Chris Bale is the founder of Masculine Intent. He is an internationally known spiritual mentor and master energy worker. He is an ignitor of that which is real and that which has been forgotten. He and Ruwan speak about masculinity. Afterwhich, Ruwan felt a shift in my view of myself.
Meet your Teacher
New York, NY, USA
Transcript
Today's guest is Chris Bale, Founder of MasculineIntents. Com. And what I enjoyed about this conversation the most, In addition to everything he had to say, Was his intense calm. The best way I could describe him, I'm sure he can come across on the audio. I definitely felt it speaking to him over video call on the Crowdcast. And I feel that he really walks the talk of being in the moment, Being in the world, Not of it. And I think as someone who works in the industry of helping people be themselves, It was very refreshing to speak to someone who, From everything I experienced with him in this conversation, Really is where he is, Down to his workflow, The way he runs his business, If he even calls it that, His work, His life. It seems like he's really living the Taoist philosophy in some senses. And if you didn't guess, We do speak quite a bit on masculinity. More from the individual's perspective than from a sociological and cultural perspective. And I really enjoyed speaking with him. I highly recommend checking his work out, MasculineIntent. Com. He has a diverse background and covers a lot of different topics that are really fun. I enjoyed perusing his work a few hours before speaking with him. And right now, You're listening to Episode 0-20, Chris Bale, Masculine Intent. You're listening to the Ruwando Podcast, Perpetual Orgasm, Infinite Play. Please subscribe on iTunes and enjoy the show. All right, We're live. Hey, Chris. Hey, How are you? Great, Great. So, We have a couple of live viewers. I just want to let everyone know that we can see your chat. If you have any questions for Chris or myself, Feel free to communicate with us. And Chris, I've been watching a bunch of your videos and reading your blogs this morning. And I want to start off with a general question. How do you define masculinity? And do you even have a concrete definition? How do I define masculinity? It's a tricky question because I think there's going to be different facets of what it means to be a man in terms of the energetics. It's like there's going to be different facets for a woman, But in essence, The work that I'm doing with men specifically is giving them the permission or assisting them and bringing them back to doing whatever they want to do in the way they want to do it and follow their energy in the way that it moves. Because what we're doing right now in the world is that most men are completely terrified of being men. This is the issue. And I always say it's very difficult to be a man without being a man. Therefore, The problem with masculinity is that the man is trying to figure out how do I be masculine. It's like a woman coming to me and asking me, How do I be a woman? You're a woman. What are you doing to stop yourself from being that? Which you already are. So that's kind of how I come to that. So for you, Is your process like a more of a taking away, Taking away things that prevent you from being yourself? Because from what I understand, What you just said, A man is already a man. He just has a bunch of junk that's preventing him from being what he is. It's conditioning. Yeah, Most definitely it's conditioning. And so the man has been raised, It's the male figures that he's experienced and the people that he's been around in his life that has begun to separate him from that. And all you got to do is look around in society and you can see the insanity that everybody's playing with. So for a man, It's most definitely letting go of the lies that have been put into him. But in order to do that, The man has to become aware of the programs that are running that have nothing to do with them. They don't even fucking belong to him. Yeah, I think it's very confusing for particularly young men today in 2017, Because there's been all the tropes of the 1950s hard-nosed stoic men. And then there's the idea of the really soft new age guy. And it seems like we just have switched. Even in my own lifetime, I'm 29, It's just been a switch where there's been no middle grounders. Men who are younger than me, Who I meet with, Are super feminized. And their idea of the lives that they're going against are just the opposite of what maybe two generations ago, Those Stanley Kowalski guys were running on. Where do you think, Is there something missing? I think a lot of guys were trying to combat the lives of their previous generation, But then they just switched without finding themselves. Well, I mean, You said it, They miss themselves. You see, In the man's search for being a man, He looks to other men, He looks to past figures. He looks to his father, Maybe his friends. Then he looks to movies, He looks to the past, How people like gangsters are shown. Men in suits, You can see all these inspirational entrepreneur-agrams with these men in suits with big beards standing beside cars, You know, With some lame ass quote, Equaling success. Now, This is going to confuse men, Especially when the man has never met himself, When he doesn't even know how powerful he is, Because he's been running around in circles, And trying to figure out who he is. But in that whole mechanism of self-help, He's been missing himself every single time. So the most terrifying thing for a man is to come back to that. I'm curious about