Hello,
I'm Sarah.
According to traditional Chinese medicine,
The emotion associated with the fall is grief,
And one of my favorite practices for getting in touch with all that I am being invited to grieve is the Tibetan Buddhist practice of tonglen.
Tonglen literally means giving and receiving,
And at first tonglen seems counterintuitive because it is based on breathing in unwanted qualities such as darkness or anger,
And breathing out their opposite such as lightness or calmness.
And so courage is needed for this practice.
If you are feeling up for it today,
Settle in seated or laying down.
I often like to light a candle when I practice tonglen.
Taking several moments to breathe,
Noticing where you're connected with the earth,
With each inhale imagining your heart space expanding,
And with each exhale settling in.
We'll begin our tonglen practice by using yourself as the giver and the receiver.
And so breathing in heaviness and darkness,
Grief and sadness,
Breathing out lightness and brightness,
Healing or joy,
Or maybe breathing in the feeling of being stuck and trapped,
Breathing out the feeling of freedom and spaciousness.
Use your personal preferences and color,
Sounds,
Feelings,
Words,
Symbols,
Whatever works for you to represent the heaviness and the lightness.
Let your breath be natural and easy,
Placing equal emphasis on each aspect of breathing in and breathing out.
Taking time with this until the breathing in,
The heaviness or the darkness,
The grief or the sadness,
Feels in sync with breathing out the lightness,
The spaciousness.
Gradually enlarge the experience until you feel like you are breathing through the pores of your entire body.
Next,
Bring to mind a personal situation that you are grieving,
Or if you can't think of one,
Perhaps bring to mind an openness towards your own grief.
This could be anything that involves pain,
Unwanted thoughts,
Or other genuine feelings.
Instead of avoiding your personal suffering,
Try to focus on and receive it with your incoming breath so that it can be transformed into a sense of relief with each exhale.
Choosing something that works for you.
For example,
You could counteract the negativity by visualizing a glorious sunrise or a beautiful flower or exchanging it for a peaceful feeling.
After a minute or two,
Change your focus from the story behind the feelings to just the feelings themselves and continue breathing in the unwanted feelings and radiating out their opposite,
Giving each aspect the same amount of time.
When you feel strengthened in your ability to take in pain and send out relief and healing for yourself,
You are ready to practice Tonglen for these sick if others.
And if you're not ready,
Just stay with the practice focused on yourself.
To try practicing Tonglen for someone else,
Bring someone you care about and wish to help into your awareness.
This could be someone alive or past,
And begin taking their suffering into yourself,
Imagining that in that pause between your inhale and exhale,
You're transforming their suffering and breathing out relief.
Once more,
Start with the storyline in mind and then see if you can shift into just the feelings themselves.
When you get stuck,
Just notice it,
Receive it,
Transform it,
And send out its opposite.
Next,
Enlarge the taking in and sending out so that it encompasses all those who are in the same situation,
Anyone else who has the same suffering,
Confusion,
Or problem.
Breathe in their pain and send out relief.
In this phase,
You are practicing Tonglen for yourself as well as for all others.
Practice going back and forth between yourself and others if it is natural,
And allow the subject matter or issue to shift as it happens.
When your mind wanders,
As our minds will do,
Returning gently to your breath,
Returning to yourself,
Or perhaps the loved one that you brought to mind,
Or perhaps this practice of including all of those that are suffering in this similar way.
Breathing in their suffering,
Transforming,
Exhaling it into relief.
Francis Weller,
The author of the grief classic The Wild Edge of Sorrow,
Says,
Grief is subversive,
Undermining our society's quiet agreement that we will behave and be in control of our emotions.
It is an act of protest that declares our refusal to live numb and small.
There is something feral about grief,
Something essentially outside the ordained and sanctioned behaviors of our culture.
Because of that,
Grief is necessary to the vitality of the soul.
And so,
Acknowledging that in these few moments together,
You have done this necessary work to be more alive,
For your soul to live more fully.
Thank you for practicing with me today.
