Acceptance

If you have had to let someone go or to move away from a situation in your life that seems too hard to handle then you may find this useful.

I felt that the first week of the new year was the right time to do a podcast on acceptance so we can start our new years off to a flying start. I really believe that acceptance is one of the hardest things to achieve for painful situations. But when we do accept what comes after is amazing. It's the true power within.

Transcript

My name's Nat and you're listening to the wonder of life.

Before getting comfortable,

Please make sure that your phone is switched to do not disturb and that if you're in a room that the door is closed.

If anyone else is around you,

Ask them kindly to not interrupt you or ask them to join you.

This is your time to relax and to wonder about life from a place of peace.

Make sure you're comfortable and warm and cosy.

Get yourself settled and relaxed.

We're going to tune in to the breath.

We'll do the first breaths using only the nose.

But before taking your first breath,

Please be aware that when you breathe in with your nose,

Your stomach should inflate.

If it doesn't,

It means you need to correct it.

Breathing through the nose,

Deep into the stomach will relax you.

So breathing through the nose,

Watching the belly rise and then lower is the way to do it.

Let's start.

Breathing in through the nose.

Breathing in through the nose.

And out.

And again,

In through the nose.

And out.

One more time.

In through the nose.

In through the nose.

And out.

You're now ready to wonder about life.

Acceptance is sometimes hard when we're trying to accept something that we don't agree with.

Maybe it's something we don't want to accept.

Maybe it's something in ourselves or something we have to accept about someone else that's difficult.

But acceptance nonetheless is important for our own growth.

It's Byron Katie that talks about acceptance and says to us,

If we argue with reality,

We'll lose every time.

The reason that she says this is because it's our resistance to accepting our current situation that causes us the most suffering.

Generally in life,

What we resist somehow persists.

And it seems to be a never-ending story when we're trying to get over something,

Usually someone,

That we really struggle on letting go.

Letting go is one of the hardest things we have to do.

But in the letting go,

There's an energy.

There's a new power and a new presence that comes to us that strengthens us.

When we create our boundaries and we're willing to let something go that no longer serves us or is temporarily suffering us or suffocating us,

That's when we really have the magic to let go.

If we can let go in that moment,

We can find peace.

Holding on to something and trying to keep hold of someone or something in your life that just doesn't fit right now is hard.

I've personally done this myself,

Unfortunately on more than one occasion.

On the latest occasion,

I held on to the love I had for someone for such a long time.

They didn't.

They transformed it into something else.

But I couldn't let go of my dream.

I wanted it to be that person.

I wanted the magic and the connection that we once had.

But I can't say the same for them.

I held on and held on and held on.

And every time I held on,

It caused me more pain.

When I decided to let go,

Almost probably two years ago,

It was one of the most freeing moments of my life.

Almost immediately of letting go of someone,

Someone else popped up.

And there lie in my new miracle.

This was the new person that was coming into my life to teach me something else and something better.

But that also turned out to be an education in learning to let go and accept the situation.

I went from finding someone that rejected me,

That didn't know how to be with me,

To someone that wanted me but it just wasn't the right time.

It was difficult.

But on both occasions,

I just needed to let go.

I needed to create boundaries for myself.

To find someone that aligned with me and that loved me in the way that I loved them.

But what I really found was it doesn't matter about the other person.

If you learn to love yourself,

You don't need love from another person.

Yes,

You might want the attention and you'd like commitment.

And you also like to have the communication.

But when you have real love for someone,

It actually comes from you.

It doesn't come from the external source.

And you only find genuine real love when you've learned to accept even the toughest of situations.

Now it's not easy learning to accept someone that doesn't want you.

Or to accept a situation that isn't quite what you wanted it to be.

But the longer that you try and struggle with that situation or manipulate it into something it doesn't want to be,

The harder it is to work with.

Learning to let go is a great gift.

And funnily enough,

It's one of the most simple things we need to do.

In order to let go,

It requires us to have faith.

Faith in something we have never seen.

Faith in something that might be on its way to us.

Faith in a higher power.

Faith that this situation isn't our greatest goal and that something beyond it is even greater.

Something that can transform us in ways that we never knew,

Imagined or even possibly thought could be for us.

But trust me,

On the other side of letting go and on the other side of just acceptance,

I found the best version of me.

The depth that you understand within yourself when you've learned to let go and the acceptance that you have for all situations pretty much revolves around you learning to be patient.

Patience is something I'll talk about in the future but just for now it is indeed a virtue and it shapes you.

It'll turn you into the best version of yourself.

And learning to be patient allows good things to come into your life.

I really want to stress here though that acceptance sometimes does feel counterintuitive.

Acceptance doesn't mean that you're giving up.

It's not a weakness to learn to accept something.

You shouldn't accept someone for bullying you or for being mean to you or accept someone for not giving you the respect you deserve or the communication that you deserve.

But when there's nothing else you can do about a situation and you've done all that you can to align with what it is that you want but it's still not happening.

Letting go in that moment and trusting that there's another higher power at play bringing you exactly what you need and at the right time is brave.

It's definitely,

Definitely not a weakness.

