How To Create Relationships That Thrive Versus Just Survive

What are the keys to long-lasting relationships that work? Michaiel explores many of the forgotten ingredients that allow relationships to grow together versus grow apart. We each seek and search for loving relationships with our friends and a special partner to share the joy of life. Discover the many benefits of loving relationships as well as the seven common challenges and how to overcome them to allow your relationships to thrive. Then practice the seven steps to transform your relationships from surviving into thriving.

Please note: This track may include some explicit language.

Transcript

Again,

I'm Mikael and I'm the founder of Solutions and today we're going to talk about relationships that thrive versus just survive.

You know,

It's unavoidable to be human and to be in this physical reality and to not be in relationship.

We have,

And so many of you understand,

That in my teachings I talk often about your relationship with your emotions,

Your relationship with other people,

Your relationship to your ego,

Your relationship to your soul and spirit,

Your relation.

.

.

So there are thousands of relationships that you have,

From the environment that you live in to the relationship with your friends and your family,

To the relationships with colleagues and neighbors and coworkers.

There's hundreds of relationships that you're dealing with.

And the common denominator is you.

You are the core of all of your relationships and it is the only relationship that you'll ever have that is permanent.

All of the relationships are temporal,

Temporary,

Except for your relationship with yourself,

With your soul and spirit,

And thus with God,

God is all that is.

And so understanding yourself and your relationship yourself with yourself is the foundation for taking your power back from having given away your power in other relationships is to understand,

Okay,

I'm the common denominator here.

I want you to understand the dynamic of relationships because this can really help you to change and improve your relationships and also to take your power back and to be in a position of empowerment,

Which is so much of what I teach people to do.

There is a synergy.

Synergy is a wholeness,

A oneness.

Synergy is the two different parts that come together to create a synergy,

Meaning that there's a third energy that is created,

Meaning there is you,

You know that,

You understand that,

There's the other person,

And then there's the energy between.

And so any relationship that's going to thrive,

It's about being conscious,

Being understanding and conscious of the dynamic of what you bring into that energy between,

Because what you bring into the energy between is what that person is going to gather and connect and respond to.

And so it's this invisible,

Mysterious force that's called the relationship.

If you notice,

All of metaphysics,

Whether you're a new student or well-seasoned in metaphysics,

All metaphysics is the energy between,

It's the invisible,

It's the unseen,

It's the meta,

Meaning beyond the physical.

Your consciousness,

Your mind is metaphysical.

You can't show me your attitudes,

You can't show me how much does this belief weigh and how big is it.

How about your thoughts?

Can you contain them and send them to me?

Can I hold your thoughts?

Can I measure it from the five physical senses?

No,

I can see the expression of your thoughts through your physical body.

And sometimes I can feel your thoughts when I have a sense of empathy and connection and rapport,

But everything that's metaphysical is beyond the physical.

In relationships,

There is a magic that is held in the energy between.

And that's why you desire and yearn for that connection.

So today we're going to explore the benefits of changing and healing your relationships from taking responsibility and understanding what you can do.

You don't have to wait for the other person,

You don't have to wait for somebody to come along and make it work for you,

You can do it yourself.

You can begin to shift and change how you relate to yourself and other people.

And then what are the keys to unlock your heart?

What are the keys to deepen compassion?

What are the keys for you to let yourself become more connected,

Meaning more intimate with all of your relationships,

Especially with the relationship with yourself?

It all begins from the core.

You cannot love others unless you love yourself.

You cannot give something away you don't have.

So understanding and shifting the relationship with yourself and making that a priority is often the missing key for so many who say,

No,

Okay,

I'll love myself once I get a relationship.

I'll care about myself,

I'll take better care of myself once I get a relationship.

Putting the cart before the horse.

And we need to focus on the one relationship that's eternal.

And then to look at what you contribute,

What you bring,

And what are the challenges that many people face when it comes to creating relationships that thrive versus just survive.

And then we're going to talk about what are the steps to getting there.

What are the steps to creating relationships that thrive?

And then some techniques.

So we've got a lot of material to cover.

So normally I'll spend a lot of time on here saying hello to people,

But I'm going to dive into the material sooner than later so I can cover it all.

As you all know,

I tend to go pretty fast when I'm sharing these ideas.

And I encourage you to take notes if you feel up to that.

But for now,

Why are relationships important?

What are the benefits of being in a relationship that's thriving versus just surviving?

When you understand the keys to making and creating relationships that work,

That work for you,

That work for your beliefs,

Your attitudes,

Your thoughts,

Your feelings,

That work for your lifestyle,

To create and attract somebody in your life that is there to love and support you for who you are,

And more importantly,

For who you are becoming.

To support your growth,

To support you in becoming more of who you are is what you're seeking and desiring.

As some of you know,

I've talked about some of the things that we desire on a soul level.

And one of those components,

Out of five different components,

Is that you seek and yearn for fulfilling relationships with,

And also growth-oriented friends.

You want fulfilling,

Intimate relationships and growth-oriented friendships.

That's one of the things you desire on a soul level,

Because those relationships can become a mirror to reflect so much.

They give you the opportunity to put your love into action,

To put your compassion into practice and to function from a higher octave,

Beyond the ego,

The higher octave of your truer self.

So the benefits of changing and healing your relationships,

Allowing them to thrive versus survive is that they bring a sense of aliveness into your life.

There is a light and substance.

There's an aliveness.

And you know what I'm talking about.

And you see it on television all the time.

When somebody falls in love,

Or they have their first puppy love,

And people,

Without them knowing what's going on,

Will say,

You have this glow about you.

You just have this love.

Are you in love?

Because it changes your radiance.

It changes your presence.

It changes your state of being.

And you feel more alive,

More connected,

Because your soul and spirit is connecting on a level with another soul and spirit.

And those two energies create a third energy of aliveness.

You also benefit from experiencing being accepted.

Aliveness is something that thriving relationships offer you.

To be known,

To be aware,

And to be accepted for who you are.

The good parts,

And the not so pretty parts.

The loving spiritual being that you are,

And also the wounded ego that you are.

To be able to heal those parts.

To be able to be accepted for who you are.

It also,

It allows for the dance.

The benefit of being in a loving relationship,

It allows for the dance of individuality and commonality.

To be yourself,

And also to find the uniqueness within you that is common within the other person.

And a relationship that thrives does not mean somebody's going to have 100% commonality with you.

They like the same music,

They like the same food,

They like the same this,

They like the same that.

No,

That would get boring after a while.

But you appreciate their individuality.

Your partner,

Your loved one,

Your intimate connection might love baseball and you can't stand it.

That's okay.