your process with the individual's journey, But I'm also wondering, On a cultural level, A lot of these lies, Conditioning, We can blame on society or media or upbringing or just group thinking that has been going on. Do you think that there's something that should be changed on the cultural level, Or do you find that it is what it is, Let an individual figure out his own way in response to whatever lies are going on? Well, I think one of the main issues is that the individual needs to question himself fully. Sorry, I'm just moving because the light is so bad. It's the individual that needs to start questioning himself. The lies are coming from society. The lies are coming from parents, From how a man is being raised. Society is not built in a way that's going to support any evolution of any person in it. The way I see it is that I want to be fully within society, But without being a part of it. And also stop me if I'm like veering off into different things. I love veering, It's my favorite. Depending on what you ask me. But there's so much confusion, So much confusion out there, That the answer to a man's problem is handed to him in a complicated manner by someone else who is completely lost in their own life. Most of the coaches out there are sicker than the patients. So you're dealing with people who are sharing toxicity thinking it's helping people when in essence is actually driving the man further off the cliff and away from his own power. Being a man is simple. Being a man is beautiful. So simple. But it's coming up against your own power, Which is terrifying. So that's what I see repeatedly in my own life as an example. But in every other man's life as well that I come in contact with through the work that I do. Yeah, I feel the same way. And I often get frustrated with people. I get criticism sometimes for not making more political statements and not getting involved. Because actually, I just read you wrote something about the mental diet and what you consume. Could you say a little more about that? Is that simply cutting yourself off from empty calories of the mind? Energy follows thought. If you understand how what we're living in works, Then you will realize that energy follows thought every single time without fail. If that wasn't the case, Then I couldn't do the work that I do, I wouldn't be able to, You know, Do the energy work that I do, And show it and say, Hey, Look what's possible in a very abrupt and over the top way. So when you realize energy follows thought, You got to look at the most consistent thing that's running you in your life. And that's your mind. Now when you're not consciously working with that thing that's dragging you around with a fucking nose all day as a man, Especially, You're gonna wake up one day realizing what the hell have I created? Because I don't want any part of this. And it's the reason the man is miserable. The man is sad. The man is lost. The man doesn't feel like a man. Being a man is simple. Life is actually simple. Abundance is simple. But we can't look at it. Society complicates it. Because society can't sell simple. Yeah, There needs to be a problem otherwise you'll buy anything. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. What you just said made me think of a couple things. Like, It sounds like you're on one hand, You're saying what you should be doing all day is kind of in a sense, Meditating, Monitoring your thoughts. Is that a fair statement? Well who else is going to do it? Right. And it makes me think of like, I mean, I see how like this simple idea is what perhaps grew into what the law of attraction craze fad thing is about like, Thoughts become things. But there is, I mean, When you say it in the way you said it, It's like very, Of course, You create what you make and you're the only one who can control your thoughts. I am curious about the energy works. I just caught the YouTube video where you're working with one of your clients and he's kind of spazzing out and I've had brief experiences with like KQ force. Is that what you were doing? Or is there a specific modality? There's not a specific modality. And I realize how douchey it can sound at times because guys will come to me and say, Hey, You know, I was there when you were working with my wife or my girlfriend or my friend went to you when they were talking about the crazy experience. It's like, How do you do it? Like what's the technique? Can you teach me how to do it? I wish I could say, Yeah, Here's the technique. Here's the modality. But it is no technique because if I can do it in person, And I can do it from distance 20, 000 miles away via Skype, There can't be a technique. It's consciousness. It's the understanding that everything is one, Everything's connected. I'm being so clear in yourself. I'm being so in your own body being so present that you can feel other people moving in you. I always kind of come to a standstill when it's my turn to express or explain this because there's so many angles I can come up to explain it. There is no modality. Energy is simple. You don't need a modality. You are energy. We are all energy. We are all connected to it. We're all using it every single day, Whether we want to or not. As a man, You were a God. You're here to create things. Now we'll say that and people will get up in a row. You can't say that. Yeah. Well, I hear what you're saying now. I agree, But then when I see what you did in the video, I still have all these analytical questions. Where did that come from? If there's no modality, How did you discover it? Was it