Off The Cushion And Into The World - Part 1

This is a 5-part series showing practitioners how to take contemplative practices off the cushion and integrate them into their daily lives to better embody their inner values. The Virtuous Cycle Method is a systematic way of transforming destructive emotions, negative mind states and behaviors to more positive, beneficial ones. In this Part IV, we discuss the second primary element of the virtuous cycle method - taking your practice off the cushion and into the world. This is the heart of our practice where we use the arena of our everyday lives to practice our inner values. It’s where the rubber meets the road.

Transcript

This is part four of a five-part series. This program is for practitioners who seek to apply their contemplative practices, Whether mindfulness, Meditation, Or yogic practice, To their work and personal lives in ways that more fully integrate and express their inner values, That is to say, Their ethical values. What I've sought to do in this program is to help you recognize the treasure you have in these contemplative practices. And show you a systematic way of taking advantage of that treasure to transform harmful mind states and habits to more skillful ones using a process I call the virtuous cycle method. The virtuous cycle method has three primary elements. The first is what I call on the cushion work. The second is work off the cushion and into the world. And the third is checking our progress work. In part one, I provided in some detail the context for these talks, How and why I developed this virtuous cycle method, And I discussed my background. I invite you to visit that session for a fuller discussion. In part two, I described the first of the three primary elements of the virtuous cycle method. This is work on the cushion or the formal practice. About how we can use meditative approaches to cultivate positive mental states, Such as patience, Contentment, And kindheartedness. So out in the world, We encounter the person, Situation, Or event that tends to trigger the emotion we're working with. Which behaviors in turn are generated by negative mind states such as anger, Greediness, Hostility, And ill will. The method involves an analytical meditative process. I think of it as critical thinking in a meditative state. And it's a staple in the Tibetan Buddhist tradition. And for me personally, It has been an essential tool to help me overcome life's challenges. In part three, We engaged in a guided meditation that walked us through the method that was described in part two. First, We use awareness, Reflection, Analysis, And absorption to help us more fully understand how we show up currently with respect to a destructive emotion we're concerned with. In that case, We worked with the emotion of ill will. This method helped us generate a deeper understanding of the faults concerning our current way of being with respect to ill will. That, In turn, Helped us activate a strong intention to oppose the destructive emotion and to cultivate a new way of being with that emotion. Then we used an antidote to cultivate the positive mental states of friendliness and warmheartedness to combat those feelings of ill will. This then is the method that forms the core of the formal practice that I described at length in part two. In this session, Part four, We'll discuss the second primary element of the virtuous cycle method, What I call taking your practice off the cushion and into the world. This is the heart of our practice, Where we bring our inner values into our everyday lives. It's where the rubber meets the road, So to speak. And this is where I see so much of the disconnect or the slippage between practitioners' formal practice, Whether it's yoga or mindfulness practice on the matter cushion, And its integration in the world. So once we leave the mat or leave the cushion, We go out into the world and interact with others. We go to work, Spend time with our loved ones and visit with our friends. Inevitably, During the course of the day, We'll be presented with what I jokingly called a growth opportunity. To put it another way, Someone will push our buttons. We'll get triggered. The venerable Thai monk Ajahn Chah said that the true practice is where a organ meets a sense object and how we respond at that point of contact. In keeping with our example of ill will. Which we worked with in the Part 3 meditation. The point of contact could occur with our eyes, When we see the person that's the subject of our hostility, Or with our ears, When we hear them say something with which we strongly disagree. At the point of contact, Very often, We immediately default to autopilot. That is, We react without thinking according to our previous conditioning. This is because our minds often are not well trained. This is our current way of being. We see someone for whom we've developed some hostility and reactivity quickly arises. Our fight, Flight, Or freeze system might get activated. An emotional tone quickly arises. We might feel afraid. Then storytelling occurs. We tell ourselves that the person is an outsider, That he's not one of us, That he doesn't deserve our kindness. This processing happens very, Very quickly. So too are outward reactions. We might then say something unkind to the stranger at the grocery store, For example, Or we might refuse a team member's reasonable request. Or we might even reject an employment application or deny the interview. But with formal training, That is the on the cushion work. There's opportunity to develop and exercise wisdom in that gap between the stimulus and the response. Viktor Frankl, The psychiatrist, Holocaust survivor, And author of Man's Search for Meaning put it this way, Between stimulus and