66. Intuition: Your Roadmap To Better Destinations

Did you know you have a superpower? Our intuition, that gut feeling we can get, is rooted in the energy of the universe and gives us the power to see beyond the logic and facts in front of us. When we put in the spiritual work to live a life of purpose, our intuition strengthens, helping us make the right choices and receive the answers we seek. Tune in as Monica & Michael share tips and tools for developing our intuition, which, in turn, leads us toward the true desires of our soul.

Transcript

There's so much more that we can know,

Which means that I know that I can live a life where every second of my life and every question that I have is answered.

But in order to do that,

In order to really be able to receive those messages and hear them clearly,

I have to be feeding my soul and making it more alive and making it able to receive those messages and direct them.

Welcome to the Spiritually Hungry podcast episode 66.

So you've heard about women's intuition.

There's a scientific reason.

Women's intuition.

That I am more intuitive than you,

Michael.

Women's corpus callosum,

The connective white matter that connects our left and right brain hemispheres together is thicker than men's.

This more substantial brain superhighway gives us women better and faster abilities to access each hemisphere,

Further integrating women's emotion and gut feelings with more logical left hemisphere into our decision making process.

That's why I am more often correct.

Basically women's brains have superpowers and are actually optimized for rapid intuitive decision making.

Really?

Interesting.

It is very interesting.

I'm going to tell you some more interesting come back.

I'll have to review that science.

Yeah,

You can do that.

Sure.

You should do that all night tonight.

There's a paradox though.

Researchers have consistently found confidence and self-esteem to be dramatically lower in women compared to men,

Resulting in women being far more likely to second guess themselves,

Doubt their abilities and have trouble making concrete decisions.

Interesting.

Right.

Where things get particularly tricky is when we ignore intuition about other people,

Especially in close relationships.

What's often referred to as missing the signs or the red flags.

Of course,

What brings to mind is a terrible tragedy we've seen unfold recently in the murder of Gabby Petito by her boyfriend.

I'm not going to go into the details,

But if you followed from the time that they.

.

.

I mean when they were dating,

But then when they started the summer out on the road trip and you could see each of them,

There's a lot of red flags that some saw,

Some didn't,

But we're going to delve into this to see how we can be more intuitive and really see the things,

The signs that we all are able to.

Hopefully today's podcast will inspire us to tap into our intuition and learn to identify the red flags that keep us safe.

Do you want to add something?

Yes.

I was thinking,

Well,

It's not just about the red flags,

Right?

Red flags is to the negative.

I think we also often miss positive intuition that can lead us to better paths,

To better relationships and so on.

Caballistically,

We know that we each have within us certainly the ability,

The potential to get all the messages that we need,

Whether it's about relationships,

Whether it's about business,

Whether it's about any area of our lives,

But that there's a process we need to go to,

To be able to both be able to trust our intuition,

Because maybe we'll get into this,

But there's forms of intuition that are not based on,

I would say,

Our soul.

I think we gave the example,

I think it was last podcast with doctors,

For example.

We often like to choose doctors,

Certainly qualified,

But that the ego is not overblown because ego can often obscure intuition.

I think when we talk about the importance of intuition,

It's not just as some might think some people have it,

Some people don't,

But rather you want your life to be directed by what we call our soul.

That comes forward not as fact,

But as intuition.

Developing that intuition is a very important tool that each one of us needs to better ourselves,

To grow,

And to find all the answers that we need.

But I think it begins with the understanding that you are being directed all the time.

You are receiving answers all the time,

But you have to be able to hear it.

And we also have those answers innately within us.

Exactly.

We've just come to a place where we've shut out our own voice and we've heightened other people's.

I do think that for sure intuition can be developed,

Which we'll go into in a little bit.

But I do want to go back a bit because I think that,

And you know,

You always like to go straight to the positive and the spiritual aspect and how to kind of grow that.

And of course that's ultimately where we want to arrive.

But I think it's important to see why we quiet our own voices and why we don't pay attention to things that we see over and over again.

You know,

One of my favorite quotes is when people show you who they are,

Believe them.

And so often we convince ourselves not to see or feel what we see and feel.

So some basic red flags,

And I think that this can especially be warnings in terms of relationships,

Romantic or otherwise.

So some of the red flags that we ignore is the inability to resolve conflicts and communicate effectively or your friends and family members have expressed concerns about your partner or relationship.

And while I often say it doesn't matter what other people think,

Sometimes we're so blind by what's in front of us because we have our own desires or agenda to make something work.

We're not willing to let go of it that we,

Again,

Quiet that internal.

And so sometimes having people who love us point things out to us is helpful.

You're constantly conceding rather than compromising.

Lack of transparency around one's past or having a dark past full of toxic relationships,

Many unresolved.

Another telling sign is how your partner speaks about their exes.

History of infidelity.

Giving your friends interests or goals for the relationship,

Giving up on them.

