The Hardest Part Of Healing: Saying No To Toxic People

Saying NO is the turning point in recovery from codependency, narcissistic abuse, and childhood trauma. But for adult children of alcoholics and trauma survivors, it can feel terrifying—like you’re choosing rejection or abandonment.

In this episode, we’ll explore why the first boundary is always the hardest, and why it’s also the most powerful step toward freedom.

You’ll discover: Why your brain links “no” with danger and rejection, how childhood programming makes boundaries feel unsafe, why toxic people push back when you finally walk away, and how saying no rewires your brain for self-love and peace.

If guilt, fear, or self-doubt rise up when you try to protect your peace, this episode will remind you: you’re not broken—your brain is coded to expect pain. And with awareness, you can rewrite that code.

Reviews

thank you for touching on this topic of saying no to toxic people and I especially appreciate that you mentioned people that make everything about them .

Strongly resonating. 🙏🏽

This describes my life exactly before going no contact 3 years ago, thanks to my therapist, with my covert, poor me, verbally abusive, narcissist mother, & overt narcissist sister. Making the initial cut from them was so hard, but life now is so peaceful. Thank you, Lisa. This explained so much that I needed to hear.

There were a lot of gems here. One thing that really stood out for me was the explanations of behavior as they relate to obvious vs. more subtle narcissistic behaviors. It made me feel like I had something I could play for friends/family that help establish I’m not some ”hateful, ungrateful son.” After a lot of work I’m secure enough in who I am and my self worth for it to have little impact if they *never* see it. Still, it’s empowering to have an awareness that someone “gets it” and in a certain context is “in your corner.”

I also appreciated that some of Lisa’s details mirror mine and it feels fulfilling to be able to know that I’m not so isolated.

Thank you again for this and all of your work. It really feels quite miraculous in its own way.

Thank you once again 🦋