You give them the permission to have their individuality,

To be themselves,

And also to discover the commonality.

There's a dance that,

Because of that dance,

Allows for you to accept them and yourself,

And it allows this aliveness within you to expand.

What it offers you is to rejoice in their presence,

To share common experiences.

You know,

It's wonderful to travel and go to magnificent places with yourself or with strangers in a tour group,

But to be there with a special loved one,

To share that sunset,

To share those pyramids rising and the sun rising in the morning,

Rather than being all alone by yourself,

It offers you the rejoice,

To be in the joy,

To go back to the joy of remembering the value of their presence.

And also for you to be rejoiced,

For you to be rejoiced,

To go back and to spark a joy of your presence,

Of you being there for them.

And that's one of the benefits.

The fifth benefit is it offers you relationships that thrive,

Relationships that work,

Offers you a sense of greater wholeness and oneness.

It taps you into a connection of something greater within yourself.

As you often know,

I talk a lot about the masculine and feminine energy,

Because those are the links and the bridges.

The feminine is linked to your soul,

The masculine is linked to your spirit.

And likewise,

Your soul connected to the goddess,

Your spirit connected to God.

And in that synergy is a oneness,

A wholeness.

And in a relationship,

It offers you a way to deepen and connect with that oneness and wholeness within yourself.

It offers you the magic of synergy,

Which is the sixth benefit.

In a relationship,

When two or more come together,

There is a third energy that is created,

And it is more powerful than either of its components.

That's what I was talking about previously,

About the relationship being more powerful than the two people that make it up.

There's you,

There's the other person,

And there's the energy between,

Which is the glue,

Which is this synergy,

Which is more powerful than either of its components.

That's why you often hear about people being stuck in a relationship,

It's dysfunctional.

I'm just stuck in this relationship because the energy between is holding them,

And I'm afraid and it takes effort to pull myself out of the resonance and to create all that chaos,

Which will emerge.

So people know of the power,

Whether they put words to it or not,

But it is the magic of synergy,

Of togetherness.

And then finally,

It accelerates your spiritual growth.

It allows you,

Like I mentioned,

To put your love into action,

To be understanding,

To pay attention to detail,

To let yourself become a conduit of compassion,

And to allow yourself to learn about you and what you want and what matters in life.

So the seventh benefit is it allows an acceleration of your spiritual growth.

So from the aliveness,

To the acceptance,

To being accepted and giving acceptance,

Feeling accepted,

To individuality and commonality,

To rejoicing in their presence,

To a sense of wholeness and oneness,

To the magic and synergy of togetherness,

To your spiritual acceleration is why you yearn for and desire intimate,

Loving relationships.

And that's what relationships that thrive bring to the table.

And that is the benefits of consciously creating relationships that thrive and to elevate and to heal and to change your current relationships that are just surviving.

It can open up the door for these experiences to be made,

To be felt,

And to be lived.

Why is it challenging to create loving,

Intimate relationships that thrive?

Why is it difficult and challenging for some people to create that?

And the first one is,

And which is common to all of us,

Is the pain of the past.

That it's challenging because I haven't healed and let go of the pain of my past.

And I have unfinished feelings that are in finished relationships.

This relationship has been finished and over with for years,

But I have unfinished feelings about it.

I have unfinished hurt.

I have unfinished disappointment.

I have unfinished depression.

I need to clear up and clean out,

To let go of that past,

To allow for a brighter,

More loving relationship in my future.

So the pain of the past is one reason that is challenging for some to create relationships that thrive rather than just survive.

The second reason is your ego's demand for perfection.

I want the perfect person.

The ego has this ideal.

You know,

You see it on these shows about the Bachelor and,

You know,

The Bachelorette and the Bachelor and all these things.

The perfect,

Perfect,

Perfect,

Perfect person.

Well,

Nobody's perfect.

And so you're doomed for failure if you hold onto Cinderella and Disney's version of love and what we've been taught and conditioned from the time we're little and we have a perfection,

A standard of perfection where nobody is good enough.

And guess what?

Neither are you.

And you know that.

Because the ideal for perfection is projected out onto other people,

But you also realize I'm not perfect.

And so I demand perfection of myself.

I got to be perfect in order to be loved.

I got to be perfect in order to be celebrated.

I got to be perfect in order to be connected and intimate with another.

And that's a belief that you hold.

It's a limiting belief that puts you into relationships that at best survive,

That at best we cohabitate.

We're roommates and call it lovers.

We're roommates and call it partners.

We're roommates and call it husband and wife.

But it needs to be healed in the conditioning and let go of the demand of your ego that holds out for the perfect person.

You meet somebody and you date somebody and they seem perfect in the first two,

Three,

Four months and all of a sudden you find a flaw.

Oh my gosh,

I don't like this about them and therefore,

Oh,

There must be somebody better who doesn't have that.

And you throw away what could have been a loving relationship.

And when you create that demand for others,

You also hold it of yourself.

And therefore,

When you demand being perfect,

You perform.

You put up a shield.

You put up a world's disguise.

This is who I am and it's exhausting to be around the person all the time because I'm performing.

I'm not being real.

That's what the demand perfection does.

It keeps you in that fake place where I'm trying to project being perfect like in Southern California somebody mentioned.

The third reason why it's difficult is low self-esteem and a feeling that is caused by low self-esteem that is called undeserving.

I have low self-esteem.

I have low opinion about myself.

I don't value the way I function in life.

And maybe it's because you need to create some principles.

Maybe it's true that I do function being critical and being hostile and being judgmental and being bitter and being resentful and being,

You know,

Always focusing on the negative.

And if I am that way,

I can change it.

I can lift it to a higher octave.

I can develop self-esteem,

Which is the love that you earn by the way you live your life.

Self-esteem is the way you appraise,

You evaluate,

And it connects so deeply with your self-image.

The image of you being worthy to be loved.

There are four components that is the foundation of self-esteem.

There's actually about 15,

But four that are the foundation.

A foundation is always four sections.

You know,

A table has four legs.

You need a foundation.

The house has four sides.

The foundation.

And that is the first foundation of self-esteem is honesty.

Being honest with myself.

What do I want?

What are my desires?

Who am I?

Being honest with myself and with others is the first.

The second is responsibility.

Being willing to respond rather than react.

To respond,

To think,

To feel,

And take responsibility.

What am I contributing to this relationship?

Why am I attracting and creating?

What can I learn about?

Let me take responsibility for that becoming part of my experience.

The second component that builds and fosters and strengthens your self-esteem and thus your deservability.

The third one is integrity.

To being integral,

To making space within you for both the feminine and the masculine to have integrity is to let all the parts function as one.

