So welcome everyone,
Welcome to session 22 of our 30 session introduction to meditation course.
And yes,
We are in session number two of our five part series on loving kindness or friendliness.
And this tonight's theme is ourselves.
So I'm 68 years old.
And after all of these years,
I still have trouble with self compassion,
I can be my own harshest critic.
My pattern is I'll be having a hard time because sometimes life is hard.
And instead of being easy on myself,
I'll get mad instead,
Maybe because I can't fix whatever's going on,
Or I'm not good enough,
Or not clever enough,
Not smart enough,
The list is endless.
And it's kind of unpleasant,
But it grows and it festers.
And sometimes you may have had similar experiences.
Unfortunately,
This harshness ends up coming out against the people closest to us.
And my meditation practice has helped me become aware of this pattern.
And when I wake up and notice it,
Rather than continuing the cycle of being judgmental or critical,
I remind myself to exercise my muscle of self compassion.
I take a moment to pause,
Breathe and notice what I'm doing.
Saying to myself,
Hey,
You're fine.
It's okay to be nice to yourself,
Sending myself some love.
And sometimes I actually put my hands over my heart.
As I do this,
It really honestly does help to touch yourself like this.
So let's practice sending some love to you from you.
And I hope you all enjoy the meditation.
Let's begin.
Coming now to sit.
Entering into our meditation.
Setting your intention to be here,
Present and alert.
And taking a few moments to settle into your favorite meditation posture.
Sitting or lying,
Whichever you prefer.
And finding a position that supports your body so your body can relax.
Beginning with three deep,
Calming breaths.
Breathing in through your nose.
And exhaling through your mouth,
Making a soft sighing sound.
And as you breathe out,
Imagining that all the cares and worries of the day falling away.
Setting them aside.
Closing your mouth,
Continuing to breathe in and out through your nose.
And softening your forehead,
Eyes,
Cheeks,
Jaw,
Shoulders,
Hands.
Loosening your chest.
Relaxing your lower back.
Releasing your belly and groin,
Legs and feet.
With each out breath,
Releasing any tension,
Tightness that you might find in your body.
Layer by layer,
And breath by breath.
Checking in with your mental posture,
Your equanimity.
An openness,
An easygoing-ness.
Accepting that things aren't perfect.
Whatever is going on in and around you,
Just welcome it.
Be comfortable being uncomfortable at times.
Bringing your awareness to the sensations of breath.
Simply sitting,
Enjoying the feeling of your breath.
As it comes in,
A tiny pause.
As it goes out,
A pause.
In,
Deep,
Slow,
Body,
Calm.
Let's warm up our loving-kindness by first starting with someone else.
Bringing to mind the image of someone for whom you care for.
Partner,
Spouse,
Child,
Grandchild.
Friend,
Someone you want to be happy.
Imagine them laughing and smiling.
Notice how this makes you feel.
Perhaps imagining that your heart is kind of like a shining lantern.
Radiating light.
Your desire to wish someone well.
And then add in a phrase,
Such as,
May you be well.
And as you imagine your person,
Repeating your phrase over and over again,
May you be well.
Feeling free to swap the pronoun for the person's actual name.
Good.
Now let's apply this same idea to ourselves.
And understanding that we all go through hard times.
And by accepting this,
We give ourselves the space to notice when we're hurting.
And take a moment to send ourselves some loving thoughts.
We pop out of our normal response and find a wider perspective.
From here,
In this wider place,
You send yourself some caring thoughts.
Repeating some phrases to yourself.
May I be happy.
May I be well.
May I be safe.
May I be peaceful and active.
At ease.
Feel free to adjust the phrases if you want.
It's the intention that's important.
And if you'd like,
You can place one hand over your heart and one hand over your belly.
And just keep repeating your phrases.
May I be happy.
May I be well.
May I be safe.
May I be peaceful and at ease.
And perhaps it might feel a little awkward or contrived at first.
