Dealing With Jealousy In Relationships

No matter how much you tell yourself you're worthy of love and that your partner loves you, you still struggle with jealousy and insecurity. The trick to overcoming this is not about telling your mind how to think differently. The key is about shifting the way you feel in your body This is a gentle and safe movement meditation that will help you shift your jealousy in a way that words cannot. About jealousy, feeling insecure, comparing to others, and wanting more self-confidence.

Transcript

Hi,

This is Orit Krug,

Board certified dance movement therapist and trauma and relationship expert.

Today,

I would love to guide you through a movement-based meditation on overcoming relationship jealousy.

You may have done my previous meditation on overcoming jealousy,

And this one is going to be more focused on insecurities and jealousy and feeling not good enough specifically in your romantic relationships.

So to begin,

We are going to get in a comfortable position wherever that may be for you today.

You can wiggle around or shift a little bit,

See what your body is really saying yes to in terms of starting sitting down,

Lying down,

Or perhaps standing up.

And once you find that position,

We are going to take three deep breaths together.

Breathing in and breathing out.

And again,

Breathing in and breathing out.

And one last time,

Breathing in and breathing out.

Returning your breath to normal and hopefully feeling a little bit more present and settled in your body in this moment.

I'm going to invite you now to imagine or visualize or focus in on those times where you feel jealous and insecure in your romantic relationship.

Whether you're jealous of your partner having fun without you or enjoying their screen time without you.

Or perhaps they notice another attractive person and it immediately makes you feel a certain way.

Maybe you get jealous of a friend or a colleague that your partner talks to or talks about.

Maybe there's no real rational understanding about why you get jealous,

But it just happens and it creates uncomfortable feelings inside of you.

Whatever the situation may be,

I want to invite you to focus in on that.

And as you're doing that right now,

Notice what sensations come up in your body.

You may feel tension in your shoulders.

You may feel butterflies in your chest or your stomach.

You may feel the urge right now to escape your body and go into analyzing and thinking the worst possible scenarios.

Stay in your body and notice what sensations are there.

And if it helps,

Focus on just one sensation at a time.

You may notice the color,

The texture,

Or the temperature of this sensation.

You may notice if it's moving a certain way inside of you or moving to other body parts.

There's no right or wrong.

The point of this is to focus in on how the jealousy is making you feel inside your body.

And once you feel that,

I'm going to ask you now to invite movement into this experience.

So how does your body want to instinctually move in response to these sensations?

For example,

If you noticed an urge to escape your body into your mind,

You might naturally want to hold yourself,

Give yourself a gentle squeeze as if it's telling your body,

Hey,

Stay here.

If you noticed butterflies in your stomach or your chest,

You might feel the natural instinct to place your hand on your chest with some pressure.

Or if you felt tension coming up in your shoulders,

You might feel the natural desire to roll your shoulders backwards and forwards.

There is no right or wrong way that you can do this as long as you are staying safe and not harming yourself.

Whatever way your body feels natural to respond right now,

Follow that.

Follow these movements.

You could be doing the same movement over and over again or they might expand or shift or evolve into some other movements.

And as you're moving right now,

What is your body telling you?

What are your movements telling you?

Because every time you feel jealous and insecure and you feel a response in your body like heightened anxiety,

Racing hearts,

Tension in your shoulders,

Butterflies in your stomach,

Whatever you feel in your body,

That is your body sending you a message that there is something that needs to be worked through here.

And instead of projecting that something onto your partner and your relationship or another woman or another man or whoever and what they have and what you don't have,

Instead of escaping into your mind,

Into all of these thoughts that are often not even based on reality,

Focus on your body.

Focus on your body right now in this moment.

What is your body telling you that you need?

For instance,

If you are giving yourself a hug or holding with some pressure,

Your body is asking you to support yourself,

To meet yourself and give yourself nurturing and care through this insecurity.