Integrity is also a spontaneous responsibility.

To automatically take responsibility,

But it's also where the parts of me,

The creator in me and the destroyer of me are in harmony.

The seeker of love,

The seeker of truth.

Components of self that appear to be opposite.

The warrior and the nurturer.

And most people choose one or the other.

I'll be the nurturer.

Ooh,

The warrior's bad.

Or I'll be the warrior and the nurturers are weak people.

You see,

There's not a lack of integrity because everyone has a warrior and a nurturer.

If you choose one over the other,

Then you're out of balance.

So integrity is owning all parts of yourself.

That's the third component of self-esteem.

And the fourth is trust.

Trusting yourself,

Trusting others,

Trusting life,

Trusting your soul.

Trust.

So when you have honesty,

Responsibility,

Integrity and trust as a foundation for the way you function day in and day out,

You develop a sense of worthiness and a sense of deservability.

Because nobody can make you do those things.

That's why it's called self-generated.

Self-esteem.

Nobody can force you to appraise yourself.

Nobody can force you to be honest,

Responsible,

Integral and trusting.

And likewise,

No one can stop you from it.

You can be locked up in prison and still function with high self-esteem.

It's self-generated value.

And a person who lacks that feels unworthy,

Feels undeserving to be loved.

So that's the third component of the challenge to create relationships that thrive versus just survive.

The fourth one is a fear into being afraid and fearful of connection,

Of intimacy with its vulnerability.

The fear of connection.

I feel isolated.

The ego feels separate,

Alone,

And has identified with itself.

So much so that people become fiercely independent.

I don't need anybody.

I'm totally independent.

I can take care of myself.

I don't need anybody.

I'm totally independent.

See,

Haven't I?

When I was younger,

I was totally dependent.

And yes,

We all start out being totally dependent.

And people grow and the ego thinks the goal is to be independent.

And there's a part of that that is true.

You need to move beyond dependency to become independent.

And then,

In order for relationships to thrive,

You need to choose to become interdependent by choice.

I'm independent and I choose to rely upon another.

I choose to count upon them.

I choose to lean.

Not because I'm weak,

But because I'm strong.

And because the person I've created in my life is also strong.

And there are times when they lean on me and I lean on them and we are interdependent on each other to co-create a reality worth living.

Interdependence is the balance in the goal.

Not fiercely independent to the point where you refuse loving relationships.

Oh,

That appears to be weak if I have a relationship.

I'm not independent.

I look weak.

No,

You're not.

Because you have the magic and the synergy.

You have the aliveness,

The rejoicing,

The presence.

You have the wholeness.

You have the togetherness.

You have the acceptance.

You have the individuality,

Commonality.

And you have that acceleration of your spiritual growth.

It is not a weakness.

It is a strength.

The fourth is a fear of connection,

Intimacy,

And vulnerability.

To let yourself be vulnerable.

To expose your weaknesses.

To expose the parts of you with compassion,

With love.

And here's the bigger challenge for most people.

It's also vulnerable to expose your strength.

To expose your beauty and your goodness.

To expose the majestic spiritual being that you are.

That is vulnerable.

That is vulnerable.

And so this fourth component is the fear of connection.

Build a wall up.

Be fiercely independent so I don't have to,

I don't want to depend upon anybody.

Boy,

That's free.

And I'm very lonely in this prison I've created.

I need to let that down.

And I need to choose,

Yes,

I'm independent and I choose to become and to rely upon and lean upon and depend upon,

Hear that,

Depend upon another who loves me.

That's the goal.

And that's also the challenge.

The fourth component of the challenges of thriving in your relationship.

In your relationships,

Whether they're intimate friends or an intimate sexual partner,

Whether it's a husband,

A wife,

A husband,

Husband,

A wife,

Wife,

Whatever sexual partner that you connect with,

It's about deepening all of your relationships by being more present and being willing to connect and be vulnerable.

And that scares the ego more than anything.

Scares the ego more than anything.

So that is the fourth component.

The fifth component is clinging to chauvinistic standards.

Now what does that mean,

Mikael?

Clinging to chauvinistic standards.

It means a couple things.

Just to understand the differences here,

Most women,

Most females are conscious of feminine energy.

That's their nature,

That's their energy.

But they also have masculine energy,

But often they are seeking it outside of them,

Not within themselves.

But most,

The feminine energy and masculine energy,

When they're in a relationship,

The feminine and the masculine,

The feminine is on the chauvinistic standards is who do you want me to be?

Who do you want me to be?

And I'll dress up and I'll change my look and I'll change my hair and I'll change the style and I'll change my clothes.

Who do you want me to be?

And I'm willing to be flexible and fluid on whom I want to be.

Who do you want me to be,

The man?

And the man says,

What do you want me to do?

And sometimes the woman just wants the man to be present.

Sometimes the woman just wants the man to be there to listen.

Sometimes the woman just wants the man to be there,

To be compassionate without trying to fix,

Without trying to do anything,

Just be present.

And that becomes a chauvinistic standard of what do I have to do and I've got to go fix them.

And I feel like if I'm not doing something,

I'm not valuable because the masculinity doesn't see the value in the feminine of being present,

Of being there,

Of being available,

Of being heard.

And so there's this conflict in consciousness and it's like the chauvinistic standards also of masculine superiority and feminine inferiority,

Which is a chauvinistic twist that has keeps people from feeling and connecting and being whole and present.

When you elevate the masculine as better than the superior and you demigrate the feminine,

You are out of balance within your nature and all of your relationships will struggle to some degree because the masculine and feminine need to work together.

They're different,

They're unique,

And they're valuable,

Equally valuable.

But in a world that says,

No,

Women get paid less and men get paid more,

Women are not as valuable as men is the message there and that's just not true.

And luckily that's starting to come to consciousness and people are starting to take their power back and it is shifting and changing.

And unfortunately back in the 70s and 80s there's a women's movement,

The women's movement,

Right?

Gloria Steinem,

We want to be powerful,

Women want their power,

Take their power back,

We want to be powerful.

But the problem with that is they didn't see feminine energies being powerful.

So they said,

Men said,

Okay,

You can be powerful,

But you can't be feminine.

You have to become like one of the men,

You have to dress like the men,

Get your power purse,

Get out there and have your power tie,

Go out there and fight the crowd and be like a man and give up your femininity when the truth is your feminine energy is your power.

The power to create,

Give birth,

The power of passion and connection,

The power of intuition,

The power of feeling,

All that power denied,

Repressed,

Judged,

And try to be like the men.

And it unfortunately,

It brought it to the attention,

It brought it to the awareness.

