Just Thinking, Sweetie: Working With Discursive Thought

Often during our meditation practice, we encounter a state known as “busy mind,” which is when there’s a kind of ongoing flow of anxious or repetitive mental chatter that tends to keep us locked in the realm of the past or the future, and therefore, mostly distracted from the reality of the present moment, or … the life that we’re actually living.

This talk explores how this particular mind state is created and how we can use our meditation practice to mindfully observe and slow down the flow of thoughts and, in turn, calm both the mind and body. It includes a meditation at the end.

Transcript

So as most of you who listen to my talks know now,

I almost always choose a topic that relates to something that I'm currently working with in my own life and this month's talk is really no different.

So for the past few weeks now what I've been noticing is that my mind has been getting frequently caught up in loops and loops of what in Buddhist psychology is called discursive thought or discursive thinking.

And just to be clear,

This is very different from what we might think of as more logical,

Analytical,

Or reason-based discursive thinking.

For instance,

When we have a particular challenge in front of us and we're trying to use our knowledge and our wisdom to kind of figure it out.

The type of thinking I'm referring to here involves what is commonly referred to in meditation circles as busy mind,

Which is when there's just a lot of anxious or repetitive mental chatter that tends to keep us locked into the realm of the past or the future and therefore mostly distracted from the reality of the present moment or the life that we're actually living right now.

In the teachings,

This type of thinking is also sometimes referred to as monkey mind or Kapachitta in the Pali language,

And it's described as a mind that's just sort of jumping or swinging from one thing to another without a lot of pause in between.

And the Buddha explained it this way.

He said,

Just as a monkey swinging through the trees grabs one branch and lets it go only to seize another,

So too that which is called thought,

Mind,

Or consciousness arises and disappears continually both day and night.

So one way we can really distinguish between our more analytical logic-based thinking and busy or monkey mind is that with the latter there's almost always an underlying sense of anxiety or regret or worry,

Which I know so many of us have been feeling these days,

Right,

About so many different things.

It's like when something really big happens or there's a lot of change or maybe just a sense of overwhelm in our own lives or out in the world,

You can often feel like it's just too much to process and so the mind sometimes just does not know how to relax in the present moment just as it is.

So instead just like that monkey tends to want to keep on swinging and swinging,

Right,

Grabbing onto one thought and then another.

But before we explore this a little more,

I thought it might be really helpful to differentiate between what we might consider a kind of healthy fear as opposed to a state of anxiety because the two are very different,

Okay.

So for instance,

Fear itself can very often be a healthy and really essential emotion because it can necessitate and prompt that more rational analytical mind and it can also help our bodies to do what they need to do in the face of it.

Anxiety,

On the other hand,

Is really the opposite of healthy,

Right,

Or useful.

It's actually toxic,

You know,

It's irrational,

Irrational and it lasts a lot longer than fear and it also,

Again,

Tends to be the underlying emotion that creates that busy or monkey mind.

And I wanted to share an example of this kind of distinction.

So about 15 years ago now,

I was living in the Park Slope neighborhood of Brooklyn,

Which is really happily right next to Prospect Park,

Which is one of the biggest parks in the city.

And one evening around dusk,

I was on my way to a birthday party in the park and I happened to be carrying this enormous watermelon and some other really heavy presents up this long hill and kind of scolding myself for not bringing something more practical.

I don't know what came over me to bring a watermelon.

But anyway,

When I finally arrived at the area where we were all supposed to meet,

Nobody was there.

So I was kind of upset about this and kind of got out my phone to call the host,

Who I didn't know very well,

But she was the one who was hosting this party for my friend.

And she started explaining to me that the party had been moved to another location,

But she just completely forgotten to let me know,

Right.

So there I was on my cell phone,

A little upset and tired and walking back home in the fading light,

Still carrying all these heavy things and trying to listen to these new instructions about how to get to the party.

And so I was doing all of these things when I started crossing the road in the park that I'd walked on probably hundreds and hundreds of times before because it was just the path everyone usually used to walk around the park.

