Meditation For Self-Compassion

Sometimes we are hardest on ourselves just when we need kindness and care the most. Learning self-compassion will build your resilience and inner strength and help you deal more skillfully with suffering.

Life can suck sometimes, shitty things happen and we can’t control or prevent them, BUT we can control our interpretations and reactions to them. In this meditation we practice self-compassion towards ourselves, instead of self-criticism and judgment, and connect to our innate goodness.

Transcript

Hi everyone,

Welcome to this meditation for self compassion.

My name is Neline and I'm so happy you're here with me today.

So sometimes or oftentimes we can be very hard on ourselves.

I'm sure some of you can relate.

We often are hardest on ourselves just when we need kindness and care the most.

It's a learning self compassion will build your resilience and your inner strength,

Which we all can need in this very challenging world we're living in right now.

So this doesn't mean that we're not going to experience pain and suffering in life.

Life can just suck sometimes shitty things happen and there's nothing we can do about that.

We cannot control or prevent some of those things happening,

But we can control our reactions to them.

So our reactions and interpretations of situations and things that are happening play an important role in how we experience them.

In Buddhism,

This is called the second arrow,

Which is a concept or story from the Buddha about how to deal more skillfully with suffering.

In that story at the end,

The Buddha says in life we can't always control the first arrow,

Those shitty things that happen.

However,

The second arrow is our reaction to the first.

The second arrow is optional.

So oftentimes in life we increase our own suffering by shooting that second arrow,

By blaming ourselves,

By judging ourselves instead of bringing compassion and kindness towards ourselves.

The good news is that we can practice that skill of self compassion.

It is like a muscle that you train and strengthen and the more you use and strengthen that muscle,

The stronger it gets.

And it can become a habit.

So let's get started with the meditation.

Just before we start,

I want to mention that there is nothing else you have to do here than follow along,

Follow my instructions.

And noticing when your mind is wandering off.

It is totally normal that thoughts come up during the practice,

That your mind wanders.

Sometimes when we close our eyes and our bodies get still,

The mind gets even more busy.

So don't worry if that happens.

It is normal.

It is the mind's job to think.

So all you need to do is when that happens,

Notice it and gently invite yourself back to my voice,

To the instructions,

One breath at a time,

Again and again.

That is really what we are practicing meditation.

We are practicing awareness of the thoughts that come up and we practice to stay present.

Alright,

So make yourself comfortable in whatever positions you are in.

If you want to sit,

Sit comfortably on both sit bones.

If you are laying down,

Make sure you have something maybe under your knees to support your lower back or however you want to be.

Just make sure you can sit or lay down in a comfortable position.

And then for a moment,

Open your eyes.

And be very conscious as you slowly close your eyes.

Consciously slowly turning your gaze inward,

Shifting your attention from your outer to your inner world.

Just notice what happens.

Where do you go as you turn inwards?

Do you go to a certain body part,

To your breath,

To a thought,

To a noise,

A sound around you?

Just notice where your attention goes as you turn your attention inward.

There's no good or bad or right or wrong answer.

It's just good to know that where your attention goes,

That's where your energy flows.

So it's good to know where your attention is.

And then consciously,

Gently shifting your attention now to your breath.

Just start to settle your attention on the breath.

Like a butterfly landing on a flower,

A very soft and gentle focus,

Landing your attention on the breath and take a few deep breaths in through your nose and out the mouth.

With your exhales letting go of whatever happened a few moments ago,

Whatever might happen after this.

You're just allowing the breath to bring you a little bit more into your body and into this present moment.

You may have to do a couple of deep breaths to make that happen.

Using every breath as a bridge between your external world and your internal world.

And if your mind already wanders off,

Just gently invite yourself back with an inhale and an exhale.

And then just keep your awareness on your natural breath.

Notice the quality of your breath right now.

Is your breath shallow or is it deep?

Is it long or short?

Is it slow?

Is it quick?

Does it flow freely or do you feel like it's a little stuck somewhere?

Where do you feel your breath?

Is it in your chest,

Your ribcage,

Your belly,

Maybe in your throat or your nose?

Again there's no right or wrong or good or bad.

You're just observing and noticing your breath without any judgment.

Now start to make your breath more conscious.

Slow it down and deepen your breath.

It's your without forcing it.

Just inviting the breath to become slower,

Longer,

Fuller.

Expanding your belly,

Your ribs,

Your chest on the inhale and feeling everything relax and contract back to center on the exhale.

