Morning Insight: Rewards & Habits

This morning insight will explain how different reward types can make or break the habit formation process. As a follow-up meditation, you may find "Morning Meditation: Value-Based Habits" a useful practice. This talk is inspired by the work of other habit researchers and writers such as BJ Fogg, Charles Duhigg, James Clear, Bas Verplanken, and Jie sui.

Transcript

Good morning.

Today's morning insight is about how we can make ourselves feel good about our habits.

My name is Inga and it is my mission to bring you science-based insights on everything between psychology,

Yoga and meditation that in my current opinion will help you to lead a curious,

Connected and healthy life.

Today we'll discuss the general topic of habits and we will focus specifically on how we can feel good about habit formation in the long run.

There is a very important rule in habit formation and that rule is that we repeat what feels good.

I'll say that once more.

We repeat what feels good.

Now behaviors can feel good for two reasons.

Reason number one is that something can bring us pleasure through our senses.

We eat what tastes good.

We gaze at what looks good.

We listen to what sounds good.

Reason number two is that something can bring us pleasure through knowing we align our actions with our values.

When kindness is a core value,

Each time we smile to a stranger,

We embody the identity of a kind person.

When we know what we value most and we do the things that align with those values,

We feel aligned because each moment we repeat a value-based habit,

We feel progress towards becoming the person we want to become.

Creating habits around our values and over time building an identity that is value-based is what creates meaning and deep fulfillment in life.

Now,

Reason number one,

Rewarding ourselves through pleasuring the senses,

Is important to wire in a new habit.

We have to feel a reward to some extent to keep repeating the behavior.

It is very hard to do something we don't like doing.

This is the reason why finding a meditation style or teacher on the app that you enjoy is so important.

If you are a first-time meditator and you do not particularly enjoy meditation yet because it frustrates you,

Which is a very normal response,

Reward yourself immediately after meditating in order to wire in your new habit.

Have a gorgeous cup of coffee or tea while you meditate.

Eat a tiny piece of chocolate.

Give yourself a big hug when you're done.

Smile.

Have your roommate compliment you.

Whatever works for you.

Hopefully with increased skill you will start to enjoy the rewards of meditation just as it is.

Now,

Reason number two is what makes the habit stick in the long run.

The effects of small rewards wear out in the long run.

We will need bigger and better rewards to sustain a habit and this is why drug users keep using more and more.

So having a values-based habit is aimed at becoming a person that is kind,

Healthy,

Curious,

Compassionate.

That is what will sustain your habit in the long run.

The feeling of joy that comes from aligning your actions with your values.

One very important point of note is that a reward needs to be immediate in order to wire in a habit into your brain.

An immediate reward is not the same thing as a future incentive.

An example of a future incentive is the milestone you get on Insight Timer when you've finished 10 meditations in a row.

Although such an incentive can be a very useful motivator,

It is not an immediate reward.

The actual milestone achieved is not close enough to the behavior to connect the behavior to the reward in your brain.

Another example.

Some people come to yoga classes to become more flexible or more fit.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

I used to be one of them.

But the incentive of being flexible or fit in the future only motivates for a couple of weeks.

In order to wire in a habit,

You need to reward yourself in real time.

Meditating needs to feel good.

Doing yoga needs to feel good.

Or,

If it doesn't,

You need to reward yourself through the senses.

A last word on incentives.

If anything,

Failed attainment of an incentive can be an immediate punishment when you fail to do one day of meditation.

And as a consequence,

You have to start all over again.

Failing to get flexible through yoga within a few weeks may disappoint you and make you back down because you feel like a failure.

So please be aware.

Although milestones,

Progress measures or habit tracking of other sorts can be motivating,

They are not immediate rewards,

They do not wire in habits and they can actually backfire if you don't make progress early in the process of learning.

The conclusion of today's Morning Insight is that when you start a new habit,

You need immediate rewards that make you feel good.

To continue habits,

It is useful to have a valued-based reward in the form of feeling good about growing into a certain person.

And if you feel like incentives can throw you off your habit game,

There is nothing wrong with you.

You just need to refocus your attention on finding an immediate reward.

Thank you for checking in and I will see you soon on your next Morning Insight.

Reviews

Helpful explanation and easy to put into practical use

Clear, concise, a wornerful and wonderfully simple reminder of how to help stay in track. Thank you 🙏

What great information. You so clearly express the concept of successful habit formation. Very helpful. Thank you Inge.

Thanks, Inge, I it was very helpful morning insight ✨

Very well explained, and brought back in relevance to meditation.

Wow. Love your energy! 💖Thank you. 🙏🏼These points were so clear and helpful. Definitely taking away that notion of immediate reward through the senses, values based rewards to layer on, and the caution on some of the pitfalls of habit tracking and milestones set in the future! (I find that fitness watches can be guilty if this, where you miss the goal by some some small amount and feel like you failed, instead of recognizing the progress you did make and that the end number is a bit arbitrary.) Excited to check out more of your offerings here. 😊💞

This is a interesting and very Thank you for this very helpful insight about creating and SUSTAINING habits. It explains so much about my own experiences with habits (the good, the bad, and the abandoned habits).

Loved it. This put things into perspective for me for a job I currently feel undervalued at - thank you.