Love Your Bumbling Humanity

Today's Satsang is about coming home to our humanity and our hearts. We are truly entitled to be a bumbling human being, a work in progress. That’s part of evolution; it is how we live our truth!

Truth is God and is always intrinsically gentle. It only makes us miserable when we run from it. Fear dissolves when we finally face it. When we live in truth, we relax because we are not running from or fighting anything.

Sometimes, our truth may not align with who we wish to be. It doesn’t fit into the perfect world we imagine for ourselves. But our idea of a perfect world is askew. It is just coming from ego.

We are perfect within ourselves. We are all divine Beings. We have just taken on a very human cloak so we could learn. When we see the truth...that everything is the Creator...then we experience ongoing bliss even as we live our very human lives.

It's a ride.

Transcript

I've been having a lot of breakthroughs.

I just kind of wanted to mention that.

Since we last spoke,

Prema Sudha,

I had been just really trying to slow myself down,

Go inward,

And take every moment as like a choice point moving forward.

A choice point where one,

I could choose a more compassionate way,

Or the other I could choose like a more self-serving way.

And I've been feeling a lot like more grounded too.

So the more grounded I am,

The more easier like the messages can come through.

Like as far as like which next steps to just take,

But I'm just focusing on like one step at a time if that makes any sense.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And it's weird because I was feeling really good,

Calm,

Relaxed all morning.

And then right before the call,

I felt this feeling in my gut,

This anxiety.

And I started getting kind of sweaty,

Like my hands get sweaty.

So that's like telling me that I need to be grounding myself even more,

Like especially before.

Stop,

Stop,

Stop.

Okay.

Veronica,

Sweetie,

You're making a little bit of a rookie mistake in the,

But it's not only rookies make it.

And there's a little bit of a hardness with your speaking.

It's great what you're saying,

But there's a hardness to it,

A force quality,

Which tells me that it's not coming from real truth.

You're coming in with like trying to do it,

Trying to do it right.

A little bit,

A little bit.

It's just a little bit of contamination.

Now there is a lot.

We have to be really,

Really humble on the journey because there is huge amounts to understand.

And Westerners,

You know,

We haven't been taught humility and we haven't been taught to stay in our hearts.

So,

You know,

We're a little bit like disadvantaged children a little bit,

You know?

So I don't want anybody to feel bad personally,

Because we're all like this.

So Veronica,

The clench in your tummy is just some fear coming up to be cleared during the satsang.

It's nothing for you to fix or do anything about.

It's just for you to be with it and notice.

I feel like when you were a little kid at school,

You tried really hard,

Like grade one.

It's so sweet.

It's the same thing.

Thanks for calling me out because I need that.

I think that's why I had to just like blurt it all out there.

This is what we're like.

How could you know?

I mean,

This is the role of the teacher to see the deeper.

It's not even a mistake.

It's not a mistake.

Every time I would go get a hug from mama,

I would get like a correction and realignment in getting a hug.

So this is sort of an attempt to offer you the same sort of thing through energy and words.

There's nothing wrong,

You guys.

This is,

You know,

This is what the journey's like.

Okay,

Good.

Now,

Because you guys also were in a patriarchy,

So women have this major thing around being in their true energy that it's not allowed.

It takes a while.

The premasut is just really in it,

In her true energy at this point,

But it took a long time.

So what's the clench doing,

Veronica?

What's going on your tummy now?

The clench is gone.

Good.

How do you feel?

I feel slower.

And I feel less burdened in the front.

Good.

The wall I was hitting has gone.

It's like,

I felt like I had to peek through this wall.

And break,

Like,

I don't know.

But yeah,

I just feel a lot emptier,

Which is great.

You guys,

Going through walls,

You know,

I would,

You know,

Was very focused on moving forward.

And,

And sometimes if,

If I got stuck,

I would be in my body,

Feeling as thick as a wall,

My movements would be,

I'd be unfluid,

Like they'd be jerky,

And I'd be clumsy.

And I would feel heavy.

And then I just keep the prayers,

Keep sending love to myself.

And then all that would dissipate.

And I'd feel lighter and everything would go better.

You see,

Just observe yourself through these things.

Don't try to fix them so much.

It's the trying to fix makes us jump over these stakes.