like a kid who learns how to wiggle his ears or was there some progression of thought? I discovered it. I discovered it as cheesy as this kind of sound. I discovered it by discovering myself. You see, I was so caught up like everybody else in the mental processes of everything, Of overcomplicating absolutely everything. A man will see that and he'll come to me and say, How can I do that? And then I'll ask him, Okay, Just as an example, If you were to see a beautiful woman who inspired you walking down the road, Could you walk over and let her know that effortlessly and powerfully? And he'll most likely cringe or make a weird face or say no outright. Well, Then I'll say, Well, If you're not even okay being a man in that situation, How do you expect to be a man in that situation? You see, You can't be afraid of yourself in one place and not afraid of yourself in another place. It doesn't work like that. You can't be in your power. We're all incredibly powerful. But if you're afraid of yourself, You are walking away from yourself. This comes down to you really getting back in your body as a human as your physicality is there, Finding out what's going on in you, Acknowledging the bullshit you're telling yourself. And then doing what you got to do to start eradicating it. Everybody's full of shit. And everybody's pretending that they're not full of shit. And I'm in nowhere here to support telling someone Yeah, Just take it slow. No, You don't have a lot of time here. So if you want to be incredibly powerful, It's difficult to be incredibly powerful if you're not being incredibly powerful. Yeah, You can't be powerful if you're afraid of yourself. You see, As a man, You're you're free flowing masculine energy. That's how I do the energy work. Because I finally arrived the place in my life where I'm not afraid of how my energy is moving. I'm not trying to control it. I'm not trying to do anything to it or with it. I'm allowing it move me. Now, That's going to put me in some very overwhelming situations. Because we're not here to be politically correct. So already, We come up against a problem. So the thing that like I witnessed in the YouTube video that perhaps seems like a superpower or magical power, Whatever, For you, It's just an extension of like the next level of tension. Like it's just like on a continuum of talking to a woman who's beautiful or meeting a challenge. It's just the next thing. Like if you jump, Jump enough, Jump high enough, You'll fly that kind of idea. You're doing it all the time. You're always interacting with energy. See the only difference between me and somebody else is that I'm telling myself this flies everywhere. Because I realized energy follows thought I speak to it. I tell it exactly what I want it to do and how I want to do it. And then I have the patience and presence and wait with it until it starts to do what I've directed it to do. Again, Bringing it back to the point that as a man here, You're a god. You can't do that if you don't believe that. Whatever goes on in you is what's happening. So if I'm, You know, Working with a woman to open her up, And she's in Australia, For example, Or she's in Indonesia or America. If I need my penis to reach America, I gotta say my penis is reaching America, Then I gotta look and see it reaching her. And I see her go into that. Energy follows thought everything is connected. I don't care how abstract what I'm saying sounds. It needs to be kept simple. Energy follows thought. As soon as you just accept it, And literally accept the burden that that drops on you. Because every moment you're being unconscious, You're creating shit that you probably don't want. So when you're full of conditioning, When you're full of the things that society are telling us, You're just creating the same thing that you don't want over and over and over again. People are so caught up with being humble. When it's the most egotistical place a person can be. I'll say to someone, Who are you not to be utterly magnificent? Who are you to play small? Who do you assume anyone else should play small? Because we really know nothing. We just like to think we do. Yeah, False humility is such a popular, I guess just like almost a default expression for a lot of people. And I'm guilty of it myself as well. Yeah, Me too. Most definitely. Yeah. So I'm curious about your progression. Like, We don't have to go into your entire backstory, Except that you've experienced many different things. But like for the things you just shared, The idea that energy follows thought the confidence that if you're Skyping with a woman having your penis reached across the world, Like, I'm sure there's a time where you didn't believe in that, I'm assuming. Of course. Of course. So like, How did where did that shift come? Is there something you attribute to it? Was it just a progression? Like, How did you arrive at where you are? By the grace of something. It's been such a long process, And it continues. It really continues. The basis of everything that I do, And what I've been on has just becoming more and more conscious becoming more and more present in my physicality in my body. So I'm actually in connection with life because your body is a consistent feedback mechanism. The mind is like a retarded baby trying to drive a car. It's completely you just got to avoid it. Realistically, It's it's not a good place to be. It ruins people's lives. So my progression has, Well, I appreciate your use of the word retarded in your copy. And verbally, I think a lot of people are afraid of that word now because