Awareness Satsang: We Have To "Take" Our Freedom.

Often students come to Premasudha wanting her to give them their freedom. The teacher can give pointers and encouragement, yet the student has to learn to travel their own unique path.

Premasudha shares infinitely deep wisdom arising from 40 years of a very human journey where she learned to weave the Divine into her life - thread, by golden thread. Sometimes there are hard times and sometimes easier times yet remember that it is all Love! Love to heal you. Love to wake you up. Love to Support and Free Up Your True Nature. You are pure Love!

Listen and rejoice in the energy that Premasudha is able to put words to. She speaks with love to our unconscious, helping to dissolve even our deepest resistances. As a result, this material can lift; we become purer, more lodged in Truth; and even physical pain can heal. Everyone listening rises together. It is a deeply wild journey, yet Premasudha’s guidance, support and wisdom provides invaluable stability to seekers.

Love and Blessings

Transcript

You know, There is so much cooking in the world right now, And there's so much cooking emotionally. And there's great understanding from this one about what it's like to really waking up to your heart's knowledge. It can be very shocking. Okay. There is great empathy from this one about what that's like. But it's actually the recovering of sanity. I don't see Saskia here, But you know, Saskia yesterday at the question and answer, She was in bed with a twisted back and we spoke about the twist that all of our egos are carrying underneath, Really, Where the little child twists their perception to fit into the family climate. The little child, Yeah, Does a twist away from the soul, Twists the information that they're getting from their heart. They twist it to fit in. And we talked about this. Now, Saskia has, She hasn't known this one very long, But she has a high level of trust, Very motivated. And she wrote back to say that her back was virtually better just after the words and the love behind the words. And she called it miraculous. But it was just, She was being helped to open to new data, A kind of understanding coming from a loving comprehension and her whole psyche shifted. And this bedridden thing healed up. Just, This happened right after the satsang. Okay, So you don't, Like this twist is where we kind of twist away from our hearts into a more, Like to live from the intellect more, Which is how we're taught. Now, This is so delicate to speak to you about, Because if you look at the world and where we are, We have huge amounts of aggression. Yeah. Now, This aggression is coming from fear of the heart. And this work is around helping you guys into your hearts. Now, The levels of fear we can have and the levels of resistance can be very surprising to us. We don't know what we're carrying. So, There's a level in the satsang that, You know, There's a level of care that really needs to be taken with helping you guys make the shift. And I really understand this, But I also know everything is love, You know? And, You know, We were, You know, I've gone through struggles with people, Even for like five years, To help them into their hearts, And then they finally say to me, This is what I was scared of? Like, I was scared just to be myself and to come from myself and to be true to my own heart? I was scared of this? So, For me, It's like being in a difficult comedy, Kind of a comedy with a lot of difficult emotional moments when I'm giving somebody a shake and they're going, You're all love. You are all the creator in human form. You are all made out of unconditional love. Everything you see about you is made out of unconditional love. Yeah. That is the truth of it. That's why, You know, The sages get so happy because they're going, Hey, There's no problem here. It's all incredibly beautiful. We're just a little deluded. Mm-hmm. We're taught so much. What do I have to do? That's like, You know, When I start working with Westerners, It will be, The thing that I'll be facing is their ego will be saying, Tell me the rules and I'll play the game. Tell me the rules and I'll do what keeps you happy, Premasuda. The ego tries to, You know, Solve it. It's like, That's what's wrong. But, Where in our lives is this kind of energy supported and even valued? You know, This is the rub. You might get the support from this one. Well, From obviously Allah, But, You know, In the, It's the day-to-day. Yeah. But where else? And this is what takes the courage, Is to stay true to this energy, Even if nobody around you really, Really gets it. Yeah. Yeah. There's a fear of falling. Oh, By the way, Yesterday at the question and answer, There was big breakthroughs. I mean, People are having big breakthroughs now. This is a group. You guys are. And I was saying that, You know, Over the weeks that you've turned up, I would be talking to you about all the changes