,
Fear or concerns around taking time out to just be.
Tapping on the side of the hand,
Repeat after me adjusting any words as needed.
Even though I have struggled to fully relax in the past.
I look forward to spending more time.
Just soaking in the present moment with no agenda.
Even though I used to feel all this pressure.
To be more and do more.
I now choose to trust.
That it is safe to spend more time.
Just relaxing and being.
Even though I had a hard time.
Silencing my inner critic in the past.
I'm curious to see what is possible.
Now that I have acknowledged the drivers.
Behind this mental pressure to do more and be more.
Going to the top of the head.
I am safe.
Eyebrow.
It is safe to spend time relaxing.
Outer eye.
And to spend time doing what I enjoy.
Under the eye.
Everything that needs to be done will get done.
Under the nose.
And it is safe to take some time out.
Under the mouth.
Choosing to enjoy more of life.
Collarbone.
Giving myself permission to just be.
Under the arm.
And to enjoy the present moment more often.
Top of the head.
Letting go of any remaining resistance.
Fears or concerns.
Eyebrow.
So that I can take time out to just be.
Outer eye.
Choosing to feel into my sensory awareness more often.
Under the eye.
Knowing that I'm enough.
Under the nose.
Even when I'm not being productive.
Under the mouth.
Accepting all parts of me.
Collarbone.
Choosing to value the need to just be.
Under the arm.
Releasing any last remnants of resistance to just being.
Release the tapping and take in a comfortable breath before releasing it gently and easily along with any last remnants of doubt that it is safe to take time out to just be.
Now tune into your body one last time and notice what has changed.
Hopefully you are feeling more relaxed and less resistant to the idea of taking time out to just be.
If not,
I encourage you to return to this tapping meditation on a regular basis.
Societal conditioning around being constantly productive is pervasive and it can take some time to break down and release this conditioning fully.
Consistency is key when attempting to change long-held beliefs and create positive change in your life.
And as you give yourself more and more permission to surrender into enjoying the present moment with no agenda,
You will show the fearful parts of you that there is nothing to fear and that if anything,
Taking time out to relax and enjoy life results in many upsides.
Until we tap again,
I hope you get to enjoy many moments of just being and the resulting peace.
