If you've been feeling exhausted during the day but then wired the moment that you get into bed to sleep,
I want you to know that this pattern makes complete sense once you understand what's actually driving it.
It's not a sleep problem and it's not a sign that something is permanently wrong with you.
It's simply a sign that your nervous system is trying to get your attention and that your body is wanting to rebalance.
Your nervous system find its way back to its natural rhythm where you have energy during the day and where sleep comes easily at night.
My name is Meredith Loudon.
I'm a sleep coach and I used to have insomnia.
I struggled with my sleep for 16 years before finally finding my way through it and everything I share in this video was key to getting there.
So get comfortable and let's walk through it together.
Shift number one is to understand why your body is doing this.
Because most people have been trying to fix the wrong thing entirely,
And you can't fix a pattern that you don't understand.
Cortisol is your body's stress hormone,
And it's supposed to be high in the morning because that is what gives you the energy and the motivation to get up and get going.
And then it should gradually drop throughout the day,
Reaching its lowest point at night so that your body can finally relax and go to sleep.
And here's the thing about chronic stress that most people don't realize.
It doesn't always feel like stress.
It doesn't have to be a dramatic life crisis or a traumatic event.
For so many people,
It's much more subtle than that.
It's the constant busyness.
The never-ending to-do list,
The always being on,
The over-training,
Over-exercising,
The inability to truly switch off even when you're technically free to chill and relax and don't have anything going on.
It's that low-grade pressure of modern life that's just become so normal that you stop noticing it.
Your body has been quietly running in stress mode for so long that it just feels like your personality,
Just like the way that life is and like that's who you are.
But your body notices even when you consciously don't.
Because when your body has been in a state of stress for too long without you realizing it,
Your cortisol has been elevated above what your body considers its natural balance.
And your body is constantly burning through its resources trying to keep up.
So by the time morning comes,
Your cortisol is now depleted.
It's like it has nothing left to give,
Which is why you wake up and get out of bed feeling exhausted and unrested.
Your cortisol should be rising in the morning to energize you,
But it's already been used up.
Job.
So then throughout the day you feel drained and exhausted,
Brain fog,
Like you're running on empty and trying to push through.
And then as the day goes on,
The body tries to compensate and cortisol starts rising again in the evening,
But that's exactly when it should be dropping.
So this is what's creating that wired feeling and that second wind around 9 to 10 p.
M.
Right when you should be getting sleepy and going to bed.
Now,
There's also another layer to this that most people never take into consideration,
Which is also why most sleep advice is pretty useless for those with chronic sleep trouble.
That flipped cortisol rhythm is only part of the story.
The constant busyness and the pressure that you've been putting on yourself during the day has actually trained your nervous system to believe that the only way to survive is to be on high alert constantly.
And when that's been your normal for long enough,
Your brain stops recognizing relaxation as safe.
Relaxing has become unfamiliar,
And your brain always gravitates towards what's most familiar.
So when you finally sit down to rest,
Your brain goes,
Wait,
This doesn't feel right.
We should be doing something,
Getting more done.
And then when you close your eyes to sleep,
The same thing happens.
Your brain activates.
It starts generating thoughts,
Even random ones,
Even irrelevant ones.
This is your brain intentionally doing everything it can to keep you awake because it genuinely believes that if you fall asleep right now,
You're going to be in danger.
And I know it sounds so extreme and it's so annoying,
Right?
I get how frustrating this is.
But your brain only understands two operating modes.
Safe to relax or unsafe to relax.
And because it's been trained to believe that relaxing is unsafe,
Then being wired at night turned into an automatic habit.
And your brain is now doing it on autopilot every night,
Even if you didn't have a stressful day.
So this is the miscommunication happening.
Your conscious mind knows everything is fine.
Consciously,
You're like,
It's perfectly okay to sleep.
But your survival brain thinks there's still something important to stay alert for,
Something to solve,
Something to prepare for,
Something to fix.
And until you address that miscommunication,
The autopilot pattern will continue and you'll keep struggling to sleep at night no matter how physically exhausted you truly are.
But here's what's important to understand.
Your cortisol rhythm flipped because of a pattern that your brain learned.
It's not permanent.
It's not who you are.
Your natural state is the normal cortisol rhythm where you have energy during the day and you sleep easily at night.
So you just need to start sending the right signals to your mind and body,
And then they will naturally rebalance back to that state.
And that's exactly what the next shifts are going to show you how to do.
Shift two is to catch and redirect the daytime danger signals.
The best way to start rebalancing your cortisol rhythm starts during the day.
And here are some common signs that your nervous system is operating in a state of chronic,
Low-grade stress,
Which your brain keeps interpreting that your life is in danger.
So just take a look and notice how many of these feel familiar.
You feel uncomfortable doing nothing,
Even on your days off.
You're mentally planning or problem solving even when you're supposed to be relaxing.
Maybe you eat lunch while working or scrolling on your phone.
You check your phone first thing in the morning before getting out of bed.
You feel anxious when you haven't responded to messages quickly enough.
You maybe have trouble delegating because you think it's just easier to do it yourself.
You say yes to things that you actually don't want to do because maybe you feel guilty saying no.
You worry about things that are completely out of your control.
You hold your breath or you notice that you're breathing shallowly during the day.
This is the key piece of what's from perpetuating the cycle.
And your awareness of these tendencies is the first step to changing it.
So here's what you need to start doing.
You start deliberately sending your brain the opposite message during the day.
So every time you slow down.
Every time you create blank space in your schedule.
Every time you allow yourself to just exist without doing anything productive.
You are actively signaling to your survival brain that it is safe to stand down.
