Welcome,
And I hope that each one of you will come to find peace within yourself.
Today I want to do a meditation that can help us with grief and loss.
This topic came up because a member of our group suddenly lost their brother.
And I'm also going to do a live session on this topic.
Grief is something that we all experience at some time in our lives.
The death of a friend,
The death of parents or siblings,
The death of a beloved pet,
Or the death of co-workers or neighbors.
But if you think about it,
Grief doesn't always have to be just about death.
Sometimes we grieve the loss of a friend for whatever reason.
And we can grieve when our lives change in ways that we weren't anticipating.
Give the example,
When I was 29 years old and I had my first two strokes.
And I was 30 when I had my worst one.
And I was upset because my body wasn't doing what it was supposed to.
My left side was dead,
Numb,
And uncooperative.
I couldn't play my guitar.
I had to drag myself around with a cane.
And I was having to have appointments with multiple specialists.
It was a full-time job,
Just going to the doctors.
And on top of that,
I couldn't work.
And I had a small daughter to take care of.
And what I finally realized was that I was grieving for what I had lost.
The dexterity in my left hand,
The numbness in my leg,
And the lack of sensation on the entire left side of my body.
And how did I get past all this?
By getting in touch with my breath,
Breathing in and breathing out.
Just one breath at a time.
So to me,
It's important that everyone realizes that we can sometimes grieve for ourselves about something that we've lost.
And loss isn't simply a natural part of living.
And it's natural for us to grieve for what we've lost.
Close your eyes now,
And let's start to get in touch with our breath.
It doesn't matter if you're sitting,
Standing,
Or lying down.
The only thing that matters when you meditate is that you're comfortable and alert.
As we start to breathe,
Let's scan our body and begin to relax.
Relax your face,
Unfurrow your brow,
And unclench your jaw.
Relax your neck and shoulders of the tension that they feel.
Relax your arms and your hands,
And let go of any tension in your chest and belly.
Feel yourself getting heavier with each and every breath.
Relax your legs and your feet,
And as you begin to relax,
Let's start to focus even more on our breath.
Our breath is like a river as it flows in and flows out.
Just inhale slowly and gently exhale.
Notice your breath.
Notice it as it flows in,
Maybe a cool sensation in your nostrils,
Or the movement of your chest and belly as the breath flows in and then flows out.
All the while,
We're just breathing in and breathing out one breath at a time,
And try to notice the little pause at the end of the inhale and at the end of the exhale.
Just continue to breathe at your normal pace and don't force anything.
Just let your breath flow like a river,
Sure and tranquil and calm.
Remember,
You're trying to breathe like you,
You're not trying to breathe like me.
And thoughts are a part of us,
They're a constant part of our world,
But you needn't concern yourself with them when you meditate.
Just focus on your breath and let the thoughts pass across your mind,
Like clouds in the sky or waves in a lake.
Following your breath can have a powerful effect on your life,
And being able to get in touch with this current can transform your life.
It can help us to deal with tension and insecurities.
Following your breath can help you to deal better with the problems in your day.
Now imagine and visualize your heart right there in the center of your chest.
And this heart is holding all the grief that you're feeling.
It's vulnerable,
It's raw,
And it's painful.
And just continue to breathe as you think about your distress.
Acknowledge where else in your body grief is held,
Whether it's in your heart or your stomach or your throat or anywhere else.
Because your grief affects the entire body,
Including the organs,
The skin,
The brain.
It can create issues with your muscles,
Sleeping,
And affect how the brain and body process information.
These physical sensations are processing something without words,
But you feel it just the same.
Now bring to mind a personal loss,
A recent death,
A long-held burden,
Or any experience that weighs down your heart.
And feel the heaviness,
The love,
And the connection associated with this loss.
And just allow yourself to fully experience it without resistance.
And all the while,
We're just breathing in and breathing out,
One breath at a time.
And here I'll take a pause to let you continue to breathe and think.
And I'll be back in a minute.
We have to recognize that nothing in this life has permanence.
All things pass away.
Nothing lasts forever.
We have to recognize that life is a constant flow of change and that nothing remains fixed.
Grief is both an ending and a beginning,
A solitary journey that transforms us.
My death would be the end of my life,
But it would also be the beginning of your life without me.
And you have to embrace the impermanence of life as a thread connecting heartbreak to healing.
Nothing in our lives lasts forever,
Not a cherished brother or sister,
Not a loving parent,
Not your favorite pet.
Each is only here with us for a limited time,
And no one knows what breath will be their last.
We never know when will be the last time we give someone a hug,
The last time we get to say I love you.
We never know when we've eaten the last cookie baked by our mother or the last time we shake our father's hand.
And because of these truths,
It's all the more important that we live our lives in this moment,
That we say the things we need to say,
That we express the love we have in our hearts,
That we cherish every moment we have with those that we love.
Now,
As we come to a close,
Open up your eyes and come back into the room,
Taking a deep breath honoring the love and the memories you've had and lost.
And as you exhale,
Realize that everything is going to be all right.
Now,
Wiggle your fingers and toes and stretch and feel how good it is to be alive.
I want to share a poem with you by author and poet Mary Green,
Who said,
I'm gone now,
But I'm still very near.
Death can never separate us.
Each time you feel a gentle breeze,
It's my hand caressing your face.
Each time the wind blows,
It carries my voice,
Whispering your name.
When the wind blows your hair ever so slightly,
Think of it as me pushing a few stray hairs back in place.
When you feel a few raindrops fall on your face,
It's me placing soft kisses.
At night,
Look up in the sky and see the stars shining so brightly.
I'm one of those stars,
And I'm winking at you and smiling with delight,
For never forget,
You're the apple of my eye.
Remember that every goodbye is a moment of connection.
And I want to thank each and every one of you for taking time to join me in this moment.
Grief is painful,
But it's also powerful.
And allow yourself to touch it at all levels,
Acknowledging it fully before releasing it.
You are not alone in this journey.
I hope this has been a beneficial and calming session.
Till next time.