I'm not saying there was no good that came from it,

But the idea was in order to be powerful,

We have to be like the men,

Not seeing the power within the feminine itself.

So in so many ways,

Judging their own nature and trying to be like the men,

To be equal,

Equal being the same,

Not equal being different and equally valuable.

The masculine energy wants the woman to take action and come up with their own solutions and be themselves and be unique,

Not submissive to what they want.

Who do you want to feel?

What do you want to express yourself like?

Not trying to please the man,

But to be and express yourself,

Your uniqueness,

Your individuality,

The different faces of feminine energy,

The faces of the goddess,

The maiden,

The mother,

The crone,

To be able to embody that.

I think that was one of the things that I really admired in the eighties about Madonna because she allowed herself to be whatever she felt like.

She let herself be all these different expressions of herself,

And certainly there was marketing woven into that,

But primarily she had the guts to not care what other people think.

And she came and expressed the maiden,

She expressed the whore,

The different faces of consciousness,

She expressed the mother and the spiritual being,

You know,

She expressed all the feminine energy in a way that was dignified to some degree.

She owned it and she held onto her dignity and her right to be who she wanted to be in this present moment and be willing to be different and to change and to express herself differently.

Anyways,

That was the fifth chauvinistic standard.

The sixth one is afraid of losing yourself.

Afraid of losing.

A relationship,

Oh,

Mikael,

A relationship means I have to give up.

I have to give away,

I have to give in all the time,

Or I have to constantly exchange.

But giving is seen as a chore.

It's seen as something I give up,

I deplete myself.

If I give so much love,

I'm exhausted.

If I give and I perform and I'm fake,

Then yeah,

It is exhausting.

But when you're giving of your authenticity,

When you're giving of who you are,

This loving being,

When you give of your compassion and your passion,

Your creativity,

Your insights,

Your intuition,

Your wisdom,

When you give of yourself,

Giving of,

Not giving up or giving away or giving in or,

But giving of is the key.

But people have an idea,

A twisted idea that they're going to lose themselves because often that's what women have had to do.

You know,

The father gives the woman away to another man so that now she's under his,

You know,

Jurisdiction,

The old paradigm.

And giving up her last name to become,

You know,

All those things are reflections of that.

It's not like it's bad and wrong.

I'm not saying it's bad and wrong.

I'm just saying that fear of losing yourself can be the challenge of allowing yourself to be in a relationship that thrives versus just survive.

And when you realize I don't have to give up or give away or give in all the time,

And there are times that you do those things.

There are times that you do.

It's not like those things are inherently bad,

But we have a negative attachment to it thinking I always have to do that.

And you always have choice.

The seventh challenge is the substitutes,

The substitutes for love,

Intimacy and caring.

You know,

Mikael,

I've been taught from my mother and my upbringing,

My grandmother and other people that caring means to worry.

I got to just worry about everybody,

Worry about my friends and worry about,

And it's depleting and it's exhausting.

Love is hard because to care means to worry.

That's not caring.

It's called worry.

There's two different words,

Caring,

Worry.

They're not the same thing,

But we've equated them because we've been taught and conditioned that's how they work.

But that's not what caring is.

Caring involves two steps.

The first step is to pay attention to the needs of someone or something,

Including yourself.

To pay attention to the needs.

And then secondly is to give in order to create greater security,

Greater pleasure,

To help that thing,

That person,

Yourself to grow,

To evolve,

To become more.

An act of caring is when you come home tonight and you notice your spider plant is drooping.

I paid attention.

I noticed it's drooping and I'm going to give it what?

Water.

When I give it water,

It's an act of caring because I'm giving it water to help it feel more secure and greater pleasure and to grow and become more.

And it's the same with you.

If you're in a loving relationship and people say,

Well,

I just did that because I care for you.

I just humiliated you in front of your friends because I care.

You can stop and say,

Time out.

How do you define caring?

I'm worried about you.

I'm always worried about you.

I'm just following up and trying and tracking every move you make because I'm worried.

That's not caring.

That's not a trust.

That's fear.

So caring is important.

And so the substitutes that we've been taught and conditioned can twist and distort and turn a thriving relationship into one that's barely surviving.

And of course,

I could go on for hours about the substitutes for love.

Love is to martyr.

Love is to suffer.

Love is to sacrifice.

Love is to give up and give away and surrender yourself to the point where you are nothing and nobody.

Love is to be in pain.

Love is difficult.

Love is challenged.

All the beliefs that are taught and conditioned from different belief systems,

From different religions,

From different ideologies.

But they're not love.

They're substitutes.

And when you discover the real love,

The love that comes from within you,

The love of your soul and spirit that is in an exhaustible supply,

Then giving of it never runs out.

And it becomes its own reward.

When I am loving from a part of me that's inexhaustible,

That wells up and I give this love that is close to being unconditional as I can manage and muster,

It feeds me.

It expands me.

It heals me as well as the other person.

It creates a bubble of magic and miracles.

That's the love that I'm talking about.

Not the twist of the substitutes that often chauvinism has been again the culprit.

And of course for intimacy.

There are lots of substitutes for intimacy.

People use all kinds of things.

The people I know,

I talk,

I name drop all the time.

You can see I'm using the currency,

The currency of intimacy.

See,

I want to feel connected to this person so I'm going to talk about all the great people that I know as a currency.

They're going to feel more connected to me.

Oh yeah,

Or the person that know it all.

Oh yeah,

I know what you're talking about.

I know what you're talking about.

I know what you're talking about.

Well,

You haven't even heard what I'm talking about before you're already admitting that you know it.

But I want to create this bond by being the know-it-all instead of listening and being present and sometimes disagreeing and sharing your viewpoint.

That's what intimacy is.

Intimacy isn't about always agreeing and giving up.

And one of the signals of a relationship that's genuine and that thrives and that is empowered is that if you're in a relationship that you never argue,

You never disagree,

You never have a difference of opinion,

Then it's a dysfunctional relationship.

Because relationships challenge you.

They challenge your shadow.

And if somebody's in a relationship that they know,

You know,

We've never argued in five years.

I've always had such a great relationship.

No,

It isn't.

Because someone's selling themselves out.

Someone's not being honest.

Someone is not being real.

Someone is submitting.

Somebody is giving up,

Giving in,

In order to avoid conflict.

A lot of people are so afraid of conflict.

Oh my gosh,

If I disagree,

They might leave.

Oh my gosh,

If I disagree.

Just because you disagree doesn't mean you make them wrong.

It just means you have a different opinion.

And to value yourself is to be that individual,

To hold on to your individuality,

And to seek the commonality.

Is that third benefit?

It's not about abandoning yourself.