But as I was doing this,

I had completely forgotten that for some insane reason,

Cars were allowed to drive down that road at one particular time during the day,

Which happened to be that time that I was walking.

And so as I was stepping onto the road,

Still talking to the host,

A car going about 55 miles an hour in a 25 mile an hour zone whipped around the corner and whooshed so close to me,

I actually felt its door handle brushing my hand.

It really almost knocked me over.

But what saved me was that for one quick second prior to impact,

My body was aware enough to see it coming and instinctively turned and lunged for the grass behind me.

So I just threw everything down and dove straight to the ground.

Then,

Of course,

I just had to sit there for a while because that was all I could really do in the moment.

I just remember,

You know,

Feeling my heart pounding and trying to regain my breath and also my awareness because it really felt like I'd come that close to death.

And honestly,

Even today whenever I think about it or tell that story,

I can still feel that door handle and how close I came to being run over.

And I share that with you to say that what I experienced right then was the emotion of fear,

Which again is an incredibly useful tool.

In fact,

I'm absolutely sure that that saved my life.

Our bodies have very wisely evolved to respond to perceived danger with fear.

It's smart,

Right?

It helps to keep us alive because sometimes we have to respond immediately without a lot of thought,

You know?

It's a very body-centered,

Intuitive thing.

So with fear,

Our bodies in a way take over as mine clearly did because at that moment my mind was obviously not present at all with what I was doing,

Right?

So whenever we're experiencing fear,

For instance,

The hair on our skin literally stands up,

Which helps us to be more alert.

Our eyes dilate to take in more information.

Blood rushes to our limbs and shuts down our digestive system so that we can either run like hell or fight or maybe,

You know,

Jump away from a speeding car that's trying to run us over.

On the other hand,

Anxiety is what our mind tends to produce.

And it happens to create the very same sensations as fear,

But unfortunately this fear is more ongoing and it tends to last a lot longer,

Right?

So with fear,

It's sometimes like a just a quick burst of energy and then it passes,

Like when my body was protecting me from the car.

With anxiety,

The sensations of fear are being constantly stimulated by our own thoughts and ruminations,

Okay?

So the idea is that when we're caught up in discursive thought,

It's not about us having a fear about something and then making a rational plan for it,

Like when we're maybe afraid we're not going to get a work project done on time and so we want to think about all the logical,

Rational steps we need to take in order to make sure that we can complete it on time.

With anxiety,

It's more like we have one anxious thought that sort of creates another anxious thought and then another.

Or it's the same kind of repetitive worry or regret that keeps popping up over and over,

You know,

Same thoughts,

Same regrets.

And if you spend any time meditating,

I'm sure you've noticed this pattern of thinking because we all do it.

Or maybe you've noticed it,

You know,

When you're trying to go to sleep at night and those repetitive thoughts just keep you twisting around and around in your sheets,

Giving you no rest.

What I find interesting is that we often sort of unconsciously believe that going over and over things in our minds is going to help,

But it's usually just not really that helpful at all,

Is it?

Right?

To worry or to ruminate.

In the teachings there's a great Pali word that describes how we tend to work the mind up in this way,

Which is Papancha.

Papancha.

And I like it because it sounds a lot like popcorn.

Papancha.

And the idea is that just like popcorn,

We might begin to notice that this type of thinking maybe starts with just a few pops,

Right?

A few thoughts or a regret.

Then there's a rush of popping,

A rush of connected thoughts,

And then maybe just a giant mass of popcorn where we really can't even pick out one thought from another.

There's just so many.

And if this continues on and on and we don't know how to turn it off,

What happens is that we just tend to get burnt out,

Right?

We get burnt out.

And if we don't know how to stop the Papancha,

What happens is that after a while we might become emotionally,

Mentally,

And physically burnt out.

All three.

Maybe a little or a lot.

And then end up not thinking straight or clearly because our mind is encased in that giant bowl of burnt popcorn,

If you will.

One translation of Papancha that I like describes it as,

Quote,

An eruption of mental commentary that obscures the raw data of cognition.

