Port In A Storm

Please join me in listening to this quirky, light-hearted bedtime story, where a father, on the day of his wedding anniversary, tells his children how he met their mother. The story was written by 19th-century Scottish writer George Macdonald. Its gentle unfolding will lull you to sleep.

Transcript

Hello,

My name's Mandy and I'm really pleased that you've decided to join me tonight to hear the reading,

Which is a wonderful quirky story called Port in a Storm.

In it,

A father tells his entranced children the tale of how he met their mother.

The story was written by a Scottish writer called George Macdonald.

He was a major influence on many of the writers we know so well today,

Such as Mark Twain,

Lewis Carroll or Neil Gaiman and even W.

H.

Auden.

So,

Go ahead and make yourself really comfortable and we'll begin.

Port in a Storm Papa,

Said my sister Effie,

One evening as we all sat about the drawing-room fire.

One after another,

As nothing followed,

We turned our eyes upon her.

There she sat,

Still silent,

Embroidering the corner of a cambric handkerchief,

Apparently unaware that she had spoken.

It was a very cold night at the beginning of winter.

My father had come home early and we had all dined early that we might have a long evening together,

For it was my father's and mother's wedding day and we always kept it as the homeliest of holidays.

My father was seated in an easy chair by the chimney corner,

With a jug of burgundy near him,

And my mother sat by his side,

Now and then taking a sip out of his glass.

Effie was now nearly nineteen,

The rest of us were younger.

What she was thinking about we didn't know then,

Though we could all guess now.

Suddenly she looked up and seeing all eyes fixed on her,

Became either aware or suspicious and blushed rosy red.

You spoke to me Effie,

What was it my dear?

Oh yes papa,

I wanted to ask you whether you wouldn't tell us tonight the story about how you.

.

.

Well my love.

.

.

About how you.

.

.

I am listening my dear.

I mean about mama and you.

Ah yes,

Yes,

About how I got your mama for a mother to you.

Yes,

I paid a dozen of port for her.

We all and each exclaimed papa and my mother laughed.

Tell us about it,

Was the general cry.

Well I will,

Answered our father,

I must begin at the beginning though.

And filling his glass with burgundy he began.

As far back as I can remember I lived with my father in an old manor house in the country.

It didn't belong to my father but to an elder brother of his who at that time was captain of a 74.

He loved the sea more than his life and as yet apparently had loved his ship better than any woman.

At least he was not married.

My mother had been dead for some years and my father was now in very delicate health.

He had never been strong and since my mother's death I believe,

Though I was too young to notice it at the time,

He had pined away.

I'm not going to tell you anything about him just now because it doesn't belong to my story.

But when I was about five years old,

As nearly as I can judge,

The doctors advised him to leave England.

The house was put into the hands of an agent to let,

At least so I suppose,

And he took me with him to Madeira where he died.

I was brought home by his servant and by my uncle's directions sent to a boarding school from there to Eton and from there to Oxford.

Before I had finished my studies my uncle had been an admiral for some time.

The year before I left Oxford he married Lady Georgiana Thornberry,

A widow lady with one daughter.

Thereupon he bade farewell to the sea,

Though I dare say he didn't like the parting,

And retired with his bride to the house where he was born,

The same house I told you I was born in,

Which had been in the family for many generations and which your cousin now lives in.

It was late in the autumn when they arrived at Culverwood.

They were no sooner settled than my uncle wrote to me inviting me to spend Christmas Tide with them at the old place.

And here you may see that my story has arrived at its beginning.

It was with strange feelings that I entered the house.

It looked so old-fashioned and stately and grand to eyes which had been accustomed to all the modern commonplaces.

Yet the shadowy recollections which hung about it gave an air of homeliness to the place which,

Along with the grandeur,

Occasioned a sense of rare delight.

For what can be better than to feel that you are in stately company and at the same time perfectly at home in it?

I am grateful to this day for the lesson I had from the sense of which I have spoken,

That of mingled awe and tenderness in the aspect of the old hall as I entered it for the first time after 15 years,

Having left it a mere child.

I was cordially received by my old uncle and my new aunt.

But the moment Kate Thornberry entered I lost my heart and have never found it again to this day.

I get on wonderfully well without it for I have got the loan of a far better heart till I find my own which therefore I hope I never shall.