Like,

You know,

So,

How do I put it?

It was Primasuta's willingness to just be a wall sometimes.

I would,

I wouldn't make it wrong.

I would just feel thick and heavy and clumsy.

And nothing I was doing was working out.

But I just be with it.

And I keep focused on embodying the divinity.

And it would dissolve and I would feel lighter.

And my life would go better.

This is what I'm wanting you guys to just flow along with what is more.

Yeah,

Veronica,

I'll tell you,

It is going to be a tremendous relief for you as you learn this.

As you realize that you have total permission to just be in whatever state you're in.

It's you know,

As long as you have the intent to Yeah,

You guys,

Please come home to your hearts.

Come home to yourselves.

This is where we get manipulated by we can get manipulated by advertising and politics.

If we don't value ourselves and our states we just then buy things to make us feel better or we agree you know,

We could lose our freedoms we'd agree to it.

Right.

Right.

Okay,

Good.

You look like an empress now to me.

This is good.

Yeah,

Yay.

Yeah,

This is yay.

Yeah,

It's this is good.

It's so great.

Thank you.

You're welcome,

Sweetie.

Thank you for being willing.

It's this is,

You know,

This is it's so funny.

It's like trying to give people a gift,

Right?

And I'm just hoping they'll be willing to receive it.

Yeah.

And that you you can be yourself.

This is the revolutionary character of this rating.

Yeah.

It's very good.

Yeah,

Please.

Please just be with your states.

Yeah,

Please.

We've all been taught to be uncomfortable with ourselves.

Yeah,

It's like God being taught to be uncomfortable with God.

Yeah.

Hi,

Pramasutra,

Saskia here.

Can I ask something?

Yeah,

Please.

Yes.

We had a little family drama yesterday on Valentine's Day with Emily,

Tristan,

Tristan is our son,

His girlfriend flying,

Girlfriend flying to Montreal for the first time and visit him.

And at the flight was supposed to be a 10.

And at 930,

We get a call.

And she's on in tears.

And Tristan is all upset.

And they wouldn't let her on the flight because all her IDs expired two weeks ago.

All her whatever IDs and she didn't notice so she couldn't fly.

And I was really upset about that because I thought,

Oh,

They don't deserve that.

They feel like they don't deserve it.

And it's my fault.

And then I just realized this isn't getting anywhere.

So I tried to pull out.

And my arm and my shoulder right got all numb when I was sitting trying to pray.

And all of a sudden I realized it has nothing to do with them.

I had really problems embracing my own my own male.

It was about me and not them.

And then they solved it.

They really they were good.

They said it is what it is and they rebook and everything.

And then I was sitting there and asking for help.

And I didn't know I got like an opening.

It was like a wand was putting I'm not sure I was between my heart and my solar plexus.

And it really opened and it feels like the colors are free.

I've seen these colors all my life and they turn into feelings.

And ever since I have this cold,

And you know,

I cry out of nowhere and I laugh and it's like a whirlwind and it's I sit in there.

It feels deep and I have the house full of people my table full of people this weekend.

But it's okay.

It's just a bit intense.

Yeah,

Sounds like it.

And it's funny tonight I woke up and I had that deep feeling again.

And I thought about someone I thought came up to talk about it.

And the voice said,

Don't talk about it.

Don't talk about it.

And I understood this is my ego telling me not to talk about it.

I mean,

I hope that's that's what I I hope it's right.

That's what I understood.

And I just listen to it and try to Yeah,

I don't know.

I just try and roll with it.

I'm a little just a little bit confused.

So Emily and Tristan,

Like her idea was old,

And you,

You got very involved in it.

Like you seem very uncomfortable with yourself,

Saskia,

Even just as you're talking.

Yeah,

I feel that.

Right.

So just just relax,

Sweet one.

You haven't done anything wrong,

You know.

So and then you,

You just you decide to pull out a bit from the situation.

And then you noticed your which shoulder?

Right,

My right shoulder and arm that on them.

Were all numb.

And then and then what did you do?

And then it struck it was I don't know,

It struck me that it's somehow,

You know,

It's my own male,

My own life.

I,

I always thought it's the others.

I always thought it's my mother,

Not liking man and whatnot.

But I found this in myself.

I found that I have trouble embracing my own male energy.

