Easing The Pain Of A Loved One

This is a powerful meditation to help ease the suffering of a loved one facing illness, depression, or despair. Through the advanced practice of Tonglen, you will learn to transmute pain into healing energy, offering comfort and support from a centered and resourced place. This practice not only brings peace and compassion to your loved one but also strengthens your own emotional resilience.

Transcript

Hello and welcome.

My name is Lou Redmond and this is a meditation to help ease the suffering of a loved one,

Whether you have someone close to you that is sick,

Unhealthy,

Dying,

Or having some mental issues,

Depression,

Feelings of despair.

I hope this is nourishing,

Offer some nourishment for you to come at this relationship,

This situation,

In a more centered and full way.

And the inspiration for this is personal.

My dad is having some heart condition issues and is going to be needing surgery and it's been difficult for me to hold that,

To hold my own fears and his fears and all the other elements that are coming along with this.

And there's a lot of backstory here and wanting my dad to feel more at ease and peace and someone who's always struggled with depression and just trying to grasp what this is doing to him,

If he's even letting himself feel the fear that I'm feeling for him.

And so the practice that we're going to do today is something that I have tried on and I need to preface this practice because it can be intense if you're not ready for it.

We are going to be doing a tong len practice.

And in tong len,

What we do is we breathe in,

We take the pain away from others.

We actually move it into our bodies.

We transmute it with our energy and we send out healing.

We send out lightness.

And if you are not in a great state or resourced yourself,

Do not do this practice.

This practice is for you if you're feeling resourced in your own self,

Because if you're not feeling it,

If you're feeling like you're also in a lot of pain,

It might be a lot to take on someone else's pain and then work to transmute it in your being.

And so I just want to preface that because tong len is a more advanced practice and it should only be undertaken if you are feeling resourced.

All right,

Enough introduction.

Let us drop into this practice.

And so going ahead and closing your eyes if you haven't yet and letting your body settle,

Feeling the connecting points of your sitz bones on your chair,

Your cushion,

Or if you're laying down,

Feeling your body relaxed,

Released into the earth,

Letting your body get heavy as it roots and finds its center.

And to practice finding your center,

You might sway from side to side and front to back.

And notice where that center point is.

Feeling a alert posture in your upper body.

Meditation is a relaxed wakefulness.

And softening the muscles around the eyelids,

Relaxing the lower back,

And softening the muscles around the eyelids,

Relaxing the lower jaw from the upper jaw,

Relaxing the shoulders,

And starting to invite the awareness into the cadence of your breath.

And as you breathe in,

Feeling this gentle expansion.

And with each breath out,

A relaxation.

And as your breath continues to soften,

And as you start to arrive and relax into this moment,

See if you can come to your center,

To find your center and be from it,

And to actually practice from this space.

Not separate,

Not looking at it,

But from your center.

You might feel that center in your core.

You might feel it as the spinal column,

The central channel,

Like a pole that you are coming from.

You're not moving to it,

You are being from it.

And so often,

When we're navigating relationships in any capacity,

But especially when loved ones are suffering or dealing with difficult experiences,

Having someone in their life that is centered,

That can find their center and engage in a resourceful way,

Can be so impactful.

And it's not always easy.

And that's why this is a practice for you to find that,

And if nothing else,

For you to be able to engage with this loved one from your center,

To be a support structure for them in this time when they really need it,

When others maybe aren't that.

So breathing into your center.

And we're going to begin this tonglen practice,

Not by focusing yet on this person,

But just by getting the general sense of the practice and the energy that we're working with.

And so as you breathe in,

You're going to imagine that you're breathing in feelings of heat,

Darkness,

Heaviness.

And as you breathe out,

You're going to breathe out feelings of coolness,

Brightness,

Lightness.

And seeing if you can find center in that,

Seeing if that's not too overwhelming.

Again,

This is a challenging practice.

And so breathing in heat,

Darkness,

Heaviness.

Breathing out coolness,

Brightness,

Lightness.

And doing that for a few more moments,

Really transmuting that when it comes in before it goes out.

