The Light Princess, Part One Of Two

Hello! Mandy here. Please join me in listening to part one of this lighthearted Scottish fairytale about a princess who falls under a spell and becomes totally weightless. I promise you'll be asleep before the end!

Transcript

Hello,

Mandy here.

Thanks so much for joining me to listen to the fairy tale of the Light Princess.

It was written as long ago as 1864 by the Scottish writer George Macdonald.

Before we begin,

Do please make any last minute adjustments to the way you're sitting,

Or perhaps lying,

So that you can feel really comfy cozy as the story unfolds.

Okay,

Then I'll begin.

The Light Princess,

Chapter One.

What?

No children?

Once upon a time,

So long ago that I've quite forgotten the date,

There lived a king and queen who had no children.

And the king said to himself,

All the queens of my acquaintance have children,

Some three,

Some seven,

Some as many as twelve,

And my queen has not one.

I feel ill-used.

So he made up his mind to be cross with his wife about it.

But she bore it all like a good patient queen as she was.

Then the king grew very cross indeed.

But the queen pretended to take it all as a joke,

And a very good one too.

Why don't you have any daughters at least,

Said he.

I don't say sons,

That might be too much to expect.

I am sure dear king,

I'm very sorry,

Said the queen.

So you ought to be,

Retorted the king.

You're not going to make a virtue of that surely.

But he was not an ill-tempered king really,

And in any matter of less moment would have let the queen have her own way with all his heart.

This however was an affair of state.

The queen smiled.

You must have patience with the lady you know,

Dear king,

Said she.

She was indeed a very nice queen,

And heartily sorry that she could not oblige the king immediately.

Chapter two.

Won't I just.

The king tried to have patience,

But he succeeded very badly.

It was more than he deserved therefore,

When at last the queen gave him a daughter,

As lovely a little princess as ever cried.

The day drew near when the infant must be christened.

The king wrote all the invitations with his own hand.

Of course somebody was forgotten.

Now it doesn't generally matter if somebody is forgotten,

Only you must mind who.

Unfortunately the king forgot without intending to forget,

And so the chance fell upon the princess make me know it,

Which was awkward,

For the princess was the king's own sister,

And he ought not to have forgotten her.

But she'd made herself so disagreeable to the old king,

Their father,

That he'd forgotten her in making his will.

So it was no wonder that her brother forgot her in writing his invitations.

But poor relations don't do anything to keep you in mind of them.

Why don't they?

The king couldn't see into the garret she lived in,

Could he?

She was a sour spiteful creature.

The wrinkles of contempt crossed the wrinkles of peevishness,

And made her face as full of wrinkles as a pat of butter.

If ever a king could be justified in forgetting anybody,

This king was justified in forgetting his sister,

Even at a christening.

She looked very odd too.

Her forehead was as large as all the rest of her face together,

And projected over it like a precipice.

When she was angry,

Her little eyes flashed blue.

When she hated anybody,

They shone yellow and green.

What they looked like when she loved anybody,

I don't know.

For I never heard of her loving anybody but herself,

And I don't think she could have managed that if she hadn't somehow got used to herself.

But what made it highly imprudent in the king to forget her,

Was that she was awfully clever.

In fact she was a witch,

And when she bewitched anybody,

He very soon had enough of it,

For she beat all the wicked fairies in wickedness,

And all the clever ones in cleverness.

She despised all the modes we read of in history,

In which offended fairies and witches have taken their revenge,

And therefore after waiting and waiting in vain for an invitation,

She made up her mind at last to go without one,

And make the whole family miserable,

Like a princess she was.

So she put on her best gown,

Went to the palace,

Was kindly received by the happy monarch,

Who forgot that he'd forgotten her,

And took her place in the procession,

Procession next to the royal chapel.

When they were all gathered about the font,

She contrived to get next to it and throw something into the water,

After which she maintained a very respectful demeanour,

Till the water was applied to the child's face.

But at that very moment,

She turned round in her place three times,

And muttered the following words,

Loud enough for those beside her to hear.

Light of spirit by my charms,

Light of body every part,

Never weary human arms,

Only crush thy parents heart.

They all thought she'd lost her wits,

And was repeating some foolish nursery rhyme,

But a shudder went through the whole lot of them,

Notwithstanding.

The baby on the contrary began to laugh and crow,

While the nurse gave a start and a smothered cry,

For she thought she was struck with paralysis,

She couldn't feel the baby in her arms,

But she clasped it tight and said nothing.

The mischief was done.

Chapter three.

She can't be ours.

Her atrocious aunt had deprived the child of all her gravity.

If you ask me how this was affected,

I answer,

In the easiest way in the world.

She had only to destroy gravitation.

For the princess was a philosopher,

And knew all the ins and outs of the laws of gravitation,

As well as the ins and outs of her bootlaces.

And being a witch as well,

She could abrogate those laws in a moment,

Or at least so clog their wheels and rust their bearings that they would not work at all.