So that's what you got from that.

So it was sort of like you how did you get that you have trouble embracing your male energy from that situation?

Thoughts came up about what I think is male.

You know,

For example,

I work in a clinic,

I don't have enough business,

Enough clients,

Things like that,

Where I always thought.

But how does this relate to Emily,

And the?

I felt like Tristan feels he doesn't deserve this,

That she comes because of me,

Not loving him enough.

I have that thing.

I always feel guilty.

I always feel responsible for,

For these things,

Until I watch it and step back.

It's my default kind of models.

Models.

Right.

Okay.

Okay,

Good.

Okay,

Good.

That is the that is the thing we need to talk about.

You felt it was your fault.

You thought it was your fault that Ellie didn't check her ID and could do you do you know how off the wall that is?

No,

I know,

But I'm guilty by default.

You know,

It's okay,

Sweetie.

It's okay.

Let's,

Let's,

Let's sit.

I almost feel like I'm cauterizing like a growth,

You know,

On on you like I've got a cauterizing.

Yeah.

It's like,

Do you see?

Can you see?

And I mean this with great gentleness,

Like,

Because it's,

It's just so sweet of you.

Do you see how,

How big the eye is that you would think that?

You know,

It's your fault.

I know.

Do you see?

No,

It's like what?

It's okay,

Sweetie.

Just be here.

Just be here.

Just keep breathing.

Listen,

I have heard far more off the wall things.

Right?

It is so hard for you to accept yourself.

That's what I'm getting right now.

It's almost like you remember when I'm always saying there's no firing squad.

It's almost like you're just expecting to be hold in front of the firing squad for,

For this,

For whatever,

For big Saskia.

Oh,

Really,

Saskia?

That's it?

Yeah,

Really?

Okay.

Right.

So,

Okay,

Good.

So calm down.

So when we're scared,

Our minds start running with theories about ourselves.

Okay.

So,

Okay.

So,

I mean,

What I would do with this is I think the numbing,

I mean,

I think you're kind of half right in a way like the numbing is you're,

You're seeing how numb your masculine is,

Like in the sense of how numbed out you've been to it,

To its help.

Right?

You see,

Saskia,

The problem you have is not like whether you like the masculine or not,

It's that you don't like Saskia much.

Okay?

I want you to work with that.

I don't want you to think about how you feel about the masculine.

Do you know what I mean?

It's not going to help.

You'll forgive the masculine as you forgive yourself,

As you allow yourself to be Saskia more.

And your inner masculine is going to come in and help you do that.

Okay,

So the numbing that you felt is part of this inner masculine waking up to be able to help you more,

To keep you more objective,

To keep you steadier,

To make you more,

You know,

Give you a little bit of distance to your emotions.

That's what you see in Prima Suda.

My masculine is really developed.

Right?

Sweetie Pie,

Do you know how uncomfortable with yourself you look?

I can imagine.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's like Sweetie Pie.

It's like,

What feels nice?

When you say that,

My male or masculine,

What it comes in to help me,

That feels nice.

That's a nice feeling for me.

Yeah.

You need it.

Yeah.

I know.

I also have a cold.

That's why I look probably more uncomfortable too.

No,

I don't think it has much to do with the cold.

I mean,

I think it's,

Yeah,

This is good.

You're coming back to yourself.

Good.

Coming back to yourself.

Okay.

Okay,

Good.

Okay,

Good.

This is what Sask is struggling with is exactly where I lost my sense of humor for 10 years,

Because I got so theoretical about things.

Just like what you were saying about masculine,

Off you go.

And the female,

We can go off like that.

And we build these towers of thought.

Yeah.

I know.

It's okay.

This is what we're like.

It's okay.

Yeah.

Yeah,

It's okay.

That's it.

You know,

Mother and Father God are madly in love with each other.

The feminine and the masculine love each other.

The more you love and honor yourself,

The more you will love and honor and forgive the opposite sex.

That's it.

Yeah.

You know,

With Emily,

It'll be Emily's masculine that she,

You know,

Like her.

It's a lack of masculine that she didn't notice her ID in a way,

You know,

Like,

And it's all good.

This is,

You know,

It's an ongoing,

You know,

The men always have to bring in their feminine,

We women have to bring in our masculine.