But keep going.
Keep practicing.
All with this idea that,
Yes,
I want to feel better.
And if and when your mind wanders,
Notice,
Smile,
And come back to your breath and your phrases and begin again.
May I be happy.
May I be well.
May I be well.
May I be safe.
May I be peaceful and at ease.
Our practice tonight is building the desire to offer ourselves this caring and compassion.
Keep going using your phrases.
May I be happy.
May I be well.
May I be safe.
May I be peaceful and at ease.
Now let all of this effort go.
Just enjoying time to sit and do nothing.
Which is also very caring.
Being here is enough.
Breathing in,
I know I am breathing in.
Breathing out,
I know I am breathing out.
Breathing in,
I am aware of my whole body.
Breathing out,
I am calming my body.
Calm.
Breathing in,
I am safe in my body.
Breathing out,
I am home in my body.
Breathing in,
I am home in my body.
Safe.
Home.
Breathing in,
Opening my heart to all the love inside.
Breathing out,
Opening my heart to all the love inside.
Safe.
Sometimes when we feel bad,
We add to the pain by criticizing ourselves for feeling that way.
Because maybe we think it's selfish or self-pitying or who knows what.
Which of course just makes us feel even worse.
So much kinder to say,
I'm in pain.
May I be happy,
Well,
Safe,
And at ease.
To take a moment to send yourself some self-care.
Even if it's just for a second or two.
It can make you feel better.
And it builds compassion for everyone else too.
Since we're all pretty much going through life doing the best we can.
We're all in it together.
And as RuPaul once said,
If you can't love yourself,
How the heck are you going to love someone else?
And slowly,
Gradually,
Emerging from your meditation.
Releasing and relaxing your meditation posture.
Wiggling your toes and your fingers.
Rolling your ankles,
Your wrists.
Rubbing your legs.
Rocking side to side to bring a little bit of motion back into your bodies to wake them up slowly.
And taking a deep breath in and stretching your arms up high and a nice big stretch up.
And as you lower your arms,
Letting out a sigh.
Reaching behind to your lower back.
Giving your lower back a massage.
Bringing your hands around to your belly.
And gently holding your belly.
As you offer your affirmations of loving kindness to yourself,
Beginning with,
I am well.
Bringing your hands up over your heart.
In offering,
I am happy,
Loved,
And loving.
Crossing your arms,
Putting your hands on your opposite shoulders,
Giving yourself a hug.
And as you lightly stroke down your arm from shoulder to elbow,
Offering for yourself,
I am safe.
At home.
In my body.
With my breath.
And rubbing your face,
Your forehead,
Your eyes,
Nose,
Cheeks,
Jaw,
Mouth.
Up over your head,
Through your hair,
Around to the back of your neck.
Pausing to give your neck and shoulders a massage.
Bringing your hands back to your heart and back to your belly.
Offering,
May I be peaceful and at ease.
And take a moment to appreciate this gift of self-care that you gave yourself tonight and coming together as a group to share it with each other in a community.
And take these good feelings with you into the rest of your evening,
Rest of your week.
Rubbing the palms of your hands together,
Warming them.
Placing them over your eyes,
Feeling the warmth of your hands.
And with the next in-breath,
Opening your eyes.
And as you breathe out,
Slowly lowering your hands,
Returning your awareness to the room around you.
With love to you,
From you.
Good,
Good.
Thanks,
Mark.
Thank you,
Mark.
Thank you,
Mark.
Thank you,
Mark.
You're welcome.
Now,
Last week,
You had some homework about walking along.
And then if you see somebody,
You nod and smile,
Let them know that you see them and say hello.
I hope you had a chance to practice it once or twice.
This week,
Your homework is,
As you go about your day,
And you realize that you may have gotten some unpleasant self-talk track going on in the background,
When you notice that,
Take a deep breath in and go through your phrases one time.
May I be happy.
May I be well.
May I be safe.
May I be peaceful.