So those are the seven common challenges to create a loving relationship that thrives as well.

So let's talk about how do you move out of relationships that are just barely surviving,

You know,

That barely has a pulse,

To a relationship that thrives.

The first step,

And you're not going to like this word,

But the first step is to surrender.

Now again,

Surrender does not mean to submit,

Meaning to submission,

To give up,

To abandon myself.

No.

Surrender is,

In this moment,

I'm going to let go of surrendering.

The first step is surrendering your ego's games.

The game of your ego that says,

Well,

In order to make love safe,

You've got to control the person.

It's actually the control that's causing the person to want to leave.

The ego's game that will always sabotage you and keep love at the end of your fingertips that can't quite reach it.

So let go of your ego's games of apathy and indifference.

Oh,

I don't care.

I don't need it.

I'm too old for a relationship.

I'm past that stage.

I don't want a relationship in my life.

Let go of the apathy of that.

Let go of control.

Let go of the arrogance that says I've got to be perfect or I can only love somebody who's perfect.

Let go of that arrogance.

Because yes,

It's easy to love the perfect,

Isn't it?

It's easy to love the beautiful things about yourself.

It's easy to love the beautiful things about other people.

And the challenge is to love the not so beautiful,

The weaknesses,

The ego,

The pain.

That's the part that needs more love.

The ego that says,

Oh,

No,

No,

I just will love the perfect.

And also the ego's games of the know-it-all.

Oh,

I know it all.

I got it all figured out.

I'm not going to really learn anything here.

I'll agree or disagree with Mikael,

But I'm not going to really change.

I know it all.

I've got it all figured out.

That's another ego game.

The ego game of the spiritual game the ego plays is,

Oh,

I'm detached.

I've risen above human relationships.

I've risen above.

And I don't want that.

That's just so plebeian.

It's so unspiritual.

I have a relationship with God.

I'm spiritual.

And that arrogance,

Again,

Is to realize that God,

God is all that is,

Is spirit,

Is soul.

And every human being has a spirit and soul.

So everyone around me is an expression and reflection of God.

God is all that is.

So my relationship with others is my spirituality.

And the ego says,

Oh,

No,

No,

I'm separate.

God is separate from me.

I'm going to get somewhere up there.

One day I'll get home.

And right now I'm going to bide my time being lonely and being down here separated from God when God is all around you.

It's in the plant kingdom,

The animal kingdom,

The mineral kingdom.

It's in other people.

And that's the challenge is to see the love and the beauty within life,

To see the divine in all that is.

So the first step is to surrender the ego's games.

The second step is to embrace humility.

To be having humility is willing to let it be different.

Have the humility to let it be different.

Have the humility not to project the past.

This person's always this way when I go out and have dinner with them.

This person,

This friend is always doing this.

This person is always,

It's projecting,

Projecting and blocking out and keeping the past alive.

When you can have humility that this today,

As I go out into public,

Today can be different.

I'm going to lift my vibration,

Change my attitude and open up to seeing the beauty in life and just see what changes in my reality.

How it can be different.

But it requires me to stop projecting the past,

Which is to embrace humility.

Let it be brand new as if looking through fresh eyes is the second step.

Just because you've gone out on five dates and they've all been duds,

This next date can be different.

I'm going to have the humility.

I'm not going to hold on to the past.

Even though the ego loves to do that and it's familiar and I can measure it and I know what to expect and I won't get disappointed.

Don't get your expectations up,

Unfortunately.

That keeps it from manifesting when you don't get your expectations up.

When you lower your expectations,

You lower your ability to manifest.

But that's besides the point.

You also feel hopeless and in despair and weak.

So expect it to be different.

Expect change.

And change yourself.

Change your vibration.

Look for the good.

Look for the beauty.

And you can begin there.

And watch how your reality changes.

Watch how reality shifts.

It's not just changing your attitude.

The actual people and events change.

So that's the second step.

The third step is to forgive past relationships.

To forgive past relationships.

To forgive those people who have hurt you,

That have rejected you,

Who have abandoned you,

Who have betrayed you,

That have hurt you in some way.

Whether you were rejected or betrayed or humiliated or abandoned,

Forgive.

Let go.

Make peace.

It goes back to the challenges that I mentioned about,

You know,

Unfinished emotions and finished relationships.

Well,

This is the step where you forgive and let go.

And if you're so angry at somebody from 20 years ago or 30 years ago,

Write them a hate letter.

Write them an anger letter.

I'm so pissed off at you.

But the intention is to get this anger and this resentment and bitterness out of you and onto paper.

To express it.

To write it.

To write it out.

Free flow.

Don't worry about sentence structure or spelling.

Just get it out of you.

I just want to get this energy out of me.

Because bitterness,

Anger,

Resentment.

Bitterness,

Anger,

And resentment corrodes the container it's held in.

Your body.

It corrodes the container your consciousness is held in.

So let go of it.

It's for your benefit.

And you can free yourself up to create a new space to allow for loving relationships that thrive.

That is the third step is forgiveness.

The fourth step.

Okay,

So the first three steps,

If you notice,

Is a seven-step process.

Surrender.

Embrace.

Forgive.

It's all about dealing with the past and being in the present moment.

Embracing your humility.

Things can be different.

To forgive and let go.

That creates the space.

And then the fourth step is to process what you want.

What do I want in a loving relationship?

I know what I don't want.

I don't want somebody like this.

I don't want somebody like that.

I don't want somebody like that.

But if that's what I'm focusing on,

That's what I'm going to see in other people.

That's what I'm going to attract.

However,

I can process.

Processing is a way to clear out the ego games.

To clear out the uncertainty.

To get your will into alignment.

Because magic is creating reality to align and to conform with your will.

But if your will is divided,

Then you're out of balance.

And that reality won't manifest.

But when your will is in alignment.

So as an example of this,

In this processing you can discover that,

You know what?

My inner child is needy and wanting to be given attention and paid attention to all the time.

Am I getting enough attention?

Am I getting enough love?

My adolescent is,

Am I good enough?

Am I good enough?

Am I good enough?

My teenager is,

Am I learning enough?

Doing enough?

Or is afraid of relationships,

The puppy love that hurt so bad when you were a teenager,

You fell in love with your teacher or your whoever.

That part of you that is wounded.

And here's three of them and here you are the grown up,

Right?

It's three against one.

I want a loving relationship.

I'm terrified.

I'm afraid.

I only want people to pay attention to me.

I'm self-important.

You've got to heal those parts of yourself to get into alignment.

And this processing technique can help you to clear out and get clearer.

Because when you're clear and you know what you want,

It can happen magically.

So how do you process?

This fourth step involves seven steps.