My father glanced at my mother as he said this and she returned his look in a way which I can now interpret as a quiet,

Satisfied confidence.

But the tears came in Effie's eyes.

She had trouble before long,

Poor girl,

But it's not her story I have to tell.

My father went on.

Your mother was prettier then than she is now but not so beautiful.

Beautiful enough though to make me think there never had been or could again be anything so beautiful.

She met me kindly and I met her awkwardly.

You made me feel that I had no business there said my mother,

Speaking for the first time in the course of the story.

See there girls,

Said my father.

You are always so confident in first impressions and instinctive judgement.

I was awkward because,

As I said,

I fell in love with your mother from the moment I saw her and she thought I regarded her as an intruder into the old family precincts.

I will not follow the story of the days.

I was very happy except when I felt too keenly how unworthy I was of Kate Thornberry.

Not that she meant to make me feel it for she was never other than kind but she was such that I could not help feeling it.

I gathered courage however and before my three days were over I began to tell her all my slowly reviving memories of the place with my childish adventures associated with this and that room or outhouse or spot in the grounds.

For the longer I was in the place the more my old associations with it revived till I was quite astonished to find how much of my history in connection with Culver Wood had been thoroughly imprinted on my memory.

She never showed,

At least,

That she was weary of my stories which,

However interesting to me,

Must have been tiresome to anyone who did not sympathise with what I felt towards my old nest.

From room to room we rambled talking or silent and nothing could have given me a better chance,

I believe with a heart like your mother's.

I think it was not long before she began to like me,

At least and liking had every opportunity of growing into something stronger if only she too did not come to the conclusion that I was unworthy of her.

My uncle received me like the jolly old tar that he was welcomed me to the old ship hoped we should make many a voyage together and that I would take the run of the craft all but in one thing.

You see,

My boy,

He said I married above my station and I don't want my wife's friends to say that I laid alongside of her to get hold of her daughter's fortune.

No,

No,

My boy your old uncle has too much salt water in him to do a dog's trick like that so you take care of yourself,

That's all.

She might turn the head of a wiser man that never came out of our family.

I didn't tell my uncle his advice was already too late for that,

Though it was not an hour since I had first seen her my head was so far turned already that the only way to get it right again was to go on turning it in the same direction even though,

No doubt there was a danger of overhauling the screw.

The old gentleman never referred to the matter again nor took any notice of our increasing intimacy so that I sometimes doubt even now if he could have been in earnest in the very simple warning he gave me.

Fortunately Lady Georgiana liked me at least I thought she did and that gave me courage.

That's all nonsense,

My dear said my mother Mama was nearly as fond of you as I was and that granted courage I knew better than to show my cowardice I dare say returned my father but,

He continued things grew worse and worse till I was certain I should kill myself or go straight out of my mind if your mother would not have me so it went on for a few days and Christmas was at hand the Admiral had invited friends to come and spend the Christmas week with him now you must remember that although you look on me as an old-fashioned fogey oh papa,