But we have more to do with what followed than with how it was done.

The first awkwardness that resulted from this unhappy privation was that the moment the nurse began to float the baby up and down,

She flew from her arms towards the ceiling.

Happily,

The resistance of the air brought her ascending career to a close within a foot of it.

There she remained,

Horizontal,

As when she left her nurse's arms,

Kicking and laughing amazingly.

The nurse,

In terror,

Flew to the bell and begged the footman,

Who answered it,

To bring up the house steps directly.

Trembling in every limb,

She climbed up the steps and had to stand on the very top and reach up before she could catch the floating tail of the baby's long clothes.

When the strange fact came to be known,

There was a terrible commotion in the palace.

The occasion of its discovery by the king was naturally a repetition of the nurse's experience.

Astonished that he felt no weight when the child was laid in his arms,

He began to wave her up and not down,

For she slowly ascended to the ceiling as before and remained there floating in perfect comfort and satisfaction,

As was testified by her peals of tiny laughter.

The king stood staring up in speechless amazement and trembled so his beard shook like grass in the wind.

At last,

Turning to the queen,

Who was just as horror-struck as himself,

He said,

Gasping,

Staring and stammering,

She can't be ours,

Queen.

Now the queen was much cleverer than the king.

She had already begun to suspect that this effect,

Defective,

Came by cause.

I'm sure she's ours,

Answered she,

But we ought to have taken better care of her at the christening.

People who were never invited ought not to have been present.

Oh ho,

Said the king,

Tapping his forehead with his forefinger.

I have it all.

I've found her out.

Don't you see it,

Queen?

Princess,

Make me know it,

Has bewitched her.

That's just what I said,

Answered the queen.

I beg your pardon,

My love.

I didn't hear you.

John,

Bring the steps I get on my throne with.

For he was a little king with a great throne,

Like many other kings.

The throne steps were brought and set upon the dining table,

And John got up upon the top of them.

But he couldn't reach the little princess,

Who lay like a baby laughter cloud in the air,

Exploding continuously.

Take the tongs,

John,

Said his majesty,

And getting up on the table,

He handed them to him.

John could reach the baby now,

And the little princess was handed down by the tongs.

Chapter four.

Where is she?

One fine summer day,

A month after these,

Her first adventures,

During which time she had been very carefully watched,

The princess was lying on the bed in the queen's own chamber,

Fast asleep.

One of the windows was open,

For it was noon,

And the day was so sultry that the little girl was wrapped in nothing less ethereal than slumber itself.

The queen came into the room,

And not observing that the baby was on the bed,

Opened another window.

A frolicsome fairy wind,

Which had been watching for a chance of mischief,

Rushed in at the one window,

And taking its way over the bed where the child was lying,

Caught her up,

And rolling and floating her along,

Like a piece of flotsam or a dandelion seed,

Carried her with it through the opposite window and away.

The queen went downstairs,

Quite ignorant,

Of the loss she had herself occasioned.

When the nurse returned,

She supposed that her majesty had carried the girl off,

And dreading a scolding,

Delayed making inquiry about her.

But hearing nothing,

She grew uneasy,

And went at length to the queen's boudoir,

Where she found her majesty.

Please,

Your majesty,

Shall I take the baby?

Said she.

Where is she?

Asked the queen.

Please forgive me.

I know it was wrong.

What do you mean?

Said the queen,

Looking grave.

Oh,

Don't frighten me,

Your majesty,

Exclaimed the nurse,

Clasping her hands.

The queen saw that something was very amiss,

And fell down in a faint.

The nurse rushed about the palace,

Screaming,

My baby,

My baby.

Everyone ran to the queen's room,

But the queen could give no orders.

They soon found out,

However,

That the princess was missing,

And in a moment the palace was like a beehive in a garden.

And in one minute more,

The queen was brought to herself by a great shout and a clapping of hands.

They'd found the princess,

Fast asleep under a rose bush,

To which the elvish little windpuff had carried her,

Finishing its mischief by shaking a shower of red rose leaves all over the little white sleeper.

Startled by the noise the servants made,

She woke,

And furious with glee,

Scattered the rose leaves in all directions,

Like a shower of spray in the sunset.

She was watched more carefully after this,

No doubt.

Yet it would be endless to relate all the odd incidents resulting from this peculiarity of the young princess.

But there never was a baby in the house,

Not to say a palace,

That kept the household in such constant good humor,

At least below stairs.

If it was not easy for her nurses to hold her,

At least she made neither the arms nor the heart ache.

And she was so nice to play at ball with.

There was positively no danger of letting her fall.

They might throw her down,

Or knock her down,

Or push her down,

But they couldn't let her down.

It is true they might let her fly into the fire,

Or the coal hole,

Or through the window,

But none of these accidents had happened,

As yet.

If you heard peals of laughter resounding from some unknown region,

You might be sure enough of the cause.

