The Wave Underneath The Want

Underneath every craving is something quieter. Tiredness, loneliness, grief we haven't named, a restlessness we've been carrying since childhood. The reaching is usually trying to keep us from feeling whatever that is. This 15-minute practice doesn't try to fix the craving. It looks at it. Locates it in the body, sits with the pull, and then asks what's underneath. Not to solve it. Just to meet it. By the end, you'll usually find the thing the wanting was covering. Often it's simple, and often you can give it to yourself without going to the thing you were reaching for. Good for anyone with a habit they can't quite name.

Transcript

Welcome. So I invite you to sit somewhere comfortable. Or you can do this lying down. The position doesn't matter. But being still is important for this. So this practice isn't about a particular urge, It's about what lives underneath any urge. So the sensation that the wanting is trying to cover up. So I invite you to take a slow breath in. And a slow breath out. Again in through the nose, Out through the nose or the mouth. And one more, Slow breath in. And out. And now think of something you keep reaching for. Be food. It could be your phone or. . . And drink at the end of the day. Could be a person you keep trying to get a response from. Anything you go to reactively without quite deciding to go to it. So if you've got something, Hold it lightly in your mind. And now feel where the wanting lives in your body. Not the object you want, But the wanting itself, The pulling. Where is it? Perhaps belly, Chest, And maybe somewhere else. Locate it as best you can. There's no right answer. Just notice where you feel the pull. Now stay with that sensation. Without going and doing or getting the thing. Don't argue with the wanting, Just feel it. Most of us never sit with the wanting itself. We go and we feed it, Or we judge ourselves for having it, Or we distract ourselves. Today we're just feeling it. So breathe slow and stay with the pull. Now ask yourself, What does the wanting actually feel like? Is it tight? Empty. Heart. Anxious, Sad. Lonely? What does the one thing actually feel like? Often when we sit with a craving long enough, We find there's something underneath it. Not the thing we're reaching for, Something quieter. That the reaching is trying to escape. See if you can find what's underneath. You're not solving it, You're just looking at it Maybe it's tiredness. Maybe it's loneliness. Maybe it's a kind of restlessness you've had since childhood? Maybe it's grief you haven't named. Whatever you find, Just be with it for a minute. You don't have to fix or feed it, Just keep it company. And this is the wave underneath the ones. The thing that the wanting was trying to keep you from feeling. Perhaps not as scary as it seems, It's just a sensation. That can be felt and survived. Breathe with it. If your mind wants to take you somewhere else, That's fine. Just notice and come back. The body is where this sensation lives, This wanting. And now very gently ask the sensation what it actually needs, So not what the urge wants. For what the thing underneath wants or needs. Often the answer is something simple, Rest or stillness, To be heard, To not be alone for a few minutes, To cry, To move, Just listen to what the thing underneath wants. And whatever the answer is, Just take it in. You don't have to act on it right now, Just register it. And now let's take three slow deep breaths in. . . And out. And out. In. And out. The next time the urge comes, You might remember this. You might remember that under the wanting was something quieter. Something you can actually give yourself. For now, Let the breath go back to normal. Let the eyes open when they want to. And move slow when you come back to the room. The body will remember what you just did. Thank you for being with me today.