So let your belly be soft,

Your abdominals relax as you inhale,

Expanding and on an exhale,

Relaxing,

Releasing.

Just slowly deepening the breath every round a little more.

And continue like that.

While it may feel like there are so many things happening in the world that are completely out of our control,

The breath is something you do have control over.

You can control and manipulate your breath.

You can use it as a tool to calm down,

To concentrate,

To focus,

To soothe your nervous system.

Just by consciously slowing down and deepening your breath,

You can down regulate your nervous system.

You can switch from a fight or flight mode to a more calm and relaxed state which we call rest and digest mode.

Now let go of any control over your breath and just let the breath return to a natural easy rhythm.

And bring your attention into your body.

Notice how your body feels right now.

What sensations are present in your body?

Which body parts may need a little bit of attention?

Just noticing without self-criticism or judgment.

You are just observing whatever is present.

And then shift your attention to your mind and notice how busy it is upstairs in your mind right now.

What thoughts are present?

Notice the quality of your mind.

Even without self-criticism or judgment,

Just noticing those thoughts.

And then place one hand or both hands on your chest,

On your heart space,

Right at the center of your chest.

And just take a moment to connect and to check in with your heart.

That good old friend that is always there,

Always welcoming.

Send your breath there,

Breathing into your heart,

Allowing it to expand and to soften,

Inviting a sense of openness and compassion.

You can even imagine your heart breathing in and out.

So with your hand on your heart,

Maybe you can even hear or feel your own heartbeat.

Start to notice any feelings,

Any emotions that are present in your heart right now.

Maybe there's something that is challenging you or a heavy or tense or tight feeling.

Maybe your heart feels light and joyful.

You simply notice and invite a sense of kindness and compassion towards yourself by sending your breath there.

It is in the heart where only joy,

Peace and pure,

Authentic,

Genuine and unconditional love exist.

Whenever we are in this place,

Whenever we are connected to our heart,

We are the best version of ourselves,

Unencumbered by our thoughts,

Worries,

Fears and judgments.

It's the place of all your wisdom,

All your love and confidence in life itself.

Now I want you to place yourself right in front of you.

See yourself standing right in front of you and look at yourself.

Smile at yourself.

Notice all the things that you love about yourself,

Your skills,

Your talents,

Your personalities,

Your kindness and goodness,

Your humor,

The way you are with yourself and the way you are with others.

See all the things that you love within you.

Now slowly start to walk towards yourself,

Opening your arms and placing both arms around yourself and give yourself a big hug.

Give yourself all the love that you can,

Pour it into yourself.

You are the most important thing right now in this moment.

All the love you have,

See it melt into yourself and allow yourself to receive it.

Giving that hug and silently whisper to yourself,

I see you,

I love you and I'm here for you.

I know that you're doing the best you can.

May you be happy.

May you be healthy.

May you be at peace and free of suffering.

May you walk through life with ease and grace and an open heart.

Stay in that hug for another moment.

Slowly feel yourself heart to heart with yourself.

Take a deep breath in and sigh it out.

And deep breath in and deep breath out.

With every inhale receiving all the love and compassion from yourself and with every exhale offering it back freely.

Notice how are you feeling now in your body,

In your heart and in your mind.

As you fill up with the love and loving kindness,

Remember that you are doing your best,

The best you can and so is everyone else.

Take in a deep breath and exhale it out.

What we give we get back in return to our self as well as to the world.

Bring your awareness to your heart.

Notice how your heart feels.

Notice how your breath feels.

Notice how your mind feels.

Bring one final deep breath in through the heart and a long slow exhale out the mouth.

And then slowly bring your awareness back into your space.

Start to notice any sounds or noises around you.

Any smells or tastes or textures.

Slowly coming back into your room.

And then place one or both hands one more time onto your heart center.

Just take a moment to become very,

Very still so that you can hear and feel your own heart beating in your chest.

May I and all beings be free from suffering.

May I and all beings be safe,

Healthy and happy.

And may my love for myself and for others flow freely.

Take one more deep breath in and deep breath out.

And then just slowly allow your eyes to open.

Draw your palms together at your heart center.

And if you like,

Maybe take a moment here to think about how you can take this practice of self-compassion into the rest of your day,

Into your life so that you can be more kind to yourself as you move through your days.

I thank you very much for joining me today.

I hope this was helpful and I look forward to practicing with you again.

Namaste.