Giving up your friends interests,

Your friends,

Your interests and goals for the relationship.

I mean,

You know,

There's many people that I've had in my life for like,

Not many,

But if you come to mind for 20,

30 years and then a new romance comes in and a toxic one at that and then they just,

You know,

They forget everything for that time.

Pressure to become too serious too fast.

Lying or breaches of trust,

Abuse of any kind,

Emotional,

Verbal,

Physical,

Sexual,

Financial,

Gaslighting and addiction.

So another thing I think,

Because I want to just cover the science a little bit,

We have a,

Let's talk about the gut brain for a second.

I thought this was really fascinating data.

At one time,

Humans had a smaller skull than we do now and it primarily consisted of the limbic brain.

That's the deep emotional intuitive part of the brain surrounded by a slim sliver of the outer cortex.

Over time,

Our digestive tract shrank as our outer cortex grew becoming as dense as the limbic brain.

The growth of this rational part of the brain resulted in articulated speech and the ability to predict and plan for the future.

As we became more logical and able to communicate and exist in larger tribes,

We talked more and felt less.

So there's always like a biological evolutionary thing that happens that is very telling to where we are today.

So we moved away from emotions and intuition to logic and facts.

And now we live in a world that values logic and considers emotion as weak for the most part,

Unless you listen to us,

I suppose,

Very often we talk about the importance of it.

It seems like decisions based on intuition have little or no place in today's society.

Over time,

We've neglected the gut and the limbic brain and placed the cortex on a pedestal.

Interesting.

Right.

So what we're saying is not that of course you need logic,

But that there's at least probably an equal,

If not more than equal amount of our life's direction that should be flowing from our intuition.

Correct.

But I think,

Again,

I think for many people,

Not developing our intuition will leave us lost.

It's not just,

Okay,

So up until now I've made my decisions based on logic.

In one second,

I'm going to start making my decisions based on intuition.

It doesn't work that way,

Right?

Because you have to both develop intuition and develop it properly.

Correct.

And part of developing that,

I thought this was a really interesting thing also,

Scientifically research suggests that the brain is a large predictive machine constantly comparing incoming sensory information and current experience against stored knowledge and memories of previous experiences and predicting what will come next.

Sorry,

Can you say that again?

I'm going to explain it.

So I'm going to break it down to you.

This ensures that the brain is always as prepared to deal with the current situation as optimally possible.

So let me give you an example.

When we receive information from our environment,

Such as a tone of voice,

A facial expression,

Hand gesture,

Or body posture,

Our brain begins rapidly matching that input to stored memories.

You may not know it,

But the alarm bells that were set off by the expression on your coworker's face could have come from a mental matching to an expression that your hypercritical third grade teacher used to make.

So I think it's just,

First of all,

Important to be able to see we are influenced by many,

Many things,

Past,

Present experiences,

Future fears or worries or concerns,

But our brain is constantly trying to make sense of what we're experiencing.

So I think the first thing is,

Full stop,

If you want to start developing your intuition,

Is to take seriously whatever it is that you are seeing or feeling.

It doesn't mean that everything is truth,

Right?

But it's to be able to pause and say,

Okay,

There's a lot of things happening here that I'm aware of and I'm unaware of,

To just start at that one space.

From there,

You can build up and on to say,

Okay,

And then that of course requires emotional intelligence,

But where is this coming from?

What is this feeling bringing up?

So for instance,

If somebody is terrified of snakes,

How often do we,

Living in New York City,

Come across a snake,

Right?

But if we're terrified,

It's really,

You can say,

Okay,

That's coming from ancestral times where we actually fear if snake was very real,

A real thing.

If you,

For instance,

Are afraid of a break-in one day based on nothing,

Right,

That might be something that you want to.

.

.

In fact,

My friend got in a car accident on Sunday and she had this weird feeling that something all week was going to happen to her car.

After she got in the accident,

She calls her husband.

He's like,

You know what?

I didn't want you to get in the car today.

I don't know why I didn't tell her before she started driving.

She said,

I had a feeling you were going to get in an accident.

That's coming from somewhere.

Absolutely.

I do think though that it's important to point out that intuition isn't just gut reaction.

For example,

Recently I was listening to somebody.

.

.

I like the word reaction.

I'm saying a gut feeling.

Even that's not necessarily what we should be talking about because.

.

.

I'll be the judge of that.

Recently I was listening to somebody and they were talking about relationships.

And what they were saying was,

In my opinion,

Completely wrong.

It was very,

Let's say,

Primal.

It was not sensitive.

It was not in any way evolved.

But then I stopped myself from judging the person by saying,

Listen,

He grew up in a certain environment and this is the best that he got to.

The point is that we're not simply saying clearly that intuition is what you feel inside because unfortunately a lot of people,

Because of the environments they grew up in,

They're what one can call gut or intuition,

However one would call it,

Is not evolved.