The way to truly accept is to resist nothing.

Nothing at all.

If you can learn to fully accept a situation regardless of what shows up for you and just to be at peace with everything then you're living in a magical world.

Really to accept a situation even if it's one you don't like and to know that it's just temporary as everything is and that nothing lasts and everything changes.

Soon you'll see that what you didn't like moves past and sometimes the hardest things need to move through us.

They're designed to break us down to help us see who we really are and it's something most of us don't like.

But if you go against the crowd and you find your own path of acceptance it's magical.

When you truly accept something you learn to be more compassionate.

You can forgive.

I'll give you an example.

When I truly learned to accept the situation that the man I loved dearly didn't want me in the same way that I wanted him and I truly learned to let go.

My forgiveness came flying through the door.

I had no hate for him.

I understood the situation and I understood that for reasons that I couldn't see or that didn't yet know of that there was something even greater lying in my path.

I started to forgive him.

I started to forgive all the things that used to annoy me about him.

I stopped hating him for not wanting me.

This sounds crazy but it's true.

I stopped getting angry at the thought of him with someone else.

I just let him go.

And by letting him go it didn't mean I stopped loving him because when you really love someone it never ever ends.

It only gets deeper and sometimes it transforms into something else and sometimes you just need to wait until something else happens.

But for me I knew at that time it wasn't the right thing for me right then.

I needed to move on.

And behind me hanging on there I was waiting for myself the whole time.

I'd been single for 10 years on the 7th of February 2019 and I thank him right now for not choosing me.

I accepted fully that he rejected me and I accepted it,

I embraced it and I moved on.

And what I learnt in that process was the most magical thing I've ever learnt about myself.

In the acceptance I fully learnt to love myself and yes occasionally there's things I don't like but on a whole I accept who I am.

I understand who I am and why I'm here and the power that that holds.

And I know when I celebrate my 10 year anniversary with myself I can stand there and say I fully accepted being single.

I engaged with being single.

I saw all of my fears,

All of my dramas,

All of my ego traits,

All of my habits,

All of my understandings and I fully fully grasped who I was.

And I would never ever have been able to do that without being rejected by him.

So as much as it hurt in the moment it was one of the most magical gifts he could have ever given to me.

I wouldn't be where I am now if he hadn't rejected me.

And that I fully accept and I love him even more for that gift.

Trust me when I say acceptance is the most powerful thing you have.

You can accept any situation that comes into your life.

When you accept it you learn to look at it differently.

You relax.

You have a different perception and you become very very strong within yourself.

I truly believe that we all have a greater level of acceptance within us.

And it's something that you do personally,

Something you do on your own.

Usually acceptance just slowly comes and goes.

If there's a big dramatic acceptance for something it might feel like a relief but true acceptance you hardly notice it.

It's just one day you realise that you fully accept a situation.

It's calm.

It's relaxing.

It doesn't require any thought.

It just happens.

There's nothing exciting about accepting something.

You just know that it's the right thing for you to do.

Thank you for listening to the wonder of life.

This is your last chance to be part of this moment.

There's a lot more to come.

So please take a moment to be part of this.

I will see you again soon.

Thank you very much.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Reviews

Dear Natalie, wonderfully insightful and honest piece. How do we accept that someone doesn't love us the way we love them? How do we reset our expectations? It seems really hard yet the end worked out for you...thank you

The timing couldn’t be better. Thank you ❤️

I’m going through a Break up. I looked up acceptance and the first one that came up I had me wishing I never press play. I have no idea why this isn’t the first one that comes up. Why It only has less than 1000 listens. I have been crying for an hour straight going through this pain and suffering and after listening to my “go to” hokie meditation on acceptance I knew I needed more.

This is not your average guided meditation. There’s no imagery, no waxing poetic, or even any focus on the breath after the initial start. This woman’s story though told my own. I am an addict and as part of my recoveryIt is a corner stone to be “in acceptance”.

I have never quite understood the concept of acceptance or letting go. I’m like the fat kid who’s got their hand tight around a candy bar. Quite literally.

Sitting through this meditation or what may better be described as a talk after it guiding me to my best hearing and listening space, I now see this concept a new way.

1000 shares on this HUGE little topic and hundreds and hundreds of meetings of the Anonymous type have not brought me the clarity that I now have.

I am sure that more will be revealed, hopefully more quickly then slowly as I continue to listen to this meditation. I guess I’ll just have to be in *acceptance* either way.

The tears have stopped flowing for now and my breath is back to it’s calmness. For that I am grateful.

I like the way you share your personal story and how it relates to the subject. It's so honest and helpful. Thank you.

Love it! Love it! Love it! So true. Thank you 🌸🙏🌷

Perfect timing- I needed to here this right now ! Thank you for your honesty and sincere gratitude !

Nat, thank you for your warm authenticity. I needed this wisdom today. Such simple yet profound truth on acceptance . 🌷✨💫

Listening to this came at just the right time for me as I'm in the process of letting go of a relationship... Thank you Nat 💜x

Exactly what I needed to hear. 😊🙏

Acceptance=Peace ... Thank you