It's a journaling process.

I'm going to go through it very quickly.

First step,

What do I want?

Write it down.

Clarify it.

Write down what kind of relationship.

Not,

I don't want this kind of person.

I don't want this.

I don't want them to be a workaholic.

I don't want them to be an alcoholic.

I don't want them to be whatever.

But what do you want?

I want somebody who's trustworthy.

I want somebody who's loving.

I want somebody who's got a great sense of humor,

Who loves this kind of sport,

Who likes to do these different things,

Or loves to hike,

Or loves to travel.

I want to write it all down,

Get really clear.

Because then your subconscious mind will start to scan the horizon just like those yellow Jeeps to pull those people into your reality.

But if you're not clear on what you want,

If you only know what you don't want,

Which is I don't want superficial people,

That's all I'm focusing on.

That's all I'm going to see.

But if I can,

I want somebody who's authentic.

I want somebody who's connected.

I want somebody who's awake.

I want somebody who's alive and vibrant,

Who is compassionate and caring.

Whatever.

Write it out.

Write down.

The first step is writing,

What do I want?

Second step is,

Why do I want it?

This isn't trying to audition for God and saying,

Oh,

I want this to be able to heal the planet and do this.

God doesn't answer these questions and make it real for you.

You do.

Get real.

Why do I want this?

Because I don't want to be alone.

Because I want to feel the joy and the benefits of a loving relation.

I want to feel that acceptance,

That individuality,

That rejoicing,

The wholeness,

The oneness,

The togetherness.

I want that aliveness in my life.

I want that spark of magic that relationships can bring.

That's why I want a loving relationship in my life.

Second question,

Why?

Third question,

Most important one,

Why don't I want a loving relationship?

Because the truth is,

If you really wanted it,

You would have it.

So,

There's a part of you that doesn't want it.

If you can expose it and understand it and heal that part,

Take your power back,

You can get back into alignment.

So,

Why don't I want a loving relationship?

That can expose your limiting beliefs.

Oh,

Because love hurts and,

Oh,

Well,

Maybe I have a belief about that.

Oh,

It's because in the past,

Love leaves and love abandons me.

Well,

There's something that I have a belief that I can change to love lasts rather than love leaves.

I can change that so I can attract a different reality.

So,

Writing why don't I want it?

It's that third question in this fourth step of creating and manifesting a loving relationship that thrives.

The fourth question in the fourth step is then,

What is my image and my beliefs around having this?

Can I see myself,

Self-image,

Being in a loving relationship?

Can I see myself and can I imagine,

Can I believe it's possible for me?

Oh,

No,

No,

I can't believe it's possible because everybody down in Southern California are fake.

Okay,

If that's what you want to believe,

You can limit yourself that way.

And there are people who are fake everywhere.

Not like Southern California has a,

You know,

So my point is,

Is there are people fake everywhere.

But why am I attracting and creating?

What is that all about for me?

So,

The fourth question is,

Is my beliefs and my self-image open to having a loving relationship that thrives?

Or do I have an idea and an image of myself always struggling in relationships?

I kind of change that image.

I need to shift and change.

I need to see myself having what I want.

And I need to believe it's possible for me.

Because if I don't believe it's possible and if I can't see an image of it in my mind,

I won't attract and create it.

Fourth step.

Fifth,

In the processing questions,

Is what do I need to let go of?

Maybe I need to let go of my cynicism.

Maybe I need to let go of my hurt.

Maybe I need to let go of my disappointment.

Maybe I need to let go of my judgments.

Maybe I need to let go of my projections.

Maybe I need to let go of my undeserved ability.

Maybe I need to,

You know,

What do I need to let go of in order to create and manifest this?

And again,

You're asking your higher self.

You're connecting.

You're journaling.

And why it's important to write it out,

Not just to think about it,

Is because when you write down your thoughts,

You slow down your thinking.

And when you slow down your thinking,

You tap into your subconscious mind,

Which is connected to your unconscious mind and connected to your higher self.

So that could be the wisdom that can come through.

Oh yeah,

I need to really let go of this.

And I,

You know,

People have told me about this about myself,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah.

So we write that out.

What do I need to let go of?

Fifth question.

Sixth question is what do I need to embrace more of?

What do I need to embrace more?

I need to embrace more hope.

You know,

I've kind of lost hope when it comes to relationships.

I need to embrace more humility.

I need to be willing to let things be more new.

I've got to stop projecting and start embracing humility.

I need to embrace more confidence.

I need to embrace the idea that I'm desirable.

Maybe I've got an idea that I'm not desirable anymore.

I need to embrace a new idea.

I need to hold on to that esteem and that love,

That confidence.

So that's the sixth question is what do I need to embrace more of?

And finally,

The seventh question is what do I want?

The first question now,

After going through this and clarifying and understanding and taking your power back,

Forgiving,

Letting go,

Whatever you need to do to shift your image,

Shift your identity,

Then rewrite,

Not the exact same words,

But now it's going to be a little bit more clear.

You write down this is what I want and I'm willing to have it.

And that's the seventh.

So that's the fourth step in manifesting and attracting and creating relationships that thrive versus just survive.

The fifth step is similar to the third step.

Remember the third step was who do I need to forgive and let go of?

The fifth step is once you process through this and you realize I'm creating my reality and I've been holding back love and I've been afraid of love,

The fifth step is I need to forgive myself.

I need to forgive myself for my own projections,

For my own anger,

For my own judgments,

For my own poor me,

Self-pity,

I'll never have what I want.

All those things that have held me back from creating and allowing this into my life,

I need to forgive myself,

Fifth step.

Sixth step is be willing to be vulnerable,

To put yourself out there,

To be open,

To be connected and open,

Go out into the community.

Where can I meet people that would be in alignment with what I've written,

The type of relationship I want?

Perhaps if you like to go hiking,

Start going on hiking groups,

Whatever it is that you want to kind of be vulnerable,

Put yourself out there.

You know,

You're not going to just board yourself up inside your home and one day Prince Charming is going to knock on your door and sweep you off your feet.

You've got to be vulnerable,

You've got to take some kind of action to put yourself in motion,

To put love in motion,

To go ahead and be more vulnerable.

Put yourself out there,

Be open.

A friend wants to invite you to a party,

Be open to that as a possibility.

And then finally,

The final step of the seven steps is to then envision your future self,

Living,

Having,

And being in a relationship that thrives.

To open up to that future you that already has manifested it,

This future you that is living it and is joyful and is rejoicing and having all these wonderful adventures.

I'm going to create that resonance,

That energy.

And since that's the future I'm choosing to create versus the one where I'm still stuck and struggling,

That's a future out there too.