Going down into the kitchen or the room,

You would find Jane and Thomas and Robert and Susan,

All and some,

Playing at ball with the little princess.

She was the ball herself,

And did not enjoy it the less for that.

Away she went,

Flying from one to another,

Screeching with laughter.

And the servants loved the ball itself better even than the game.

But they had to take some care how they threw her,

For if she received an upward direction,

She would never come down again without being fetched.

But above stairs it was different.

One day,

For instance,

After breakfast,

The king went into his counting house and counted out his money.

The operation gave him no pleasure.

To think,

He said to himself,

That every one of these gold sovereigns weighs a quarter of an ounce,

And my real live flesh and blood princess weighs nothing at all.

And he hated his gold sovereigns,

As they lay with a broad smile of self-satisfaction all over their yellow faces.

The queen was in the parlour eating bread and honey,

But at the second mouthful she burst out crying and could not swallow it.

The king heard her sobbing,

Glad of anybody,

But especially of his queen to quarrel with.

He clashed his gold sovereigns into his money box,

Clapped his crown on his head and rushed into the parlour.

What is all this about,

Exclaimed he.

What are you crying for,

Queen?

I can't eat it,

Said the queen,

Looking ruefully at the honeypot.

No wonder,

Retorted the king.

You've just eaten your breakfast.

Two turkey eggs and three anchovies.

Oh,

That's not it,

Sobbed her majesty.

It's my child,

My child.

Well,

What's the matter with your child?

She's neither up the chimney nor down the draw well,

Just here laughing.

Yet the king could not help a sigh,

Which he tried to turn into a cough,

Saying,

It is a good thing to be light-hearted,

I'm sure,

Whether she be ours or not.

It is a bad thing to be light-headed,

Answered the queen,

Looking with prophetic soul far into the future.

It is a good thing to be light-handed,

Said the king.

It is a bad thing to be light-fingered,

Answered the queen.

It is a good thing to be light-footed,

Said the king.

It is a bad thing,

Began the queen,

But the king interrupted her.

In fact,

Said he,

With the tone of one who concludes an argument in which he has had only imaginary opponents and in which,

Therefore,

He has come off triumphant.

In fact,

It is a good thing altogether to be light-bodied.

But it is a bad thing altogether to be light-minded,

Retorted the queen,

Who was beginning to lose her temper.

This last answer quite discomfited his majesty,

Who turned on his heel and betook himself to his counting house again.

But he wasn't halfway towards it when the voice of his queen overtook him.

And it's a bad thing to be light-haired,

Screamed she,

Determined to have more last words now that her spirit was roused.

The queen's own hair was black as night,

And the king's had been,

And his daughter's was golden as morning.

But it was not this reflection on his hair that arrested him.

It was the double use of the word light.

For the king hated all witticisms and punning especially.

And besides,

He couldn't tell whether the queen meant light-haired or light-aired.

For why might she not aspirate her vowels when she was exasperated herself?

He turned upon his other heel and rejoined her.

She looked angry still,

Because she knew she was guilty,

Or what was much the same,

Knew that he thought so.

My dear queen,

Said he,

Duplicity of any sort is exceedingly objectionable between married people of any rank,

Not to say kings and queens.

And the most objectionable form duplicity can assume is that of punning.

There,

Said the queen,

I never made a jest,

But I broke it in the making.

I am the most unfortunate woman in the world.

She looked so rueful that the king took her in his arms and they sat down to consult.

Can you bear this?

Said the king.

No,

I can't,

Said the queen.

Well,

What's to be done?

Said the king.

I'm sure I don't know,

Said the queen,

But might you not try an apology?

To my old sister,

I suppose you mean,

Said the king.

Yes,

Said the queen.

Well,

I don't mind trying,

Said the king.

So he went the next morning to the house of the princess and making a very humble apology,

Begged her to undo the spell.

But the princess declared with a grey face that she knew nothing at all about it.

Her eyes,

However,

Shone pink,

Which was a sign that she was happy.

She advised the king and queen to have patience and to mend their ways.

The king returned,

Disconsolate.

The queen tried to comfort him.

We will wait till she's older.

She may then be able to suggest something herself.

She will know at least how she feels and explain things to us.

But what if she should marry,

Exclaimed the king in sudden consternation at the idea.

Well,

What of that?

Rejoined the queen.

But just think,

Said the king,

If she were to have children in the course of a hundred years,

The air might be as full of floating children as of gossamers in autumn.

That's no business of ours,

Replied the queen.

Besides,

By that time they will have learned to take care of themselves.

A sigh was the king's only answer.

He would have consulted the court physicians,

But he was afraid they would try experiments upon her.

Chapter six.

She laughs too much.

Meantime,

Notwithstanding awkward occurrences and griefs that she brought upon her parents,

The little princess laughed and grew,

Not fat,

But plump and tall.

