Reprogramming the Faulty Perception of the Self

Created to help you heal faulty perceptions of the divine Self. Living an authentic life must begin with creating an authentic relationship with the self.

Transcript

Namaste,

Dear ones.

My name is Lisa A.

Romano and I am the Breakthrough Life Coach and Mentor and creator of the 12-Week Breakthrough Coaching Program that helps you banish the subconscious programming that is keeping you stuck and repeating patterns from your past,

Repeating codependent patterns from your past,

Repeating patterns from your past that were downloaded into you when you were a highly impressionable young dear one who was powerless to your environment,

Who like any other cell in the body was being affected by what was happening in their outer experience.

We know that what happens outside of a cell in our bodies influences what happens inside the cell of our bodies.

And when we travel long enough on the path to enlightenment,

What we eventually discover is that there is no idea of separation.

Separation doesn't exist.

So what happens in one part of the body happens to the entire body.

What happens on a cellular level happens on a mass consciousness level as well.

And I know it sounds hokey pokey and you know most people are very wounded and are unaware that they are unaware.

And so when they look out,

Excuse me,

Into their environment,

They're fixated on what they see immediately in front of them.

And very often times what is right there in front of us is very dramatic,

Very traumatic,

Very troubling.

And most of us are just trying to survive.

You know some of us are experiencing narcissistic abuse on a daily basis.

Some of us are married to alcoholics who are in complete denial,

Who have used all sorts of backwards rationalizations and backwards justifications to rationalize why they drink and why they do what they do.

And we end up feeling crazy.

Or we are married to someone perhaps or involved with someone who lies,

Who does unethical things or who breaks the vows and the covenants that we have between them and then comes up again with some backwards rationalization and justification to justify their actions and in the process because we care about these people.

And many of us are codependent to the degree that we care more about maintaining the status of the relationship than we do about how we feel inside the dynamics of the relationship.

And that's how we lose ourselves.

Our focus is not on how we feel and that's not our fault.

Hear me dear ones,

If you have been raised to feel invisible then you have not been taught that you have a self.

It is impossible to have self esteem if the people who raised you,

Whose job,

Obligation and responsibility it was to infuse you with a sense of self.

How?

By loving you,

By nurturing you,

By putting your needs above their own needs,

By being raised by people who routinely ask you,

What do you think dear one?

How do you feel?

Where would you like to go today?

What happened in school today?

If parents are not inquisitive about their child's day then what happens is a child doesn't know how to check in with the self.

As it is above so shall it be below.

What happens outside of a cell happens inside of a cell.

What happens in a child's environment becomes a pattern,

A blueprint or a template for how the child relates to the self inside their own skin,

Inside the walls of their own psyche.

If you do not have the experience of people asking you how you feel,

Dear one,

You do not have the data to ask yourself how you feel.

It is like a piece of the puzzle is missing.

You just don't know that you should be waking up every day and asking yourself,

How do I feel?

How do I feel about this?

How do I feel about that?

How do I feel about my relationship?

How do I feel about the way he or she speaks to me?

Last night my husband and I,

We had our date night which is very important for couples.

You have to spend time away from the kids,

Away from the job,

Away from the house,

Away from other members of the family,

Even away from your friends.

If you are in a relationship that you wish to nurture,

You must spend time alone with your partner,

In communion with your partner.

Even though my husband and I were very tired and we are both entrepreneurs and work for ourselves and are super,

Super responsible people,

We make sure that no matter how tired we are,

We spend time alone.

We have this little spot that we go to and we were sitting next to a very young couple last night.

I mean these kids couldn't have been more than 23 years old.

What I noticed immediately was the girl,

It was a girl and a boy,

Or a young woman and a young man,

And the young woman had her cell phone out.

The boy or the young man didn't.

He had his hands folded,

He was leaning towards this young woman which body language explains that he's looking to connect,

He's looking to talk to her,

And she was busy with her cell phone.

She did not utter a word.

My husband looked at me like,

What's up with that?

I said,

I just gave him the look like I don't know because our tables were literally,

If they were 48 inches apart,

That was a lot.

I didn't want to be obvious,

But it was a long time before this girl put her cell phone down.