Which one am I going to choose?

I want to choose the one and I want to start to generate and feel the feelings as if I already have it.

That is the seven steps from letting go and surrendering your ego's games to embracing humility to forgiving past relationships to processing and getting clear on what you want,

Those seven questions you ask yourself.

The fifth step is forgiving yourself,

Be vulnerable,

Put yourself out there,

And envision you having what you want.

And that's the way to attract and create a relationship that thrives.

All right,

So let's talk about techniques.

What can you do to shift and lift your vibration,

To move out of the past into the future you want to create?

How can you move from relationships that just barely survive to shift and change into relationships that thrive?

First technique is to take some time to list and reflect your past relationships.

To delineate,

To take a notepad and look at what were my significant relationships in my childhood.

You know,

I was raised by my Aunt Mary and she,

You know,

My mother and dad were there but she was the one who took care of us like a nanny and I want to talk about that relationship.

Or I want to talk about what were the experiences about myself that I came up with about me relating to people that were significant and important in my childhood and in my adolescence.

You know,

From about 8,

9,

10 all the way to the teenage years and that time when your body's changing and you're feeling insecure and you're trying to figure yourself out and you're trying to,

You know,

Your hormones are kicking in and everything's like,

What is going on?

You know,

That time of total chaos and panic for most people in the adolescent stages.

Did I fall in love with a favorite teacher or a favorite person or my neighbor next door?

And you know,

Whatever.

Look at those relationships.

How do they end up?

To just do a review with an open heart,

With the intention of healing and bringing peace to the past.

I want to look at those and then look at my teenage years,

My first sexual experience.

I mean,

Look at,

You know,

My first partner,

My first lover,

My first,

You know,

Boyfriend,

Girlfriend,

Whatever.

Just to look at,

To take time to reflect and just look and see if there's a pattern.

What is the pattern there?

That's the way to begin to become conscious so that you can heal and change.

And you can ask for your help from your higher self and your soul.

But the first step is to know what is my pattern from the past and with an intention not to judge yourself,

Not to beat yourself up,

But to recognize,

To acknowledge that you've created this pattern on some level.

It's a lesson that you need to learn to forgive yourself and then to open up to change.

How can my life be different beyond,

Moving beyond this fear of rejection or moving beyond my fear of abandonment?

How can I see myself different?

So I want to review and just be conscious.

That's the first technique to help you lift your vibration.

Because as you let loose and you forgive,

You lift your vibration to a higher octave and then you attract a different reality.

The third,

Or the second step is,

Or not,

The second technique.

This one,

This is a way to expand your vulnerability.

And that is to select three very close,

Dear,

Trustworthy friends that you have.

Three people in your life that you have that you consider trustworthy,

That you love,

That you're in an intimate,

Close,

Connected relationship.

I'm not talking about a sexual relationship.

I'm talking about deep,

Close,

Related friends.

And you're going to send them an email or a text message or talk to them on the phone,

Whatever you're more convenient with.

And you're going to ask them,

Would you do me a favor?

I'm doing this experiment about being vulnerable.

And I want you to write down and be as honest as you can.

And I won't judge you and I won't hold this against you by any way.

But I want you to tell me and write down what you see,

What you perceive as three strengths that I have.

Three strengths that you admire within me.

Could you share those with me?

And also,

I want you to list three weaknesses you see.

Things that you see in me that kind of like,

Oh,

If only they wouldn't do this,

They would be much happier.

What are the weaknesses that you see and perceive within me?

And also,

Third question is to come up with three things that you find that is unique about me,

That is different than your other relationships with other people.

What do you admire and you find unique?

So you can ask all three of those questions.

You could ask the first two,

My strengths and weaknesses,

Depending on the person.

And you can also say at the end,

If you want me to do this for you,

I will be vulnerable enough to share that with you honestly,

With love,

With compassion,

Not with any judgment here.

And that is a way that you can learn some things about yourself.

I did that exercise,

Oh gosh,

Now it's probably been about five or six years ago.

And I emailed three close friends and asked those questions.

And I realized,

Wow,

All three of them had things that they admired and I had not even,

You know,

It's like this is just who I am.

I didn't really see it as a strength,

But they saw it as a strength.

And I was like,

Wow,

I guess that really is.

So it helped me to own and value that part that they were respecting from a distance.

They didn't really ever say,

But they did.

And to own that strength and to make it a part of who I am.

And also the weaknesses like,

Yeah,

Yeah,

I mean,

I do have these issues I got to look at and work on.

And I need to heal that or I need to change that.

And not to judge them because they're there to help you.

They love you.

And they're truly a friend who loves all of you.

That accepts your weaknesses and your strengths.

So that exercise can make that relationship closer.

And it also challenges you to be more vulnerable,

To be more real,

To be more authentic,

And to learn about yourself.

And that can deepen that one relationship.

And it can also help you to understand what makes you more valuable in the eyes of others.

So that is a technique that I just wanted to share,

Really important.

And then the next technique,

Third technique,

Is to practice for 24 hours,

Is to practice unconditional love for yourself.

To practice it,

Being conscious that tomorrow morning when I wake up until the next morning,

I'm going to,

Every time I see myself in the mirror,

Every time I have the thought,

I want it to be loving and supportive.

I'm going to do my best.

And I want help from my higher self and my soul to help me.

It will expose the critical mind in you.

But when you set an intention to be unconditionally loving towards yourself,

And then you go through your day,

You're going to be like,

Oh,

Wait a second,

That's not very loving.

Oh,

Yeah,

I was beating myself up about being late for that appointment.

That wasn't very loving.

You know,

You're going to start to notice how much or how little you criticize or you put yourself down.

And to go back to when you do it,

When you criticize yourself,

Stop and say,

I forgive myself.

I am worth loving.

I forgive myself.

I'm valuable.

I forgive myself.

I'm desirable.

Whatever the words are,

But I need to forgive myself.

Cancel,

Cancel that thought.

I'm not going to hold on to it.

I'm not going to judge myself.

Take your power back and replace it with a loving thought.

And you do that for yourself,

With yourself for 24 hours.

The second step in this third technique is then you do it for somebody you love.

That is your close,

Perhaps it's your husband,

Your wife,

Your partner.

Perhaps it is your best friend.

Perhaps it is your sister or your brother that you're very close with,

But you will that you spend time with in the next 24 hours.

I just want to every time I think of them,

Every time we talk,

Every time we engage,

I want to just focus on being unconditionally loving to stretch myself.

And if I find myself judging them in my mind,

Again,

Forgive myself,

Recognizing knowledge,

Forgive.