Yeah.

You're just not responsible.

You know,

You're only responsible.

Like,

For yourself,

You know,

Like I'm hoping Saskia,

That you develop the ability to be able to witness your thoughts when they get so kind of extreme,

And so that you at least know that you're in the pot,

Like it's not accurate.

You know that you go,

Okay,

I know I'm in my stuff,

It seems accurate,

But I know I'm off the wall.

But you're not very off the wall,

Sweetie,

You're getting all tense again.

You know,

I'm just,

You know,

I'm just so blunt,

Like everything,

Everything,

You know,

Ego sound off the wall to me now.

I don't mean it like you're more off the wall than anybody else.

Yeah.

You know,

Saskia,

I think you should pray for truth.

Start praying to really love truth.

Okay,

Because it's like,

You're scared to death of truth,

Sweetie.

Really,

I can feel it.

You're scared of truth.

And it's,

It's going to be the making of you.

Remember,

I was talking about my mom.

She was a strong woman.

She was so scared.

Yes.

You don't have to be scared.

Yeah,

You don't have to be so scared,

You know,

Of truth.

Truth is a balm for the soul.

I want to ask you,

Why are you so scared of truth?

Just say,

Just say what comes up to mind.

This is really weird,

But it I don't understand truth.

It's like you're speaking a word in a language,

You're speaking a Chinese word,

And you're telling me to do that,

You know,

Which is a bit embarrassing,

But that's how I feel about truth.

Well,

That tells you a lot,

Sweetie,

That you feel that way about it.

Yeah,

Right.

Because this training is movement into truth.

You know,

Yeah.

I think you're going to have to ask,

You know,

Ask the creator,

Ask Amo to let you know why you're so scared of it.

Because there's something that,

That,

You know,

We keep banging into.

Yeah,

You know that,

Right?

We keep banging into it.

You keep banging into it,

Really.

You know,

It'll be some memory or something.

It'll be something.

It'll be like a memory of a past life or something.

But sweetie pie,

Put your will into this.

Like,

Like,

I can,

I can feel part of you doesn't want to do that.

I mean,

Part of you just wants to be a work in progress for the rest of your life in a way.

Oh,

God,

No.

Yeah.

You know,

It doesn't have to be a heavy thing to want to come into truth.

It's just kind of like seeing the writing of the wall.

It's like,

Hey,

I had enough years like this,

You know,

And everybody's getting restless,

By the way.

It's interesting.

People are moving around.

It's like,

Yeah,

True.

Oh,

Scary,

But truth is just a joy.

It's God.

It's unconditional love.

We've got this kind of Old Testament thing about truth,

But it's like punishing and it's not.

It's the opposite.

It's such a relief.

You know,

Truth is when you,

You live in truth,

When you feel you can come,

You can live from the heart.

That you can just be yourself and go forward from the heart.

Just get curious about what you're so scared of,

Sweet one.

I keep getting that picture of that woman,

You know,

That woman that has been tortured and is now supposed to be killed in Palestine.

And I keep thinking,

I mean,

She walked forward and she did it from the heart.

And look what happened to her.

And look what happened to Premasudha.

Right?

Like,

This is where I feel like you're missing the obvious.

Here's Premasudha.

You come to a teacher who is patently thriving,

Sharing this wisdom,

Which is moving into truth.

And you're doing this dance of death over and over and over.

Do you see this?

Do you see what I'm saying?

Yes,

I do.

And I really want to stop that.

I really do.

I think it's like you're like a little kid who's hooked on rerunning a very scary story.

And for some reason,

You think it's safer to run this very scary story over and over,

Even though it's totally imprisoning you.

Sometimes people don't want to shift.

I've learned this.

I've learned this.

Sometimes they don't.

And if you don't,

Just get comfortable with it.

Just get comfortable.

Yeah,

I don't want to grow.

Really,

You get comfortable with it.

You go,

Okay,

I don't want to grow.

I mean,

That's the truth of it.

And just be with the truth of it.

You guys,

This is exactly what I was saying to Veronica.

It's just you be with it.

You feel it,

How much you don't want to grow.

And you just are with it.

And you pray about it,

But you don't try to fix it.

Or try to deny it or pretend that it's,

You know,

That you see what I mean?