I mean at one point she picked up the cell phone and had both her elbows on the table.

The cell phone was directly in front of her eyes as she was scrolling up and scrolling left and scrolling right,

And this boy was sitting there completely ignored by her.

It was only when she poured a second glass of wine that she did begin to finally engage with him.

Then some food was served and she engaged.

But as soon as the food was off the table,

She went right back to her cell phone.

I mean it was palpable,

It was uncomfortable.

I felt so sorry for this young man who looked like,

Just by first glance,

Looks like he takes care of himself,

He took care of the check,

He was completely available for her,

And she just kept shutting him down.

Now the reason I tell you this story is because while I was sitting there,

I was asking myself if this boy knew that he should be asking himself,

How do I feel?

How do I feel right now on this date with this beautiful young woman who can't put her cell phone down?

How do I feel about that?

How do I feel about taking this young woman out,

You know,

Having dinner with her,

And having her,

If they sat there for an hour,

If she spoke to him for all of five minutes,

That was a long time.

How do I feel about sitting in this place,

In this nice restaurant,

Being ignored by this woman?

How do I feel about her picking up the cell phone and texting and posting to Facebook and Instagram and Twitter while I'm sitting here waiting for her to engage with me?

How do I feel about that?

Now if this kid was raised by people who respected his boundaries and asked him questions and made him feel from the time that he was a young child that his experiences were valid,

That he had a right to use the spirit or the ability to discern his feelings about other people,

Which is different than judging.

I've been saying this for a long time and it's starting to take hold on YouTube,

Which I'm very happy that people are spreading the information,

But there is a much different vibration when you discern versus judging.

So if this kid had been raised by parents who had the ability to objectify other people outside the realm of ego,

Then this kid hopefully would have been able to sit there last night and ask himself how he feels about his experience,

Because he has a right to objectify the quality of that date,

The quality of the attention that this woman gave him or did not give him.

It's so important,

Dear ones,

That we learn to objectify how we feel,

That we learn to step out of our box,

That we understand the big picture,

That we begin to put the pieces of the puzzle that is our perception into full clear focus.

If you were raised by parents who did not spend a lot of time communicating fairly,

Then you avoid of that data.

Your mind has no picture,

Subconscious picture,

Of what to expect in a healthy relationship,

And that's why mentoring is so important,

And that's why spending time with healthy couples is so important,

Because the subconscious mind is basically a computer program.

It is like the Wizard of Oz.

It's like the Wizard behind the screen or the curtain in the Wizard of Oz that is pumping information and data into his big reality machine,

And the subconscious mind can only play with the images and the experiences that are in the shed.

If your reality has been void of healthy communication,

If your reality has been void of people checking in with you,

Then you don't know that you deserve healthy communication,

You don't know what healthy communication looks like,

And you don't know you have a right to check in with the self.

You don't know that,

And that's not your fault.

So what we do here,

And what I plan on doing,

And what I believe I'm doing collectively through my blog talk radio show,

Through these podcasts here on YouTube,

Through my coaching programs,

Through my webinars,

Through my YouTube community,

Through my Facebook community,

Through Instagram,

Through Tumblr,

Through Google Plus,

My articles,

My blog,

Through all these avenues,

I do what I can to try to awaken the sleeper within all of us.

It's very important that those of you listening understand that we are all sleepers before we awake.

Even the Bible says,

When men are born,

A great sleep falls upon him.

That is scientifically true.

Newborns are in a dream state,

A sleep state,

That's why they sleep so much.

So when we understand that as we grow up,

We have to come through varying brainwave states,

And depending on what brainwave state we were in when we were experiencing our environment,

Very much affects the data or the blueprint that has been created,

Which is the subconscious mind.

Now the other point that I want to make to all you brilliant listeners out there who are so excited about waking up and are so excited about being lightworkers perhaps,

Which is essentially a lightworker,

Some people think it's a woo woo term,

Not really,

Not really.

We are all light at our core,

And when you think about an aha moment,

We liken it to a light bulb moment,

Which is a light,

Represents a light.

When we think about enlightenment,

Again we hear the word light in that word,

Enlightenment,

And we think about people who feel a particular calling to spread information,

To spread awareness.

