Taming Your Inner Critic; Healing The Voice Of Shame

Each of us have areas of our life we feel imperfect, judge ourselves and feel shameful. By tuning into it, allowing space for it to be present, inquiring into its origins we can unroot the causes of shame that binds us. This is a practice to find peace by resting in open hearted awareness and learning to trust in our innate goodness. Befriending your Inner Critic by engaging with this part of yourself is a potent step on the path of healing and wholeness.

Transcript

Hello.

Welcome to your daily meditation.

Please find a comfortable seat.

And today I would like to speak about taming our inner critic.

And I'll wait just a second.

Just so we are a couple more.

I hope you're well wherever you are.

I hope you had a good weekend.

And I hope that you are feeling the subtle changes and the effects of cultivating self-awareness.

And one of the major components that has really helped me a lot is understanding and befriending my inner critic.

And I've been wanting to talk about this for a while now,

But it's such a broad subject and everybody really perceives the emotion of shame differently.

And the critic that we have within ourselves is actually from my understanding and my studies comes from that emotion of shame and sense of worthlessness that we all have.

Because back in the day,

When we were dependent and really needed to be living in tribes,

If we weren't accepted by the tribe and if we didn't belong or for some reason we were shunned,

It meant our life.

And I know that,

And we know that now,

Clearly it's not,

It's no longer true,

But I'm talking about this deep,

Deep impulse and shame reaction that we have within ourselves.

And how difficult it is to touch upon it and to heal it.

I mean,

I don't want to say it's difficult,

But I'm saying unless we talk about it,

Unless we discuss our internal critic,

Unless we discuss that part of ourselves that is judging and that is narrating what we're doing and critiquing us,

It's something that can go uncovered for our lifetime.

It's very deep.

And so today I would like for us to dive into our practice,

To touch upon and notice our inner critic and those areas in our life where we judge ourselves.

And understanding that we all do this again,

And that we have developed addictive behaviors and patterns and beliefs from this very deep emotion of shame.

And how this practice of becoming aware of it and expressing compassion towards our areas of imperfection is a very powerful practice.

So please close your eyes if you haven't already.

And take a moment to find a comfortable seat that you can relax into.

Feeling the support of the ground beneath you.

And remembering your breath.

Let's breathe together to begin our meditation.

A deep breath in.

And a long,

Deep exhale out your mouth.

Exhale all the air out.

Squeeze the air out of your belly.

Notice the stillness in your body.

Hold the air out.

And then breathe in again.

Suspend your breath.

Exhale out your mouth.

Exhale with sound,

Relaxing,

Releasing,

Letting go.

Exhaling your breath completely.

Hold the air out.

Ground yourself.

Anchor yourself.

And then last time,

Breathing in.

And out.

So as we turn our gaze inwards and notice those areas in our life where we hear the inner critic.

Where we feel judgment towards ourselves.

Notice those areas in your life where you're feeling imperfect.

And asking yourself,

Where am I reacting to imperfection?

In my own body.

In my heart.

And in my mind.

Where do I feel shame?

Aversion.

Or simply feeling down on myself.

And if there's a situation that triggers it.

Whether it's a relationship,

An addictive behavior.

Something in your work.

Let that be at the foreground of your meditation today.

Just giving yourself this space to welcome.

This shameful part of you that is triggered when you're in that situation.

And giving yourself this opportunity to stay in the present moment by feeling the weight of your body as it's grounded.

But allow yourself to feel that feeling of unworthiness in your own body.

And using the technique called RAIN,

Recognizing what's there.

Is there shame?

Is there fear?

And mentally whisper to yourself what you're noticing.

And as you whisper to yourself,

Allow that to awaken your.

.

.

Witness that aware and awake part of yourself.

The part of yourself that can see your own pain and suffering.

And always remembering that you have your breath as your guide through this practice.

Because I know it isn't an easy practice.

So I'm inviting you to stay and lean into those aspects of yourself.

That part of yourself that judges and criticizes yourself and others.

And noticing the resistance or the struggle in your body as you feel these wounded parts.

Noticing the sensations or the tightness in your heart.

And breathing there.

Letting them be.

Turning towards yourself with gentleness and a kind and interested attention.

What are you believing when you turn upon yourself?

That you are unworthy or unlovable.

What belief comes to mind?

And let yourself really feel that feeling of shame or badness in your body.

What does it feel like?

Is there a color?

Where in the body are you feeling it?

And inviting you to put a hand there.

If it's in your heart or on your belly.

Feeling the touch of your own hand upon your skin.

And giving yourself this space and permission to see your own suffering.

And noticing that compassionate presence,

You might want to bring in an image.

Of the divine.

An image of the Buddha or Jesus or.

Simply noticing the nature.

And turn towards yourself with this awareness.

And ask yourself,

Where did I learn this behavior?

Where did I learn this shame?

Was it something that was mere to you as a child?

Or was it something.

A trauma.

That you have experienced or that you.

Have received through your bloodline.

As generational trauma.

