Content In The Center: Exploring The Buddha's Middle Way

When we practice what the Buddha called The Middle Way, we start to realize with more clarity that contentment resides at the center of our wanting and not wanting, our indulgence or deprivation. We learn that nothing is really happy or unhappy in and of itself - no thing, person, or situation, and that our joy or sorrow depends entirely on how we are relating to our experience. This talk explores how can use our meditation practice to learn to “walk in the middle” more often in order to discover more joy, ease, and balance in our lives.

Transcript

So just recently during a five-day meditation retreat,

I was leading in West Virginia.

I had a really interesting insight So usually during the longer retreats,

I spend a few hours in the afternoons meeting one-on-one with a variety of different students and What's always fascinating to me are the common themes that seem to emerge from these meetings even though each person's experience is really always unique and And During this last retreat what occurred to me was that no matter what each of us is currently struggling with what we all seem to be seeking is a sense of balance or Maybe a sense of ease in the midst of all the chaos whether it's our own personal chaos or the chaos that's happening around us or the chaos in our world and As it concerns our common need for balance,

I also noticed another thread Which is our kind of ongoing struggle of trying to strike a good balance between being there for others and at the same time being there for ourselves and in so many cases what most of us seem to have the most difficult time with is actually allowing ourselves to be there for ourselves and For many reasons some of which are cultural We tend to believe that if we're giving our time or support to ourselves We're in some way being selfish And this actually includes giving ourselves the time that we need to just sit with ourselves in meditation in fact often When people are actually there on retreat,

They'll tell me that they feel a little guilty about this About taking the time to just be with themselves Even though that time can really often be difficult Another common theme seems to be the sense that when others are experiencing sadness We shouldn't be experiencing any joy ourselves because again,

It's somehow selfish On the other hand what's also true is that whenever we ourselves are feeling sad about something We also tend to feel a bit jealous whenever we see those around us experiencing some joy But the truth is in almost all cases what's actually the most helpful for us is again to discover a sense of balance in all ways or Maybe to discover that place of rest Right in the middle of all of it good and bad pleasant and unpleasant So since that retreat ended early last month,

I've been thinking a lot about what the Buddha called the middle way Which is actually how he described the entirety of his teachings,

You know,

Our whole path is the middle way In fact,

The middle way was not only what he discovered when he became enlightened but it was also the way that he discovered it the way that he got there to enlightenment itself and Whenever I think about the middle way I always think it's really important for us to remember how the Buddha was led to the spiritual journey Which when he realized it some 2600 years ago now,

It was really revolutionary at the time And so to start we really need to reflect a little about the Buddha's life before he became enlightened Which to be honest is a story.

I really always enjoy hearing You know for me it's almost like one of those bedtime stories We might have asked our parents to read to us over and over again as children Even though we knew all the words and we also knew the ending And so for those of you who might know this story,

I hope it's that way for you,

Too So to begin it can be helpful for us to remember that before the Buddha's time there were two extreme beliefs in India about how to find happiness and These two beliefs were self indulgence and self-mortification So those who believed in self indulgence or hedonism if you will would utterly Indulge the body in sense pleasures paying absolutely no attention to the mind They were really all about serving the body and all of the body's desires And so you can imagine they ate and drank and partied and had a lot of sex,

You know Whatever they felt like they just indulged the body's whims They really worshipped and indulged all the body's desires and they felt that this was really the true meaning of life itself And of course,

You know,

If we look around we might see this kind of thinking even today the other group the self-mortification practitioners were ascetics who didn't agree with this indulgence and Instead they aspired to the exact opposite practice Which involved an idea of the body and all its desires is a kind of burden or a kind of weight That kept them from true spiritual awakening and so the self-mortification practitioners believe that if they Sacrificed their own happiness completely and have tortured their bodies either literally by beating it or Depriving it of its desires.

Maybe only barely giving it food.