So this is just someone like myself and many of you who,

When they hear something,

And it makes sense to them,

They honor what they hear,

And they wish to share that information out of love for humanity.

This is the way we change the world,

Dear ones,

Little by little,

One awareness at a time,

One YouTube video,

One podcast,

One article at a time.

Especially when you awaken,

You create the possibility for many to awaken right where you are.

It's just fabulous.

And even though I'm stationed in New York,

This podcast will reach people in India who wish to start spreading awareness about codependency,

Or Scotland,

Or Iceland,

Or Denmark,

Or Australia,

Or South Africa,

Which is just so awesome.

The more we understand that who we are as adults is a direct reflection of what we've experienced in childhood,

Very important,

We have to appreciate that.

And so getting back to the self,

We have to understand that it's not our fault that we suffer with self alienation,

Not our fault.

If your parents were self alienated,

Meaning they were not living through the authentic self,

They were living below the veil of consciousness,

Acting out their childhood patterns,

Then they're asleep.

And a sleeper cannot awaken a sleeper,

Not really.

The sleeper must awaken for themselves,

And very often time sleepers awaken when someone comes along and throws a bucket of ice over their head.

Meaning when we have experienced enough pain in our lives,

And we just feel like there's just nowhere else to go but within,

It's sort of like the ice being thrown over us while we're sleeping.

It wakes us up.

So pain wakes us up.

I believe that as man evolves his consciousness and her consciousness,

When I say his,

I mean it's a universal term as far as the way I use it,

As man evolves consciously,

Eventually human beings won't need pain to evolve.

They'll understand that rather than avoiding pain,

They can actually seek pleasure.

And it's so important,

Dear one,

That you understand that what you experienced in your outer world when you were a child,

You were powerless to.

And those mental images,

Those constructs that you experienced in your outer environment,

Became like pictures that were impressed in your conscious mind.

The conscious mind had a feeling associated with that experience,

And the feeling is what got impregnated in the subconscious mind.

And that feeling has helped arrange a pattern and a template within your subconscious mind that has been,

That is responsible for what you're experiencing as an adult today.

So if you felt unseen as a child,

Psychologically invisible,

Then you do not have the data to feel seen,

So you don't see yourself.

Now unless you become aware of that in your outer experience today,

Which this podcast has the ability to do,

Because you can still experience something from the outside and have a conscious impression of what you experience from the outside and experience a feeling,

Even during this podcast,

Even though you're not in my office,

Even though you're not in one of my coaching programs,

Even though you may not be in my support group on Facebook,

It doesn't matter.

If this message reaches you,

It resonates with you,

You get goosebumps,

You get the chills,

You start to shake,

Perhaps you start to cry.

That's a good thing,

Because there's reprogramming happening.

Something has happened outside of you in your environment,

Which now has the ability to affect you on the inside of you.

Remember,

Things that happen outside of the cell affect what happens inside of the cell.

So you're listening to this podcast and you are searching for information,

Maybe you're a truth seeker,

And so you have now harnessed the power and the free will that you have,

Although you probably don't realize it,

And I hope that this podcast is helping you realize the steps that you have taken right now to undo what has been done in the past.

You are now harnessing the power and the free will that you have to control your environment.

You are now taking control over what you are exposing your conscious field to.

And by doing that,

You are affecting the subconscious realm.

How fabulous is that,

Dear ones?

How fabulous is that?

So that means if you never give up and you keep controlling the data that gets inputted into your conscious field from the environment,

Your subconscious mind must shift.

And when the subconscious mind shifts and all paradigms are dismantled and new belief systems are created,

That is when the matrix that we call reality begins to morph and match your new vibrations.

Most people give up before they actually see the shift take place.

But if you hold steadfast to this information,

I promise you,

I give you my word,

Your reality must shift.

It can be no other way.

You must begin taking control of the information that you download into your subconscious mind through your conscious field of free will.

You must do that.

You must override the old patterns of behavior.

You must be self-objective.

You must be self-disciplined.

You must be self-aware.

You must be willing.

You must be tenacious.

You must be a warrior.