She reached the age of 17 without having fallen into any worse scrape than a chimney by rescuing from her a witch,

A little bird nesting urchin,

Got fame and a black face.

Nor,

Thoughtless as she was,

Had she committed anything worse than laughter at everybody and everything that came her way.

When she was told for the sake of experiment that general Clanronfort was cut to pieces with all his troops,

She laughed.

When she heard that the enemy was on his way to besiege her papa's capital,

She laughed hugely.

But when she was told the enemy would certainly be abandoned to the mercy of the enemy's soldiery,

Why then she laughed immoderately.

She never could be brought to see the serious side of anything.

When her mother cried,

She said,

What queer faces mama makes,

And she squeezes water out of her cheeks.

Funny mama.

And when her papa stormed at her,

She laughed and danced round and round him,

Clapping her hands and crying,

Do it again,

Papa,

Do it again.

It is such fun,

Dear funny papa.

And if he tried to catch her,

She glided from him in an instant,

Not in the least afraid of him,

But thinking it part of the game,

Not to be caught.

With one push of her foot,

She would be floating in the air above his head,

Or she would go dancing backwards and forwards and sideways like a great butterfly.

It happened several times when her father and mother were holding a consultation about her in private,

That they were interrupted by vainly repressed outbursts of laughter over their heads,

And looking up with indignation,

Saw her floating at full length in the air above them,

Whence she regarded them with the most comical appreciation of the position.

One day,

An awkward accident happened.

The princess had come out upon the lawn with one of her attendants who held her by the hand.

Spying her father at the other side of the lawn,

She snatched her hand from the maids and sped across to him.

Now when she wanted to run alone,

Her custom was to catch up a stone in each hand,

So that she might come down again after a bound.

Whatever she wore as part of her attire had no effect in this way,

Even gold,

When it thus became as it were a part of herself,

Lost all its weight for the time.

But whatever she only held in her hands retained its downward tendency.

On this occasion,

She could see nothing to catch up but a huge toad that was walking across the lawn as if he had a hundred years to do so.

Not knowing what disgust meant,

For this was one of her peculiarities,

She snatched up the toad and bounded away.

She had almost reached her father,

And he was holding out his arms to receive her,

And take from her lips the kiss which hovered on them like a butterfly on a rosebud,

When a puff of wind blew her aside into the arms of a young page,

Who had just been receiving a message from his majesty.

Now it was no great peculiarity in the princess that once she was set going,

It always cost her time and trouble to check herself.

On this occasion,

There was no time.

She must kiss,

And she kissed the page.

She didn't mind it much,

For she had no shyness in her composition,

And she knew besides that she couldn't help it.

So she only laughed like a musical box.

The poor page fared the worst,

For the princess,

Trying to correct the unfortunate tendency of the kiss,

Put out her hands to keep her off the page,

So that along with the kiss,

He received on the other cheek a slap with the huge black toad,

Which she poked right into his eye.

He tried to laugh too,

But the attempt resulted in such an odd contortion of countenance,

As showed that there was no danger of his pluming himself on the kiss.

As for the king,

His dignity was greatly hurt,

And he didn't speak to the page for a whole month.

I may hear a remark that it was very amusing to see her run,

If a mode of progression could properly be called running.

First she would make a bound,

Then having alighted,

She would run a few steps and make another bound.

Sometimes she would fancy she'd reached the ground before she actually had,

And her feet would go backwards and forwards,

Running on nothing at all,

Like those of a chicken on its back.

Then she would laugh like the very spirit of fun,

Only in her laugh there was something missing.

What it was,

I find myself unable to describe,

But I think it was a certain tone,

Depending upon the possibility of sorrow,

Morbidezza perhaps.

She never smiled.

Chapter seven,

Tri-metaphysics.

After a long avoidance of the painful subject,

The king and queen resolved to hold a council of three upon it,

And so they sent for the princess.

In she came,

Sliding and flitting and gliding from one piece of furniture to another,

And put herself at last in an armchair,

In a sitting posture.

Whether she could be said to sit,

Seeing as she received no support from the seat of the chair,

I do not pretend to determine.

My dear child,

Said the king,

You must be aware by this time that you're not exactly like other people.

Oh,

You dear funny papa,

I have got a nose and two eyes and all the rest.

So have you,

So has mama.

Now be serious,

My dear,

For once,

Said the queen.

No,

Thank you,

Mama,

I had rather not.

Would you not like to be able to walk like other people,

Said the king.

No,

Indeed,

I should think not.

You only crawl.

You are all such slow coaches.

But how do you feel,

My child,

He resumed,

After a pause of discomfiture.

Quite well,

Thank you.

I mean,

What do you feel like?

Like nothing at all that I know of.

Well,

You must feel like something.

I feel like a princess with such a funny papa and such a dear pet of a queen mama.

Now really,

Began the queen,

But the princess interrupted her.

Oh yes,

She added.