that were happening in your subconscious. And that has helped build kind of a solid enough structure for some of you to have these big openings of like, Oh, I'm feeling this love. I'm feeling this expansion. And it will happen, You guys, When you're ready. Yeah. It's just when you're ready, When you're solid enough, Really in the unconscious, That the opening, The experiences have enough support that they can occur. And this can take some years sometimes. Okay. There's so much wanting to occur. And it's interesting, There's so much love wanting to come to you guys, All of you. And as I'm seeing the channel from the love, You know, Coming to you, You know what the obstruction is? I would say this is across the board in all of you. The obstruction is how you think of yourselves. Yeah. What you do to yourselves internally, The kind of inner terrorism we can all do. It's like, You know, If you want to control people, It's like, Just teach them to feel bad about themselves, And they'll just sit there. And then do what you want, Because they feel too bad about themselves to respond to the data that they're getting. Okay. This, I can, It's, You guys, I'm seeing it especially here in your throat chakras. You know, Sometimes we don't speak up when we need to. And, You know, We're speaking up, We have to be careful. It's like, You know, Sometimes we have to work internally with ourselves before we speak up. You know, We don't want to just shout and scream. If you've got a problem, You might want to do some inner reflection so that you can just present clearly to another person what the difficulty is. Here in your throat chakras a lot, You guys. Just letting yourself speak up more. Showing the truth of yourself more. See, Many people come to this one, And they want to feel better about themselves. But, You know, It is basically impossible to feel better about yourself until you're acting, Until you're taking action in alignment with the truth of you. Acting on what you know. If you do that, You will feel good about yourself. That's it. Okay, Good. Just getting that. It's like, You know, I, In the stores where the child's screaming and the mom's having trouble, I've told you often, I will come alongside and just gently support the mom, Compliment her on the child. This action makes me feel good. Not doing anything makes me feel worse. Okay. You know, Guys are, You know, It's the energy of the action in the world. And women take life in and there's a transformation occurs, And then they give birth. They take in the semen. This meets with the egg. A baby is conceived. And the baby's born. See, The woman takes in, Takes in life, Transforms, Brings it forward. The guys act on life with the outer world. You know, Like too in the caveman thing, They go out and hunt and the woman's at home with the kids. Okay. So, In our world, We have, We're overextended to taking action in the world. And the inner, The way of the inside is not valued. It's being functional and productive is valued. And if you've got a problem with that, Do enough inner transformation that you can come back to being functional and productive. Do you understand? That's, So what, Part of what happens for women who are oriented to work more from the inside is they feel it's forbidden to go inside. This I see right across the board. But the way for a woman is to go inside. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And the fact that, You know, There's been this not going to look on the inside is why we have constellated this heavy aggression happening in the world, Because there's no looking inside. It's all projection onto, You know, All the darkness is projected onto everybody else. And, You know, You guys know where we are. Now, This is where things could get difficult for the men as the women start to go, Like, Want to recover the going inside. Because there may be a fuss around this, Because the women are scared to go inside, But they need to. And also, The first thing you get if you go inside is often you hit rage. But often, You know, When you go inside, It's like the rage of the little child who has to give up their soul. This is the stuff that's sitting there inside. I'll tell you, It's all doable. It's all healable. It's like, It just, It gets done by something beyond you. It gets done by Ama. It gets done by the creator. It's very interesting doing this transformational work, Because I sometimes feel like about my personal sons, That they need to get really mad at me to free themselves. I think they're scared of, To admit how angry they are at this one. Truly. And, You know, If they did express anger, I would be like, I would celebrate it. Be like, Yes, Can you clear this block to your own soul underneath? Maybe me just saying this will help. It's like one of the things about really waking up is like, You know too much. You can see there's anger with them, But, You know, I wish somehow they could clear, Because