Now inevitably,

When you start doing well and start doing better,

People will either begin making fun of you,

Tearing you down,

Or they begin to copy you.

They try to do what you're doing.

And sometimes it's uncomfortable.

Let's say you are beginning to take care of yourself and you start writing a book and you start making YouTube videos and you start posting new posts to Instagram and someone that you know begins doing the same thing,

Copying what you're doing.

That could be uncomfortable.

I've had that experience in my own life.

The goal,

Dear ones,

Is to go non-resistant.

Follow your intention.

Be true to yourself.

Be true to your own message.

No one can be you.

No one.

They can try to copy you.

They can try to tear you down.

But whatever your particular message is for the world or for yourself,

Honor it.

Honor it.

And if other people want to dilute their message by trying to copy your message or wear you down by trying to water you down,

Focus on yourself.

Focus on your agenda.

Focus on your agenda.

It's very uncomfortable when we become aware of others who are doing things that we wish they would not do.

The goal is to keep your focus on the self and not on the others.

Karma is the only judge and the only jury we need on this planet.

Karma is the only judge and the only jury we need on this planet.

We don't need to be vengeful.

We don't need to act out.

We don't need to react.

On this journey,

Your job is to continually ask the self,

How do I feel?

How do I feel?

Especially if you were born to people who did not routinely ask you about your day,

About your pain,

About your feelings,

About your goals.

If you were born to people who infused you with the sense that life is meant to be tolerated,

You have to challenge that belief.

That is not the truth.

But as a man thinks,

So is he.

If you tell me what someone thinks,

If you tell me what someone believes,

I can tell you what their life will look like.

I can even tell you how their life might end.

Because a belief is a blueprint.

And a belief is just a belief because you've accepted it to be true.

Because the people in your environment have taught you that that is true.

And you believe it's true because in your unawareness,

You have been following a blueprint that you were unaware of,

And the blueprint has been netting you a particular result.

And human beings who are asleep are fixated on the outside.

They're looking for evidence on the outside.

And they don't understand that what is manifested is already in the past,

Because it was created in the past,

A while ago in the subconscious mind.

So what most people see as their present is really the past.

It's really the past.

You have attracted this podcast into your experience because you have yearned for this information.

You have been seeking this information.

That didn't happen right here,

Right now.

This podcast is a manifestation of thoughts and feelings that you have experienced sometime in the past.

So right now,

Even though what we call the present,

From the vantage point of ego,

We think is our present,

No it's not.

No it's not.

It's our past.

It's our past.

That is why it is so true that all our power is always in this present moment,

This moment.

Because it is in this moment you must learn to take hold of your consciousness and create a new mental construct of what you want to experience in the future.

And if you do that long enough,

If you are steadfast to that idea,

And these are the ideas I teach in my master class,

Which will hopefully be released soon,

I want to teach people how to become the master of their own reality.

I want to teach people how to hold on to the vibration of love,

Even though chaos surrounds them.

I want to teach people how to go non-resistant so that they can manifest under any and all external circumstances.

I want to teach people that for a lot of reasons,

Primarily because it brings more love and light to the planet.

It brings more happiness,

More peace and abundance to the planet.

It makes the world a better place for my children,

My grandchildren,

And children that I will never know who will visit this planet because of the seed that I am,

And the seed that I have been.

And that makes me excited to think that you have the potential to shift personally and bring love and light to your children,

Or to your nieces,

Or to your nephews,

Or to your congregation,

Or to your office,

Or to your career,

To your industry,

To think that you have the potential to bring more love and more light and more balance to this planet is exciting.

It's really exciting.

We have to understand that our connections to the Self have been disrupted.

And if we do not feel connected to the Self or to the light within,

That is not our fault.

We have to understand that there is a process of re-engagement.

There is a process of reconnection.

There is a process of integration.

We can become integrated.

But just like any other project that you would tackle in the house,

You know,

For instance,

If you had a hole in your wall that led to the outside,

You would have to first find the hole,

See the hole,

Before you could fix the hole.

So many of us have been dying slow spiritual deaths,

Unaware that we were unaware.

Unaware that no matter who we followed,

No matter how many books we bought,

No matter how many workshops we went to,

How much money we spent on gurus and spiritual teachers and whatever,

Events and alike,

None of them and none of that could have helped us heal the hole within us.