And if it's not evolved,

It can lead a person as often it does in the wrong direction.

Well,

What you're saying is you have to know when to take yourself seriously,

Which is why again.

.

.

Because I'll give you an example.

And I wrote this in my book,

Fears on an Option.

If for instance,

A person parks in an underground garage and every day they're terrified this person is going to attack them when they go to their car in the morning when they park it there,

And then again when they come after work and they go,

Okay,

Every day.

Now that is not an intuitive.

That's based on a fear of something that had happened or could happen or a belief system that your parents put in or you watch crime drama every night.

Exactly.

So is it a feeling?

Does it feel real?

Yes.

Is it emotion?

Yes,

It's your emotion.

That's not the intuition I'm talking about.

But let's say you never have that feeling ever and you walk into the garage one day and suddenly,

Right,

The hair is on your arms,

Back of your neck are up.

Your stomach has that feeling.

That is your body signaling something because body,

Mind and spirit is all connected.

That's what I'm saying.

You know,

I'm the first to say you can't take your emotions seriously.

They're indicators of something.

You need to be aware of them.

But it's up to you to be able to decipher and navigate what is real,

What isn't and where it's coming from and why,

Which obviously we're not going to cuss.

That's life's work that each person does for themselves.

But I just want to clarify,

That's what I mean by- Can we go a little bit deeper though?

Always go a little bit deeper.

So there is a biblical story about- Like when you pull out the Bible.

I'm glad you asked.

About a very negative person.

His name was Bilaam.

And he was getting messages,

Call it intuition,

Whatever you want to call it,

Which led him to keep doing the wrong thing.

By the way,

I want you to go further with this,

But I think that's really interesting because I know people who have gone to psychics,

Right?

And there was this one psychic that was like,

I only read at night in the dark,

Like where different kinds of souls come around,

Right?

So I think that if a person is constantly getting negative to do or to- What kind of message was he getting?

Not negative,

Just there was a certain direction he wanted to go.

And even though there was certain hindrances that came up,

He kept pushing through because in his mind he was getting messages,

No,

You should keep going in this way.

He thought it was the right thing to do.

But his agenda was leading that.

Well,

That's exactly my point.

So there's a phrase,

An ancient phrase of wisdom that says,

In the path that a person wants to go,

He is directed.

He or she is directed.

It's a very important understanding.

In the path that a person desires to go,

He or she will be directed,

Which means that if a person is not really developing what I call their soul or what we call,

Kabbalistically,

Their desire to share and against their desire,

Their self,

Their desire to receive for the self alone,

Having intuition could actually be a terrible thing because that intuition which is directed at its core by your true core desires can direct you in the wrong way.

So you're saying that people can be tapped into intuition and actually have things work in that way,

But completely rooted in negativity.

Well,

In their own egg,

And negativity is a strong word,

I would say in their own selfishness and therefore that intuition will lead them in the wrong way.

And if you keep in mind,

It really,

For me,

It's really important to,

Again,

I don't want to sound,

The word is to purify our desire.

What do I mean by that?

By to constantly be looking inside and saying,

Where do I want to go with my life?

Where do I want to go with myself?

And again,

None of us are meant to be perfect,

But at least I know for yourself and for me and for I know many of our listeners,

The basic desire is I want to do good.

The basic desire is I want to accomplish whatever it is that my soul came into this world to accomplish.

That's where you need to start because if a person is not in that place,

If a person is saying,

I just want to do what feels good,

We once had this conversation about one of our children,

I just want to do what feels good in the moment,

Whatever that is.

If at the core level we haven't created a clear compass,

Then a person could have intuition,

A person could have messages,

And it could all be leading them in the wrong direction for them,

Not in any religious or even spiritual sense.

For them,

It will be leading them in the wrong direction.

So I think before we could even talk about developing further intuition,

It's important that we clean our compass.

Let me ask the thing.

Are you positing that somebody who has an agenda that is selfish and through that could probably harm people in the process?

But do they get assistance from a path?

Yes,

They do.

So how does that work?

They do.

Well,

My father would often use this example.

It's like our understanding,

We spoke about this in one of the podcasts,

That God isn't the guy in the sky.

It's an energy.

It's a pure,

Simple energy as electricity.

So with electricity,

Whatever you plug into electricity will go on.

So if you plug in a light,

Suddenly you have light.

If you plug in a fork with your head holding on to it,

You get shocked.

And it's not that the electricity is angry at you and therefore it's just the nature of electricity,

It flows.

If you put a fork in the socket,

You'll get a shock.

If you put a light in there,

It will bring light.

And therefore,

Because that's the understanding,

And this leads to that phrase that we said before,

That light is flowing all the time.

Intuition is flowing,

Direction is flowing all the time.

But you direct it with your internal compass.

If your basic desire is to be a selfish- But a shock is an assistance.

A shock is a shock.

No,

But it's.