I remember,

I have a curious feeling sometimes as if I were the only person that had any sense in the whole world.

She had been trying to behave herself with dignity,

But now she burst into a violent fit of laughter,

Threw herself backwards over the chair and went rolling about the floor in an ecstasy of enjoyment.

The king picked her up easier than one does a down quilt and replaced her in her former relation to the chair.

The exact preposition expressing this relation,

I do not happen to know.

Is there nothing you wish for,

Resumed the king,

Who had learned by this time that it was useless to be angry with her.

Oh,

You dear papa.

Yes,

Answered she.

What is it,

My darling?

I have been longing for it.

Oh,

Such a time.

Ever since last night.

Tell me what it is.

Will you promise to let me have it?

The king was on the point of saying yes,

But the wiser queen checked him with a single motion of her head.

Tell me what it is first,

Said he.

No,

No,

Promise first.

I dare not.

What is it?

Mind,

I hold you to your promise.

It is to be tied to the end of a string,

A very long string indeed,

And to be flown like a kite.

Oh,

Such fun.

I would rain rose water and hail sugar plums and snow whipped cream and,

And,

A fit of laughing,

Checked her and she would have been off again over the floor had not the king started up and caught her just in time.

Seeing that nothing but talk could be got out of her,

He rang the bell and sent her away with two of her ladies in waiting.

Now,

Queen,

He said,

Turning to her majesty,

What is to be done?

There is but one thing left,

Answered she.

Let us consult the College of Metaphysicians.

Bravo,

Cried the king.

We will.

Now,

At the head of this college were two very wise philosophers by name,

Humdrum and Copicach.

For them the king sent and straightaway they came.

In a long speech he communicated to them what they knew very well already,

As who did not,

Namely the peculiar condition of his daughter in relation to the globe on which she dwelt,

And he requested them to consult together as to what might be the cause and probable cure of her infirmity.

The king laid stress upon that word but failed to discover his own pun.

The queen laughed but Humdrum and Copicach heard with humility and retired in silence.

The consultation consisted chiefly in propounding and supporting for the thousandth time each his favorite theories,

But the condition of the princess afforded delightful scope for the discussion of every question arising from the division of thought,

In fact of all the metaphysics of the Chinese empire.

But it's only justice to say that they didn't altogether neglect the discussion of the practical question,

What was to be done.

Humdrum was a materialist and Copicach was a spiritualist.

The former was slow and sententious,

The latter was quick and flighty,

The latter had generally the first word,

The former the last.

I reassert my former assertion,

Began Copicach with a plunge,

There is not a fault in the princess body or soul,

Only they are wrong put together.

Listen to me now Humdrum and I will tell you in brief what I think.

Don't speak,

Don't answer me,

I won't hear you till I have done.

At that decisive moment when souls seek their appointed habitations,

Two eager souls met,

Struck,

Rebounded,

Lost their way and arrived each at the wrong place.

The soul of the princess was one of those and she went far astray.

She does not belong by rights to this world at all but to some other planet,

Probably Mercury.

Her proclivity to her true sphere destroys all the natural influence which this orb would otherwise possess over her corporeal frame.

She cares for nothing here,

There is no relation between her and this world.

She must therefore be taught by the sternest compulsion to take an interest in the earth as the earth.

She must study every department of its history,

Its animal history,

Its vegetable history,

Its mineral history,

Its social history,

Its moral history,

Its political history,

Its scientific history,

Its literary history,

Its musical history,

Its artistical history and above all its metaphysical history.

She must begin with the Chinese dynasty and end with Japan but first of all she must study geology and especially the history of the extinct races of animals,

Their natures,

Their habits,

Their loves,

Their hates,

Their revenges.

She must hold broad humdrum.

It is certainly my turn now and my rooted and insubvertible conviction is that the causes of the anomalies evident in the princess's condition are strictly and solely physical but that is only tantamount to acknowledging that they exist.

Hear my opinion.

From some cause or other of no importance to our inquiry the motion of her heart has been reversed.

That remarkable combination of the suction and the force pump works the wrong way round.

I mean in the case of the unfortunate princess it draws in where it should force out and forces out where it should draw in.

The offices of the auricles and the ventricles are subverted.

Blood is sent forth by the veins and returns by the arteries.

Consequently it's running the wrong way through all her corporeal organism,

Lungs and all.

Is it then at all mysterious seeing that such is the case that on the other particular of gravitation as well she should differ from normal humanity?

My proposal for the cure is this.

Phlebotomise until she is reduced to the last point of safety.

Let it be affected if necessary in a warm bath.

When she is reduced to a state of perfect asphyxia apply a ligature to the left ankle drawing it as tight as the bone will bear.

Apply at the same moment another of equal tension around the right wrist.

By means of plates constructed for the purpose place the other foot and hand under the receivers of two air pumps.

Exhaust the receivers,

Exhibit a pint of French brandy and await the result.