it just translates into anger at themselves. Yes, This is exactly, It translates into anger at themselves, And then they diss themselves, Because this is what is going on in us. You know, Really, The problems people have with me is because I'm just like going, Will you wake up? And for me, It's like, For me, It's often a feeling of, Okay, I'm walking through a, You know, A minefield, Trying to help people wake up, And their egos explode. Not in a bad way, It's okay. It's like, It's, I get it. It's like, It's, You know what, It's better to have a fuss with me in a way, Because if you have a fuss with me, Then the door can clear, The door to more truth can clear. But it can clear without a fuss too, But I'm just saying that. Right. Right, Okay. Some of you are contemplating kind of shifting into feeling safer. I'm just safer in this moment, But it will translate into feeling safer in life. See, The sage has discovered that this whole existence is love. So, They're fearless, Because they know it's all love. And they know if something happens to their physical body, It doesn't have, Doesn't threaten their existence. The sage knows that their existence is eternal. So, You know, If there's a big safety net, You can do incredible acrobatics, Because you know that even if you fall, There's a solid safety net. It's not a real, There's no danger. One of the things that can happen is if you're very innocent, You can find yourself in a very bad place. You can find people just getting mad at you a lot, And you have no idea really. But you're speaking from a level of innocence that they're scared of in themselves. People get mad at you. And that's really important where you have to come back to yourself and love and honor yourself no matter what. No matter what. I remember being, I had some friends, You know, And I told you I grew up with, There was, Everybody was well-heeled. And I went to, I love this family. And I was just mentioning that, You know, In the portraits of the 18th century, 17th century, You often have kind of a picture of, It's sort of as if the owner is looking at you with this kind of haughty expression, As the painting includes his valuables. And it's like, Yes, I'm the owner of all this. And I mentioned this, And they all got really mad at me. And I'm like, That's, I'm just reporting the facts there. I'm not saying, What, What did I do? What did I do? Right. You know, Have your bond to truth, Okay? Just take your bond to truth. Freedom cannot be given. It has to be taken. We have to grab it. See, So often in spiritual trainings, There'll be lots of people sitting there, But they're sitting from that old view of, I'm not, There's something wrong with me. I need to be fixed. So, I can't really be myself until I'm fixed. And the teacher's going, You're fine the way you are. Just take your freedom to be yourself. Aha. This is really where we are. Yeah. That's it. And if the teacher will respond, If the energy's coming from truth, I think I told you that Abraham had this rule that you, You know, The Hawaiian shaman I studied with, He didn't want rocks along the paths, I'm sure, Because for people to trip. But I was, I didn't know this, And I built this path. I put rocks along it. Everybody got mad at me, But he said, Leave it, Keep it. Because he knew it had been done in innocence. I had done it with my whole heart, Wanting to make something beautiful. And he honored that. See, The teacher will always smell it if it's coming from truth. And we'll validate that. The teacher will just take the scalpel to the ego to help kind of cut away the dead growth that's in your way. You know, When I'm working with you, I know that we're all the same love energy underneath. So, I know that underneath, You know what I know. I do. You know exactly what I know. You do. Yeah, You emerge from the same love. Please. Ah, It's another way of saying to you, You're God, You're the creator. Just as you are. Just as you are, You are the creator. Just, It's like, Think of two rooms. So, You've got a house with two rooms. There's one house, There's one room, Where when you go into it, You forget you're the creator. And you've got the whole storyline of your ego. But when you come back to the center room, You remember. You remember you're the creator, You are the creator. And all the thoughts that you were thinking in the other room, They just disappear. And you're just walking around like you did as a little child. Just happy. You guys, It's like I'm trying to invite you out of the room, I'm trying to invite you out of the trying to invite you out of the room of your egos into this chamber of the heart. Because it's in you. You're just, You're just in the other room, And you've gotten diluted a bit. Yeah, Come back to the heart. Yeah, That's it. And I want to say, Come back to the heart and feel like royalty in a good way. That's it. A child with self-esteem, If a stranger touches them