If you started,

For example,

To move your shoulders and then expanded into moving your arms,

And now you're moving with your arms stretched out into space and taking up all this space around you,

That may be your body showing you that you deserve to take up space.

You are worthy of taking up space instead of going into these moments,

Making yourself small,

Probably isolating,

Tensing up and freezing in your body.

Your body instead is asking you to take up space,

To be more open,

To allow yourself to be seen instead of hiding.

These are just a couple of examples of what your body could be telling you right now through movement.

It's possible that you're doing something completely different,

But there are messages that your body is always trying to communicate with you.

And if you listen,

At least right now,

You might be able to hear it a little bit clearer.

You might realize that your jealousy is not a message to compare yourself to another person or to try to even convince yourself that you are worthy because that just continues trying to solve it with the mind and leaving and disconnecting from your body.

Stick with the sensations you're feeling right now and whatever movement you naturally respond with.

I'm going to leave about a minute of space so that you can see what else comes up,

If anything else comes up.

Because it's also okay to have an experience where you're not even moving that much.

And that can say a lot too.

Okay?

Whatever you're doing right now,

However you are moving,

I'm going to invite you now to start slowing down gradually.

Slowly making your movement slower,

Smaller,

Until you eventually reach a pause.

Perhaps even finding yourself in an ending position that feels right for you right now.

That could look like hands on your heart,

Or a self-hug,

Or perhaps allowing your body to lie down and rest if this was a powerful or intense experience.

Whatever way you choose to end,

There's no right or wrong.

In this position,

Let's take another deep breath together to end this experience.

Breathing in,

And breathing out.

Take a moment to notice how your body feels now.

Notice there are sensations that feel different than when you began this movement meditation.

When you are ready,

You may gently open your eyes.

Look around your physical space,

Getting acquainted with wherever you're at,

And make physical contact with your own body,

Acknowledging that you are right here,

Right now,

In this realm of time and space.

Whenever you feel jealous or insecure in your relationship,

Remember to come back to your body,

To tune in and meet your body with what it needs.

Instead of escaping into your mind,

Into revolving thoughts,

Into places that don't really matter,

Because the only thing that matters is allowing yourself to feel the emotions and work through them and give yourself what you need.

We all get jealous,

We all get insecure sometimes,

And it's okay.

It's a message to work through something that is unresolved.

And if this is happening for you more than sometimes,

If you're getting jealous very frequently to the point that it is sabotaging your relationship and your sense of emotional well-being in your life,

Then I encourage you to take my 10-day Insight Timer course called You Are Worthy of Love,

Healing from Trauma.

It's a much deeper dive into how trauma gets stored in the body and how it manifests in unhealthy relationship patterns like jealousy,

Self-sabotage,

And more.

You can visit my Insight Timer profile to sign up for the course.

And until next time,

I hope you know you deserve to be able to let healthy,

Lasting love in.

Reviews

Doing this meditation was important to understand how much the mind tries to rationalize some things and how we adopt behaviors that end up wearing down the relationship. We generally see jealousy as something to be urgently eliminated, or we are ashamed of our feelings, or we think that we must be strong, improve something in ourselves to confront the characteristics that we think our partner sees in the other as desirable. or we simply give up the "fight" and sink into depression. But this precious meditation shows that there are other ways of dealing with jealousy, more balanced, healthy, loving and fair to ourselves. Thank you very much

Thank you. This helped calm my overthinking mind and helped me process some of my thoughts and feelings.

That was so powerful, thank you so much. I was surprised how much my body was trying to tell me. You helped me listen. I want to work on this more so I am going to start the course that you mentioned now. I can’t thank you enough 🙏💗

Always on point thank you so much!! I was blaming myself for feeling jealous when my partner simply pointed out another person was 'cute' (even though it meant nothing) and I was judging myself and blaming myself and almost doing that to her. I knew what to do. I immediately searched for this and I know I did the right thing. Thank you ✨

Right on time. Thank you. 💕🙏🏾

Loved this meditation! It helps understand the connection between emotions and sensations in the body. ✨