Is pain that is passed through us.

So this is your opportunity to simply sit in the stillness of your body.

And see.

Those areas and those pockets of yourself where you are holding judgment.

Holding pain,

Holding shame.

Seeing the streams of the conditioning.

And how you learn to be the way that you are.

And then sending the message inward.

It's not your fault.

It's not your fault.

It's not your fault.

And as you allow your heart to open and soften.

Receiving those words of truth.

So that you may heal.

And feel bathed.

In this compassionate presence.

Letting the love in.

Becoming one.

With it.

And holding yourself.

With compassion.

As if you're comforting a friend in need.

Or a young child.

Letting them know that it's going to be all right.

That you're here now.

And let's take three deep purging breaths.

Deeply inhaling to your heart.

Filling up yourself with this deep sense of acceptance.

And exhale out your mouth deeply letting go.

Exhaling,

Exhaling.

Letting go of the beliefs of unworthiness.

Letting go.

Draining down into the ground.

And then breathing in again.

And exhale out your mouth with sound.

Exhale all the air out.

Releasing,

Letting go of that stagnant energy.

Letting go of the shame,

Of the judgment.

Really seeing it leave your body.

And then breathe in again.

Exhale.

Exhale all the air out.

Exhaling,

Exhaling.

Now resting in that open hearted presence.

Who are you when you are not believing there's something wrong with you?

Sensing that possibility of truth.

Of this compassion and this loving awareness as it fills up your body.

And trusting in your innate goodness.

Remembering that connection.

Remembering to trust in your innate goodness.

Beyond the stories.

Beyond the scripts.

Beneath your personality.

What is your deepest intention?

And let your heart answer.

And ask yourself what will help me align with my deepest intention.

And as you breathe in and out of your heart.

Feeling that connection to the abundance.

Of your internal grace.

And joy.

That internal love.

And the innate wells of wisdom that you hold.

That you touch upon when you acknowledge the pain.

And asking yourself how can I live today in this grounded presence.

And see yourself.

Imbued with the qualities.

Whether it be patience.

More generosity.

More self-care.

More gratitude.

And as you turn this loving awareness upon yourself.

As if you're sitting in the sunshine.

Feel the warm.

Warmth of the sun touching your forehead.

Touching into your heart.

Into your belly.

And let it go into your veins.

Healing you.

And repeating to yourself,

I am worthy.

I am whole.

I am courageous.

I am fierce.

And then extending this wholeness and goodness of the heart towards others as this is our natural inclination as humans to share.

To be united as communities.

To show up.

For others with this wholeness.

Imagining all the beings on our planet and elsewhere.

May we all be happy.

May we all be healthy.

May we all feel safe.

And may each and every one of us live in peace.

And let's take three deep breaths to release our meditation.

Deep breath in.

And a long deep exhale.

I exhale all the air out,

Remembering your center.

Breathe in.

Out.

Grounding presence.

Breathe in.

And breathe out trust.

And I'm noticing this resonance when you're in your heart and connected.

And how powerful it is to acknowledge these parts of ourselves.

And I really commend you on your practice.

And I am here if you have any questions.

And inviting you to step out into your day with this sense of being at home in your body.

And noticing when your internal critic appears,

I recommend you find a name for him or her.

I have to say mine used to be called.

.

.

Gremlin?

Demon?

I used to have a lot of different names.

I have to say that he doesn't come like he used to.

He really doesn't come.

This is a practice.

And you'll notice by becoming aware of the critic,

Naming it and beginning to have a dialogue with it.

Like,

Oh,

You're back again.

Hello?

And ask what they need.

Have these.

.

.

Use your imagination.

Instead of numbing or ignoring or projecting onto others.

So thank you so much.

And my love goes out to each of you.

And please share these meditations with anyone who you feel would receive from them,

Would benefit from them.

And I will see you tomorrow.

So nice to see you here from New York,

From Ibiza,

Everywhere.

Have a good day.

It feels so good to be connected to each of you.

Thank you for showing up.

See you tomorrow.

Bye,

Everybody.

Have a nice Paris.

J.

C.

,

Love you.

Reviews

Thank you so much for this. Helped me return to center during a difficult moment.

A beautifully gentle invitation into awareness and origin of feelings that need to be released. Thank you for helping me take more steps on my journey of healing.

Beautiful. Powerful. Strong. Healing. Exactly what I needed on this day when some pieces finally fell into place and I began to understand the origins of the depth of body shame I’ve carried almost all my life. Thank you

thank you 🙏this was wonderful. today has been a challenge after 1.5yrs of struggling with work induced stress and suicidal thoughts I returned to the job I love as a firefighter 🚒 but when they got a shout I coukdnt get on the truck 😔 clearly it is gonna be one step at a time ... but this meditation really helped me ... and brought me to tears.
blessings to you. Rob 😊 🙏

That was incredible. Brought tears to my eyes but peace to my heart. I desperately needed this, but didn't know I did. Thank Providence your meditation found me, and thank you for your wonderful gift.