of all the political correctness. People are afraid of everything, Right? Everything. And if anyone knows me, They know that I am I'm in no way out there to to bully anyone or to there's no bad intentions. I gotta be as real as possible to assist people because I would have needed that in the past as well. So yeah, When I say retarded, I'm not saying the person is retarded. I mean, What the person has taken in on how the person is moving in their life is completely retarded. Society is completely retarded. And I've no problem saying it. Because I don't want to be around that. Not because I'm better than anybody. But because it took me so long to catch my own retardation man drag it out of me. So that was my process. Just tearing tearing the life out of myself. Realizing how much I was lying and tricking myself. Nobody else was on me. It was full of shit. So much bullshit. And again, It's a process and it's terrifying to have your life pulled out from underneath you. But you really got to get to a place where you're like, I've had enough. I can't, I won't keep being here in this way. So did you have like a rock bottom moment that spurred you into all this spiritual growth? A lot of them. I mean, I think I think nobody ever really has this one moment that just changes everything. I really think it's a collection of these moments. The first moment of my life where that came on, I started meditating at about 17 or 18. I used to be crippled with anxiety. I couldn't even go to the shop. I would go to the shop, But I have to go to the supermarket to buy like a bottle of water. I knew I'd have to interact with the cashier. So it would take me an hour or two to pluck up the courage to go to the shop to buy a bottle of water. I mean, Completely terrified of people. But really, I was just terrified of myself. I was terrified of what everybody's terrified in this planet. And that's a feeling. So my whole process was getting back to allowing myself and giving myself the permission to feel what was going on in me and not hide it. Because I was always so concerned with strapping on a smile and being accommodating and making sure everybody but me was happy. And I was killing myself in the process, Eating myself. So coming from that place, I guess I just had many moments where I wasn't willing to stay there. But I was also angry. There was lots of frustration. When you pull that remote under yourself, When you shine a spotlight on that, You begin to get deeper and deeper and deeper and deeper into your own trickery to the point where I realize that everything is completely meaningless. I have placed meaning on the most ridiculous things, And I have let them run my life. And never once have I asked myself, What do I want to do? What do I want to say? What do I need just as a man? What do I need as a man just to be happy? Because it's very simple. But I never thought I could say it. Every man out there is terrified of being a man. It's the biggest problem I see when I meet a man. Every man I meet is in feminine posture. Terrified of just saying what he likes, Saying what he wants, And expecting it. You're a god, Expect it. Because you showing up like that, You get to open the woman to the most beautiful parts of herself. You get to be a woman around you. Do you find that asking for what you want is a masculine trait? You're talking about the guys in feminized posture, Or is it the fact that they're just being inauthentic in a feminized posture? I think that they don't feel like they deserve what they want. And some men don't even know what they want because they feel like they don't deserve that much that they've never even inquired. They've never given themselves the opportunity to even ask themselves. Again, They've never met themselves. But it's the same for women. The women I work with, You got to ask for what you want. You got to go out there and do what you want. I'm curious about your take on men cultivating their feminine side, Because that's a popular term as a response to the 1950s stereotype of a man. And a lot of coaches, Male coaches, David Data, Following type coaches, Always talk about cultivating that feminine side. And I love what you wrote about learning more from women, Learning the most from women. You had a post on that. And I found that I had a lot of great male coaches, But it wasn't until I really spent time with women that I felt like a lot of the principles I was trying to live by internalized. But this is all to say that I do see a lot of men take it too far because they become feminine. Like, What is your take on that? It really depends who you listen to, Who you are around, Because there's so much advice out there. And you're right, Most men who go into any aspect of self-help, All they're really doing is developing their feminine side, But not from a real place. They're developing it from a place of them using it to try and get something. They're using it as a tool for manipulation. But the other side of the coin is that the man goes so far into just trying to be direct and bold that he loses any ability to have that femininity in him. What I'd say is as a conscious man, And a conscious man knows that the most powerful part of him is his femininity. He knows that what gives him his oomph with a woman, What allows him to glance at a woman and have her, It's his ability to sense so deeply into her, Because he's so sensitive and well developed in his own femininity, That mother energy in him is so awake and alive, That it actually allows him to be more masculine than the average man out there. You