For example They would achieve great benefit in the next life And again,

If we think about it,

You might see some of this kind of thinking even in ourselves today sometimes So maybe we find it in a kind of unconscious desire to in some way set ourselves on fire in order to keep others warm or Maybe we find ourselves burning ourselves up with our desire to succeed at something No,

Really not taking care of our bodies Either way the idea here is that in some way we believe that Self-sacrifice is what's going to lead us to some kind of spiritual happiness in the Buddha's case until he was in his late 20s He was really mostly sheltered from all of these different ways of thinking That the Buddha was sheltered from almost everything Legend has it that at his birth as Prince Siddhartha some Brahmins and high priests predicted that this prince would either become a great king or a great spiritual leader and As we might imagine his parents did not want him to become a spiritual leader because they wanted him to stay with them and become a lord and inherit the family's wealth and property and So they worked really hard to keep him away from anything.

They thought that might upset him And they were actually super strict about this and in a very real way were kind of imprisoning Siddhartha in the palace like he was under house arrest For instance all the members of the family staff and anyone who visited the palace were instructed not to speak with Siddhartha about the news Because they didn't want to upset him.

He also wasn't allowed anywhere outside the palace grounds Instead his parents who are wealthy brought all the entertainment to him with parties and festivals and dancers,

Etc But because the Buddha was smart and curious He suspected there were things outside the palace that he really needed to know about that were being kept from him And so the year before he turned 30 He convinced one of his carriage drivers to sneak him out of the palace and into the city And apparently that was when he witnessed four things That completely changed his perspective and also of course the course of his life These four things are often called the four heavenly messengers or the four sites And so while he was outside the palace Siddhartha finally saw people who were sick You know that had been kept from him He also saw people who were really frail with old age And then the third thing he saw was a funeral where there was a dead body being carried in the streets something he'd never seen and after he saw the first three things and Had his carriage driver Explained it to him.

He suddenly realized with great dismay that not only would he himself experience these things but everyone he loved,

You know all beings in fact and This realization apparently made him incredibly sad and It was also a great awakening for him when he realized that he was not alone in the suffering And in the sutras the Buddha reflected quote When I considered this the vanity of life entirely left me When I considered this the vanity of life entirely left me And so soon after this he again asked his driver to take him into the city and this time he saw a fourth heavenly messenger a fourth site Which was a wandering ascetic in robes who apparently looked so incredibly radiant and serene that the Buddha was drawn to him and When he asked the ascetic about himself the man explained that he had quote gone into homelessness in Search of a spiritual life to find the answers to freedom from suffering and After Siddhartha had heard this he just couldn't go back to living the way that he had and he Decided that he too wanted to try to discover this answer to discover freedom and so with his parents weeping and at almost 30 years old Siddhartha cut off all his hair and his beard and he put on the saffron robes of a mendicant and became a homeless wanderer He left everything you know his home his family everything and As he was wandering he sought out the guidance of a guru when he found two of the most accomplished masters both of whom taught him yoga and meditation practices and During his years of studying Siddhartha was really able to quickly reach these very exalted states of concentration and calm and To enter all the bliss states or the Jhanas But what he found was that these states weren't enough,

You know,

They were really incredible amazing states but sadly he realized that they weren't going to lead him to enlightenment and So he left those teachers and decided to practice with the ascetics Those who were practicing the opposite of hedonism Which included again not giving in to the body's desires but trying to use self-mortification and at that time the ascetics believed that spiritual freedom was to be found by afflicting the body not only with pain but pain beyond its normal level of endurance and So for six years Siddhartha was just really adamant about following this path of mortification You know said that he fasted for days on end until his body looked like a skeleton cloaked in skin he exposed himself to the heat of the midday Sun and the cold of the night and Subjected his flesh to torments that really almost killed him In fact,

His practice was apparently so intense that after a while the five ascetics who had been training him Ultimately became his followers And they were like,

You know,

This guy is so good at torturing himself.

He's completely dedicated So He did this for six years and at the end of it when he still hadn't found enlightenment He decided to go all out and redouble his efforts supposedly only eating one grain of rice a day until he was just a skeleton in a state of near-death and some of you may have seen statues or images of Siddhartha in this emaciated state where he looks kind of like a skeleton and This represents the period right before he became the Buddha And as the Buddha himself would describe it later.