Healing does not take place entirely in the conscious realm.

Healing must take place on the subconscious realm.

And so often we miss that.

And the subconscious realm has everything to do with what happened to us when we were children and we were impressionable.

And the data that would become the template for our life was being downloaded beyond our free will when we were powerless and children.

Dear ones,

I hope this podcast has inspired you,

Lifted you up,

Brought you peace.

I hope this podcast has helped you see the self a little bit more clearly.

I hope this podcast has inspired you to keep looking and to stay on path.

Please feel free to follow me on Twitter and Instagram and on Facebook.

My next coaching class will launch June 1st.

You can actually get in on that now by visiting www.

Lisaarimano.

Com.

I'll be hosting a live event February 25th in Long Island,

New York.

And if you go to my website and click on blog,

You will find information there.

I am the author of The Road Back to Me,

My Road Beyond the Codependent Divorce,

Loving the Self Affirmations 1 and 2,

Quantum Tools to Help You Heal Your Life Now,

And Codependent Now What?

It's not you,

It's your programming.

Namaste,

Dear ones.

And remember over and over and over,

I am enough.

Say it to yourself,

I am enough.

I am enough.

Dear ones,

You are enough.

Namaste.

Reviews

This was flipping awesome. I will listen again, probably today. You are changing worlds here Dear One, my sincerest thanks to you.

As if I was waiting to hear this now much needed thanks

This was extremely insightful and encouraging. I cannot wait to delve deeper into your courses. Thank you so much! 🙏

My finding your support I believe was truly meant to be. I identify with just so much that you speak about! When you mentioned "others that may copy you"...I thought Wow,it's a problem at the moment and a major dislike of mine that I will be working hard on.
Much love and gratitude 🙏

Brilliant. Wish I'd discovered this stuff decades ago!

So good! Loved this so much and helped me on so many levels to understand my brain 🧠 programming. I have been awakened but learned in this how easy it can be to jump out of that. This inspired to to remain the course!

Fantastic assurance that we are enough. Thank you.

Loved it! Great message. So reassuring and optimistic.

Really one of the best Advaita Vedanta lectures I have heard. Awareness of the SELF in plain English. Beautifully narrated. Cogent and coherent. I will listen to this lecture multiple times. Though I intellectually know who I am, I am never awake or aware of who I am. Ignorance often veils who I am. Thank you & blessings

Everyone who had guardians or parents should hear this.

Your talk fits in perfectly to what is happening with me in my journey right now. I related so very much when you remarked on being a truth seeker. I have been using my time, this year especially, to learn more about myself & it's been enlightening. I am so very excited in my research & have been including healthy mind & body habits. Thank you so much for sharing this talk.🙏💕

I'm currently realizing how vast my hole is. I don't know whether to call it a vast hole, or an overwhelming amount of individual holes. Let's go with vast, because my "individual" holes tunnel together. Anyway, so many painful events have happened over the past 20 yrs. They were all overwhelming, until the event of all events Winter 2018. I know people are hating 2020, right now, want a do over. End of 2018 and all of 2019 was about all I could handle, I'm still positive about 2020. The pandemic has forced some deeply needed and forced introspection that my life, my family's life, my teenagers' lives depend on. Everything you said, I've been hearing from my therapist, husband, sister; but you presented it in a way that wrapped up what our family therapist has been working on with me, specifically. Haha, I had to fix that autocorrect, specifically corrected to surviving. Thank YOU, Dear One. 🌈🌻 💗💫

We love you all🙏😇💜🌏 Namaste

I’m hooked on a feeling.❤️

Thank you for helping me see my past more clearly. I knew my early years were lacking some key elements that shaped who I am today and set the course of challenges I face today. You helped me see the correlation more clearly so I can work to find my way to the path that is right for me.

Wow I called your every word into my ears for a reason tonight. I feel blessed and hopeful that I found you.

Always wonderful talks, with much gratitude, thank you 🙏🌈🦋🧘

I found this absolutely excellent to listen to...at 61 I'm some way along this journey you described. Many blessings.
John 🙏🌈🕊🌟