.

.

No,

I meant that as an example.

The source is still- You're getting it.

You're going to get it,

But you can get it and use it in a positive way by putting a light fixture in the socket.

Or you can do the wrong thing,

But put your fork in hand in the socket,

You'll get a shock which obviously will not feel good.

But the point is,

The electrical current is not deciding,

I like you,

I don't like you.

It's just that that's the way it flows.

And again,

You put positive things in there,

Light will shine.

You put a fork in there,

You'll get a shock.

So when we talk about what direction that a person.

.

.

Everybody's getting direction all the time,

But it is foundationally based on your deepest desire.

Not perfect,

But what do you really want to do with your life?

And again,

There are a lot of people without any judgment for whatever reason have decided my life will be completely selfish.

But by the way- All I will ever do is what's best for me.

I don't care about anybody else,

That's where my life is directed.

Their intuition is going to be in that path.

But you have a middle group that has no idea what they want to do.

And that's why they walk around kind of like,

I don't know what to do.

They're really lost and they really rely heavily on other people to help them navigate.

Sure.

But my point is that understanding that messages are going to come all the time,

Direction is going to come all the time,

But that's not good enough.

That's not enough.

Unless I am actively perfecting,

Not perfect,

But perfecting my internal compass,

Which is basically where do I want my life to go in general terms,

Then and only then will the intuition that one develops and the messages that one gets lead him or her in the right direction.

So I think that a tool though that I do give my students very often in developing their intuition to heighten that voice that they've shut off their internal voice is to ask the question out loud.

When my mom was having surgery,

She couldn't decide which doctor to go with.

And she was giving the pros and cons.

She went to three or four different doctors,

Five different doctors because she just really didn't have that place from within to be able to help navigate her to decide.

So I said to her,

I'd ask her three questions about each doctor and say,

Okay,

Now answer it out loud to yourself.

I am going with Dr.

So-and-so and I'm happy with the decision or I'm not like,

And once she said it out loud,

She,

Her body had a reaction to what was true for her.

So again,

The body,

The mind,

The spirit,

They all work together.

And until you're actually being able to live in this place,

And that's why I brought up the middle group,

That's not,

They're not overly positive and they're not really in this,

I mean,

Not really in this negative space either,

But they just have,

They don't have a knowing ever.

Right?

And if you feel lost,

You're really going to be guided by whatever comes in front of you,

Whether it's positive or negative.

So that's an easy tool to use to awaken that.

Right.

And I would add to that,

That one of the phrases that in my,

Whenever I meditate or pray,

There's a phrase that I always ask for.

And that is lead me in the correct path.

The kheni b'dehemet is the ancient Hebrew words,

Because again,

Unless that is a constant desire and request that is conscious,

We will not gain the clarity of intuition and direction that we need in our lives.

So one of the ideas that my father received from his teacher related to everything we said until now about the intuition coming from the purest part of us,

From the soul part of us,

That the spiritual body,

As it were,

The spiritual essence,

We call it our soul,

It is meant to feel in ways that we can't even imagine.

It's meant to direct us in ways that we can't even imagine.

But he said to him,

He said the following,

He said,

You have to make sure that you're constantly deepening your spiritual studies,

To study spiritual matters,

To speak to others in unspiritual matters.

He says because the soul is like the body.

The body when it's fed,

It feels and it's alive.

The soul too,

If it is fed,

Then it is,

It feels and it's alive.

If a person does not feed the soul,

Then the soul begins to fall asleep.

And that group that you were talking about before,

The people who do not know where they're going feel lost,

One of the reasons is because they have not done what is necessary to awaken their soul.

And every one of us,

Regardless of where we are in our spiritual path,

There's so much more that we can know,

Which means that I know that I can live a life where every second of my life and every question that I have is answered.

But in order to do that,

In order to really be able to receive those messages and hear them clearly,

I have to be feeding my soul and making it more alive and making it able to receive those messages and direct me.

Well,

It's kind of like how you build your muscle.

I know that even if people have an innate sense,

Some are more intuitive than others,

Some people maybe have these kind of enhanced gifts,

But everybody can develop that.

And I know before I really got on the spiritual path,

Many things,

I didn't have access to my internal voice.

I didn't have a connection to the creator,

Not a clear one anyway.

And then from those two things that I started doing,

I learned to listen,

To trust,

And it became really a knowing.

It became a part of me where it is a constant flow from above and below and from side to side.

It's just this whole thing.

You feel like the universe is really working with you.

You have a constant guide.

And I think that's really a big part of being intuitive.

I do think though,

And I want to know what you think about this,

That sometimes spirituality can make us kind of go along with things also for positive in a way.

So for instance,

We might give too much benefit of the doubt or misunderstand or misconstrue good advice.

Like relationships are hard.

Like if we're good people,

If we're spiritual people,

So we're raised with a heart that's so difficult,

Just stay in it.