inappropriately, The child will say, Don't do that, And will remove themselves. A child without self-esteem puts up with stuff. But they shouldn't. That's it, You guys. I remember somebody was talking, This was when I was studying with Abraham. Somebody was talking, And I started to cough. Look back now, And I started to cough because what this person was saying was speaking from, She was speaking from a very deep level of truth, And it was scaring me on a level. So, I was coughing, And Abraham turned to this guy and said, Tell her, Meaning tell me, Tell Janet Premasuda, That she's God. Right. See, If I knew I was God, I wouldn't be coughing in fear at what this person was saying. Right. Good. Good. There's something that happened there. You know, This is where this knowledge came from, Just many incidences like this, You know. Prayers, Bumbling. That's it. That's it. I can feel this opening developing. That's it. You're good enough. You're good enough. It's very, Very delicate work you guys are doing. You know, I'm getting, I'm feeling it deep in the subconscious. It's like this resistance kind of melting, And this would happen. Okay, Now you guys, This happens if somebody is speaking from, And they're, They cleared it. It is communicated to you guys that it is possible to live without this level of resistance. It's not anything that has to be done by you. Please, You're not doing it. It's being done by something beyond you. It's being done by truth. The work is being done by truth, Which is another word for love, Which is another word for Amma, Or Krishna, Or Jesus. You don't have to get in there. It's more like just open and observe. Okay, I can feel somebody, When they go to open, They just feel the heaviness of their heart, Their heart, And then they try to get away from it. Okay. It's a guy. So, I want this person, Please, Just be with the heaviness of your heart. Just be with it. You're very, Very valuable. Very, Very dear. Mm-hmm. Be with the heaviness of the heart. When the heart is heavy, You're actually, It's a level of resistance clearing, But we make it wrong and we try to control. If you want a light heart, You have to go through the experience of a heavier heart. There's lots of reasons to have a heavy heart these days, But just let it be. That's it. See, The challenge is the women are scared of going inward, And it's even harder for the guys, But to be whole you have to learn. It's sort of like what we're trying to do is go around in permanent daylight, And plants won't grow in permanent daylight. Life will not grow. It needs the darkness of the night. It needs the darkness of not knowing, Of vague dreams and glimmerings and the kind of where the linear mind cannot function well. We need this. Okay, I'm going to say to this person, I really understand your heaviness of heart, And I embrace you. It's a guy. I totally just embrace you in all aspects of you. You don't have to fix yourself. There's nothing wrong. This is a transformational journey. Mm-hmm. There's nothing to be ashamed about, About having a heavy heart. Just be with it. You can just be with it. You're returning. It's like the two rooms. It's like coming out of the room of the ego, Coming back to the heart. The heart is heavy because our egos are so heavy. The heart is heavy because our egos are so heavy. As we just embrace our heavy hearts, Everything will get lighter and lighter and lighter. I have had a heavy heart sometimes about how hard it is to get through to people, And I would walk around with a heavy heart, And I would just be with it, And I would pray. I would pray for myself. I'd pray for all of you, And then I would be brought up out of it. Right. Right. It's like that. Right. It's like that. Karma exists. The creator exists. The creator, Our soul, Takes us through these experiences. It's like somebody spoke about this yesterday. They take us, They got it, That the creator in them takes them into difficult experiences and brings them out. All we have to do is keep that being faithful to the creator within us. As we go through this process, Our understanding gets bigger and bigger, Our wisdom gets bigger and bigger. Yeah. The heavy heart, And coming back, It's still here. It's like this person lives with this in a way. It's very hard for him to just put his arms around himself as he has flaws and all. You know, He wants to fix himself, And we can't. We're unfixable. It is the ego that wants to fix us. Okay, You guys, Please, Please pay attention. There is an eastern story, And it reflects a lot of what I see you guys do. He's a sincere guy. He wants to be holy. He wants to be the creator. He goes like, Well, I want to bury my shadow. His shadow is dark. It's not good. It's not good. I just want the light of day. So, He digs a hole, And he tries to bury his shadow, But the light is shining behind him. So, His shadow is covering all his attempts to bury his shadow. So, The hole gets