You being centered and present have so much power to hold and to transmute.

And let's take one more breath together,

Just clearing our mind and our body.

And as we breathe in,

Transmute.

And let's take one more breath together,

Just clearing that out.

Moving now and bringing to mind the person that you love or care for that is suffering right now.

Holding them in your awareness.

And sensing whatever comes up in your body,

Maybe some emotions,

Maybe some sadness or fear,

Maybe just empathy,

Compassion.

Staying in your center as you hold them in your awareness,

As you see their pain and their suffering.

And just allowing whatever arises to arise.

Again,

Being with this person from your center.

And then working with this practice,

Inviting you to breathe in their darkness.

And breathing back out to them,

Light.

Breathe in their despair.

And breathe out hope.

Breathing in their doubt.

Their doubt.

Breathing out faith.

Breathing in their fear.

And breathing out strength.

Breathing in their pain.

And breathing out love.

Breathing in their suffering.

And breathing out healing.

And so maybe one of those resonates more with you.

Darkness,

Light,

Despair,

Hope,

Doubt,

Faith,

Fear.

Darkness,

Light,

Despair,

Hope,

Doubt,

Faith,

Fear,

Strength,

Pain,

Love,

Suffering,

Healing.

And so I invite you to choose one of those,

Or a few,

And do this practice on your own for a minute or so.

Taking in their suffering,

Sending out healing in whatever form that takes for them.

Stay in your center.

Taking in their pain,

Transmuting it,

Sending out that light,

That love,

That healing.

And then we're going to open this up even more.

And not only are you taking in this pain from your loved one,

But hold in mind all people everywhere,

Or all beings everywhere,

That might be sharing that same suffering that your loved one is.

And all those going through that same condition or issue,

That we are not alone,

That there's so much,

So much suffering happening.

And it's sad,

And it also is connecting.

It connects us to the human experience.

And so taking in all of those people who are sharing the suffering of your loved one,

Breathing in their pain,

And breathing out love.

Breathing in their suffering,

And breathing out healing.

And stay here for a few more moments on your own.

And then letting that go,

Letting the awareness around your loved one,

Or the pain of the world,

Letting that all go.

I invite you to take a cleansing breath in,

And even open mouth,

Breath out,

Feel that air just kind of clearing that clearing all that you've been holding.

Not to say that we're pushing it away,

But just offering this kind of cleansing to yourself.

Invitation to even if you'd like to gently kind of rub your chest or your shoulders,

And we're just kind of just brushing.

I know that could be intense energy coming through,

Just kind of giving some self-care,

Brushing your arms,

Maybe your legs.

Just inviting kind of a note to your body that you're shifting back to just being and holding yourself,

Not having to hold and transform the world.

Just offering a inner note of gratitude or honor to yourself for being willing to stay in your center,

To hold this pain,

And to transmute it and send out healing.

It's such a beautiful,

Beautiful practice.

Beautiful practice.

And I am in appreciation of you for sitting with it and doing this work.

And so just taking a few more moments to just let that all settle.

Doing whatever you need to start to come back until you eventually feel ready.

No rush.

You can stay here as long as you need.

You lie down for a little bit,

Stretch,

Do what you need.

But whenever you're ready,

You can open your eyes gently,

Coming back to your room,

Maybe just taking a look at two things that you can see in your room to help you reorient.

Thank you for practicing and doing this work.

I'm sending so much love and blessings and healing to you and to your loved one for whatever they are going through.

Hope to practice with you again sometime soon.

Namaste.

Reviews

Thank you, Lou for enabling me to feel empowered And at peace in the midst of hopelessness and chaos

I had unconsciously practiced this before. I need to hone this approach now to help my partner.

This is a sacred practice. Thank you for teaching

Sharing in your struggle to help you dad, my dad has congestive heart failure and is suffering with losing his independence, I needed this ana appreciate you greatly.

I LOVED THIS EXPERIENCE! You just showed me another "color" that I can use on my art of being an Anesthesiologist! Thank you so much!