I'll repeat that.

An eruption of mental commentary that obscures the raw data of cognition.

And so it's like Papancha is all the mental commentary,

The committee in our mind.

Or maybe what the dinner table used to sound like at the holidays with all of my very loud Italian relatives all speaking at once and over each other.

And sometimes we might have a day or maybe a week or weeks on end where we feel like we just can't get away from that noisy table,

If you will,

Or away from that rush of popping thoughts.

And,

You know,

It's really okay.

It's normal for this to happen.

We all have those times of upheaval in our lives.

But when we don't have any methods for recognizing this and for calming and controlling it or working with it,

What happens is that we tend to use a variety of habitual strategies that can maybe momentarily drown out our busy mind and give us temporary relief or a sense of peace and safety,

Some sense of ground beneath our feet.

But sadly,

Unfortunately,

In the long run,

As we all know,

None of these types of strategies ever tends to work for too long.

For instance,

Some of our habitual strategies might include using things like food,

Alcohol,

Sex,

TV,

The Internet,

Whatever it is to drown out our discursive minds or maybe we tend to just fill up our calendars completely to make sure we just stay super busy so that we just don't have time to really stop and face all of it.

In her book,

True Refuge,

My teacher and friend Tara Brocks says that even though these types of strategies can often,

Again,

Temporarily give us a sense of safety,

Of refuge,

They're actually a mirage because in reality they just tend to make things even worse,

Right?

And Tara called these different strategies false refuges,

You know,

As opposed to true refuges.

And so,

You know,

For instance,

When we wake up in the morning after we've indulged in one or more of these false refuges,

You might notice we have a hangover,

Right,

Or we feel sick from eating too much or exhausted from doing too much or staying up too late or grogged out from watching too much Internet or TV or maybe we feel some sort of regret instead of comfort.

Then sadly,

On top of it,

All of our anxious thoughts are just still gonna be there waiting for us because,

Again,

None of these things can take them away for too long.

And I also want to note that sometimes we can become so used to a kind of underlying constant anxiety that we no longer even have an idea of what calm and relaxed our natural state might even feel like.

So that's the bad news.

Good news is that this is actually what our meditation practice can help us to regain,

Which is a sense of calm in the storm,

If you will,

Like a place in the very center of the ocean where we can access that still place where the storm and the waves can be,

You know,

Happening up above,

But we're not allowing ourselves to be caught up in it or swept away by it.

And by the way,

This does not mean that we are learning to go to some happy place or pretending that the storm is not happening because we really don't want to replace one escape mechanism with another kind of escape mechanism.

And honestly,

Sometimes the storm may very well still be happening,

Right?

Cars might be suddenly barreling dangerously down that road or maybe some crazy self-centered driver might really be speeding his car through our peaceful park without a care in the world about who is in his way.

And yet,

It's not gonna help us at all if we allow our anxious and busy mind to control us or to control what's happening in our body because we don't want our mind or our body to end up like that burnt popcorn.

So this is where our practice can really give us some power over this because as the Buddha's example showed us,

We all have the capability to train the mind to remain more calm and patient and rational and also more kind and compassionate right in the middle of the storm.

And especially when there's a big storm,

Maybe one that's affecting all of us,

These are the things that are actually desperately needed.

I often like to recall a very famous teaching from the late Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh told us,

Quote,

When the crowded Vietnamese refugee boats met with storms or pirates,

If everyone panicked,

All would be lost.

But if even one person on the boat stayed calm and steady,

It was enough.

It was enough.

They showed the way for everyone to survive.

I also like to think of people like Nelson Mandela who was locked up for 27 years,

Almost three decades of his life,

And yet he still maintained that he was free because what the guards couldn't control was his mind and his heart.

He had control of that.

And amazingly,

You know,

As you know the story,

His guards ended up loving him for it and they just kept quitting one after another,

Saying they just couldn't continue to jail him.

In fact,

When he was finally freed,

Nelson Mandela said,

Quote,

As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom,

I knew that if I didn't leave my bitterness and hatred behind,

I would still be in prison.