filled up, And the shadow's still there. Okay, You guys, You want to kill or bury or deny or destroy all the things you think are wrong about yourself and what's in your life. And this is this guy trying to bury his shadow. It is not solvable that way. If you're getting dark thoughts and everything, You're meditating, If you try to run from them or squish them or anything, You will make it worse. It is like a little child trying to cut off their arms and legs to be more acceptable. It's just… You guys, We are marble cakes. There is darkness. There will be darkness. The darkness is just your intelligence that was not allowed when you were young. Your full intelligence, Your full knowledge wasn't allowed. So, You put big parts of it in a closet and try to get away from it. And then you turn and start meditating, And the creator is saying to you, Well, We got to start opening up the closet and deal with this. And you go, No, No, No, No, This is all bad. This is all bad. So, Your journey, You don't get anywhere. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. You have to realize you're loved. When you realize that you're loved, You will be able to deal with this darker material much more easily. You'll be able to deal with the things in your life that aren't working much more easily. You'll just accept it more. You'll just go, Oh well. It's like you will do it in deep ways that transform the situation. I'm not talking about, Oh well, It's like this. We've got to put up with it for the rest of my life. No. I'm talking about a deep acceptance and embrace, And then that will transform the situation. Yeah. You have permission to do this. Okay. Okay. This is great, You guys. You have permission to do this. This is amazing to me. There's a level that the penny's dropping on some of your deeper levels. Wow. Hallelujah. That's it. You know, You guys were bumbling idiots. Remember I told you I had a Ph. D. In idiocy. It's the idiocy. It's like when the guy realizes that he can't bury his shadow, He realizes that he's had a Ph. D. In idiocy. You are okay the way you are. I'm speaking to all of you and this gentleman. If this gentleman gets this today, It's like, Oh my God. But Sask is twisted back, Healed in an hour. See, Stuff looks miraculous, But when somebody drops fear, They get information that when people are in fear, They are scared of. So, The person who's dropped the fear sees things and can do things that look miraculous just because they're not carrying the fear. It isn't miraculous, It's just how the universe works. The universe is love-based. We see something happen that shows this, We go, This is a miracle. No, It's just love. It's very beautiful. I wonder if some of you will feel scratchy in your throat a little bit as this heals. If you feel pressure on your bodies, Just invite the energy in, Even if it takes a couple of days for the energy to come in. If you've got pressure on your bodies of any kind, It's your soul wanting to come in. I told you, In my thirties, I was bent over. I could not stand up, And it was my disowned love power that I didn't know how to let in. I had been praying for, Give me love power, Give me love power, And then my ego went, No. So, All this love power came, And really, I could not stand up straight. And you know, I'm not like a hysterical person, But I could not. And it was disowned love power. And I ended up having to go to the psych ward for two weeks. But if somebody, If some awakened person just, You know, If I walked along and somebody said, Hey, This is just disowned love power, Let me give you a hug as you take it back in. I could have stood up. Yeah. That's what, Okay, Good. See, All these experiences just took place in real time. This is where my data came from. You guys got that. That's it. Just let the love in. People go, Even people who've known me for a while, They go, Oh, I got this pressure in my heart. And like, For years, I say, Well, You just let it in. It's love. And they just don't, They don't want to get it, How simple it is. It's okay. But I feel like, Actually, After this, I feel like after this satsang, There's going to be a rise in this, Allowing the intelligence to come in. And this is worldwide, You guys. It's not, It's happening worldwide. Everything's one. If your heart hurts, It's opening. If your heart hurts deep in the muscles, There's an opening in your unconscious. It's like some of you don't think it could be so easy. It is. It is. It is. It just, It just takes a while to trust it, You know, Really. Yeah. It takes a while to trust that, You know, It takes a little while to realize that the little kid that you were, Knew it all along, You know. You knew it all along. You were born illuminated. You knew this all along. All this stuff I'm talking to you about, Underneath, You've known it all along. It's just been too scary to, Like, Go back to. It's been too scary to allow it in. But look at our world. It's