He was so skinny then he said he could touch his belly and feel his spine So as he was literally dying a peasant girl named Sujata saw the starving ascetic Lying under a tree near the river and begged him to eat some of her milk rice and then his delirium or maybe with the knowledge that he was really dying he agreed to take the food and Apparently when the five other ascetics who had been following him saw him doing this They saw him eating they concluded that he had just given up and taken to what they called quote the ways of the flesh And so they left him there Thankfully this peasant girl continued to offer him food and after a while when he was feeling better Still eating his rice.

He noticed a fisherman fishing in the nearby river What he noticed was that quote the fisherman was trying too hard Hugging the rope way too tight until it finally broke and he lost the fish a little while later a dusk he heard a group of young girls singing on their way to the city and He observed quote with strings too loose.

The lute does not sound Tighten the strings too much.

They will break apart Not too loose Not too tight.

The lute sounds nice So it was then that Startha realized that the extreme practices that he'd been using Not leading him to higher wisdom and enlightenment But instead to physical weakness and deterioration of the mind So finally he understood that the body and the mind are of course not Disconnected and that to have a healthy mind.

We also need a healthy body And that the body is home the body is the spiritual life He also realized that taking care of his body was not only for his own benefit and good But for the benefit of others This part is really important He recognized that if he wasn't in good physical condition if he was too tired and weak and his mind wasn't sound How could he lead or teach or be of any way helpful to others?

And if he wasn't taking care of his body,

Not only would he not be able to teach But he would also be taking up the time of others who would need to take care of him Buddhist teachers often compare the idea of looking after the body to the way an ambulance driver looks after her ambulance With the idea that a well-maintained ambulance is going to have the best chance of being available and ready when people need it And of course same time even if our bodies aren't in good shape We really want to make sure to take really good care of the mind and so Recognizing this Siddhartha decided to spend time healing his body and mind which included eating and drinking and meditating and practicing walking meditation bathing himself in the river,

Etc,

And a little while after while Siddhartha was practicing walking meditation in the fields a Young boy came by and in the suttas this boy is described as a buffalo boy The reason for this is that in those times in India water buffaloes were used to pull the plows in the fields and the boy's job was to watch them and Take care of them and cut grass for them.

And so they called these young boys buffalo boys And so for weeks this young man had been watching Siddhartha walking and meditating and was really drawn to his peaceful energy But this boy was shy and so he needed to walk closer and closer to Siddhartha at least half a dozen times Before he finally gathered the courage to tell him Gentlemen,

I like you very much Apparently Siddhartha looked at him and said I like you also The boy was so joyful about this apparently that he told Siddhartha that he really wanted to give him a gift But he was embarrassed because he was poor and he thought he had nothing to give But Siddhartha said to him quote Actually,

You do have something I need you have all that very beautiful green grass that you just cut for the buffalo And I would be so grateful for an armful of that grass to use as a cushion for my sitting During his former ascetic practices using any kind of padding for meditation would have been Considered an indulgence and so with this simple request that Arthur was already stepping towards the middle way So after the boy had very gleefully collected an awful or so grass for Siddhartha he spread it out from under a tree,

Which was the Bodhi tree and This is the exact moment when Siddhartha made what might be considered his most important decision According to the Suttas.

This is the moment when he said to himself Okay Until I attain true enlightenment.

I shall not stand up from the seat Until I attain true enlightenment.

I shall not stand up from the seat and according to the story Siddhartha did just that he sat on top of that armful of grass for about 49 days seven weeks and You know Most of us assume this also included eating and other bodily functions because both the boy and the girl were still taking care of him In fact,

Those two caretakers became his first students after his enlightenment And if you're interested in the Pali Canon,

There is a scripture called the Sutta of tending Buffalo Which lists 11 skills a buffalo boy must have Which the Buddha later taught his parallel skills for the monks as mindfulness practices In any case after the Buddha had achieved enlightenment the five ascetics who had left him and apparently continued to watch him Thought that their former friend looks so radiant and peaceful They could just tell by looking at him that he had an achieved enlightenment And so of course they wanted to know how he'd done it and they approached him and This is when the Buddha offered his first talk or Sutta the Dhamma chakra Sutra Which is the setting the wheel of Dharma in motion Sutta also?