response, There is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. So how do we do that? How can we respond in that space with more skillfulness, More wisdom? Indeed, What we do in that space makes all the difference, Doesn't it? So there is one approach I will suggest, And this approach really ties together the work on the cushion and our interactions out in the world. But before I do that, I'd like to spend a few moments to discuss my conception and understanding of mindfulness. Because mindfulness is the glue that binds so much of what I'm going to discuss. Mindfulness as I understand it is a state of being. A state of mind, And a skill. It can be a predisposition of one's personality, Like being spontaneous or being a planner. It can be a state of mind, Like being thoughtful or thoughtless. And it can be a skill that you learn, Like playing the piano. Where remember or recollect what is to be avoided and what is to be cultivated. In other words, The central aim of mindfulness in classic Buddhist context is to recollect one's values for the purpose of staying on a good course. I submit that mindfulness must be connected to our underlying value system. There must be some fundamental ethical soil upon which our mindfulness activity is grounded. Why is that? Because when we're mindful, We keep coming back to our ethical aspirations. When we're in a mindful state, We're remembering what to let go, Say habitual avoidance, Because you know that doesn't cultivate resilience. And what to develop. Say compassion or courage. Without the ethical link, I worry that mindfulness teachings might be facilitating some version of what I euphemistically call the mindful sniper. Of mindfulness is taught in the West these days. But because the sniper's intention is to kill, This type of bare awareness does not cultivate what I call right mindfulness. It's practicing bare attention without any ethical component. And I don't think this is good for society. The mindful sniper may or may not be an exaggerated metaphor, But I hope it does make the point. What I'm advocating is for mindfulness that not only trains us to experience the present moment without filters, But also a mindfulness that cultivates our ability to recall our virtuous intentions. To remember what to let go of and to recollect what to develop. So? Having that context, We can now return to our approach for how to respond in the world in that gap between stimulus and response, And to do so with greater skill and wisdom. First, As we get up from the cushion, Let's say it's at the beginning of the day. We do so with the intention of transforming the target emotion whenever it arises during the course of that day. Or that morning, Or some other time period to which we realistically believe we can bring our mind's energy. In other words, We say to ourselves that we'll be mindful of those situations that might generate the target negative emotion. This involves mental labor, Y'all. And that's why it can be difficult to maintain this type of vigilance all day, Every day, Or for prolonged periods of time. But as you work with this practice, You can develop a better sense of what you can realistically handle. There's no set rule. The important thing is to start somewhere, To do so with gentleness toward yourself, And to monitor. You've done your formal practice in the morning. You set an intention for some portion of the day. Then you leave your house and you go out into the world. Now, I'm speaking euphemistically when I say that. I recognize that what happens in the home or on the cushion is not somehow of a different world. There's plenty of developmental work that happens in the home with our parents, Our children, Even our pets, For example. But I'm using the phrase to distinguish the formal practice on the cushion that involves primarily your inner work and work off the cushion that involves interactions with others. So out in the world, We encounter the person, Situation, Or event that triggers the emotion we're working with. The object could be a mean boss or being given an assignment with an unrealistic deadline. It could be a long line at the grocery store. Or it could be your neighbor who has lots of tattoos. There are an endless number of examples, And I'm sure you can come up with your own. Our mindfulness helps us to become aware of what's happening in that moment. Ah, Yes, I see my tattooed neighbor leaving for work and just seeing him, I feel ill will arise. This is the point of contact which can occur so quickly. And if you can capture that awareness at the point of contact, That's really, Really skillful. That's really a major victory. Why? Because as I mentioned earlier, We're mostly attuned to autopilot, Not being very present with what's happening at any given moment. Next, Mindfulness helps us recollect our intention. You can think, Oh yeah, I said I wanted to work on ill will. Because feeling hostility towards someone just because they might treat their body differently from how I would is not who I want to be. I don't know that person's story, And reacting with hostility dishonors us both. Instead, I want to let go of that. They're another human being just like me, And I want to feel a sense of kindness towards them. You can think like that. Again, This all happens very quickly. You're not standing there for a couple of minutes thinking, Now what was my resolution and motivation again? It's not like that. From your meditation practice, You know that thoughts occur at the speed of light. What you're retraining your mind to do is when you encounter an object that has been the source of your suffering. Recall or be mindful of how you want to engage with that object. So then we can implement an antidote right then and there.