Which would presently arrive in the form of grim death said Koppekek.

If it should she would yet die in doing our duty retorted Holmdrum.

But their majesties had too much tenderness for their volatile offspring to subject her to either of the schemes of the equally unscrupulous philosophers.

Indeed the most complete knowledge of the laws of nature would have been unserviceable in her case for it was impossible to classify her.

She was a fifth imponderable body sharing all the other properties of the ponderable.

Chapter eight try a drop of water.

Perhaps the best thing for the princess would have been to fall in love but how a princess who had no gravity could fall into anything is a difficulty.

Perhaps the difficulty.

As for her own feelings on the subject she didn't even know that there was such a beehive of honey and stings to be fallen into.

But now I come to mention another curious fact about her.

The palace was built on the shores of the loveliest lake in the world and the princess loved this lake more than father or mother.

The root of this preference no doubt although the princess didn't recognize it as such was that the moment she got into it she recovered the natural right of which she'd been so wickedly deprived namely gravity.

Whether this was owing to the fact that water had been employed as the means of conveying the injury I don't know but it's certain that she could swim and dive like the duck that her old nurse said she was.

The manner in which this alleviation of her misfortune was discovered was as follows.

One summer evening during the carnival of the country she had been taken upon the lake by the king and queen in the royal barge.

They were accompanied by many of the courtiers in a fleet of little boats.

In the middle of the lake she wanted to get into the lord chancellor's barge for his daughter who was a great favourite with her was in it with her father.

Now though the old king rarely condescended to make light of his misfortune yet happening this on this occasion to be in a particularly good humour as the barges approached each other he caught up the princess to throw her into the chancellor's barge.

He lost his balance however and dropping into the bottom of the barge lost hold of his daughter not however before imparting to her the downward tendency of his own person though in a somewhat different direction.

For as the king fell into the boat she fell into the water with a burst of delighted laughter she disappeared in the lake.

A cry of horror ascended from the boats.

They had never seen the princess go down before.

Half the men were underwater in a moment but they had all one after another come up to the surface again for breath when tinkle tinkle tinkle babble and gosh came the princess's laugh over the water from far away.

There she was swimming like a swan nor would she come out for king or queen chancellor or daughter.

She was perfectly obstinate but at the same time she seemed more sedate than usual.

Perhaps that was because a great pleasure spoils laughing.

At all events after this the passion of her life was to get into the water and she was always the better behaved and the more beautiful the more she had of it.

Summer and winter it was quite the same only she couldn't stay so long in the water when they had to break the ice to let her in.

Any day from morning till evening in summer she might be described a streak of white in the blue water lying as still as the shadow of a cloud or shooting along like a dolphin disappearing and coming up again far off just where one did not expect her.

She would have been in the lake of a night too if she could have had her way for the balcony of her window overhung a deep pool in it and through a shallow reedy passage she could have swum out into the wide wet water and no one would have been any the wiser.

Indeed when she happened to wake in the moonlight she could hardly resist the temptation but there was the sad difficulty of getting into it.

She had as great a dread of the air as some children have of the water for the slightest gust of wind would blow her away and a gust might arise in the stillest moment and if she gave herself a push toward the water and just failed of reaching it her situation would be dreadfully awkward irrespective of the wind for at best there she would have to remain suspended in her nightgown till she was seen and angled for by someone from the window.

Oh if I had my gravity thought she contemplating the water I would flush off this balcony like a long white sea bird headlong into the darling wetness.

Hey ho.

This was the only consideration that made her wish to be like other people.

Another reason for her being fond of the water was that in it alone she enjoyed any freedom for she couldn't walk out without a cortege consisting in part of a troop of light horse for fear of the liberties which the wind might take with her and the king grew more apprehensive with increasing years till at last he would not allow her to walk abroad at all without some 20 silk and cords fastened to as many parts of her dress and held by 20 noblemen.

Of course horseback was out of the question but she bad goodbye to all this ceremony when she got into the water and so remarkable were its effects upon her especially in restoring her for the time to the ordinary human gravity.

The Tom,

John and Copicac agreed in recommending the king to bury her alive for three years in the hope that as the water did her so much good the earth would do her yet more but the king had some vulgar prejudices against the experiment and would not give his consent.

Foiled in this they yet agreed in another recommendation which seeing that one imported his opinions from China and the other from Tibet was very remarkable indeed.

They argued that if water of external origin and application could be so efficacious water from a deeper source might work a perfect cure.

In short if the poor afflicted princess could by any means be made to cry she might recover her lost gravity.

But how was this to be brought about?

Therein lay all the difficulty to meet which the philosophers were not wise enough.

To make the princess cry was as impossible as to make her way.

They sent for a professional beggar,

Commanded him to prepare his most touching oracle of woe,

Helped him out of the court charade box to whatever he wanted for dressing up and promised great rewards in the event of his success.