Sometimes called the first turning of the wheel because it is said to keep spinning as it's taught and I need to admit that I love that story so much that many years ago.

I had the Dhamma chakra tattooed onto my right arm And I put it there as a way of not only reminding myself to keep that wheel spinning Right,

But to also gently remind myself to try as best as I can to practice the Buddha's middle way Which is exactly what he spoke about in that first talk And this is what he said He said that are these two extremes that are not to be indulged in by one who has gone forth which to That which is devoted to sensual pleasure with reference to sensual objects base vulgar common ignoble unprofitable and that which is devoted to self-affliction painful ignoble unprofitable Avoiding both of these extremes the middle way realized by the Tattvika,

Which is another name for the Buddha Produces vision produces knowledge leads to calm to direct knowledge to self-awakening to unbinding and What is the middle way realized by the Tattvika that?

Producing vision producing knowledge leads to calm to direct knowledge to self-awakening to unbinding Precisely this noble eightfold path Right view right resolve right speech right action right livelihood right effort right mindfulness right concentration This is the middle way realized by the Tattvika that producing vision Producing knowledge leads to calm to direct knowledge to self-awakening to unbinding so essentially The Buddha named the entirety of our path the middle way the whole thing which I find so useful to remember and If we look at the Dhammacakra the wheel of the eightfold path We can see that it's often broken up into three different sections or categories Which for me always makes the eight spokes the wheel a little easier to remember so karma,

Yes a rabbi describes them as seeing clearly living responsibly and staying focused thing clearly living responsibly staying focused So in the seeing clearly category,

It's right view and right intention living responsibly right speech action and livelihood and staying focused right effort mindfulness and concentration and Before I go on I really want to point out that the word right here means skillful or wise or ethical Or that which leads to happiness rather than some moralistic rules that we're being asked to follow and Because these eight things are essentially our entire path I just want to briefly summarize some of the important ideas that the Buddha shared as it relates to the middle way So first and maybe most importantly he taught that the root cause of our suffering is our wanting our not wanting and our ignorance or delusion Or what he called the three poisons what this means is that whenever we're caught up in and become attached to The things or people or situations that bring us joy and pleasure in both the body and mind We tend to want those things to last and to continue Which is why we suffer on the other hand Whenever we're caught up in aversion and rejection this very much includes having an aversion towards ourselves and our own bodies We tend to want the uncomfortable or painful things to stop or going away And so again,

We suffer So just as a quick and simple example maybe we have an aversion to sound and reject that sound by thinking things like That sound shouldn't be here or I want it to go away.

I hate it.

It's awful,

Etc And here we're resisting not wanting putting up a wall The idea is that we tend to do the very same thing with almost everything that we find unpleasant We have aversion this includes our Physical and emotional pain all the people who annoy us and all the difficult situations that we find ourselves in At the same time we also tend to do the same thing with everything we find pleasant when we're grasping at something We want it to stay So this is a quick example.

Sometimes I feel the sting of grasping when I want to pick up my cat and she just won't let me she's a scaredy-cat and this means she's constantly running away just arms length away and Very rarely lets me catch her and because she's so flippin cute This just feels like torture to me,

But I can't I can't catch her What's also interesting I think is when she's actually lying on the floor and allowing me to pet her So often I just can't even enjoy the moment fully because I'm anticipating her jumping and running away And then sometimes I'm feeling so attached that I start worrying about and even imagining the day that I'm going to lose her Right.

So this is part of the suffering of grasping And the third poison the Buddha spoke about is ignorance,

Which is also sometimes called delusion or illusion So basically he was saying that when we aren't aware of How we create suffering for ourselves and others with our aversion and our grasping everyone suffers because if we can't see it,

We're going to continue to perpetuate it and this suffering of delusion this third poison also involves not being mindful of What the Buddha called the three characteristics of life?

