The Illusion Of Attachment And Detachment

Learn to see that attachment and detachment – both are illusory. You can't attach or detach to someone or some experience because it's not possible. Why? Because there's only One. There is nothing else.

Transcript

One of the key indicators of our progress,

Of our growth,

Is how much love or light we can carry within us.

That also depends on your heart,

Not just this human physical heart that I'm talking about,

But more so the vibration of love that we can hold,

That we can allow ourselves to experience.

And in order for us to open up to that more and more,

We need to see the fragility of the human heart.

Because the human heart is so fragile,

It can break so easily,

We have these tactics,

Coping mechanisms of either attaching to our experiences or to people,

Or to detach from when you're more advanced in your spiritual journey,

You want to detach from the world and detach from other people and from love in that sense.

But notice that no matter what we do,

It's all a coping mechanism to protect ourselves from being hurt.

Because the heart is so fragile and you want some way to be safe,

So you either attach quickly or you detach or you just go back and forth.

And this could be,

As I said,

A person or just your own life,

Attachment to your own life or detachment to your own life.

Because this is also what we do on our spiritual journey,

When we are unaware,

We are mostly attaching ourselves to material things and experiences.

And if you're more aware,

Then you kind of become more,

Quote unquote,

Free from it,

But we're actually not free from it.

So first to recognize this fact that we do this in your life,

You may have done this I'm sure actually you have done this.

So first recognize this human heart that you have,

Which is fragile,

Which is not that strong bulletproof as universal unconditional love is.

So first that recognition itself is quite enlightening.

And then if you want to break through this,

If you want to make our human heart stronger,

More bulletproof,

As I said,

More in line and attuned with the unconditional love that already always is all the time,

Then we must go beyond attachment and detachment.

And I'm going to guide you guys through the process.

But first,

Let's understand what attachment and detachment is,

So that we have a better overview of both.

And then we can recognize within ourselves when we are attaching or detaching as a coping mechanism.

So first recall something that you have attached yourself to,

Whether it's a person or some experience in your life.

And notice the only reason that you attach yourself is because you're afraid.

There's some fear behind that.

If you attach,

Then you feel safe,

You feel better,

You feel loved,

For example.

But notice that,

That this place of attachment,

There's always some fear behind that,

Otherwise you wouldn't do that,

Because attachment is actually an illusion,

It's not possible.

Same as detachment,

Which I'm going to talk about more.

But notice that the illusion of attachment that we create is only so that we can feel better,

Feel safe,

Feel loved.

And see how it shoots itself,

Ourselves,

In our foot when we want to feel better,

But then it creates more space for fear,

For insecurities,

For doubt,

Because we are just buying into an illusion,

And it doesn't work.

It just cannot work because it's not possible to attach yourself to anything.

So just notice how much you have failed in attachment in your life,

That no matter how hard you try to attach yourself,

It didn't work,

Because it created more of what you were actually avoiding.

And even when you felt loved and safe,

All those things,

It was actually just the contrast experience of the opposite,

And you're not entirely actually getting what you truly want.

So it's just a temporary experience of the polar opposite,

Which can easily be given to you at any moment because you're too attached to feeling loved and safe from an illusion.

So recognize that.

And so then we think that the solution is to detach.

Okay,

So I cannot attach,

So let's detach.

But that's also not possible,

Because then you try to detach to feel better,

To feel safe,

To feel that I'm free from the world,

From other people,

From experiences,

But then again,

At one point you don't feel good.

Not because you were trying to feel good and you don't feel good,

But because this doesn't work also.

You can temporarily try to buy into this illusion to be detached from people and from the world,

But see that at some point you recognize that something is off.

I'm still in some kind of illusion,

Some kind of vibration of fear or trying to not get hurt,

Trying to prevent myself from opening up because I have been hurt in the past.

So as I said,

It's all coping mechanisms and they don't work.

I'm sure detachment cannot work because also it doesn't exist.

You can temporarily also feel good because you're trying to be free of everything,

But you're not.

So also recognize that,

That detachment is not possible.

You cannot really detach and every time you try,

You failed.

So either way you're a loser.

What do you do then?

So then,

What is truth?

What do we do as these humans trying to feel better,

Trying to know ourselves,

Trying to live a better life also,

To be more aligned,

To love,

To be loved?

So the reason I said that it's not possible to attach or detach is because it is based on the illusion of separation,

On the illusion of two,

That there's one person,

You,

And then there's another person,

You,

Another person,

And then you attach or detach or some experience also,

Same goes for experiences.