But it was all in vain.

She listened to the mendicant artist's story and gazed at his marvelous makeup till she could contain herself no longer and went into the most undignified contortions for relief,

Shrieking,

Positively screeching with laughter.

When she had a little recovered herself she ordered her attendants to drive him away and not give him a single copper.

Whereupon his look of mortified discomfiture wrought her punishment and his revenge for it sent her into violent hysterics from which she was with difficulty recovered.

But so anxious was the king that the suggestion should have a fair trial that he put himself in a rage one day and rushing up to her room gave her an awful whipping,

Yet not a tear would flow.

She looked grave and her laughing sounded uncommonly like screaming but that was all.

The good old tyrant though he put on his best gold spectacles to look could not discover the smallest cloud in the serene blue of her eyes.

Chapter nine,

Put me in again.

It must have been about this time that the son of a king who lived a thousand miles from Largo Bell sent out to look for the daughter of a queen.

He travelled far and wide but as sure as he found a princess he found some fault with her.

Of course he could not marry a mere woman however beautiful and there was no princess to be found worthy of him.

Whether the prince was so near perfection that he had a right to demand perfection itself I cannot pretend to say.

All I know is he was a fine,

Handsome,

Brave,

Generous,

Well-bred and well-behaved youth as all princes are.

In his wanderings he had come across some reports about our princess but as everybody said she was bewitched.

He never dreamed that she could bewitch him for what indeed could a prince do with the princess that had lost her gravity.

Who could tell what she might not lose next.

She might lose her visibility or her tangibility or in short the power of making impressions upon the radical sensorium so that he should never be able to tell whether she was dead or alive.

Of course he made no further inquiries about her.

One day he lost sight of his retinue in a great forest These forests are very useful in delivering princes from their courtiers like a sieve that keeps back the bran.

Then the princes get away to follow their fortunes.

In this way they have the advantage of the princesses who are forced to marry before they've had a bit of fun.

I wish our princesses got lost in a forest sometimes.

One lovely evening after wandering about for many days he found that he was approaching the outskirts of this forest but the trees had got so thin that he could see the sun set through them and he soon came upon a kind of heath.

Next he came upon signs of human neighborhood but by this time it was getting late and there was nobody in the fields to direct him.

After traveling for another hour his horse quite worn out with long labor and lack of food fell and was unable to rise again so he continued his journey on foot.

At length he entered another wood not a wild forest but a civilized wood through which a footpath led him to the side of a lake.

Along this path the prince pursued his way through the gathering darkness.

Suddenly he paused and listened.

Strange sounds came across the water.

It was in fact the princess laughing.

Now there was something odd in her laugh as I've already hinted for the hatching of a real hearty laugh requires the incubation of gravity and perhaps this was how the prince mistook the laughter for screaming.

Looking over the lake he saw something white in the water and in an instant he had torn off his tunic,

Kicked off his sandals and plunged in.

He soon reached the white object and found it was a woman.

There was not light enough to show that she was a princess but quite enough to show that she was a lady for it doesn't want much light to see that.

Now I can't tell how it came about whether she pretended to be drowning or whether he frightened her or caught her so as to embarrass her but certainly he brought her to shore in a fashion ignominious to a swimmer and more nearly drowned than she had ever expected to be for the water had got into her throat as often as she had tried to speak.

At the place to which he bore her the bank was only a foot or two above the water so he gave her a strong lift out of the water to lay her on her back but her gravitation ceasing the moment she left the water away she went up into the air scalding and screaming.

You naughty naughty naughty naughty man she cried.

No one had ever succeeded in putting her into a passion before.

When the prince saw her ascent he thought he must have been bewitched and have mistaken a great swan for a lady but the princess caught hold of the topmost cone upon a lofty fur.

This came off but she caught at another and in fact stopped herself by gathering cones dropping them as the stalks gave way.

The prince meantime stood in the water staring and forgetting to get out but the princess disappearing he scrambled on shore and went in the direction of the tree.

There he found her climbing down one of the branches towards the stem but in the darkness of the wood the prince continued in some bewilderment as to what the phenomenon could be until reaching the ground and seeing him standing there she caught hold of him and said I'll tell papa.

Oh no you won't returned the prince.

Yes I will she persisted.

What business had you to pull me down out of the water and throw me to the bottom of the air?

I never did you any harm.

Pardon me I did not mean to hurt you.

I don't believe you have any brains and that's a worse loss than your wretched gravity.

I pity you.

The prince now saw that he'd come upon the bewitched princess and had already offended her but before we could think what to say next she burst out angrily giving a stamp with her foot that would have sent her aloft again but for the hold she had of his arm put me up directly.

Put you up where you beauty asked the prince.

He had fallen in love with her almost already for her anger made her more charming than anyone else had ever beheld her and as far as he could see which certainly was not far she had not a single fault about her except of course that she had no gravity.

No prince however would judge a princess by weight.