getting too scary not to allow it in. And this is why we're in this mess. Because people have refused to live their inner nature. Right. But we can bring light now. You can bring light. Just, Just making more room for you. Being gentler with yourselves. Yeah. Being less fascist. You know, Sometimes I hear non-dual people and they're speaking, And they're asking a spiritual question, But I can feel that they're being incredibly fascist to their humanity and their emotional selves, Even as they're trying to fit themselves into this acceptable box of the non-dual thing. Not everybody, But it's one of the vulnerabilities. It's why I work so much with this, Highlight the emotional IQ stuff. Yeah. It's very beautiful, You guys. There's a level you're coming back to yourselves. All of you. All of you. Remember, It's like every sad saying adds up. It adds up. It adds up. Until the change manifests. It's like pregnancy. The baby grows and grows and grows, And suddenly the baby's born. It's the same thing. You'll just keep going with this, And you'll just find that you've made a quantum leap, Really. The guy with the heavy heart's going, Not possible for me, But it is. It is. You see, That's what we do to ourselves. This is what we do. I know. It's like a comedy. It's just your choice, You guys. It's like, You know, Your soul really wants you to waken, And you're choosing a teacher who's very directed, Primal, And aboriginal, Really, In the directness. Yes. So, In Abraham's, You know, The students were taken to—in his training, They were taken two miles out and dumped in shark-infested water, And the students that made it back passed. Really. That was the training. That was one of the trainings. In the ancient days, The person who signed up to become a kahuna, And if they failed, They got put to death. Like, It was non-negotiable. Now, What's good about that, Even though it sounds terrible, Is that because the person knew that they would die if they did not do the training, They used 100% of themselves. You see? There was no conflict. What I reach in you guys sometimes is the conflict. Oh, I don't know if I really want this, Or I don't know if what she says is really true. I don't know. You guys, I'll tell you, You're shooting yourself in the foot. I mean, Like, You know, There's that aboriginal wisdom to the toughness of what they were doing. Yeah. And the thing is, You see, Do you want to be true to your soul, Or do you just want to talk? Do you want to be true to you? Yeah. How strong is it in you to be true? How strong is it? How much do you love that little child within you? That little guy, That little girl who got so hurt, How much do you love her? I'll tell you, My little kid just wouldn't shut up, So I just like, I do. Okay, You win. I'm going to love you because it is so painful not to love. I'm just going to love you. That's really what I did. If you can see your games, That's all you need. Just seeing your games, Seeing what you do. And that's why I shake people. If they're playing games, They don't want to see it. Look, Everybody plays games. Like, Egos will play games. But just see it, Because when you see it, It's like you get the conflict of, Do I really want to be true to Amar, Or do I want to play games? Like, Then you see how morally undefensible it is. So, The sincere seeker moves out of the games. Just, You don't have to fix. And even if you stay in the game for a while, Like where, You know, Sometimes the game lasts for a while, Even though you see it. Okay, It will dissolve over time. You will stop playing it because it will not work. It will not bring you happiness. It will thwart you doing this stuff. We just grow beyond it. It's like the little kid going, Okay, This isn't going to work. Yeah, It's okay. There's, You know, The love power on the Earth is getting stronger, And I'm certainly feeling it in this one, Just rising up at this critical time. And the love power in you is rising up because your soul wants you to get it. Yeah, And because the soul wins, Truly. And, You know, We can come kicking and screaming, And it's like, I've done that a lot, Kicking and screaming. And then you realize that you're wasting so much energy kicking and screaming, So you just start surrendering more and more and more and more and more and more. The big thing to this satsang is, If you remember the story of the futility of trying to bury the shadow, Of trying to fix yourself, Of trying to do it right, It's just be real. Just be real. Yeah. That's it. That's it. Be real. It's the realness with which this one speaks that gets through to you. It's like me telling you about my boys and that stuff. Yeah. That's it. You can be honest with yourselves. Yeah. I'm seeing this resistance dissolving very deeply. Has anybody got any questions or comments? Stephanie, Do you have something that you want to say? Maxie, Did you want to say something? Hi, Premasuda. Yeah. Oh, Alex, Yeah. I