So this is where the ignorance part comes in because we're not mindful of these and they're all related So very briefly the very first of these characteristics is impermanence or in the Pali language it's called Anicca And this is the truth that all conditioned things are impermanent They are the nature to arise and pass away everything And as much as we would like this to be different no conditioned thing has any permanent nature including ourselves,

Of course Which relates to the second Characteristic of life,

Which is often called no self or anatta This is the truth that we ourselves are also constantly changing and are essentially lacking any permanent independent existing self or entity and Course,

It isn't that we don't exist.

Of course we do.

It's just that in each moment.

We are Constantly changing and so we too are really unpin down a ball and also impermanent and the third of these characteristics is suffering or Dukkha,

Which is sometimes also described as Disappointment or a sense of never being satisfied Unsatisfactoriness is that sense of not being able to reach the cat.

No Never being satisfied And so in summary because all conditioned things including ourselves are impermanent and don't last They are all essentially Unsatisfactory,

Which is why we suffer when we grasp and try to hold on to that which is unsatisfactory and impermanent and So when we're practicing the middle way what we're training ourselves to slowly recognize is That happiness lies at the very center of wanting and not wanting and this being in the center then means that we aren't clinging to anything that is impermanent or Rejecting any of those things in our lives that we don't want When we're practicing living in the center We're practicing simply observing when things that create happiness arise in the mind and when things that create unhappiness arise And we can remain in the center by recognizing and remembering That nothing is really happy or unhappy in and of itself.

No thing person or situation But in how we're thinking of these things or relating to them including of course how we think about or relate to ourselves and This how we relate to or perceive things is really the only thing that we can control And so this is where our happiness and our power lies The great Ajahn Chah,

Who is the teacher of my teachers describes how we practice the middle way this way.

I Love this description He said this If we cut a log and throw it into the river That log doesn't sink a rod or run aground on either of the banks of the river that log will definitely reach the sea Our practice is comparable to this if you practice according to the path laid down by the Buddha Following it straightly you will transcend two things What two things?

Just those two extremes that the Buddha said were not the path of a true meditator indulgence in pleasure and indulgence in pain These are the two banks of the river one of the banks of that river is hate the other is love Or you can say that one bank is happiness the other unhappiness the log is this mind as It flows down the river.

It will experience happiness and unhappiness if the mind does not cling to that happiness or unhappiness,

It will reach the ocean of Nirvana or enlightenment You should see that there is nothing other than happiness and unhappiness arising and disappearing if You don't run aground on these things Then you are on the path of a true meditator so Staying in the middle really points to this idea that when things naturally arise and pass We can learn to stay in the middle instead of running either left or right Trying to somehow escape the reality of the situation or whatever we're feeling by either running towards what we think is going to bring us more happiness or Running away from something.

We don't want or like ourselves the situation someone else etc and Through the middle way we learn to stay They right in the middle This is radical because it's going directly against our natural instincts to either run toward or in a way or cling to or push away and By the way,

The reason this need for the middle way comes up so often I think during longer retreats is that not only are we training ourselves in this way on purpose?

But it's also much easier for us to recognize that truly.

There's no escaping ourselves Just put right on the spot Suddenly we find ourselves faced with whatever it is that we've been trying to avoid or whatever it is that we've been wanting or clinging to so tightly and Maybe to go back to that common struggle that we have of trying to find a good balance between giving to others and giving to ourselves The truth is that sometimes when we're sensing that we're giving too much to others It's because by doing so we're in a way avoiding being with ourselves It can really be a kind of unconscious strategy for that My favorite Buddhist nun Pema Chodron talks about the middle way this way she says To the degree that we've been avoiding uncertainty We're naturally going to have withdrawal symptoms Withdrawal from always thinking that there's a problem and that someone somewhere needs to fix it The middle way is wide open But it's tough going because it goes against the grain of an ancient neurotic pattern that we all share When we feel lonely when we feel hopeless what we want to do is to move to the right or to the left We don't want to sit and feel what we feel.