It's like,

Admit these things,

Then they can transform.

Yeah.

It's like,

Just be with it.

And then if you're with it,

You know,

You'd be with it,

You think about it,

And you go,

Yeah,

I really don't want to transform.

And then the insanity of this will dawn on you.

You know,

You'll just go with it.

Oh,

It's all right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And just let yourself be.

Right.

It's like,

You're not evil.

It's all right.

You can just be scared to want to move moving it through.

Well,

But get curious about what it is.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay,

Good.

And you and you'll be informed.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Which is just comes from having been me having to admit my own resistance,

You know,

This is what we're like.

But I,

I do want to talk about there was one very beautiful woman.

And she was having a really hard time.

And she was struggling with her ex,

And she was sick.

And she was feeling very mad at herself for having married this man.

And I said,

You know,

Don't give yourself a hard time.

Don't do this.

It's terrible.

Don't do this.

Don't stay in that state.

Like,

You know,

You might notice that you're mad at yourself for marrying somebody,

But don't sit there for any length of time.

And,

And then I said,

You know,

Just have compassion for yourself for being born into a family where you,

You weren't valued enough,

You know,

And have compassion for all the past lives that brought you here.

You know,

And then,

Yes,

We,

You know,

We were talking like that.

And then there was something that I can't remember what it was,

But there was something that magic and with the computer,

I can't remember what was the thing,

But the computer did one of those miracle things.

And,

And then,

You know,

A little bit,

And she remembered a past life where she was being strangled by somebody who was demanding that she acquiesce to his will.

And she did.

And she realized that she hadn't been breathing deeply ever since this.

So when she remembered this,

She started breathing more deeply.

Okay,

Now,

Sweetie pie,

I know you.

So I know that what you'll do is then you'll try to remember some past life thing,

And you'll make it a task.

And you'll,

You'll keep it in mind.

And you'll be hard on yourself.

And you'll try to do it.

And I don't want that.

In fact,

I will,

Saskia,

At this point,

I will start getting,

I'm going to start getting hard with you.

If you keep doing this.

Okay,

You're going to get a hard part of premisuda.

Because it's time for a shift.

And this,

You know,

Just what I'm saying,

I really hope you don't do that with this story that I'm telling you about this person,

That you make it into a task and give yourself a failing mark.

Anyway,

This woman,

Everything is brighter for her.

She feels more at home in herself and her life.

That's it,

You guys,

It's just kind of bumbling moment by moment.

And she used this input well,

Because this is part of the key of what I want to say.

She was feeling I was trying to promote more,

You know,

Being,

You know,

We'll just sort of progress on the spiritual journey.

And she was kind of resisting it,

It turned out that she felt that that she was going to have to sort of lie in bed,

And get down to the reasons why she was mad at herself and do that work.

And then I'm like,

And he said,

I want to go shopping and I want to go explore a different city.

And I'm like,

Do that.

Don't stay in bed and try to fix yourself.

Don't do that.

If you feel like shopping shop,

But just know that your,

You know,

Your journey,

This is what you're working with,

Just keep it lightly in mind.

You,

You,

You can do stuff,

It's distracting,

That would be considered distracting.

But if you're doing it,

You know,

It's like,

Accept your humanity,

I was pleased,

It was sort of like,

Accept our humanity,

That if we,

If we need a day out shopping,

We can do that without feeling like sinners.

And it would be better than,

I mean,

The worst thing she could have done would be to stay in bed and focus on why she had this anger.

It's like,

You guys,

If you if you really want to grow,

This information will bubble up from your hearts.

And you will just be shown,

Just like this past life memory came up for her.

Just bubbled up.

It's an organic process,

You guys.

You know,

Sometimes I think that it helped me to grow up with this,

Like a little like a little bit,

I was a little bit entitled.

The good thing,

I mean,

It was terrible.

In a way,

It caused me so much trouble,

In a way.

But the good thing about it was that I kind of felt entitled to be a human being.

I did,

I felt entitled to be a bumbling human being.

And I would like you guys to feel entitled to be a bumbling human being who's,

You know,

Open to growth,

But that you're that you're okay.

You know,

That sort of like secretly,

You're the lord and lady of the manor.

You've got no apologies to make for any to anybody.