have to go soon, But I really just wanted to say, I've missed the last two weekends and I've been listening to the recordings multiple times and have still felt so connected with all of you, Just listening to them and so thankful. And yeah, They're just really resonating and it's felt really powerful. Good. Yeah. So I just wanted to say that and I'm happy to be back live here with you. And yeah, It's better. It's always better to be. Yeah. It's good. Yeah. Thank you, Alex. Maxie, Did you want to go back to you? Yeah. Hello, Everybody. I wrote to you about the dream and you said, Come into your heart and you will find the answer. And I did. And the answer was that I sacrificed my feminine to be protected. That's what I felt. Yeah. And that's just interesting how. Yeah. Yeah. And it makes sense. Tell them your dream. I had a dream about I was in a place where I stayed and I saw like a guy like outside and he I knew wants to harm me and he wants to get inside. So I was and he came in. And the thing I did to protect myself was to offer him my sexuality. So we were just kind of sexual having sexual contact contact. And that's how. I felt protected in that situation. And many, Many years ago, I had a almost like another dream. It was like. How to say it was like a circle, Like a man who was looking for women for prostitution. And so I was there with my friends and even my sister. And so the guy came to pick out the woman and I stepped forward and said, OK, Take me. So don't take the others. Yeah. I remembered this. And then I wrote you about the dream and I was like, OK, I don't know what that means, But I that's what I guess is like I sacrifice my feminine for feeling protected from the male or from the world or whatever. Yeah, Right. So it shows you the concept that you're running underneath is like the male not being a helpmate at all or anything that enhances being like an enemy. And then you have to. You have to manipulate and sweetie, Remember, I was talking to you about the defensiveness that I find in white and white, Particularly in my Caucasians, White people. It's like I've talked about that, That I in the body, Black people, I can feel the connection to nature in and us. There's a defensiveness, Which I feel comes from, You know, One one crop a year. Do you know what I mean? Three crops a year. Life's harder. It's colder. Do you understand? Yeah, Kind of. You do. You see this stuff. It's like the little kid isn't quite sure that she's allowed to understand it. It's OK. Don't worry. So this this defensive crustiness that I've talked to about in you is exactly this. This belief system that you have to step forward and protect. Right. And I think you do it in all aspects of your life in the sense of. There's the feeling of the threat underneath. Yeah. Yeah. Right. And I think, You know, The guys will be gobsmacked to to. Sort of in a way, Realize that this is what it's like for women. I remember once. I was. Hiking and there was a group of five, Eight guys. And I got on my phone and I phoned my son and I said, I'm just here on the phone with you because he's a bunch of eight very kind of rambunctious guys. And I just want to be on my on the phone. So there they don't bug me. And he was shocked that it was like that for me. Even an older woman. Yeah. That's yeah. Or I remember walking past, Walking with my boyfriend, Holding hands, We walked by a group of guys and I squeezed tighter in feeling threatened. And he was shocked. I think the guys don't realize what it's like for women. So how do you feel right now, Axie? Mm hmm. Like agitated, Not not really in my body. It's kind of. Yes. You are feeling this defensive energy with which you greet life right now in it. And it's how you greet the the truth of this. It's how you greet your kids. It's how you greet your your own heart. Yeah. And I'm sure all of us know what this is like. I'm not. But just knowing that it's. It's, You know, How you feel about the truth of how you feel. The lack of safety. Mm hmm. Yeah. Sweetie, Just seeing this is fantastic. Yeah. Right. And the reason you you had a headache and a thick feeling in your head is because you're used to living from more that head. And it's it's this drop into your heart that as you make you that whole headachy feeling, You won't do it. Or if you do it, You'll know that you've gone up into your head somehow. Yeah. And you can work with your heart. Okay. This is beautiful work, Maxie. Yeah, Thank you. Okay, Now remember, In integration, It will feel that it's not safe just to be come from the heart and be from your truth and everything. That's why I say to you guys, I'm here, You can email me, You can contact me because I get it. Mm hmm. Yeah. Sweetie pie, There's another thing that's going to come is you're, You're going to feel like the truth hurts in the sense of, As you move through this, Deep sorrow will arise and just feel it. Okay? Just feel it. If you