I would still be in prison.

And so how do we do this?

How do we use our practice to work with an anxious mind or our discursive thinking?

So to begin,

Whenever we can use our mindfulness practice to notice that we've been caught up in this kind of busy mind or maybe when we notice that we're in some way sitting at that noisy dinner table,

The very first thing we can do is to come back home to what's right here in the present moment.

And in the Pali language,

One of the definitions of the term mindfulness or sati is to remember,

To remember.

And the reason we want to remember the present moment is because it's really the only thing that's true,

The only moment we're actually living.

Whereas we might notice that busy mind contains either worry or regret,

Both of which are dreams,

Right,

Or fantasies because they involve either the past or the future.

And maybe as encouragement,

I just want to point out that our remembering does not just happen by us trying to remember.

It actually comes through our formal or daily practice,

Which strengthens this remembering.

It's like a skill,

Just like we might work on strengthening our muscles at the gym.

We need to strengthen this remembering muscle.

And the good news is that this means that even if we've wandered away from the present moment and that popcorn is already popping,

If you will,

We can remember or remind ourselves at any moment to return to presence again and again again.

One of the words that's been floating up for me lately in my daily practice has been the word stay,

Stay.

And I really like it because it's the same word we might use to train a puppy who maybe wants to wander all over the house,

You know,

And start peeing on everything.

We want to train our minds to stay in the very same way,

Which is with a lot of kindness and gentleness and patience,

Patience.

So for instance,

Whenever I notice that my mind is really wanting to wander just like that puppy,

The very first thing I do is congratulate myself for noticing because that's my mindfulness practice working,

That I noticed.

Then I simply remind myself to stay.

And when I do,

The treat or reward,

If you will,

That I give myself is to notice how good it feels to come back home to presence,

Even if the body or the mind is feeling unpleasant.

So to use another metaphor,

It's like you can recall that noisy dinner table,

Maybe there's an unpleasant argument or conversation,

And instead of getting up and just leaving the table,

We ask ourselves to stay and just observe,

Which as we all know is not always easy,

But that's the practice.

And so as a way to help ourselves,

One of the very first and best things we can do is something the Buddha himself did,

Which is to anchor our attention on the breath,

Not only because it's always available to us,

Immediately available,

But because it also has the ability to calm both the mind and the body right away.

Quite literally,

The moment we remember the breath,

It can help turn on the parasympathetic nervous system in the body,

Which can then help us to access that sense of calm,

Which again is essential for helping to calm the busy mind.

And happily,

The more we practice staying with the body in this way by noticing the breath during our formal meditation sessions,

Just makes it that much easier for us to recognize when we've wandered into busy mind during our daily lives.

And when we do notice this or become mindful of it,

We can then remember and ask ourselves again in the moment to just breathe and be right here,

However it is in the present moment.

So for instance,

We just might literally stop and place our focus on our breath and then just notice what's in the room or the space with us,

Right?

So maybe the sound of the wind,

The birds,

The light or shadows,

Or whatever we're seeing or touching,

Smelling,

Tasting,

We go directly to the body and to our senses.

So just for a moment,

You might even try this right now as you're listening.

So maybe just take a moment to breathe in deeply and then a slow exhale out,

Just a few times,

Just to see if this simple breath changes anything in your mind and your body,

Just to suddenly be aware of the inhale and the exhale,

Just for a moment.

You might even place one hand or both in the heart,

If that's helpful,

To tap in.

Then you might just go directly to your senses,

Right?

And ask yourself,

What am I hearing right now?

What am I seeing?

What's in my view?

What am I touching?

Am I smelling or tasting anything?

Just notice.

And you might just notice if your mind and body feels just a little more calm and centered after doing this.

Might not,

But just notice.

And so again,

The idea is that we begin by coming home to the breath and the body and then making an effort to stay and simply observe.

Then,

Once we've connected more with the present moment,

We might start to examine the busy mind itself.