But to open up that door of unconditional love can be very,

Very powerful and be very,

Very powerful in the process of letting more love into your life.

The fourth technique is to go into a meditation and to,

If you have a place you go to in your mind in your meditations,

I have a safe place that I created in my mind 40 years ago when I first started to meditate.

And in that place in my mind,

My imagination now,

The minute I start to visualize and imagine that I go right into meditation very quickly.

So if you haven't created a safe place,

I recommend doing that in your mind.

But either way,

If you've never done that,

Just imagine a beautiful place in nature and listen to what feels right to you.

If it's the beach,

You know,

By the ocean,

If it's high up in the mountains in a little cabin,

If it's down by a rolling river and stream,

You know,

Wherever it is in nature somewhere that just draws your attention,

That makes you feel at home,

That feeds your soul.

So you go into a meditation and you go into that place,

That space,

And you find a place to heal.

There's a little cove over here next to the waterfall that I'm going to,

There's a big bed of grass.

I'm going to lay there and this is going to be my place to heal my relationships,

To heal the pain of the past.

I'm just going to go there with that intention as I go to sleep at night.

I set the intention,

I want my soul,

My spirit,

My higher self to help heal so that I can attract and create relationships that thrive.

Or I can change this relationship that's just surviving into one that is thriving.

I want to heal what stands in the way.

I don't need to know what it is,

But I want to heal.

I go to sleep at night,

I imagine that little space and you lie down and you ask for the healing and you go to sleep and let the magic happen.

And do that for seven days in a row,

Seven nights in a row,

Just going there with the intention of healing.

And your subconscious mind,

As you start to visualize the same place,

You don't want to switch around the places so they get confused,

But you imagine,

Yes,

I'm going to this beautiful beach and it has a beautiful towel spread out and under an umbrella.

I can smell the salt air and I'm just going to lay there.

Or I'm laying in the sun and feel the warmth healing and absorbing and energizing my consciousness with the intention of healing and releasing what stands in the way and with healing and allowing relationships to work.

Seven days in a row,

Same place so your subconscious mind doesn't get confused.

Set the intention,

Ask for help,

Ask for healing from your soul and spirit,

And then just go to sleep.

It doesn't have to take more than five minutes before you go to sleep to do that.

Seven days in a row,

That is another technique that can shift and lift your vibration.

The final technique is to process any repressed emotion.

To process any repressed emotion.

You see,

The best way to process emotion is to let go of your judgments of them.

A lot of people have a judgment that,

You know,

Certain emotions are good and certain ones are bad.

Certain people are good,

Certain people are bad.

But they have this good and bad,

This judgment of your emotions.

If I were to ask you what are five positive emotions,

You'd be saying love,

Joy,

Peace,

Understanding,

You know,

Enthusiasm.

If I ask you what were five negative emotions,

You'd say guilt,

Shame,

Fear,

Anger,

Pain.

But we judge them and we separate them.

Judgments separate you from feeling and experiencing them.

So to allow yourself to deepen your emotional nature will shift and lift your vibration.

So let go of your judgments about your emotions.

And yes,

If you're angry,

The most positive thing you can do is to be real,

Is to be honest,

Is to admit I'm angry.

And feel the anger.

And squeeze out the energy,

Your life force trapped in that anger.

Squeeze it out by feeling it,

Expressing it,

And then letting it go,

Releasing it through forgiveness.

And any emotion that is a positive emotion,

It's all about your relationship to that emotion.

And any emotion,

Whether you label it positive or negative,

Any emotion that is genuinely positive is any emotion I'm willing to pay attention to,

To seek to understand,

To feel,

And to express and release and let go of.

Even love,

I need to pay attention.

I need to understand it.

I need to feel it.

And then I need to express it and let it go.

Love needs to flow.

Emotions need to flow.

Anger,

The same thing.

Fear,

The same thing.

So it's not the label that makes your emotions positive or negative.

It's my relationship to my emotions.

So likewise,

Any emotion that I ignore,

That I deny,

That I repress,

Depress,

Hear that word,

Depression,

Depress,

And refuse to feel,

Is destructive.

Even compassion,

Even joy,

Even love that I ignore,

Deny,

Refuse to feel,

Stagnates.

It's energy,

Folks.

And I need to shift my relationship to my emotional nature.

And as I do,

I can clear out and take back the life force that is trapped inside my anger that I've judged.

Oh no,

I'm spiritual.

I'm not angry.

I'm just bitter and resentful.

That's anger.

Depression,

Often anger that I don't deal with.

So I need to feel and express and own and squeeze the energy and release the emotion.

And I have more energy and more life force within me.

And I lift my vibration to a higher octave,

To a higher frequency.

You change your state of being by shifting your relationship,

By letting go of the judgments and understanding that all emotion is there to be felt,

Understood,

Expressed,

Released,

And let go of.

And that's the way to quickly develop emotional intelligence,

By understanding and letting go of the judgments and knowing that as long as you're human,

You're going to feel from time to time,

You're going to feel those emotions of anger or hurt or guilt.

And they're not bad and wrong in and of themselves.

But if I ignore and deny them,

Just like the love I ignore and deny,

It will become negative and destructive in myself.

I hope that makes sense for some of you.

And I know I talk a lot about that in many of my classes because it's so important and it's so valuable.

And it's not hard to do.

You can write about you and your anger and you and your disappointment.

You can take a journal pad,

Write and express it.

It's important to write and slow down your thinking as you're writing it out.

You can write that anger letter.

You don't send it to anybody.

It's not about them getting it.

It's not about convincing their ego that they're wrong.

It's about you releasing and expressing the energy and then tearing it up and burning it.

And then you're just writing a paper,

Letting it go,

Forgiving yourself,

Forgiving them and being done.

And that is the fifth technique that will create a resonance that will open you to greater humility,

Greater acceptance and open and welcome a loving,

Thriving relationship so that you can experience that magic of synergy,

That wholeness,

That rejoicing in the presence,

That individuality,

Commonality,

The acceptance and the aliveness that you deep down yearn for and desire.

And so this is today's class.

I hope you got some value from it.

And I want you to continue thinking and feeling and opening up because you are a powerful spiritual being.

And so much of what I teach for people is not what to do but how to remember who you are,

To let go of the identity of the limited ego self,

To move beyond it into something grander and greater,

To retrieve the power you've given away or perhaps even lost,

To let yourself be free,

Free to fulfill the destiny that you desire,

One that is overflowing with joy,

Love,

Laughter,

Celebration,

Peace,

Prosperity,

All the things that you is your birthright as a spiritual being.

Reviews

I get so much from your talks. Thank you thank you thank you 🙏💗🙏💗🙏💗