Hi,
I'm Shan and this is the Shan George Behavioral Lab Podcast.
So today I want to talk about a topic that we are all familiar with,
Worrying.
We all do that.
It's part of how our brain works.
Our brains scan our surroundings,
Look for,
Anticipate,
And resolve potential problems.
That's how it's wired.
But in situations where we can't resolve,
We have no control over,
Or it's important to us.
And when we don't know the outcome,
Our brain has a tendency to get stuck in a feedback loop of worry.
Because what the brain likes is certainty and closure.
And when we don't know the outcome,
There's no closure.
And as a result,
Our brain goes on this worrying feedback loop.
And sometimes we just can't seem to turn it off,
No matter how hard we try.
Especially when it's about a person or situation in our lives that's important to us,
Or you tend to be more anxious.
As your mind keeps focusing on the situation you're worried about,
It goes through all sorts of possible scenarios.
And if you're a chronic worrier,
Your mind starts to catastrophize and come up with the worst-case scenarios.
And your mind keeps going to the worst thoughts instead of the most plausible explanation.
So,
True story here.
My husband was in his car chatting with me over the phone on his drive to work.
And we were joking and laughing,
When all of a sudden his voice turned serious and he said very abruptly,
Babe,
I gotta go.
I'll call you back.
And he hung up the phone.
I was thinking,
Well,
No big deal.
He's gonna call me in a few minutes,
Right?
So like 20 minutes go by,
Nothing.
I text him,
Nothing.
Then an hour,
Two hours,
My phone calls are not returned,
My texts are not read.
And my mind went into a tizzy as the hours ticked by.
And more and more worst-case scenarios popped up in my head,
Like what if he was carjacked?
Or what if his low blood sugar kicked in and he fainted in his car?
Or what if he got into a car accident?
My mind kept looping around these worst scenarios.
And the more I did that,
The more my anxiety spiked and I was a mess.
It felt impossible to keep these thoughts away,
Which seemed to be screaming for attention.
And if you tend to worry,
Your mind tends to go to the worst case scenarios.
And it feels true,
Even if the thoughts seem irrational.
And the likelihood of that happening is low.
But it can feel difficult to pull your attention from it when it's screaming at you non-stop.
Catastrophizing,
Or thinking of worst-case scenarios,
Is a form of cognitive distortion,
Where a problem is exaggerated or the worst outcomes are assumed to be true.
When you notice your mind going into catastrophizing,
What you can do is engage in a three-step method to alleviate your anxiety and reduce worry.
The very first step is to engage in cognitive restructuring,
Which is where you learn to question your irrational thoughts.
So first,
Find a piece of paper and divide it into three columns.
Then on the leftmost column,
Right on top,
Worst-case scenario.
The middle column,
Best-case scenario.
And the rightmost column,
Most likely scenario.
And then list down all the possible situations and outcomes for the worst-case scenario,
Best-case scenario,
And most likely scenario.
So in my case,
The worst-case situations were my husband got into a car accident and my husband got carjacked.
And the best-case scenario would be he got an important phone call with a big client and he's in the middle of closing a deal.
And the most possible scenario,
Given what I know of him,
Is he got caught up in some urgent work crisis and hasn't had the chance to look at his phone.
When we do this cognitive restructuring exercise,
It helps us challenge the catastrophic,
Irrational thoughts we have and calms us down to see what is the most likely situation instead.
Now,
For some of you,
This exercise is enough to stop you from worrying.
However,
Sometimes you might notice that despite this,
Your mind keeps going back to the worst-case scenarios repeatedly.
And that's where I feel traditional therapy methods is still somewhat lacking in that regard.
It assumes that humans are rational actors.
And now that we have challenged it,
We can see how irrational it is and the worrying is gone.
But humans are irrational actors driven by emotion.
And if you are highly anxious,
You might find your mind going back to worrying about the worst outcomes happening.
So if you're like me and you're highly anxious and you find that your mind keeps going back to worry and the worst-case scenarios after the cognitive restructuring exercise,
Try this next step to calm yourself down.
Take a deep breath in to the count of four,
Then hold your breath to the count of four.
Exhale to the count of four and hold the exhalation to the count of four.
And you repeat this for five or 10 rounds.
This method is called box breathing,
And it's a scientifically proven technique used by Navy SEALs to stay calm under pressure during combat situations.
Box breathing helps you lower your anxiety and induce a sense of calm.
And once you feel calmer,
Bring your thoughts back to the most likely scenario in your situation.
And each time you notice your mind straying into the worst thoughts,
Gently bring it back to the most likely situation.
Now,
If you have done meditation before,
It is similar,
Except you're directing your mind to the most likely situation.
Whenever you feel overwhelmed by catastrophic thoughts,
Repeat box breathing to help your mind calm down.
This three-step practice of cognitive restructuring,
Box breathing,
And bring your awareness to the most likely scenario will help you cope better with worry and anxiety over time.
And as you do this,
You develop greater emotional mastery.
And that is what will carry you through.
Thank you for listening.
And I will talk to you next week.