You're secretly the king and queen.

You've got no apologies to make to anybody.

And then just be yourselves.

Do you understand?

And then do the journey from that.

Yeah.

Please.

Yeah.

You know,

Saskia,

You're gonna have to surrender because you could go round and round in this till the cows come home.

You know?

You see,

You're not doing anything bad.

I'm responding to,

Like,

You're so uncomfortable with yourself.

But when I look at you with this discomfiture of yourself,

It's like,

I can't see the part of you that wants fulfillment.

I can't see the part of you that is willing to grow through this.

I'm just seeing the person who's just expecting to be put in front of the firing squad for daring to be Saskia.

And you see,

You could create a situation where I am tough with you.

And I will do that if I feel that your soul really wants you to grow and you're not following it.

I will get edgy with you.

And I'm already a little.

Because I actually feel that you could step out of this anytime you really wanted to.

It's like actually an elaborate game,

Actually.

And that could be true of anybody that's here,

Too,

Sweetie.

Okay.

Yeah,

Okay.

It's,

It's just kind of like,

What's going to actually make you go,

Okay,

I really can't stand keeping going this way.

There has to be a change.

I'm laying down the gun,

But universe,

There has to be a change.

It's like,

When you do that,

There will be a change.

I've,

I've pushed three people away from the satsangs,

Because they all need to make a real inner decision to evolve.

I mean,

That's what this training is.

And I can feel it when,

You know,

The person needs to make that shift.

I can feel when they really need this extra help from me.

But then I can also feel when the person actually has to step forward.

And sometimes people don't want to do it.

And it's okay.

It's okay.

But I will push them out of satsang to just be with themselves and think about,

You know,

What they really want.

And it's not punishment.

It's actually very loving.

Because it,

It's the thing that's most likely to wake them up.

Yeah.

Right.

They have a real existential decision about whether they really want to step forward this way,

Or not.

Because I know,

I know,

It's like,

I've had a lot of experience.

So I know that people can just circle,

Go around in circles for years and years and years.

And I no longer,

I no longer give that energy.

I say to people,

Okay,

If I,

If I get this signal,

I say to people,

Okay,

Step back from the satsang for a bit.

So you can just feel into what you need.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's,

You know,

Basically,

You guys,

What it's being abandoned is actually often the best thing that ever happened to us.

Because then we get mobilized.

Truly,

Then we go,

Okay,

I'm gonna have to save myself.

Nobody can do it for me.

This is where I say,

You know,

In the Hawaiians,

The ancient Hawaiians,

They,

You know,

Abraham was dumped two miles out,

The shark infested waters.

And if,

If a student let fear,

Overtake them,

They got eaten.

And,

You know,

Life is like that.

It's like life has got like a hard edge.

It's like you either do it or you don't.

And I think sometimes in our therapies,

We,

We lose track of any of that.

Yeah.

And,

You know,

When we're thrown in a,

In a really difficult situation,

It will activate our will,

Like nothing else.

Yeah.

It's all good.

You know,

Saskia,

I'm not really worried about you because you had the dream about the lions.

Truly,

I mean,

I think both you and Michael are going to make the shift.

So don't worry about it.

So good.

I can feel the energy going up the wrong,

Not the,

I can feel your energy not getting to the very core of me.

I can feel that.

Good.

Good.

Okay.

That's truth.

This is what you're so scared of.

Oh,

It's fantastic.

Yeah,

It's there.

It's nothing to be fixed.

You just acknowledge it.

That's it.

And then,

And you see,

This is the territory.

Oh,

This is what I'm doing.

Oh,

Okay,

Universe,

Help me.

I mean,

Just a very light universe.

Help me open to let Premasuddha's energy get through to me.

But it isn't even Premasuddha's energy.

It's your soul energy,

Sweetie.

This is what you're doing to your own soul energy.

This is great.

See?

See,

It was just the threat of being excommunicated that did it.

I'm teasing you.

I'm teasing you.

It's okay.

I think I'm also such a drama queen.

I just have to see that too.

Yeah.

Well,

Yeah.

And you just,

You know,

As your meal comes in,

That will dissipate.

You won't do that as your meal comes in.

Yeah.

Yeah,

That's good.

Good work,

Sweetie.

Happy,

Happy.