And here I want to point out that it's really important for us to remember that instead of going into battle with our busy mind,

Rejecting or judging our thoughts,

Or pushing them away,

We are being asked instead to simply note or label the whole swirl of thoughts as busy mind,

Without any judgment,

No judgment.

It's like,

You can again imagine yourself sitting at that dinner table,

Instead of standing up and kind of banging your fist on the table and telling everyone to just shut up already,

You can just sit there and quietly observe that loud and chaotic conversation,

Without letting yourself become involved in it or overwhelmed by it,

But instead just let yourself become really curious about it.

Huh,

This conversation is really interesting.

It's actually a great phrase I like to use for this,

Which is,

Right now it's like this.

Again,

We're just noticing,

Right?

Right now,

Mind super busy.

Or maybe we get a little more specific,

We can say something to ourselves like,

Right now mind is worried,

Or really regretful,

Or judging,

Angry,

Or grieving,

Etc.

And by the way,

Whenever we do this,

We want to do it really lightly,

Like we're touching a bubble with a feather,

Just some light noticing,

You know,

Worrying,

Regretting,

Etc.

And to bring up that noisy dinner table again,

It's like,

We want to be able to access what is often called witness consciousness,

Witness consciousness,

Where we're again simply witnessing the conversation that's happening in the mind,

Without judgment,

Just discernment.

So one of the ways that we can begin to witness the mind in this way,

Is to start becoming aware of the different levels of discursive thought,

As well as the content of our thoughts,

And how it's affecting both the mind and the body.

So in the time that we have left,

I just want to briefly mention the three main levels that we can observe.

So we start to examine and look into the mind.

The first level is often called the fantasy level,

And this is when our thoughts have taken us so far away from the present moment,

That when we come back home to presence,

It's like we're walking into a new room after we've just left it,

Or coming home from a long vacation.

We're sort of blinking in the light.

It's kind of a dream state where we're really just not awake in any way.

And with this one sadly,

Very often the first thing we tend to do when we notice that we've been in this dream state or been away,

Is that we tend to say something to ourselves like,

God damn it.

God,

I was gone for so long.

I wasn't present at all.

So here it's really helpful to remember that this is actually a moment of congratulations for us when we notice.

This is where we want to reward the puppy,

If you will,

And really allow ourselves to notice the coming back.

And then notice the present and how that feels versus the fantasy and how that felt.

We also want to notice the quality of our body and mind.

For instance,

What was the difference between when we were lost in thought and when we were finally again present?

The quality of the mind and the body.

At this level,

Another thing we can do is to simply start again labeling these fantasies as,

Quote,

Just thinking,

Right?

Just the mind doing its thing.

So that we're not giving the thoughts or the fantasy or the daydream that much credence or importance.

It's just thinking or again,

Maybe just busy mind.

And if we can add some gentleness and kindness and patience,

Right,

Or meta friendliness to this,

Even better,

Right?

Just like we're training that puppy.

So for instance,

I was trained to say to myself,

Just thinking,

Sweetie.

Just thinking,

Sweetie.

Which really tends to take the judgment out of it,

Right?

Just thinking,

Sweetie.

My favorite Buddhist nun,

Pema Chodron,

Told us this.

She said,

This tendency to be hard on ourselves does not come from the Buddha nature,

The basic goodness within all of us.

It comes from the ego and our conditioning.

We all have the seeds of this basic goodness within us.

We only have to nourish them.

Nourishing the basic goodness within includes not judging ourselves for all the wild thinking that takes place in our mind.

We cannot control how many thoughts we're going to have.

And we can't control what the next thought is going to be.

As you practice,

Try to be faithful to the instructions with a gentle attitude.

We train in attention,

But it's friendly attention.

Friendly attention.

And so as Pema noted,

It's really helpful also to remember that we can't control how many thoughts we're going to have or even what our next thought is going to be,

Can we?

Our thoughts are generated by our past conditioning or sometimes by some huge change or situation that has just occurred.

And we often have no control about when or how they arise.

What we do have control of is how we relate to our thoughts when they do arise.

So we can ask ourselves,

Do I continue to follow them?

Do I need to believe them?

