Hello,
My name is Lucy Chan and I'm going to lead you through a self-compassion break based on the work of Kirsten Neff and Chris Germer.
It will be led as a meditation but this practice can be used at any time in your daily life whenever you are feeling under stress or you notice that you're struggling in some way.
However,
For this practice today,
I need you to think of a situation in your life,
A situation that's causing you some stress or discomfort and I ask you to choose a situation that is mild to moderate in severity,
Maybe of three or four on a scale of one to ten.
Perhaps it's an issue at work,
A health problem,
A relationship,
Maybe it's a friend who is struggling at the moment.
Before we begin taking a few moments to choose a situation that feels alive for you right now.
To begin finding a comfortable position,
Whether that's sitting or lying down and allowing your eyes to close,
Bringing presence into the body,
Noticing the points of contact with the body in the ground.
Then perhaps taking in a few deep fuller breaths,
Maybe having a sense of settling with each out-breath.
And when you're ready,
Beginning to think of this situation in your life.
This situation right now that you're finding quite difficult or that's causing you some discomfort.
And beginning to feel into the situation,
Perhaps thinking of who was involved,
Maybe certain places,
Maybe what was said.
Taking a little time now to bring this situation to life in your mind's eye.
And whilst you are recalling this issue,
Really allowing yourself to feel in your body any discomfort that is arising.
This practice has three parts.
For the first,
We're bringing a mindful awareness to our felt sense of difficulty.
So sensing any discomfort in the body from recalling this issue.
And we can acknowledge the presence of this,
Maybe by saying to ourselves,
Gosh,
This is a moment of suffering.
Validating what you are feeling and using language that speaks to you.
It could be something like,
I know this isn't easy.
I know this hurts.
This is really tough right now.
Whichever words that validate how you feel.
Turning towards our difficult experience and validating what we are feeling.
The second part of this practice is reminding ourselves that suffering is a part of living.
We're touching into the fact of common humanity.
We can maybe do this by saying to ourselves,
This is how we all feel sometimes.
It's okay to feel this way.
Many people are going through similar situations.
The circumstances may be different.
Each situation has its own flavour.
But as human beings,
We all suffer.
At least from time to time.
Finding language that works for you.
That captures the quality of common humanity and of not being so alone in it.
Could also say,
Others are struggling just like me.
I am not alone.
I am not alone in this experience.
And if this situation has begun to slip your mind,
Simply taking a few moments again to recollect it.
Perhaps thinking of certain people involved,
Certain places,
Words that may have been said.
Perhaps it's a worry of what might happen.
Once again feeling into the situation and also getting a felt sense of what's happening in the body.
And for the third part of this practice,
We can begin to offer ourselves some self-kindness.
And perhaps to support yourself in doing this,
I invite you to maybe place a hand on your heart or on another part of your body that feels comforting to you.
Perhaps noticing the gentle pressure and warmth of the hand.
The gentle contact with the hand and the body.
Maybe even imagining kindness flowing through the fingers.
And we can begin to offer ourselves some word of kindness.
It could be something like,
May I be kind to myself in this moment?
Or may I learn to be kind to myself?
Or may I allow myself to receive this kindness?
Using any words that speak to you.
And if this feels challenging,
Maybe imagining that dear friend of yours has come to you for support and this dear friend is going through the exact same situation.
And when you see them,
You deeply understand what they're going through.
And you have a few moments together.
A few moments for a heart to heart.
No advice.
Just words of kindness.
Perhaps you would say to that friend,
I'm here for you.
I really care about you.
I know this is difficult.
I know you're trying your best.
But I'm here for you.
And if you can,
Perhaps saying these very same words to yourself.
Seeing if you can allow them to land.
Those are our three parts of the self compassion break.
The first is bringing a mindful awareness to our difficulty.
This is a moment of suffering.
I know this isn't easy.
The second part is reminding ourselves that suffering is a part of living.
It's okay to feel this way.
This is how we all feel sometimes.
I am not alone in this experience.
Others are struggling just like me.
And the third part is self kindness.
May I allow myself to receive kindness in this moment?
I'm here for you.
I know it's difficult.
I care about you very much.
For these last few moments,
Just dropping the practice.
Bringing presence into the body.
Maybe noticing any emotions that are present or sensations.
Allowing yourself to rest just as you are.
Thank you.
