And you were asking me about phoniness on the journey and about how do you know that you're really on the journey rather than just doing an ego approximation of the journey,
Right?
That's really what you've been asking me.
Yes.
Okay,
Now this is the major problem for any spiritual seeker.
It is exactly that.
And in fact the spiritual ego,
As soon as we say we're spiritual,
We often,
Or we're on the spiritual journey,
We're often putting ourselves,
Subtly maybe,
But we're putting ourselves above and separate from everybody else.
We're going like,
I'm better because I'm waking up,
Right?
Now it is the ego that is doing that.
And as you go on the journey,
You find out,
You get the results of what you're doing.
Life will always give you feedback,
Okay?
Always gives you the results of your endeavor.
So any situation we're walking into will be reflecting our inner state.
So if you walk into,
Supposing you get a job and everybody is awful to each other at this job and you feel like you're the only good person,
You're in this situation because your soul is wanting you to see what your own ego does to you.
Okay?
And so most of the time we spend our lives blaming others instead of taking responsibility for whatever is happening to us.
Not taking responsibility in,
Oh it's all on my shoulders,
But taking responsibility as like we're a divine being and we're here to wake up and the universe will be communicating to us in everything that happens.
It will be reflecting our inner state back to us in the hopes that we move into more truth.
So we could have a job in a hostile environment,
Make a shift inside ourselves and all of a sudden our environment starts becoming sweeter.
In fact,
People were particularly hostile to us,
We thought they were,
But actually they've got good hearts.
But we might not see that until we surrender more to our truth and then we see it.
So it takes a lifetime,
The journey.
And the more years that you spend on the journey,
The more nighttime dreams you've had,
The more thoughts about God you've had,
The more progress you make.
It's just kind of a slow gradual process.
And you'll notice that when you're in truth,
When you're aligned with your soul,
You will feel really good.
Your body will feel light,
Your thoughts will be light,
You'll feel happy,
It will be easy to be kind to others.
And when you're off,
It will be the opposite.
Your body will feel heavy,
Thick,
You won't like your thoughts,
It will be negative and you'll find it harder to be good to other people.
So what we do then is we just pray,
Pray really hard with all your heart for help to understand what the lesson is,
To receive the guidance that you need to get,
To even make the shifts inside your body that you need to make.
Because when we're dropping our ego,
It is a physical process as well.
So we might get aches and pains with it.
But when we move into truth,
We'll just feel like a spring day,
Even if it's like a cloudy winter day.
So that's our data.
So then we go along and we'll lose that,
We'll go out of alignment,
We'll then just correct,
Just turn back to God.
It's a very mechanical process.
It's into the light,
Into the darkness.
Work really hard to get back into the light.
The pendulum of life goes to joy and sorrow.
So when you're in sorrow,
The point of it is to make us so uncomfortable that we start working really hard to get back into joy.
And working really hard means praying and giving it over.
Yeah.
Okay.
So yeah,
Sometimes,
Then I do it and I pray and this awkward state,
It's still there.
And sometimes I lose my trust that it's,
You know,
Oh,
It's fake anyway.
Oh,
It is.
You know,
This fake feeling comes back.
Like that God isn't really there.
Yes.
That yeah.
Okay.
When I deep in this,
You know,
When I don't see the dark outside,
When I don't see the dark outside,
When I don't get the dark outside.
When you don't get results on your timetable.
Yes.
Exactly.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I know.
Well,
I know.
Well,
Yeah.
But it's,
You know,
It doesn't happen on our timetable.
That's why I think humility is important,
Right?
It does not.
It's like,
Think of pregnancy.
It doesn't happen on our timetable.
It's like,
You know,
Around the eighth month,
We just get so sick of it.
It's like,
When is this going to be over?
Right?
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah.
But,
You know,
I mean,
At this point,
I'm kind of like,
How could we not think God exists?
Like,
Yeah,
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like,
Yeah.
I mean,
Yeah.
How could we possibly think that there's this kind of life here?
And that there isn't a higher organization or order?
But what I'd say to you is,
Okay,
Just go forward with,
You know,
Okay,
God doesn't exist and just go forward with that and see what happens.
See if that brings you happiness.
See if that brings you clarity.
See if that makes you,
You know,
Feel that you're really helping your honor.
Not at all.
It's just this feeling when it's really dark inside.
Well,
Sweetie pie,
The darker the dark,
The brighter the light that's coming,
You know.
Like,
It's not to be fixed.
It's like that.
Okay.
Yeah.
You get taken in a way.
As the journey progresses,
You get taken to darker and darker spots.
And then the gift of the light comes and it's increasingly miraculous.
So I think you just need to be braver,
Sweetie.
All right.
Yeah.
Be braver.
Be,
You know.
And understand it doesn't have to happen on your timetable.
Why should it?
Because it's your ego's timetable.
Right.
Okay.
Okay.
Bless to your hearts.
Thank you.
That was the highlight there.