Really?

This is what's so great about it.

It's like we just bumble into it.

All you have to do is have a sincere heart.

It's a great breakthrough.

Yeah.

Jenna,

Do you want to talk about what you,

Your experience a little bit?

Or I can talk about it,

But.

.

.

I'd like to.

Thank you for asking.

Okay,

Go.

So I want to share a story that happened this week.

I had a really beautiful week.

I'm a high school teacher,

And I sat down with one of my high school students.

She had an experience last weekend where she met someone,

And it was this whirlwind romance.

She was sharing this story with me,

And it put such a smile on my face.

And I felt a lot of emotion bubbling up as she was talking.

And she said to me,

She said,

You know what,

Ms.

Schur,

You know how when you think something's not possible for you,

And then it happens?

And I immediately was like,

Yeah,

Baby,

I know exactly that feeling.

And it felt to me,

There was a lot that was coming up as she was talking.

I see a lot of myself in her.

And what I felt in that story,

And it tied into a lot of other things that happened this week,

Like readings and this message that I felt like was coming through from Alma that was telling me that the box that I have had for love in my life is too small.

And as this satsang has been going,

An image popped up into my mind of in grade school,

How we would make these boxes for Valentine's Day,

Right,

To receive like the little receptacles,

Right,

To receive our valentines from our friends.

And,

And I was thinking about this box and why it feels difficult to give it over.

And something that came up last night,

Is that I feel I mean,

I'm I like paper mache this box,

Like I've been working on it my whole life,

Like I put the lace on it.

And so I am giving a lot of compassion to myself on.

Yeah,

On just recognizing it,

Seeing the box for what it is,

Giving my little kid self a lot of love,

And saying,

You know what,

It's a beautiful box.

And you've done a really great job.

And it's time to expand,

Right?

It's time to let it Yeah,

It's time to give it to Amma and to allow and to be the love,

Right?

To be it.

Right.

That's it,

We have to come out of the box and just be,

Be.

Yeah.

And how did it feel doing your music this week with this breakthrough?

Yeah,

It's felt like a lot of things.

I mean,

It's,

It's felt you were speaking of,

You know,

When we bring in our soul energy,

That there's this big not allowed,

And that has come up.

But then on the other side of that,

It has felt just beautiful,

Just this flow of love that I didn't sort of tie it back to that story.

Like I didn't know that that was possible to feel that much inflow and to feel that much love and that connected to the present moment and connected to the making of music and the the transference of love.

And I've had this sensation in my body.

And I can feel it right now to where I wrote a poem last night that said that I feel I feel the space in my cells more than the matter.

And it feels like,

Like I can body physically having to make room,

Right?

I feel myself expanding.

And yeah,

That that does happen your body feels expand,

It starts energetically expands to make room for this love.

And the thing about Jenna that I very admire,

She's been very honest about her resistance,

Both about how captivated she was by this work,

But also by her resistance.

And she just kept going.

And the resistance got really intense.

And she went through this period where she was feeling that she was losing the love of,

Of the music,

Everything was turning to ashes.

She wasn't enjoying it at all.

And she just kept going.

And then there was this breakthrough.

And this is what I want to say to you guys,

You just are with your states,

You are in a journey that is beyond your ego that is being orchestrated by your soul,

You are not in control of it.

And the best thing you can do is to just walk through it,

Embrace your states,

And keep heading in the right direction with all your heart.

And Jenna's has been doing this with all her heart.

And that's why there's this rich outcome.

A very rich outcome.

Yeah.

And,

You know,

The tough stuff will come again,

Over and over,

It comes again,

You just keep walking it,

You just keep.

It's like,

I call it being honorable.

You know?

Yeah,

It's being honorable,

Being sincere on the journey and walking it in an honorable way.

No matter what,

What you face.

Yeah,

So I want to talk about this.

This was where I realized that the way this one was walking a journey was different than the way others were,

Even though they were saying the same words.

Okay,

So this is where I got together with a group of devotees,

And we were speaking.

And there was this moment of absolute peace,

And it was God.

And it was just ignored by the devotees.

As if nothing special happened,

It was just ignored.

And it's like,

Oh.

And at the time,

I was almost too scared and too shocked to say,

You guys,

This is exactly what I'm talking about.