We all interrupted but he went on yet my uncle was an older fashioned fogey and his friends were much the same as himself now I am fond of a glass of port though I dare not take it and must content myself with burgundy Uncle Bob would have called burgundy pigwash he couldn't do without his port though he was a moderate enough man as customs were fancy then his dismay when on questioning his butler an old coxswain of his own and after going down to inspect in person he found that there was scarcely more than a dozen of port in the wine cellar he turned white with dismay until he had brought the blood back to his countenance by swearing he was something awful to behold in the dim light of the tallow candle old Jacob held in his tattooed fist I will not repeat the words he used fortunately they are out of fashion amongst gentlemen although ladies I understand are beginning to revive the custom now old and always ugly Jacob reminded his honour that he would not have more put down till he had got a proper cellar built for the one there was he had said was not fit to put anything but dead men in thereupon after abusing Jacob for not reminding him of the necessities of the coming season he turned to me and began certainly not to swear at his own father but to expostulate sideways with the absent shade for not having provided a decent cellar before his departure from this world of dinners and wine hinting that it was something selfish and very inconsiderate of the welfare of those who were to come after him having by now a little exhausted he came up and wrote the most peremptory order to his wine merchant in Liverpool to let him have 30 dozen of port before Christmas day even if he had to send it by post chaise I took the letter to the post myself for the old man would trust nobody but me and indeed would have preferred taking it himself but in winter he was always lame from the effects of a bruise he had received from a falling spar in the battle of Aboukir that night I remember well I lay in bed wondering whether I might venture to say a word or even to give a hint to your mother that there was a word that pined to be said if it might all at once I heard a whine of the wind in the old chimney how well I knew that whine for my kind aunt had taken the trouble to find out from me what room I had occupied as a boy and by the third night I spent there she had got it ready for me I jumped out of bed and found that the snow was falling fast and thick I jumped into bed again and began wondering what would I do if the port did not arrive and then I thought that if the snow went on falling as it did and if the wind rose any higher it might turn out that the roads through the hilly part of Yorkshire in which Calverwood lay might very well be blocked up the north wind doth blow and we shall have snow and what will my uncle do then poor thing he will run for his port but he will run short and have too much water to drink poor thing with the influences of the chamber of my childhood crowding upon me I kept repeating the travesty rhyme to myself till I fell asleep now boys and girls if I were writing a novel I should like to make you somehow or other put together some facts that I was in the room I have mentioned that I had been in the cellar with my uncle for the first time that evening that I had seen my uncle's distress and heard his reflections upon his father I may add that I was not myself even then so indifferent to the merits of a good glass of port as to be unable to enter into my uncle's dismay if they should find that the snowstorm had actually closed up the sweet approaches of the expected port if I was personally indifferent to the matter I fear it is to be attributed to your mother and not to myself nonsense interposed my mother once more I never knew such a man for making little of himself and much of other people you never drank a glass too much port in your life that's why I'm so fond of it my dear returned my father I declare you make me quite discontented with my pig wash here but that night I had a dream the next day the visitors began to arrive before the evening after they had all come there were five of them three tars and two land crabs as they called each other when they got jolly which by the way they would not have done long without me my uncle's anxiety visibly increased each guest as he came down to breakfast received each morning a more constrained greeting I beg your pardon ladies I forgot to mention that my aunt had lady visitors of course but the fact is it is only the port drinking visitors in whom my story is interested always excepted your mother these ladies my admiral uncle greeted with something approaching servility I understood him well enough he instinctively sought to make a party to protect him when the awful secret of his cellar should be found out but for two preliminary days or so his resources would serve he had plenty of excellent claret and Madeira stuff I don't know much about and both Jacob and himself condescended to manoeuvre a little the wine did not arrive but the morning of Christmas Eve did I was sitting in my room trying to write a song for Kate that's your mother my dears I know papa said Effie as if she were very knowing to know that then my uncle came into the room looking like Sintram with death and the other one after him that's the nonsense you read to me the other day isn't it Effie not nonsense dear papa remonstrated Effie and I loved her for saying it for surely it isn't nonsense I didn't mean it said my father and turning to my mother added it must be your fault my dear that my children are so serious that they always take a joke for earnest however it was no joke with my uncle if he didn't look like Sintram he looked like the other one the roads are frozen I mean snowed up he said there's just one bottle of port left and what Captain Colker will say I dare say I know but I'd rather not damn this weather God forgive me that's not right but it is trying ain't it my boy what will you give me for a dozen of port uncle was all my answer give you I'll give you culverwood you rogue darn I cried that is stammered my uncle that is and he reddened like the funnel of one of his hated steamers that is you know always provided you know it wouldn't be fair to Lady Georgiana now would it I put it to yourself if she took the trouble you know you understand me my boy that's of course uncle I said ah I see you're a gentleman like your father not to trip a man when he stumbles said my uncle for such was the dear old man's sense of honour that he was actually uncomfortable about the hasty promise he had made without first specifying the exception the exception you know has culverwood at the present hour and right welcome he is of course uncle I said between gentlemen you know still I want my joke out too what will you give me a dozen of port to tide you over Christmas day give