And when your survival brain stands down during the day,
Your cortisol drops at the right time,
Which means by the time you get into bed,
It's already low enough for sleep to happen naturally.
So here's what this actually looks like in practice.
What you can do is you can start building intentional blank space into your day.
Stop overscheduling.
Like intentionally create time where there's nothing happening.
Just exist,
Sit outside,
Go for a slow walk.
Let your mind wander without stimulation from your phone or any technology.
You can also just slow down your physical movement.
So notice when you're rushing.
Notice when you're rushing and consciously move slower,
Walk slower,
Eat slower.
Just do one thing at a time instead of multitasking.
Rushing isn't faster.
Rushing actually is slower.
Because think of a time when you were rushing to get out the door and you just ended up dropping something or you forgot something.
Slow and intentional is actually more effective and more efficient.
Just start practicing existing.
Most people have completely forgotten how to just be without doing.
Even just five minutes of sitting quietly with no phone,
No agenda,
No task,
Just be present,
Stare out the window,
Stare off into space.
I don't really care what it is,
But that sends a powerful signal to your survival brain that we are safe.
We have time.
Nothing is on fire.
And every time that you do this during the day,
You are actively retraining your mind and body to feel safe doing less.
And that is how you start flipping your cortisol rhythm back.
Now shift three is to intercept the second wind before it happens.
Most people wait until they're already feeling wired or anxious and then they try to calm their body back down.
But by that point,
That cortisol spike has already happened and it's much harder to bring down at that point.
So the key is to start signaling safety to your nervous system before the spike hits.
That second wind usually happens around the same time every night and because it's predictable,
You can intercept it before it happens.
So if your second wind typically shows up around 9.
30,
Start winding down at 8.
30 or 8 o'clock.
Get ahead of it because a nervous system that receives a safety signal before that spike is a nervous system that doesn't even need to spike in the first place.
So what does that wind down actually look like?
First,
Super simple,
Just disconnect from anything that your brain could interpret as important or urgent.
No emails,
No to-do lists,
No problem solving.
No planning,
No talking to anybody.
I mean,
Obviously the people that you live with,
But I really suggest avoiding texting,
Avoiding phone calls.
Because every time you engage with something that feels important,
Your survival brain just goes,
Well,
We're not done yet.
Let's stay alert.
And that keeps your cortisol elevated when you want it to be dropping.
So just be intentional about what you're consuming in the evening.
Your brain doesn't know the difference between a stressful TV drama or like a murder mystery and a stressful real life situation.
So if you're watching something intense or you're doom scrolling through the news right before bed,
Your nervous system is responding to that as if it's real and important right now.
So choose something else that genuinely feels more relaxing and lighthearted.
Something that sends your brain the message that the world is safe and everything is okay.
And if your mind is still racing,
Then do a brain dump.
You know,
Just grab a piece of paper and just write down everything that's on your mind,
Every task,
Every worry,
Anything you don't want to forget,
Because getting it out of your head and onto paper tells your survival brain that it's recorded and you don't need to stay alert to remember it.
And that one simple thing can bring your cortisol down significantly before you even get into bed.
So the goal is simple.
Get ahead of the spike,
Intercept it before it happens,
And your evenings will feel completely different because you're no longer reacting to the spike,
You're preventing it.
Shift four is to work with the wired feeling instead of against it if it happens to show up.
So even with shifts 2 and 3 in place,
There will still be nights when that wired feeling shows up in the beginning because you're in this transition phase where you're retraining this pattern.
And this is where people accidentally make it worse.
So the moment you feel wired at night and you think,
Oh no,
Here we go again,
Your survival brain hears that and goes threat detected.
And so boom,
More cortisol floods your system.
And then your brainwaves also spike from relaxed into wide awake and alert.
So fighting the wired feeling adds cortisol on top of cortisol.
Frustration adds more cortisol on top of cortisol.
Resistance to it adds more cortisol on top of cortisol.
And suddenly what started as a mild restlessness has turned into you lying there for hours completely awake.
So the shift is to stop fighting it and start working with it instead.
So when the wired feeling shows up,
Don't resist it.
Just notice it and remind yourself,
This is just my body thinking there's a reason to be stressed.
It's not dangerous.
It's not a sign that there's something wrong with me.
It's just my survival brain running an old pattern and I don't have to engage with it.
And then you remind yourself that your only job right now is to shift your attention to something else.
Read a book,
Listen to an audio book or a podcast,
And quite honestly,
Just entertain your mind so that you stop fixating on the feeling in your body.
Do something that's still low key so that you're still resting.
And then another thing you can do is also refocus your mind on where you physically are in your bedroom.
I'm in my house.
I'm safe.
Everything is perfectly fine.
I'm in my cozy bed.
It feels so great to just relax and lay here.
Nobody needs me to do anything right now.
This brings your mind back into the present moment,
Which also signals to your nervous system that everything in the here and now is perfectly safe,
Which will help your body calm back down faster so that you eventually get to sleep.
When you stop fighting that wired feeling,
When you remove the emotional resistance and the frustration around it,
The wired feeling starts to dissolve all on its own and then sleep shows up naturally in its place.
Every small shift matters more than you realize.
Every time you slow down during the day,
Every time you get ahead of the second wind,
Every time you choose to work with that wired feeling instead of fighting it,
You're sending your nervous system a new signal that it's safe to rest.
So just be gentle with yourself in this process.
You're not broken,
You're not stuck like this,
You're simply returning to your natural state,
The one where rest and sleep come easily.
That natural rhythm is still inside you and you're already on your way back to it.