This peace,

It's God.

This is how mixed up it can all be.

And sometimes the people who talk the most,

You know?

So this deep being honorable,

Being true to your words,

Being true to where you want to go,

Being willing to walk your talk,

Even if it's uncomfortable,

It's really,

Really important.

Otherwise,

You know,

On your deathbed,

It's like you look back and you've just gone round in circles.

All of you are incredibly valuable.

All of you help the satsang with your energy.

There's no criticism of anybody.

I'm just,

You know,

I'm just turning into one of those old women who like,

Just tells it like it is,

You know?

And just,

You know,

Just get blunter and blunter,

Like,

Less and less polite,

You know?

But more and more loving,

Actually,

Because this is what love is,

You guys.

Truth is God.

And truth,

You know,

When you face it and embrace it,

It's always gentle.

It's just when we run from it,

That it seems harsh.

You know,

That truth will set you free,

But first it will make you miserable.

Well,

The reason it will make you miserable is because you've been running from it.

But once you get,

Like,

Turn and face it,

It's like,

It's kind of a big relief,

You know?

The cells of your body relax.

Jenna,

Was there anything else you need to add to any of that?

The only thing else that came up is just that story that you used to tell about the horses.

And in Arabic culture,

How they place value on horses,

That when they would,

I think you said three days,

Right?

The horse would go for three days without food,

And they'd bring him into the space that goes to the owner first is considered more valuable than the horse that goes to the food.

And that's something that's been coming up.

And I love that story.

It comes up a lot through this journey.

And that was what I felt this week is that my concept of nourishment is just so small in comparison with the nourishment of my soul,

And to just keep allowing the data to come up.

And yeah,

Hold on to that,

Cleave to that.

Cleave to that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh,

Sweetie,

I'm with you on that.

That story of the horse,

It really touches me.

And this is what I'm talking about the being honorable.

It's like,

Yeah,

That deep,

Letting yourself love deeply like the horse,

The horse,

Any animal that lets themselves love deeply that anyone loving deeply is just so precious.

We all see it,

Even if we're running from it.

We all,

You know,

You know,

With the,

I read a LinkedIn.

No,

I read a comment that was on YouTube.

And it was so deep that I,

I,

I just moved on.

I was so deep.

And then I realized,

Oh,

This is,

This is what happens to people with,

With premises,

LinkedIn things,

They read it,

And it goes,

It's so deep,

And they just keep scrolling.

But they all register it.

We all register it.

Yeah,

It's never wasted.

Oh,

It's great,

You guys.

Yeah,

I love that story to that.

Yeah.

You guys is so sweet.

Your faces all look so soft.

Yeah.

And Yeah.

Yeah.

And it's if you've all been fed deeply.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well,

I feel to close unless somebody's got a comment.

This has just been very,

Very precious.

But if somebody has a question or comment,

Please go ahead.

But otherwise,

It just feels just a wonderful meeting of hearts and minds and very,

Very precious.

And may all of you feel the grace.

You know,

The grace belongs to you.

It's your soul's love for you guys.

It's such a joke.

It's a joke.

I talk about grace.

I talk about grace.

It's,

It's your soul's love for you,

That you're not receiving.

And as soon as you receive it,

You go,

Oh,

The grace,

But it's always there for you.

It's,

It's,

It's,

It's invisible for you.

It's,

It can move mountains for you.

Yeah.

And Saskia's great gift to the satsang was not only,

You know,

Just being her sweet self,

But feeling in her body where that wall between her own soul,

But also love coming through Pramasutra and just feeling that wall.

And when we go through the walls,

You may feel thick.

When you go through it,

Saskia,

You may feel thick and nothing makes sense.

Everything can feel meaningless.

Just keep walking,

Keep the prayers going,

Keep your mind up and you will make a shift and life will be lighter.

And you'll see the colors.

And you know,

This is what Pramasutras walked through like 5 million times.

You know,

That's why I could say to you,

Hey,

You know,

The promise really is true.

This is a love based universe.

You are greatly loved and you can allow the walls to melt.

Yeah.

Blessings.

Thank you guys.

Thank you for coming.

Look forward.

It's so adorable.

It's so adorable.

I look forward to seeing you tomorrow.

Bye.

Bye.