you my boy I'll give you but here he checked himself as one that had been burned already he said turning his back and going towards the door what's the use of joking about serious affairs like this and so he left the room and I let him go he said that the road from Liverpool was impassable the wind and snow having continued every day since that night of which I told you meantime I had never been able to summon the courage to say one word to your mother I beg her pardon I mean Miss Thornberry Christmas day arrived my uncle was awful to behold his friends were evidently nervous about him they thought he was ill there was such a hesitation about him like a shark with a bait and such a flurry like a whale in his last agonies he had a horrible secret which he dared not tell and which yet would come out of its grave at the appointed hour down in the kitchen the roast beef and turkey up in the storeroom for Lady Georgiana was not above housekeeping any more than her daughter the ladies of the house were doing their part and I was oscillating between my uncle and his niece making myself amazingly useful now to one and now to the other the turkey and the beef were on the table nay they had been well eaten before I felt that my moment had come outside the wind was howling and driving the snow with soft pats against the window panes eager eyed I watched General Fortescue who despised sherry or Madeira even during dinner and would no more touch champagne than he would eau sucree but drank port after fish or with cheese indiscriminately with eager eyes I watched how the last bottle dwindled out its fading life in the clear decanter glass after glass was supplied to General Fortescue by the fearless coxswain who if he might have had his choice would rather have boarded a Frenchman than waited for what was to follow my uncle scarcely ate at all and the only thing that stopped his face from eating longer with the removal of every dish was that nothing but death could have made it longer than it was already it was my interest to let matters go as far as they might up to a certain point beyond which it was not my interest to let them go if I could help it at the same time I was curious to know how my uncle would announce on Christmas day having invited his oldest friends to share with him the festivities of the season there was not one more bottle of port to be had I waited till the last moment till I fancied the Admiral was opening his mouth like a fish in despair to make his confession he had not even dared to make a confidante of his wife in such an awful dilemma then I pretended to have dropped my table napkin behind my chair and rising to seek it stole round behind my uncle and whispered in his ear what will you give me for a dozen of port now uncle bach he said I'm at the gratings don't torture me I'm in earnest uncle he looked round at me with a sudden flash of bewildered hope in his eye in the last agony he was capable of believing in a miracle but he made me no reply he only stared will you give me Kate I want Kate I whispered I will my boy that is if she'll have you that is I mean to say if you produce of course uncle on a bright as port in a storm I answered trembling in my shoes and everything else I had on for I was not more than three parts confident in the result the gentleman beside Kate happening at the moment to be occupied each with the lady on his other side I went behind her as I had whispered to my uncle though not exactly in the same terms perhaps I had got a little courage from the champagne I had drunk or perhaps the presence of the company gave me a kind of mesmeric strength perhaps the excitement of the whole venture kept me up perhaps Kate herself gave me courage like a goddess of old in some way I didn't understand at all events I said to her Kate we had got so far even then my uncle hasn't another bottle of port in his cellar consider what a state General Fortescue will be in soon he'll be tipsy for want of it will you come and help me find a bottle or two she rose at once with a white rose blush so delicate I don't believe anyone saw it but myself but the shadow of a stray ringlet couldn't fall on her cheek without my seeing it when we got into the hall the wind was roaring loud and the few lights were flickering and waving gustily with alternate light and shade across the old portraits which I had known so well as a child for I used to think what each would say to me first if he or she came down out of the frame and spoke to me I stopped and taking Kate's hand I said I daren't let you come further Kate before I tell you another thing my uncle has promised if I find him a dozen of port you must have seen what a state the poor man is in to let me say something to you I suppose he meant to tell your mama but I prefer saying it to you if you will let me will you come and help me find the port she said nothing but took up a candle that was on a table in the hall and stood waiting I ventured to look at her her face was now celestial rosy red and I could not doubt that she had understood me she looked so beautiful but I stood staring at her without moving what the servants could have been about that not one of them crossed the hall I can't think at last Kate laughed and said well I started and I dare say took my turn at blushing at least I didn't know what to say I had forgotten all about the guests inside where's the port said Kate I turned again and kissed it you needn't be quite so minute in your account my dear said my mother smiling I will be more careful in future my love returned my father what do you want me to do said Kate only to hold the candle for me I answered restored to my seven senses at last and taking it from her I led the way till we had passed through the kitchen and reached the cellar stairs these were steep and awkward and she let me help her down now Edward said my mother yes yes my love I understand returned my father up to this time your mother had asked no questions but when we stood in a vast low cellar which we had made several turns to reach and I gave her the candle and took up a great crowbar which lay on the floor she said at last Edward are you going to bury me alive or what are you going to do I'm going to dig you out I said for I was nearly beside myself with joy as I struck the crowbar like a battering ram into the wall you can fancy that I didn't work the worst that Kate was holding very soon though with great effort I had dislodged a brick and the next blow I gave into the hole sent back a dull echo I was right I worked now like a madman and in a very few minutes more I had dislodged the hole of the brick thick wall which filled up an archway of stone and curtained an ancient door the lock of which the key now showed itself it had been well greased and I turned it without much difficulty I took the candle from Kate and led her into a spacious region of sawdust,