And so you'll ignore something that's very obvious or someone else's bad behavior is a mirror for something that we need to change within us.

Or pain is good and pain brings me closer to my creator,

Whatever it is.

So there's times where we really,

It's a balancing act.

And to your point,

You're really only going to know what to trust when you really deepen the most important relationships you'll ever have,

Which is that with yourself and that with the creator.

Absolutely.

And I think that's absolutely true.

And spirituality is an example,

But really any person in life,

Unless he or she is developing their internal compass and really spending that time with themselves and their thoughts,

Intuition,

Direction will never become clear.

And worse than that,

The proper direction and the proper intuition.

And like we said before,

I think it's important to differentiate between the two.

I know that for myself,

The study,

The spiritual work that I endeavor to do has made it so that I can look back from where I am today,

A year ago,

Five years ago,

Those signs,

Those directions become clearer and clearer and clearer.

But it's something that has to be a focus.

It begins,

As we said,

With the clarifying of our compass and making sure that our desire is to be going in the proper path,

Whether it's difficult or not,

And then start seeing the signs.

Unless you're going through those three steps,

Intuition will be confusing,

Whether you get it or not.

Yes.

I agree.

Which leads to another,

There's a beautiful section in the Zohar that speaks about how the creative light speaks to us and directs us.

And it says that the path is such that whereas it uses a parable of two lovers who for whatever reason are not allowed to be together.

And it says that the man walks by the tower where she is and she'll peek out one window.

And he might be standing there with 10,

15,

20 people.

Nobody else sees her,

But because he's searching for her all the time,

They'll see.

And then she'll go to another window and peek out again.

And then only he will be,

Because he's searching for her,

He will see her until she starts revealing herself more and more to him.

That search for direction,

That search for intuition,

True intuition,

And the development only comes in that path,

Which means that it will begin in whispers and then a little bit louder and then a little bit louder.

Unless you are really searching for true intuition,

Then like everybody else standing around her as the Zohar says,

You will not see it.

It reminds me of the Rumi poem or quote he said that lovers don't finally meet somewhere.

They're in each other all along.

And it's the exact same thing here.

And often in Kabbalah,

Right,

It's very much the analogy or the example used is about lovers or it's really a metaphor for your relationship with the Creator.

Right.

And really your relationship with yourself.

Right.

And I think that's the good news,

Bad news of this,

Which is that yes,

On the one hand,

Every question that you have,

You have the answer for and it's right in front of you and every direction that you need is right in front of you.

But unless you are spending the time to develop that proper intuition,

You'll never see it.

And I think that's the balance.

So what it means to me is the fact that I do want my life to be directed with the right intuition,

Because I know that the most important answers that I need are going to come from within,

Are going to come from my intuition.

But unless that's being directed in the proper way,

Then I'll always miss it.

Well,

Let me ask you something,

Two questions.

What was a red flag that you ignored or something where you,

In hindsight,

You felt like you kind of suspected it,

But you didn't really honor your intuition?

So it's interesting.

So I remember,

I'm not sure how much details I'm getting into,

But maybe three or four- Make it good,

Michael.

Make it good.

Well,

This is not that juicy.

But I remember like three or four years ago,

There was somebody who I was working with and they had an idea about a certain investment.

And I wasn't so sure about him,

I wasn't so sure about it,

But I let that go.

Let's put it that way.

So it's a much longer process.

In retrospect,

And this is almost always true,

Right?

In retrospect,

You almost always have the information that you needed,

But you weren't paying enough attention to it.

You pretty much always do.

I can't say always,

But most often it's true.

And that's why it's interesting because we often say that in life,

Everybody has good and bad and every situation has good and bad.

And the question is,

What do you focus on in life in general?

You want to focus on the good.

And I think that's my default nature.

So therefore,

Sometimes even when critical thinking is necessary and really,

And like you said,

The red flags are there or at least the intuition towards them is.

And I think it also brings us back to what we've been saying all along that out of that haystack,

You see the needle,

Right?

But in your mind,

Are you going to focus on it or are you just going to go with the haystack?

So in retrospect,

You realize you always saw the needle.

So what did you do here?

I made the mistake.

I let this person make that decision.

And again,

It wasn't the end of the world,

But it was not the right decision.

I don't think it's that you,

Yeah,

You do see the good of course,

But I think also you're more heart.

And I think that even if you see something often your heart kind of override and it's like,

Okay,

Well,

You know,

I love this person and you know,

Or I care or whatever,

I'm going to,

I'm going to override what I know to,

For love.

Also but what's interesting is that also it's interesting over the past few years,

One of the things which I,

Because I do,

We do really focus a lot on developing intuition and what I have found,

You know,

And we might've mentioned this before,

One of the things that my father told me from his teacher that he said,

You know,

His teacher always said,

If you're not sure about what to do,

Then you wait.

Don't do anything.

