Ten Minute Talks - The Trap Of Self-Improvement & Awakening

This talk is Part 1 of 2 of a series on "The Trap of Self-Improvement and Awakening". The problem with these improvement projects is that they reinforce the belief that our present self is flawed and broken. But this messes the whole contemplative project up. If what we are trying to do in the first place is to realize that what is here now is okay, then it makes little sense to embrace a pursuit that - like chasing awakening or self-improvement - implies that what is here is not okay or enough.

Transcript

This 10-minute talk is part one of a two-part series on the trap of self improvement and awakening this talk part one explains what the trap of self improvement and awakening is I'd have to say that of all of the understandings that have constellated for me during my spiritual journey the insight related to the self-improvement project and awakening as traps as seductive ideas that are quite often dead ends that was a big big moment in my practice so these are my thoughts on this trap of self-improvement and awakening and I think the these are particularly relevant reflections today given that the self-improvement project has become a billion-dollar industry bookshelves bookstores full of 10-step programs for achieving you know well-being or happiness or financial success and it really is my strong belief that those kinds of approaches to well-being of willingly willfully getting oneself to improve end up being counterproductive and I hope to be able to explain why so if we are committed to learning to be with what is a key question that we can ask ourselves every moment of our waking lives is can this that is here now be okay can this that is here now be enough now if we answer this question affirmatively if we say yes this that is here now is enough for me then no problem right you can stop the recording because if what is here now is good enough for you then there truly is nothing to do nowhere to go no problem to solve but if the answer to the question of whether what is here now can be enough is no as will often be the case then can we be courageous enough to admit that in these moments what is here now is dissatisfaction with what is here now can this profound dissatisfaction with reality be honored and held in loving awareness instead of repress unfortunately we often fail to do this instead of facing up to the dissatisfaction in our lives and honoring its presence in the order of things we frequently sweep our dissatisfaction under the rug we distract ourselves from it with meditation drugs or whatever gives us pleasure we bypass dissatisfaction by seeking refuge in some religion or worldview that offers some form of escape from the present world or some future reward for enduring our present suffering we seek to self-improve so that we are less dissatisfied with ourselves in the future now if we are really ambitious we try to wake up to the true nature of things and with this like the Buddha fully free ourselves from suffering now here's the rub though the problem with doing these things is that paradoxically as I will argue throughout these talks one of the chief obstacles to learning to be okay with what is here is our desire to improve upon ourselves in the context of spiritual endeavors this desire often manifests itself as a yearning to wake up to attain enlightenment or be fully liberated and delivered from suffering well it may seem like pouring energy to improve yourself or to attain some kind of spiritual awakening are worthwhile projects there are very very good reasons to be skeptical of such endeavors the core difficulty lies in that by definition if you want to improve you must think that there is something wrong with you that needs improving if you want to wake up it means you think that you're asleep and if you think you're asleep it must mean that you are missing out on something but but and here's the rub if you think that you need improving or that you're missing something then you're actually reinforcing the belief that your present current self is flawed and broken and not enough this messes the whole contemplative project up if what we're trying to do in the first place is realized that what is here now is okay then it makes little sense to embrace a pursuit that like chasing a work getting or self-improvement implies that there is something about what is here now that is not okay relatedly a belief in self-improvement and by extension awakening necessarily postpones the project of being okay with what is here now for some vague future moment of undefinable well-being in other words you say well you know I may not be well now what is here now may not be okay or may not be good enough but in the future it will be you know because I will will myself to improve or to awaken but my friends this is folly for the only moment during which I can work on being okay with what is here is right now express differently if you want the present moment to be enough you at some point have to stop wanting it to be different and this can only happen in the present any attempt to postpone this project to a future moment of awakening liberation or improvement merely bypasses the current suffering and as such perversely reinforces the sense that there is something wrong with us that needs to be improved upon this negative feedback loop where our belief that we need to improve or awaken reinforces the suffering causing belief that the present moments and our very selves are not enough this is what I call the trap of self-improvement and awakening a particularly pernicious aspect of the trap of self-improvement and awakening is that pursuing these projects often leads to failing to take charge of our own lives when we embark on these pursuits it is easy to postpone for some future point in time the hard work of coming to grips with the present we may think that we are not ready to be with what is at this particular moment in time but we will be ready once we have awakened or improved enough to tackle the difficulties of life but this is an abdication of responsibility we keep waiting for that future time when the life hack that we've been trying to implement will kick in and supercharge our lives we keep kicking the can of our problems down the road of life but kicking our problems further down the road does nothing to actually address them wouldn't it be great if some future great awakening a little pill or amazing software took care of all of our problems in the not-so-distant future yes it would be awesome but it is also pure childish fantasy to believe that this is on the menu of life the job of coming to terms with the messiness of our lives cannot be postponed if it is going to be done it needs to be done now if there are materials that we need to get it done whatever is here provides us with what we need from this point of view the self-improvement and awakening projects merely postpone that which my teacher's teacher Tony Packer called the work of this moment the work of this moment cannot be sidestepped for it is always present waiting for you to bow down to it and honor it the work of this moment cannot be delayed for it is always alive always here and always now we end by reminding ourselves of Thoreau how he said that it is foolish to look for a better life for there is no other life but this

Reviews

Outstanding talk by you. Thanks for sharing this message with me

Exactly what I have been feeling but was not sure how to describe

Just what I needed to hear this morning, beautifully delivered. Thank you. 🙏🏼

Exactly what I needed to hear. I feel like this is what I'm struggling with right now.

Interesting - paradox - though I know meditation every day is important to stay with the moment to moment goal 😊

Thank you very much, this is really helpful. Steady, supportive delivery. It gives me a supportive direction I’m feeling gratitude I found your talk.
I’m grateful I found your talk. I thought these 2 sentences meant the same. I was told otherwise!
As a side note - I’d like to know if you hear them the same.

Beautiful thoughts for this morning - right now. Thank you. 😊

I really liked everything about this talk. The length, how poignantly he conveyed his message, and the message itself made me have a few realizations. I found myself nodding in agreement and understanding.

Outstanding explanation for a mindset I've adopted quite some time ago. THANK YOU for your precise and logical breakdown on this often debated subject. I'm finally able to more clearly explain to friends my oftentimes misunderstood point of view regarding self-help & personal improvement. ♾️