Hello and welcome to day 23 of my 30-day experiment of living from a place of love rather than fear.
My name's Liz Scott.
Every day for 30 days,
When I find myself getting lost in unsettled thoughts and feelings and thinking,
I bring my awareness back to love and then I explore what the day shows me and what lessons I learn when I intentionally live from a place of love rather than fear.
This is day 23.
And one of the things I've seen today,
And it's surprised me actually,
But one of the things I've really seen is that this experiment,
However well I'm doing it,
Is highlighting some of the regular habitual thought patterns,
Limiting beliefs that come up for me so often in my life.
Today I saw how I judge myself.
Just to give you a little bit of context,
We went off in our camper van today and there was so much to do,
So many things to pack,
I completely forgot about the experiment until the end of the day when I went to write up my journal.
I'd just been so distracted with all the things that needed to be done.
When I came to write my journal,
I judged myself.
I thought that I was not doing this experiment very well,
I wasn't remembering to bring my awareness back to love and I started to contemplate whether actually maybe I needed to start the whole experiment from scratch because I just wasn't doing it right.
And then I had an insight from a space of awareness and love as I brought my awareness back to love,
An insight emerged and I saw that what I was doing is I was judging myself.
And actually what I was doing in the moment where I was judging myself was the very thing that I was being shown,
The lesson I was being shown today.
I was being shown how often I judge myself that I'm not doing something well enough and in this instance I was going to start the whole thing again rather than realise the lesson was in the judgment.
So today as I live from love rather than fear and in all fairness it's only been right at the end of the day when I remembered to come to this place of love,
I realise it's showing me every day something so important for me to learn.
I have the capacity and habitually this is what I do is I start to judge myself that I'm not good enough,
I'm not doing something right and that is in the context of this experiment that unsettled thought and feeling is just an illustration of the presence of fear.
That's what fear feels like and when I realise it and notice it,
Bring my awareness back to love,
That's when insights emerge.
And as I was writing my journal something else occurred to me which was here I was during the day muddling along,
Not doing things very well when it came to the experiment because I forgot I was doing the experiment and then I realised that actually this was a really good metaphor and illustration for how I live my life in so much as I do my best to come from a place of compassion and love and gratitude and as a human being I keep tripping up,
Falling over and having to pick myself up but rather than start again which is often what I do is like I'm doing this so bad I need to start again.
What I saw today is I can just pick myself up and start from this point,
From the point I tripped over and that is another great lesson.
Not only am I judging myself and falling into habitual thoughts and feelings but actually what I'm seeing as well is that rather than tell myself I need to start the whole thing again because I'm not doing it right,
I can pick up from where things went a bit off course.
I don't have to start again.
So this has been a really great lesson for me today and I love this because even when I don't feel like I'm doing the experiment right I'm actually learning so much.
I hope you're learning something from this too.
So let me just recap again.
So what have I learnt today?
Firstly I've learnt that I have the propensity to judge myself and to see that I'm not doing things well enough,
Good enough,
I'm not good enough.
That's a habitual belief.
I've seen that as a consequence of believing that belief I often start something from the beginning again and actually what I've seen is that rather than start things from the beginning again it makes much more sense just to pick myself up from where I went astray and start again from this point which is exactly what I'm doing today.
Let me know how you're getting on with this experiment.
You might just be joining me for the day or you might be on the 30 day experiment.
Either way let me know how you're getting on as you live from a place of love rather than fear and remember there isn't a right or wrong way to do this.
It's about what you're learning each and every day.