You don't do anything,

You wait and then the direction will come.

And I have found over the,

Certainly the past few years that that has become stronger and stronger where a situation will come.

And we all are faced with situations,

Difficult decisions,

Decisions that need to be made.

So for me,

It's always,

Okay,

If I'm sure,

Great.

If I'm not sure,

I wait.

And then what's really interesting is that day two,

Day three,

Day four is almost always clearer,

Clearer and clearer and clearer.

And then,

But again,

You have to be so open.

You have to be so open to be direct.

You have to be so open.

And as we said before,

Where's the message come,

You know,

Be open and waiting for the message to come.

Then it'll come and then you will see it.

Yeah.

The only thing that stresses me about that,

Which I do also is then it's like a week went by,

I'm like,

Oh my God,

I never got back to that person.

And sometimes,

You know,

You get a ton of emails and a question comes and I'm like,

You know,

I'm not,

I'm not sure.

And sometimes I'm like,

I really don't feel good about this,

But I'm not sure why I don't feel good about this.

Right.

And I really want to allow that space for intuition to.

.

.

So what I would do is interesting because I will,

Whether it's emails or decisions,

If I'm a hundred percent sure about something and if I'm a hundred percent unsure of something,

Then I won't do anything.

I'll wait until time has passed from either a hundred percent unsure or from a hundred percent sure.

Because you often,

Especially if it's a difficult decision,

A hundred percent sure is not always coming to intuition.

No,

I'm never comfortable with somebody saying that either.

I think I might've shared this,

But that often people come to me about relationships.

That's probably business,

Maybe number one,

But certainly the number two,

If not number one place where most people make the biggest mistakes of their lives.

Well,

I think it's relationships because then you get so invested in marriage.

You share a bank account,

A home,

Children.

It gets so complicated to change from that place.

But I have been so surprised,

Continue to be surprised.

No matter how many times I hear the story,

And we must've heard this story thousands of times by now,

People who enter into what is probably the most significant decision that they're going to make in their lives without a proper thought through and without a proper intuition vetting of this decision.

And therefore,

If you're married already,

That's a different discussion.

But I think the development of intuition around all things,

But certainly,

Certainly around how we choose our partners and the relationships we enter into.

I think that comes from people see what they want to see.

Back to that idea,

It's a phenomenon called motivated perception.

And it suggests that how people respond to and perceive information can be altered by their motivations to arrive at a particular conclusion.

I think people do this a lot in relationships,

Especially.

I was talking to somebody today,

She's in her thirties,

She's dated so many men,

Long relationships.

She's a young person and she still hasn't found the one.

So now the pressure is I'm a certain age,

I need to get married.

I want to get married.

I want to have children.

So what is now the motivation here?

And I understand that it's very hard to say,

Okay,

Well,

I want to let my intuition,

I'm going to work on that and build that for a couple of years.

There's other things leading,

But it's never going to serve you from that place.

And it reminds me of how we want to see,

It's one of my most favorite films.

Let's see if you can guess that.

Your most favorite films.

Not my most.

I'm giving you a hint here.

Well,

That's a long list.

Breakfast Club.

Yes.

I'm impressed.

I never saw it.

Don't you forget about me.

You've never saw it.

We're going to watch it again this weekend.

Really?

Love.

I was actually,

This thing about today,

I'm like,

I have to just watch that again.

So that's what we'll be doing on Saturday night.

So at the end of the movie,

And maybe this is going to ruin it for you,

But I don't think so.

It's always a happy ending.

I never watched that.

But Mr.

Vernon is the principal and these kids have detention.

I can't believe I have to give you the cliff notes on The Breakfast Club,

One of the most iconic films.

So they have detention and he's just like,

I mean,

There's a word for a guy like him,

But anyway,

He has them write a letter of who they think that they are and write an essay on it.

So they write a group letter and it says,

Dear Mr.

Vernon,

We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong.

But we think you're crazy for making us write an essay telling you who we think we are.

You see us as you want to see us in the simplest terms and in the most convenient definitions.

But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain and an athlete and a basket case,

A princess and a criminal.

Does that answer your question?

Sincerely yours,

The Breakfast Club.

Because that's how he saw them all,

Each one individually,

Right?

So people really are as you see them.

What is your motivation and what you see?

And I think that's really a good place to kind of speak to our listeners now about what is it in their lives that they are desperately wanting to find direction or have intuition on,

But are led by their motivation to see things a certain way.

Right.

Because as we said before,

In the path that you desire,

You will be led.

That will be your experience.

Exactly.

And therefore,

Again,

I think the prerequisite to true development of intuition is asking yourself what is my compass,

What is my real desire and direction in life?

I think that where you want to get to is a place where you say,

I really,

My singular,

My singular,

At least my number one priority in life is to accomplish that which myself came into this world to accomplish.

That I know that I am selfish.