The loveliness of her foot he would hardly estimate by the depth of the impression it could make him mud.

Put you up where you beauty he asked again.

In the water you stupid answered the princess.

Come then said the prince.

The condition of her dress increasing her usual difficulty in walking compelled her to cling to him and he could hardly persuade himself that he was not in a delightful dream notwithstanding the torrent of musical abuse with which she overwhelmed him.

The prince being therefore in no hurry they came upon the lake at quite another part where the bank was 20 feet high at the least and when they'd reached the edge he turned towards the princess and said how am I to put you in?

Well that's your business she answered quite snappy.

You took me out you put me in again.

Very well said the prince and catching her in his arms he sprang with her from the rock.

The princess had just time to give one delighted shriek of laughter before the water closed over them.

When they came to the surface she found that for a moment or two she could not even laugh for she had gone down with such a rush that it was with difficulty she recovered her breath.

The instant they reached the surface how do you like falling in said the prince.

After some effort the princess panted out is this what you call falling in?

Yes answered the prince I should think it a very tolerable specimen.

It seemed like me to like going up rejoined she.

My feeling was certainly one of elevation too the prince conceded.

The princess did not appear to understand him for she repeated his question.

How do you like falling in?

Beyond everything answered he for I have fallen in with the only perfect creature I ever saw.

Oh no more of that I'm tired of that said the princess.

Perhaps she shared her father's aversion to punning.

Don't you like falling in then said the prince.

It is the most delightful fun I ever had in my life she answered.

I never fell before I wish I could learn.

To think I'm the only person in my father's kingdom who can't fall.

Here she looked almost sad.

I shall be most happy to fall in with you anytime you like said the prince devotedly.

Thank you I don't know perhaps it would not be proper but actually I don't care.

At all events as we have fallen in let us have a swim together.

With all my heart responded the prince and away they went swimming diving floating until at last they heard cries along the shore and saw lights glancing in all directions.

It was now quite late and there was no moon.

I must go home said the princess.

I'm sorry this is delightful.

I'm sorry too returned the prince but I'm glad I haven't a home to go to at least I don't exactly know where it is.

I wish I hadn't won either rejoined the princess.

It's so stupid.

I have a great mind she continued to play them all a trick.

Why can't they leave me alone?

They won't trust me in the lake for a single night.

You see where that green light is burning that's the window of my room.

Now if you would just swim there with me very quietly and when we are all but under the all but under the balcony give me such a push as you call it as you did a little while ago.

I should be able to catch hold of the balcony and get in at the window and then they may look for me till tomorrow morning.

With more obedience than pleasure said the prince gallantly and away they swam very gently.

Will you be in the lake tomorrow night the prince ventured to ask.

To be sure I will.

I don't think so.

Perhaps was the princess's somewhat strange answer but the prince was intelligent enough not to press her further and merely whispered as he gave her the parting lift.

Don't tell.

The only answer the princess returned was a roguish look.

She was already a yard above his head.

The look seemed to say never fear it's too good fun to spoil that way.

So perfectly like other people had she been in the water that even yet the prince could scarcely believe his eyes when he saw her ascend slowly grasp the balcony and disappear through the window.

He turned almost expecting to see her still by his side but he was alone in the water so he swam away quietly and watched the lights roving about the shore for hours after the princess was safe in her chamber.

As soon as they disappeared he landed in search of his tunic and sword and after some trouble found them again.

Then he made the best of his way around the lake to the other side.

There the wood was wilder and the shore steeper rising more immediately towards the mountains which surrounded the lake on all sides and kept sending it messages of silvery streams from morning to night and all night long.

He soon found a spot whence he could see the green light in the princess's room and where even in the broad daylight he would be in no danger of being discovered from the opposite shore.

It was a sort of cave in the rock where he provided himself a bed of withered leaves and lay down too tired for hunger to keep him awake.

All night long he dreamed he was swimming with the princess.

To be continued.

Reviews

Thankyou, Mandy. Hearing this story again after such a long while was lovely. Much appreciated. Léna 🌷☺🐱🐱🐨

Thank you for this story. I’ve listened two nights in a row and though it is engaging, I can’t stay awake to hear the whole thing because your voice is so relaxing! ☺️ May have to listen while I’m busy during the day.

I discovered one of your readings I hadn’t listened to yet. It’s quite a bit longer than your usual segments. I think I prefer the ones under 30 minutes, because I woke up more than once and you were still reading. And it’s unlikely that I’ll ever hear the whole story. But thanks all the same.

Your voice is engaging and you tell the story comfortingly. Thank you

What a creative author! Thank you for finding him. And I love the way you read the story.

It was great! I’ll have to come back for the end tomorrow night because I fell asleep.

I loved this story! I couldn’t sleep while listening as I was filled with creativity for my students as I’m a primary school teacher. Thank you for bringing such a wonderful story to light. I look forward to part 2!