So the reason you feel something rather than anything else from other person is because you have a separate sense of self and I'm experiencing this joy,

This amazing experiences,

And then when I don't feel that,

I feel bad and then I'm suffering.

So any duality or any this person and that person or experience,

That is the basis of wanting to attach or detach,

The belief in duality,

The belief in separation.

And of course,

The best way to not believe in that is to abide in the oneness of who you are,

To not see the second,

Not see the other person or some other experience that you're missing out on or that you're avoiding.

So if you can do that,

That's great,

But if that is not reachable in each moment,

Which is quite hard,

I would say,

Then the best,

You can say,

Tool is to start seeing everything as you and in essence,

You can say then,

You are completely attached with everything or you can also say completely detached from everything.

If you want to use a tool of attachment or detachment,

Then instead of attaching to one person or one experience,

One thing,

Or detaching from this particular person,

This particular experience,

You either attach,

If you want to do that,

Attach to everything or you are detached from everything.

You get to the same place where you cannot do anything else further.

Because if you attach yourself with everything,

Then you are everything and then there's no other person that you can say,

It's not you.

And then it doesn't really matter what experience you have or where it goes,

What happens,

It just doesn't matter because you remember,

You recognize,

You are everything in every moment,

Every experience,

No matter how you feel.

So then even more spiritual people when they are looking for some soulmate or some experience of ecstasy,

Notice that how it cannot provide them the fulfillment that they're seeking.

But if you do this,

What I'm saying here,

Is then there's no problem.

This is true freedom.

Freedom is not detachment,

As I said before,

Freedom is this,

Is when you recognize that all is one,

Or that you are everything,

Everyone,

Every emotion,

Every thought,

Every experience,

Every possibility,

Every suffering,

Every blissful moment,

Every animal,

Every plant,

Every material,

Living or non-living,

The planet earth and beyond.

So this whole thing,

This person that needs to survive,

Just vanishes.

This person who wants to track its progress also,

Just vanishes.

You can call it ego death,

But I would say it's just seeing through the illusion of ego.

So as I'm speaking this,

Recognize how this sense,

Not necessarily a feeling,

But this knowledge,

This sense of what I'm saying is the truth.

You don't have to believe it,

You just put it to the test.

And imagine if you are completely experiencing oneness.

So then that's why I said everything you can create from your own side,

That right now if you tap into this knowledge of,

If you were not separate,

Who would you be?

In unity,

In oneness,

There's this compassion that comes forth,

This unconditional love,

And which is automatic.

You don't have to try to feel love,

But because this is the nature of this existence,

And this unconditional love includes everything,

Every emotion,

Every preference,

Every bias,

Every thought,

Which is why I said there's nothing separate.

And how can unconditional love be fragile or be hurt by anything?

That can happen only to a human heart,

Which you can accept if that experience happens to you as part of unconditional love,

But recognize the truth of what I'm saying,

That when you are coming from that,

Then there's no possibility in that moment to feel hurt,

To feel triggered,

To feel something is against you.

Because how can something be against you when there's only you?

You can buy into that belief that there's something against you,

But recognize that that's then your own illusion,

Which unconditional love allows for you to believe in if you want to,

But see that you are choosing that.

And in the moment that you don't choose it,

It's instantly gone.

And this is what I talk about,

Moving from illusion to truth,

And one of the practical ways you can actually take this on is to stop buying into your mind.

Whatever it says or believes or thinks,

You don't have to stop thinking,

You don't have to stop engaging with the mind,

But just don't buy into that.

And there's this instant recognition of your true nature,

Which is this awareness,

Which is witnessing everything,

Which is also love,

Which I was pointing to before,

Unconditional love.

Awareness,

Unconditional love is the two aspects of the same thing.

So if you don't just buy into anything,

Anything that your mind is saying or believing or thinking,

There's instant recognition of truth.

So whether it's a positive thing or a negative thing,

A good story,

A bad story,

Just don't buy into that and you're instantly free.

And feel whatever you feel,

But also don't buy into your feeling.

If you feel good,

Great.

If you feel bad,

Great.

Just don't buy into that.

Know that that's not you.

That's not just you.

You are everything,

But that's not how you define yourself.

By this person experiencing this thing,

This thought,

It's as simple as that.

Don't buy into what you're going through,

What you're experiencing.

And it will keep trying to convince you that what you're experiencing in your life or in this moment is who you are,

Is how you're defined,

Is your ultimatum,

Your life sentence.

But if you don't buy into that,

You're instantly free from yourself,

From your own prison.

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I'm not going to buy into it anymore. At least I'm going to work on it. ❤

Thank you 🙏

Namaste 🙏