I know that I have many things that I need to work on,

But really,

Really that's what I want my direction to be.

Yeah.

I think,

Again,

Just to really emphasize that,

I think if not,

Because I think it's human nature to place your,

If you want to call it certainty,

Whether it's false or real certainty into something or often it's into someone.

Because if you don't have a strong relationship with the creator or yourself,

It's going to be in another person.

That's just the way it is.

Whether you idolize people,

You look up to be worship,

Whether it's your partner,

It's going to be like that.

And I think that that is when we really get fooled.

And I think that this is just really great information because I want to bring it into this.

This is from the FBI actually data in 2011.

And this is an incidence of murder for which the relationships of murder victims and offenders were known.

54% were killed by someone they knew.

An acquaintance,

A neighbor,

A friend,

A boyfriend,

24% of the victims were slain by family members.

So this idea,

And this is why I think it's important to mention,

Of stranger danger is actually something that the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children is warning parents to stop saying because the danger is not really in strangers.

It's really in those people that we trust and we probably put too much trust into because we don't have enough in the places that we ought to.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

It's kind of crazy,

Right?

I don't think we've ever taught our.

.

.

I mean,

We do.

We say be aware of people you don't know and what sounds.

.

.

But I mean,

Be just aware,

I guess.

Which is funny too because everybody that you do love actually started out as a stranger.

Much of your parents,

I guess.

So one of the things,

Again,

That certainly modern science has made very clear that our logical decisions are often both based on the falsehoods or things that are very different than we think why we're making decisions,

And that's in the Daniel Kahneman book,

The Thinking Fast and Slow.

But in the book,

The Black Swan,

Nassim Taleb really.

.

.

He has a whole theory that.

.

.

People always think the best and the brightest,

Right?

That was the famous quote around Vietnam,

That generation after generation of the smartest people in the room,

The generals,

The defense secretaries,

And so on.

They kept making the wrong decision.

Yeah,

I don't think that's our culture today.

I know,

But I think it's important because when we talk about the importance of intuition,

We have to also.

.

.

We have to accept the fact that having all the information in the world will often not lead you to the right decision,

Will often lead you to the wrong decision.

And therefore,

I would say this strongly argues for the need to develop proper intuition,

Of which we're talking about now.

Because if you think about it,

Again,

Those who've watched the Ken Burns Vietnam documentary,

It's crazy episode after episode,

Defense secretary after defense secretary,

General after general,

All making the same decision for the most part,

Often ego based.

And this is one of the things that really struck me as I was watching that long documentary series,

That because their intuition or facts were really predicated on an ego,

It could never lead them to the right decision.

And therefore,

To think that just because you have all the information necessary,

All the facts necessary to make the right decision,

Never the case.

Science tells us this,

History tells us this.

So what do you need?

Well,

You better.

.

.

I,

Speaking to myself and our listeners,

You better develop a strong,

Proper intuition because that is much more likely with the addition of facts lead you to the proper decisions.

Yeah,

That's the one thing you can rely on always once you've developed it.

Exactly.

Exactly.

Is there a question for me?

Oh yes,

Sorry.

So my question to you is to share,

If you can,

A time when you were confused,

Not unclear,

Unsure,

And intuition kicked in and led you to the right decision.

Well,

I think it was part of the developing of my intuition for decades.

In fact,

There were two people in my life and our lives,

I think it probably affected me a bit more that just it never felt right,

It felt wrong.

And there felt like an agenda.

Just no matter how much I tried to convince myself that what I was seeing,

Feeling,

Experiencing,

Because it was all of those things for a very long period of time,

Wasn't true because it didn't make logical sense to me.

And so I had this fight between,

Okay,

Logic and feeling.

And at that point I hadn't developed my intuition and I was still as always trying to grow closer to myself and closer to my source.

So I remember I would see behavior,

We would see behavior and I would,

After seeing it,

We'd have long talks at night and I'm like,

How can it be that everybody sees one thing and we see something else?

So my conclusion at that time was either you and I are crazy and everybody else is sane or we are the only ones that see and everybody else is blind.

And when I say everybody,

I'm talking about like hundreds,

Maybe thousands of people at that time.

So and there was nothing to do.

I realized I had to come to a state of being and I think that that experience,

I finally came to the conclusion that no,

We are seeing and that feels right and that is where everything that I am experiencing actually makes sense.

And so I started to really respect that and I stopped questioning myself,

I stopped doubting myself and I started to lead with that.

So that feeling that I experienced over and over and over again,

That knowing that I kept trying to push away because it didn't make logical sense,

When I finally said,

Okay,

No,

I know it to be true even though it doesn't make sense,

It became such a part of me that then it became my guide and my navigation for the rest of my life in every other area.

So often people,

And we talk about this all the time,

Why,

This,

That,

And people fight with,

They blame and they suffer.

I didn't have any of those experiences.