Cobweb and wine fungus there Kate I cried in delight but said Kate will the wine be good General Fortescue will answer you Kate turned exultantly now come and hold the light again while I find the port bin I soon found not one but several well filled port bins which to choose I couldn't tell I mischance that Kate carried a bottle and the candle and I carried two bottles very carefully we put them down in the kitchen we had soon carried the dozen to the hall table by the dining room door when at length with Jacob chuckling and rubbing his hands behind us we entered the dining room Kate and I for Kate would not part with her share in the joyful business loaded with a level bottle in each hand which we carefully erected on the sideboard Kate and I for Kate would not part with her share in the joyful business loaded with a level bottle in each hand which we carefully erected on the sideboard Kate and I for Kate would not part with her share in the joyful business loaded with a level bottle in each hand which we carefully erected on the sideboard If you think your mama has you may ask her Captain Kalka and General Fortescue looked positively white about the gills my uncle clinging to the last hope despairingly had sat still and said nothing and the guests could not understand the awful delay even Lady Georgiana had begun to fear a mutiny in the kitchen or something equally awful but to see the flash that passed across my uncle's face when he saw us appear with ported arms he immediately began to pretend that nothing had been the matter what the juices kept you Ned my boy he said,

Fair Hebe he went on,

I beg your pardon Jacob you can go on decanting it was very careless of you to forget it this time Hebe,

Bring that bottle to General Jupiter there he's got a corkscrew in the tail of his robe or I'm mistaken out came General Fortescue's corkscrew I was trembling once more with anxiety but the cork gave the genuine plop the bottle was lowered glug glug glug came from its beneficent throat and out flowed something tawny as a lion's mane the general lifted it lazily to his lips saluting his nose on the way fifteen by Jove he cried,

Well Admiral this was worth waiting for take care how you decant that Jacob on peril of your life my uncle was triumphant he winked hard at me not to tell Kate and I retired she to change her dress I to get mine well brushed and my hands washed by the time I returned to the dining room no one had any questions to ask for Kate the ladies had gone to the drawing room before she was ready and I believe she had some difficulty in keeping my uncle's counsel but she did need I say it was the happiest Christmas I ever spent but how did you find the cellar papa asked Effie where are your brains Effie don't you remember I told you I had a dream yes but you don't mean to say the existence of the wine cellar was revealed to you in a dream but I do indeed I had seen the wine cellar built up just before we left for Madeira it was my father's plan for securing the wine when the house was let and very well it turned out for the wine and me too I had forgotten all about it everything had conspired to bring it to my memory but had just failed of success I had fallen asleep I had lost all my influences from the region of my childhood they operated still when I was asleep and all other distracting influences being removed at length roused in my sleeping brain the memory of what I had seen in the morning I remembered not my dream only but the event of which my dream was a reproduction still I was under considerable doubt about the place and in this I followed the dream only as near as I could judge the admiral kept his word and interposed no difficulties between Kate and me not that to tell the truth I was ever very anxious about that rock ahead but it was very possible that his fastidious honour or pride might have occasioned a considerable interference with our happiness at the time as it turned out he could not leave me culverward and I regretted the fact as little as he did himself his gratitude to me was however excessive assuming occasionally ludicrous outbursts of thankfulness I do not believe he could have been more grateful if I had saved his ship and its whole crew and here ended my father's story with a light sigh and a gaze into the bright coals a kiss of my mother's hand which he held in his and another glass of burgundy the end

Reviews

So delightful; I wonder how much of it is true? Thanks Mandy 🙏🏻

About twice a year I listen to this one again. You made a great choice of what to read to us!

What a fabulous story. I honestly couldn’t get to the end as I fell asleep every time… so I had to listen during the day to hear how Kate ended up courted by the young man in search of port wine. Delightful ! And such beautiful reading by Mandy. Felt like i was listening in on a Dad’s grand story telling. Loved it so much