Do I need to let them control me?

Or can I choose to pause and relate differently to these thoughts?

Can I pause and question whether or not they're actually true?

Or even maybe choose to change the direction of my thoughts.

You know,

Maybe for instance from worry to hope or gratitude or forgiveness,

Etc.

There are actually three wonderful phrases that come from the Zen tradition that I love to employ whenever I'm trying to relate differently to my thinking or to question my thinking.

And they're so simple,

And I know I've mentioned these before,

But they really are helpful.

Especially if you can put them on a note and look at them.

These three are maybe so,

Maybe not.

Maybe so,

Maybe not.

Not always so.

Not always so.

Then my favorite is,

What if nothing's wrong?

What if nothing's wrong?

And just to say,

That last one is tricky,

I know.

But how I often take that one is more along the lines of,

What if nothing's wrong with how I'm feeling in this moment?

So for instance,

If something sad happens and I'm crying about it,

Nothing's really wrong since I'm supposed to cry when I feel sad or when I'm grieving or when I'm regretting something.

It's really okay.

Nothing's really wrong.

And so as we continue to hone our practice,

We can then start to become aware of the second level of discursive thought,

Which is when we are gone from the present moment,

But not completely.

So we can notice that maybe we're two to sentences into a storyline or a thought,

But we're not gone for that long,

You know,

Before we wake up and come back home to presence.

We're not completely away in a fantasy or a dream.

It's like maybe we've just been drawn off by a sound or maybe the sound of a train or a siren and maybe our mind starts thinking about where the ambulance is going or how it might be to be a passenger on that train looking out the window,

Etc.

Or maybe we're drawn off because our tummy starts grumbling.

We start going over the list of things we want to eat for lunch,

But we realize this very quickly and we just come right back to presence.

We come back.

And so at this level,

In this case,

The instructions are the same.

We notice with kindness and we gently return home to the breath.

And we allow our awareness to come forward and even strengthen,

Right?

And so when our thoughts are at the second level,

We want to remember,

Really important,

That we don't want to strive or really jerk or pull the mind back to presence,

Which is aggressive.

We want to really relax and just not make it a big deal.

We want to be gentle and kind with ourselves.

We might think of that puppy again.

And if it's a thought that creates an effect in the body,

Like sadness and anger or an emotion,

We can notice that,

Right?

You can notice the tightness or the hollowness or the fire of it,

Whatever it is.

Or again,

We might label the feeling very lightly.

Maybe sadness is here,

Or anger is here,

Tightness is here,

Or the breath is shallow,

Etc.

We just kind of notice or note.

And after a while,

Though,

We might even want to let that labeling go since this can sometimes get in the way,

Or we find ourselves maybe labeling everything really obsessively,

Which,

If we notice,

Can be just another way of trying to control.

We're really labeling,

Labeling,

Labeling.

Another thing I want to point out is that sometimes we might try to convince ourselves that if we just sit down and let the mind wander,

That somehow we'll be able to figure it all out,

Right?

And we all do this.

This is such a strong tendency.

But as Pema so wisely reminded us,

Quote,

If you let the thoughts take you further away from the present moment,

You are training the mind in discursiveness and distractiveness.

So maybe that can be helpful.

You don't want to train the mind in discursiveness and distractiveness.

And by the way,

This doesn't necessarily mean that we don't sometimes want to get quiet with ourselves and truly just sit down and think things through,

Think about things.

Because,

Of course,

That's incredibly important to do that.

But please know that that is not meditation practice.

It's not what we're doing when we're practicing.

It can sometimes be helpful to do it afterwards when the mind's a little more clear,

But not during the meditation practice itself.

So finally,

When we arrive at the third level of discursive thought,

What happens is that we're aware of our thoughts and our thinking,

But they are not in any way drawing us away from the present moment.

We are just sitting,

Putting our attention on the breath,

And staying with it.

And there's this little vague conversation or in-and-out thoughts that are happening on the side,

But they're not drawing us away from the present moment.

And so at this point,

We're in a sense truly just observing the conversation,

But we're not in the conversation.