can't have one without the other. So if a man is just looking to build his masculinity, He's going to be terrified of women, Of his femininity. You got to be willing to go so deeply into feeling as a man that you've met your internal woman, You know her so well, You've sensed her so deeply on, She has challenged your masculinity in you to hold presence and consciousness with her. So the feeling can clean. You see, Men are really here just to clean women. Men are here to assist a woman so she can open the man is the consciousness, The man is the spirit, That's it. The woman is life. But life can't grow without something shining on it. But if a man can't even be present with himself, Then the woman is just gonna dry up and die. Which is what you see, Women walking around like men, Hardened, Unable to receive anything, Unable to give anything, Trying to compete with men. The fuck out of here. Don't walk like that. Yeah, It's the saddest thing about the third wave of feminism that it just taught women to act like men and just create a lot of resentment between the sexes. What do you think the differences between, Let's say, Just in general men who get into self-help who either become feminized when they get in touch with their feminine side versus becoming more masculine, As you say, With the mother energy? Because I've seen, Including with myself, In spending a lot of time with women, Sometimes men they do act as like, Oh, I can handle women now, But they also start picking up feminine behaviors, Even now it's like body language or vocal cadence or expression. And I see this in myself when I spend a lot of time with women as well. What do you think the difference is? I don't understand the question. Like men who in their pursuit of consciousness become more feminine behaving as they get in touch with their ability to sense and feel. Okay, I still don't understand. Like I hear what you're saying, But I don't understand the question. Is it what's wrong with them? What causes that as opposed to a man who gets in touch with his feminine side and actually becomes more feminine? Okay, Now I understand. Thank you for the clarity. It's very easy. The people they're listening to and the information they're getting is not full. Or the person that they're listening to isn't embodied in the way that they need to be to pass on that information. I mean, It's pretty simple that there's going to be something lacking. The reason the person ends up like that is because society in no way is prepared for a man to be a man. That's it. Plain and simple. Society also isn't prepared for a woman to be a woman. So you've got these really negative feminine and masculine traits that are being seen as being feminine, Has been seen as being masculine. So the people, Even the people who are coaches and who teach Tantra and all this stuff, Everything's so fluffy. There's no realness to anything. And it still takes people away from themselves. So I think that's when people who've been to everyone knows these people who've been to all these workshops and all these seminars, And they've done all these meditation, Spiritual ceremonies. And they're like, I've contacted all these things in me. And I'm this and I'm that and I'm this and you see them and it's like, But you're not even here. You're not even in your body. You're caught up in this fantasy that you put yourself into being here and being present isn't a fantasy. It's real, It's overwhelming. The part of being here as a human is being overwhelmed, Being totally okay with it. That's when you've touched on who you are. But everyone's trying to do stuff to bypass that. I want to feel the good overwhelming this, I want to feel the good things. And then the minute they get present, And they feel something they don't like, It's like, Oh, The being the being present isn't working anymore, Chris. So that's my response to that question. The information isn't real enough. So it drags the person in the wrong direction. So do you find promises that isn't real? Do you find that maybe I'm oversimplifying this, But I wanted to simplify it, I guess. Feeling the unpleasant feelings is what's going to make a man in touch with himself? Feeling everything. Everything, Without judging or labeling it. So what are you doing today? Feeling. Oh, How are you feeling today? Which is a very common question. How are you feeling today? Which no one answers truthfully ever. Oh, I'm great. Yeah, Great. So I see, I hold myself accountable via my communication with myself and to others. So when someone asks me how I'm doing, I'll just say feeling. How are you doing feels? What are you doing feels? And if at any moment I catch bullshit fall out of my mouth or some pre rehearsed line, I stop myself, And I clarify out loud to the person and says, Let me let me re clarify that because that wasn't real. I'm re clarifying it for myself because I need to hold myself to a specific standard in my own life. Not for them. It's really for me. And again, Catching yourself in your own trickery. It's all about this process of you owning up to everything and your communication, Our communication is so important. Energy follows thoughts, The words we use are so crucial to what goes on inside of us and how we feel about ourselves and how we relate to the feelings that are going on. I'd imagine that you probably interrupt people's everyday trance that they're in when you answer the question, How are you doing in a different way? I'd imagine people like have to do a double take because they're expecting good or so so or whatever. Do