We don't want to go through the detox Yet the middle way encouraged us to do just that It encourages us to awaken the bravery that exists in everyone without exception including you and me That's kind of the bad news that it's just our human tendency to want to move to the right or to the left but the good news is that What the Buddha discovered under that Bodhi tree was that meditation practice is exactly what can train us in the middle way It can train us in staying right on the spot right in the middle So for instance when we sit down with ourselves in practice,

We're encouraged not to judge whatever arises in the mind We really open and curious and especially kind We're also encouraged not to grasp or push away whatever arises in the mind And what we usually call good or bad we simply Acknowledge is thinking without all the usual drama that goes along with ideas about right and wrong Or maybe all our shoulds or shouldn'ts instead we're instructed to just let the thoughts come and go as if we're touching a bubble with a feather or Sometimes I like to imagine just watching the flow of a river or a parade of thoughts or a ticker tape at the bottom of a news show and When we can learn to train the mind in this way,

What happens is that we learn to stop struggling We learn to float in that river rather than struggling so much There's actually a famous cone or Buddhist riddle that's used to describe the middle way which is There is neither going forward nor going backward nor standing still There is neither going forward nor going backward nor standing still And I really like that idea especially if not standing still Because in the center,

It's not a nothingness It's actually a place of great clarity and vision kind of active observation It's standing in awareness itself Just like that log and Ajahn Chah's description is in the flowing river it's standing in awareness itself and Finally speaking of Ajahn Chah,

I feel the great need to mention what might be his most well-loved quote about the middle way Where he tells us this To discover the middle way try to be mindful and let things take their natural course Then your mind will become still in any surroundings like a clear forest pool All kinds of wonderful rare animals will come to drink at the pool and you will clearly see the nature of all things You will see many strange and wonderful things come and go but you will be still This is the happiness of the Buddha this is the happiness of the Buddha and so I think I will end there and Invite you into a meditation if that's available for you and so if you're listening,

You might want to find a chair or a comfortable seat and Make yourself comfortable for meditation If you're out walking you might Become more embodied by feeling the very bottom of your feet And then sensing into the body sensing the breath Heartbeat maybe movement of your arms and legs sound If you're driving you might feel your seat on the cushion Your hands on the wheel And sense into your breath Become a little more embodied Wherever you are.

I'm just taking a nice deep inhale filling the lungs Slow exhale letting go can even let out a sigh you need There's a couple rounds of these on your own to get in touch with the breath and the body Bringing your attention inward Sensing the flow of the breath in the body each inhale Each exhale on each exhale Really encouraging the body to relax and open You might let the shoulders drop Let the tummy be soft Undefended might notice the whole area of the face soften the face Forehead smooth Eye-soft all the little muscles the cheeks melting Heat slightly parted so the jaw can relax Still aware of the breath wherever you are you might Sense your connection to the earth.

So feel the weight of the body being held by the earth And so that you can let your body relax just a little more into the support of the earth Sensing your connection breathing As you continue,

I want to invite you to start to notice Where you might discover a sense of balance or a sense of Center that place where Everything can be observed with your awareness That place where you're not going left or right Not clinging to the banks of the river or pushing away You allow your awareness to rest in the center Noticing whatever is flowing through that awareness and after a while you might Allow your awareness to feel more like an ocean really wide and deep You might consider Even if the water at the top is choppy Or maybe noisy Would it be possible to allow your awareness to rest?

In the middle of the ocean the center of the ocean that deeper part of the ocean that is silent and calm and peaceful right in the middle And finally with the eyes still closed Just listening to these words from Jan Richardson who tells us this stay stay linger tarry wait behold wonder There will be enough time for running for rushing for worrying for pushing For now stay wait wait

Reviews

Always a pleasure to listen and hear your wisdom. I’m able to see how I can incorporate this into my own life and practice.

Once again, very pleasant and informative talk to listen to. Shells talks always seem to resonate with me. Loved the small practice aswell. Grateful for your sharing 🙏

Excellent talk on the Middle Way, told in a soothing calm manner.

So many feelings bubbling up, wanting to run . . . but staying.