feel the deep sorrow of being so caught in this defensiveness, And being out of touch with the truth of you, Just feel the deep sorrow of it, And that will heal your body mind. If you move into truth, Whatever happens in the world will be safer. Like, There's so many things I remember telling Anna that, You know, This is the kind of thing that happens. I'm really, I'm kidding you. So, I'm in this, I'm leaving Berlin, I'm in this huge lineup at the airport for the security. Really, I'm like, There are like, Looks like just huge. And a guy at the security thing, He opens his station, And he signals me to come out from my line, And to go to his security station. I am, I saved, It was 45 minutes I was going to be standing there. That was just random. I'll tell you. Yeah. Right. Good. And at the same time, When I was running the opposite energy, Crossing the border down to the U. S. On the way to see Abraham, And I was scared too, You know, I would get searched every time. There would be a problem every time. They would ransack my possessions, Like, Yeah, Because I was carrying the fear. It's okay. I even knew at the time, I thought, This is just happening because I'm scared. And then it stopped happening as I embodied more truth. And then things like this guy, You know, I mean, Actually, That doesn't always happen, But it happens a lot, This sort of stuff. And this was in Germany, Which is, You know, Wow, It's like, By the book. You see, With Alma, You see, Like, All the rules, The whole universe bows down in front of her, All the rules get, Like, All the usual rules and structures just get, Like, Negated as she comes forth. It's the same principle. If you allow this heart energy to come up in you, That's what happens. Okay. There's another thing I really, You know how we ask for grace, You guys? Okay. Do you understand that you are the creator? Okay. So, When you ask for grace, You are actually just opening the door to your own creator self. It's you. It's you. I know. So, We can even almost devote, Devotees will go like, Okay, Alma, The inner Alma and everything. But sometimes, Like, The real dropping of it's you. You are the creator. It doesn't drop. But may this drop. You're the creator. And this is an embrace of your whole selves, Your creator self, Your ego self, All the past lives, Whatever. Just big embrace of all of it. I mean, That's what Alma does for us. Yeah. Any other questions or comments? Scott? Are you there? Yes. Yes, I'm here. Yeah. I just want to send you love. Yeah. I mean, You've been getting all this love. I'm just sending you some more. And David? Are you there? David? David? Are you there, Dear one? Love for you. Shilajan, Love for you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Good. Good. You guys. Remember, This is the scariest work you can do. Yeah. But it's, You know, It's like once you live like this, You just can't do anything else. You just, You just serve love. You just, Yeah. There's been very deep subconscious changes in all of you. Whether you're aware of it or not, Nothing that you have to do. It's just happened. You've turned up. It's just happened. Before I go, I just want to say, Please, Please, All of you, Be careful how you are with yourselves. Please, Please, Please. Yeah. Be like an incredibly loving mother with yourselves, Please. Yeah, Please. We're so desperate for it, You guys. This is our main trouble is the lack of the proper mothering, The awakened mothering. We haven't had it. But can you give it to yourself, Please, You guys, Because it was, It was my hardest battle. Do you know? If you knew, If you actually, Maybe sometimes they'll tell you some stuff, And your heart will break for this one. Really, You will go, Oh, This poor woman. Yeah. Just like my heart breaks for you guys. When I see you caught in separation and being too hard on yourselves. Yeah. Do you know, I'm just seeing right now, I'm just seeing it's like Amma's come, And she's got her beautiful arms outstretched. Do you know how beautiful her arms are with that tight cloth round in her, Her wrists in her hands. And she's just gold, Like gold sparkles and stars. And she's got her arms going like this to all of us like, Ah, Yes, Yes, Yes. That's it. And you know, In my experience, It is these kind of visions and perceptions that are more true than any fact. Yeah. Right. Right. Right. Very beautiful. That's very beautiful. You all took it in. You all took it in. Okay, Please. So, Remember, Next, We're continuing with the question and answer till I go to Germany in November. So, That Saturday will operate too. Okay. Thank you for coming, You beautiful souls. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I'm getting it, You guys. You're all getting it. Truly. Yeah. You're all getting it. You're all getting it. Yeah. And some of your faces are like, Like two and three year olds. It's just adorable. Yay. Yeah. Adorable. You're getting it. Oh, Thank you.