you find yourself in longer conversations when people are just trying to small talk? Yes and no. Sometimes I don't want to be in the conversation. Just because the person doesn't feel right to me, So I leave that interaction. Sometimes a person will be very open and curious and interesting, Which is wonderful. I love that because I get to unburden myself. Other people are just excruciatingly uncomfortable and need to go away. But also it depends on the gender. So when I'm coming to a man, It's different to when I'm coming to a woman. There's going to be different parts of me that I'm utilizing when I'm engaging with the different genders and the different persons specifically. You see, I got to be so here that I know where the person's at. I got to know why they're asking me the question. I hear the question, But I got to see, Well, Where's the question coming from in their consciousness? Two people could ask me the exact same question verbally. But I need to be here so I can feel what's going on in them and why they've asked me the question so I can actually respond accordingly. But in terms of longer interactions, Yes and no. Gotcha. Because that was the first thing that came to mind was like, If I answered 100% truthfully to the benign questions, I'd probably end up in conversations I didn't feel like, With people I didn't feel like. So I'm thinking like, Where am I untruthful? With people I don't want to talk to is probably where I'm most untruthful. Yeah, I'm fine. I don't want to talk to them. Well, A lot of it like, I don't know anybody, Anything but myself first and foremost. So when someone asks me questions, I don't need to respond to them. You know, I don't need to give them something that I'm not in the place I want to give something to them in that way. I just do what I want to do when I want to do it, Based on how I'm feeling, Based on what my body's sending to me. What my body wants to do is what I do. I don't really have a choice anymore. I'm moved by it. And I think that's one of the most powerful places that we can be because it makes everything so simple. When you're here, Not for yourself, You're not here to tell the truth for yourself or to get something or, Or to be happy for you. Because that's really scary having to face and go against everything for you. That's that's a hell of a job that I don't think anybody wants or needs. I'm in the understanding and the physical felt sense and and really just from experience that I'm here for life, You're here for life. We're all here for life. So I have life on my side. So I'm being real for life. I'm being truthful for life. So I don't care how many people are in the room. I'm being there for life. I'm being there real and life repays me in that process. When you're courageous and when you're choosing to be authentic in who you are, And you're really willing to put yourself out there and say what's real life just showers you with abundance in ways that previously I had no understanding of. It's like, Well, I didn't even think that this was possible. I live a royal life now without having to do anything except be real. Yeah, I love what you wrote about. I love what you wrote about how everyone likes to play work. And I found that myself related to what you said earlier, The biggest challenge for me to be present is my to-do list or the things that I'm moving towards my goals. I find myself periodically in this battle between wanting to be where I am and move towards these intentions that I've set. I'm wondering your take on productivity. Is it even a thing you care about or are you just going from action to action? I'm just going from action to action. Again, I also get what there's a lot of feedback happening. Sorry, My mic might be a little too hot. Is that better? Yeah, That should be better, I think. So I was a very productive person before I had my morning routines and my goals. I'd write everything off and I'd tick them all off when I had them done. That's just the way that I was. And it didn't really do much for me, Except make me more stressed and more caught up in shit that really doesn't matter. Had me wasting a lot of time on things that I thought I wanted, But I really didn't. So for me, The process of coming back to what's real has been, Well, Life is no understanding of this thing that we all call work. We've put ourselves to work. We've created the whole thing. We've just put ourselves into it. So do I get up and have specific plans every day? No, I don't. Not anymore. I don't work anymore. Nothing I do feels like work. If there's something I don't want to do, I don't do it. And I'll ask someone else if they could do it for me. And in the most cases, I have some wonderful women around me and they'll all assist and do what needs to do because they know what they got to do for them to be healthy. And it just so happens that naturally what a man does is different to what a woman does. And the man can be a man and the woman gets to be a woman. So everything is beautiful. Everything is perfect. Everything looks after itself. So the man is not supposed to be out there doing all these minute micro tasks, Trying to keep track of everything. The woman is beautifully intuitional at being immediate. The woman will keep people alive. The woman nourishes life. The woman handles all the details that need to be done right now so the man can start moving forward in the direction that they need to go. That's sexist, Chris. I don't care. I don't care. All you got to do is look at a man who's being a man and look at the women that he's