We are finally resting in awareness,

In that calm place that is simply watching or witnessing without judgment,

Without attachment,

And returning very easily back to the breath and presence.

You know,

We're finally watching that dinner party,

If you will,

From a place of deep calm.

This is so vitally important and truly a part of what we're aiming for.

When I was studying with one of my teachers,

Jonathan Faust,

He told us a story about the great yogi Swami Kripalu,

Or Babaji as he was more commonly known.

Babaji was just incredibly dedicated and apparently practiced 10 hours a day for almost two decades.

And when he was near the very end of his life,

One of his students raised his hand and asked him,

Venerable sir,

What is the highest quality of a spiritual seeker?

The highest quality a spiritual seeker?

Everyone was waiting for this answer,

And this very renowned master replied,

Simply,

Self-observation without judgment.

Self-observation without judgment,

That is the highest quality of a spiritual seeker.

And so to end,

I thought I might offer you a brief meditation on this practice,

If it's available to you.

And so if you're somewhere where you can find a comfortable seat and close the eyes,

You might do that now.

Begin by taking a few deep breaths in and slow exhales out,

Getting in touch with the breath.

If you're driving and listening,

You might also deepen your breath,

And then sense your touch points,

Your hands,

Your seat,

Your feet.

Become aware of the body as you're driving.

If you're out walking,

You might notice the very bottom of your feet especially,

And the act of walking,

The body moving through space.

Really sense yourself connected to the earth and grounded.

All of us taking some nice deep breaths in,

Slow breaths out,

Just to connect with the body and the breath.

On each exhale especially,

Seeing how much you can let go of any tension,

Tightness,

Holding.

You might notice all the little muscles in the face,

And let them soften.

Eyes,

Cheeks,

Jaw,

Tongue.

Allow the neck and shoulders to relax,

Maybe dropping the shoulders.

Still aware of the breath.

You might notice the whole torso as it rises and falls with the breath,

A constant inhale,

Exhale,

Movement of the body,

Flow.

Noticing the front,

Back,

Sides of the ribcage.

You might notice the center of the palms.

You can soften a bit,

Imagining receiving,

Letting go.

Receiving and letting go.

Let the palms be soft.

If you haven't already,

You might just allow the breath to be natural in the body,

And just notice the body breathing.

No need to control the breath.

If there's still some control,

No worries at all.

Just notice.

And as you're ready,

I'm going to invite you to simply start observing your thinking as best as you can without any judgment,

Just like you're sitting at a dinner table completely curious about the conversation that's happening.

Can you be that guest at the dinner table,

Just noticing the conversation?

If you like,

You might try a few of those techniques which I'll offer.

So you might just note busy mind,

If that's what's happening.

Or if you want to get more specific,

Start gently labeling the thoughts,

Anything like planning,

Worrying,

Judging,

Et cetera,

Very lightly,

Like you're touching a bubble with a feather.

If it's helpful,

You might try on the phrase,

Just thinking,

Sweetie,

Or buddy,

Just thinking,

Buddy,

And see how that lands.

Just thinking.

At any time,

If you notice that you've become lost in thought or that your thoughts have taken you away from the present,

Again,

You might try congratulating yourself when you notice.

And then for as long as you can,

Take time to just notice how that feels,

To come back home to this moment,

Just set it as it is for as long as you can until the next thought maybe takes you away.

So those are some instructions.

Just take a look at the mind with curiosity.

Finally,

With the eyes still closed,

Just listening to these words from Adif Adieh,

Who writes,

Softly,

Gently,

I remind myself,

I am allowed to just be.

Not reaching,

Not proving,

Not chasing the next thing.

Just existing in the fullness of who I am.

The sunlight still kisses my skin when I pause.

The wind still dances through my hair when I slow down.

Life still embraces me even when I am still.

There is beauty in being,

And that is enough.

That is enough.

Namaste and blessings.

Reviews

I really struggle with this. Even during your talk I had to remind myself to listen. I will be more gentle with myself but keep noticing! 🙏💚🌟