I am Stephen Webb,
And welcome to a meditation for healthy boundaries.
And the kind that keep you safe without shutting the world out.
I like the phrase,
Gates you can open,
Not walls that are closed.
If you just allow your body to relax in this moment.
Allow your shoulders to relax and your face.
Allow your arms and fingers to relax.
Including your back and your belly and your legs.
The body knows how to relax,
We just allow it to happen.
And then become aware of your breath.
Aware that you're breathing in.
Nowhere that you're breathing out.
And just become the observer.
Observing the breath.
Observing that your body is sat here and relaxing.
And you can feel the quiet.
You're the observer that can hear my words.
We don't need to do anything with the body.
And just while you're settling in.
I will use the word boundary.
And all I mean is knowing what we can carry today and what we cannot.
It's not a wall,
It's a gate that we can look after.
And we can choose when it opens.
So as you become aware of your breath.
Breathing in calm,
Breathing out relaxed.
And let this moment be what it is.
You may notice the mind going a little quieter.
Especially as the body just settles into this moment.
And imagine for a moment a wall that is built around ourselves.
A big one.
All the way around.
Is to keep out everything that stings.
Every sharp word or every rude driver.
Every worry,
Everything that we feel uncomfortable about.
Every group of people perhaps you have struggling with go into functions and lots of people.
And how tempting this is.
The quiet,
The safety.
Nobody can touch us.
We can just feel lovely and calm.
No one can hurt us.
And I think apart from the war at first,
It feels wonderful.
It feels safe.
By having a nice bubble around us.
And here's the strange thing.
Inside the wall our own strength goes soft.
We never need our courage.
So he gets sleepy.
We never need our wisdom,
So it starts to go quiet.
Very much like a leg in plaster.
It's protected,
So when you take it out,
It'll leak.
And one day when we're in the real world.
When we've got to go to that place.
And we always have to eventually.
We need people.
We're interdependent on people.
We need help,
We need love.
And then we open the door and the world comes in.
You and the world never reads our rules.
Nobody out there knows our boundaries.
They come in and they help themselves to our emotions.
The problem is our rules are only ever written on the inside of the wall.
And nobody takes notice of the outside.
So what if we try something different?
A garden with a gate.
And just imagine feeling what this would feel like.
We tend to what grows inside of us instead.
And their wisdom.
Knowing what is ours to carry and what is not.
A little strength.
Trust in we can meet what comes.
And a little kindness.
For ourselves and then for everyone at the gate.
And you can stay inside generally.
I have boundaries.
They are not set in stone.
I can open the gate.
I can close the gate.
And whatever comes through it.
I have the wisdom and the strength to meet it.
And three gentle wishes.
For you today.
Maybe you want to place your hand on your heart.
Just feel these.
May I be safe.
With my gate open.
May I be safe with my gate open.
May I be loved just as I am.
May I be loved just as I am.
May I be strong enough to let the world in.
May I be strong enough to let the world in.
And the boundary was never meant to be a prison.
It's a garden edge.
And you hold the key.
And some days the gate stays shut and that is fine.
Most days it can be opened a little wider than we think.
And in a moment I'll guide you back.
And I want you to take this back with you today.
And that is healthy boundaries have gates.
And if we can build our strength and wisdom to deal with the world out there,
We no longer need to build these walls.
So five,
Just feel the room and feel your body.
Four,
Just gently open your eyes.
Three,
Just shake out your arms,
Your fingers and toes.
And maybe just move your body a little bit.
Two,
Look around.
And one,
Just take a deeper breath and just.
How much better does it feel to know that you can open the gate?
These boundaries are not absolute,
They're not solid.
They are for you to use.
Thank you for doing this meditation with me today.
Thank you for being brave and opening up.
If you don't follow me,
Please do so,
So you'll know when I release new meditations.
And I always very much deeply appreciate your support.