with. And you'll see how happy and fulfilled and freed up in their own lives they are as women. They are not attached. They don't need the man. But they work well together. Don't you find that goals and future, Being conscious of the future, Isn't that a masculine thing? Like, Is that something you still pay attention to? Or is it just like when you're planning a future workshop that the pieces will fall into place? Yes, Completely. Just how my process works, I'll get a feeling or a notion or an inspiration to do something. Or someone will contact me and say, Hey, I'd love for you to do a retreat here or talk to a group here. What I'll do is I'll do some very simple form of divination on it, Where I can just directly speak to what I got to speak to, Something that's worked for me continuously in the past. That'll give me my answer. And I'll ask it where to go. I'll ask it how much to charge. I'll ask it how many people to take on, Who to take on, Who not to take on. Just makes everything very simple. Is that through meditation? Or do you have a different process every time? Well, The process is simple. It's just a very simple, Practical divination, Too. So many people will use pendulums or people which is very, You can engage with it and interact and mess it up yourself. I use something called OB divination. OB divination is, I'm quite ignorant on the actual basis where it comes from, The religion it comes from, But it's from a type of life understanding, An African group called IFA. I think it resembled or came from a tribe of some sort. But nonetheless, It works for me. It's never steered me wrong. And I'll go to it if I need to go to it. But more often than not, I don't need to go to it. I'm not thinking of the future. I don't want to think of the future. Is it a masculine trait? Maybe it is. I don't know. If it is, I don't have any of it because I'm just enjoying being where I am right now so much. I'm enjoying having as much sex as I can possibly have with the most wonderful women in my life. I'm focused on being in as much feeling as possible and connected to the mother energy as possible in my life. I'm focused on being here on pleasing myself as a man. I don't need anything to please me other than me. That's where a man really needs to aspire to be at. I don't need a woman to please me. I don't need anything to please me. I please myself by honoring myself enough to say what I want to do what I want to do and assist people in the process. That's what's real for me. And that might be different for everybody else. I don't want to complicate it. At what point did you feel called to become a coach? At the beginning, I was coaching to help myself. At the beginning, I was coaching because I was trying to learn pickup or I was trying to learn how to get good girls or whatever you want to call it. And yeah, It just kind of happened in that way. I remember writing a blog and sharing all my own experiences of the things I was doing and the stuff I was learning. Like a field report? People were just pretty much yeah, Those horrible things. And in that process, Men started contacting me saying, Oh, I see your progress. Can I speak to you? Can I meet up with you? And that rolled into me then charging $20 for a day with a guy and say, Well, I might as well charge if they're seeing my you know, They want my time. And that progressed and progressed and then just started to grow. And as it started to grow, I started to grow. And then I got to a crucial point about two years ago where my shit started to crumble. And I couldn't keep being full of shit and what I was doing. So there was a big overhaul that started to happen. Which in essence, Had my work and my life change. Because you can't change one thing and not have absolutely everything else move with it. So what was that like, That crumble? Scary. Very scary. Very confusing. But I was more angry at myself than anything. Really fucking hated myself. And I was sick. Like my body just broke down. You'd all that self hatred, I guess. And all the productivity and all the hustling I was doing. I just burnt myself out. I don't want to be in front of the computer. I just don't want to be sitting in front of computers all day. I don't want to be typing all day. I don't want to be releasing content all day. I want to be speaking to people. I want to be enjoying myself. I want to be meeting wonderful people and experiencing my life. I don't want to be trying to create something when it's already here for me. So in that realization, I was pissed off that I had sold out. And I saw where it got me, Which was a hospital bed, Which was chronically fatigued, Which was adrenally destroyed, Digestively completely compromised. All of these things, My body just started to crumble. That was my saving grace. Where I wasn't listening, So life swooped in and said, Motherfucker, Stop. And I didn't have a choice. And then you restarted your coaching career from there? I never started coaching after that. Okay. I haven't coached since. I've just allowed myself to be totally myself. People want to talk to me, And people want to switch or swap value or exchange value for that. I don't promise anything to anybody, Starting the retreat that I had last week. Every time I got a group together, I sit down and the first thing I say is I have absolutely nothing for any one of you. You have everything you need. I'm just going to keep telling you the truth until you realize you don't need me anymore. Because nobody needs anything. You're here with everything you need, And you leave with everything