I was genuinely confused and of course there was pain attached to it,

But the learning was tremendous and I couldn't have gotten to that place in this specific area,

But I can tell you many other specific things where I grew spiritually from that relationship,

If you want to call it.

And I really like,

I think later when other people were seeing eventually,

They asked if there was any regret I had and the only regret small I had was like,

Why didn't I listen to myself earlier?

Because when you keep denying what it is that you know,

Because when you start to feel that knowing and then you push it away because it doesn't really fit into your life or to the picture that you want to see,

Again,

What do you want to see?

Then I just wish that I was able to say,

Monica,

Trust yourself.

But again,

I don't really regret that.

I just wish it happened sooner,

But I really don't because again,

It was exactly as it should be.

Yeah.

Which leads me to- Does that answer your question?

Yes,

It does.

It's funny because as you were talking,

One of the things that I have realized certainly over the past number of years- Is that I see a lot of things.

Yeah,

Exactly.

Oh,

Were you going to say that?

I was about to share my- Oh,

I wish I let you say it.

Go ahead.

We'll edit that part out.

We'll edit that part out.

Because I often am more from the logical side and you will sometimes say things that,

Not that you're 100% right all the time,

But that come from a place of intuition and my mind tells me,

No,

This,

That,

And another thing,

Logic.

And I have seen,

Thankfully over the number of years,

That often your intuition is right even if at the moment,

In the moment,

My feelings that logic says something else.

And that one of my personal growth has come in being much more open to,

Because what happens,

Again,

You have to have somebody in your life,

Hopefully,

Who has intuition that you really trust.

Because by the way,

We've seen a lot of people who have somebody in their lives with intuition- This guy did in his life.

That leads them in a wow.

Off the cliff,

Yeah.

Wow,

Right?

But then be open to it because I know that it's not that I loved you any less,

But that my openness to your intuition was less and that certainly over the last number of years is growing.

By the way- So that was both an apology and mea culpa,

But I think also for our listeners to really,

Who are those people in your life that you can trust their intuition and how do you become more open to them and maybe close to other people,

But more open to them?

I think it's because,

Again,

Our ego will always have the default.

If I don't think of that way,

If I didn't see it,

Our initial reaction will often be,

No,

I'm right.

Logic tells me one,

Two,

Three,

This person who I do trust has this intuition about something else.

How do you become more open to the proper intuition,

Whether it's from yourself or from other people?

By the way,

Yeah.

I remember when,

Again,

Even if we rewind just a little bit more,

When I was pregnant with Josh and there were some.

.

.

The pregnancy wasn't typical,

But we didn't have any inclination that there was something that was really different.

I kept pushing that feeling away because I didn't want to feel that.

I did not want that to be truth.

The truth was there,

Would you have done anything differently?

No,

But my point is that I can tell you three or four different instances where things happened that were really clearly a sign.

I knew it was a sign and I felt something.

I was like,

No,

This can't be true.

I would share with you and you wouldn't take me seriously at that time either with those things.

Those feelings,

That's why they've come so strongly more and more that it's a friend that I know now.

It's not even something that I have to try to.

.

.

It's like I know what that feels like,

Just like you know what the sun on your skin feels like.

It's that kind of thing that kind of washes over me.

For years,

I really tried to.

.

.

There's just some things we don't want to see.

I think that that's a good place for our listeners to start with.

What are you unwilling to see because of fear of perhaps that you need to change something or that you wouldn't know how to start changing it or whatever it is.

Believe me,

You want to be able to really see truth and really see who you are and hear your internal dialogue so that you can make the best choices for yourself.

Yeah,

Exactly.

If you were to leave our listeners with one or two or three thoughts today,

What would they be?

I think I just said them.

Okay.

Well,

I'll put it back to you.

Sure.

I think that first,

The understanding that intuition isn't just nice to have,

But it's a very necessary part of living the life that we're meant to live.

That without intuition,

Just based on logic and other external sources,

We won't always make the right decision.

We won't be there right in the proper way,

Number one.

Well,

Intuition is your compass.

I think that's the point.

Well,

Exactly,

Well,

At least the second one,

But that intuition must be based on a perfected or perfecting compass,

Which as we said earlier,

Ask yourself the question,

What is my truest desire?

What is my truest desire from the direction of my life?

And if it's from the place of what we call soul,

If it's from the place of I want to become a more giving person,

I want to become a less selfish person,

Then you can trust your intuition.

Otherwise,

Intuition can take you in the wrong way.

And number three,

That you have to develop intuition,

Which means listen to the small signs,

To the whispers,

And then they get louder and louder and louder.

And over time,

It will be second nature to you.

And I'll just add one more is don't be afraid to see.

You can choose to do something or not do something,

But be willing to see everything that is in front of you.

Beautiful.

Well,

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Thanks for your guidance.

Lots of helpful ways to think and talk about inviting our whole selves to help make decisions and tap into our intuition. Thank you!