you need. But there's nobody out there. First of all, Embodying that and walking around in their life is that. Secondly, There's no one just sharing it. So how do people get it? Which is why I'm really stepping up the process that I'm doing right now, With the amount of people that I'm assisting. That's why I'm going to be traveling a lot more, Working with a lot more people. Because we need more people like this. We need more people to just allow themselves to be a person. It's like, Dude, Just allow yourself to be a human. What the fuck? We've just been laid to. And it's not okay. There's nothing okay about it. So I'm here for men and I'm here for women. I'm here for both of them in a little bit of a different way. But I'm here for myself first. I'm not a coach. I don't owe anybody anything. Nobody should feel like they owe anybody anything. Because we have a bunch of people out there trying to do things for everybody else, And they've never even done it to themselves. How unconscious is that? And you don't even know what you're working with. It's all simple. It's all so simple. But it's missed. It feels very freeing to hear, As I guess you don't refer to yourself as a coach, But a man who helps guide people. I don't know. Do you give yourself a title? That's always been a challenge for me. I hate the word coach, But when people ask me what I do, Especially if I don't have a 10-hour conversation with them. I'm relentless in being here. I'm relentless in being in my body, Always with everyone, Always present. From the moment I open my eyes in the morning to the moment I go to bed, My singular priority is am I here? Because if I'm not here, I'm not going to make any decision that's going to move me in the direction I need to move for life. And life will eat my ass up, And I'll eat my ass up. Everyone's sick and fatigued because they're not listening. They're not here. They'll sit and meditate for 20 minutes and think that that will change their life. No, It won't. And I say that and people go, Well, You can't say that. Yeah, Meditation has become a life hack that people try to squeeze in for more productivity. You got to meditate always, Whatever it means to you. If I was speaking to you right now, When I was up in my head trying to think of the best things to say to you, I'm not going to be able to touch upon you or anybody else who's listening because internally the truth in you will just smell the bullshit. And what I've realized, And the most amazing thing for me to witness has been, When you tell people the truth, The real truth, They start to find it in themselves. And they didn't even know it was there. It's almost like it comes up to meet truth. Truth recognizes truth. And the person just starts to shift. I sat down with people for five minutes and they can walk off and do their life completely different now. Not because I'm amazing, Or I'm good at what I do, But because I'm relentlessly being here for truth. And life is that wonderful. Life is that generous. Life helps you when you're willing to be courageous enough to be here because it's overwhelming and you feel a lot. But that's where the deliciousness of life is. Awesome. What do you say to people who are overcome with fear? Who want to want to hear what you're saying, But it's like, Oh, Chris, I'm feeling too much fear to do anything. How tired are you of being afraid? How fed up are you with not being happy? How fatigued are you with having to live your life based on some shit that other people have told you? I mean, Fear. Fear is not fear. Fear is what you've said it is. It's just a feeling. Everything is a feeling. Life is a feeling. All we're doing here day in day out is feeling but we attach our mind to our physicality and we go inside and we start labelling what we're feeling. So we give it positive connotations, Negative connotations, And then we let the connotation drag us around by the fucking nose. No, I don't, I'm not afraid of anything. I just feel things. Some things make me feel like there's electricity running through my entire chest and face and my whole body starts to amp up. And sometimes the electricity dies down a lot. And I start to feel it in different parts of my body. But all it is is life. If you're afraid of feeling, You're afraid of life. If you're afraid of life, You're going to die pretty quickly. You're not giving yourself what you need. You see, When you feel you're actually in connection. I'm just moving back in. It's like the sun's gone down where you are. Is there any more light here? Shit. It's okay. I think we're good to wrap up in a second. I appreciate this conversation a lot. I feel clear from speaking with you. Is there anything coming up that you want people to know about? Any workshops? Any ways people can experience your work? I don't know. Okay. I don't know where I'm going to be or what I'm going to be doing. But everything is usually put on my website or on Facebook. Okay. Yes. So no, I don't know. I have no attachments in terms of I don't know what's coming up. Gotcha. So check out masculineintimate. Com if you want to see what might be coming up. Cool. Awesome. Well, I appreciate your time, Crystal. This has been awesome. Thank you so much. You're very welcome. I really enjoyed it. All right. Take care. Thank you for the opportunity. Yeah, My pleasure. Thanks for listening. Don't forget to subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher. If you want to be a part of the virtual audience for future episodes, Make sure to follow me at crowdcast. Io slash Rwanda. See you next time.
