Embrace And OWN Your Extroversion: A Guide To Thriving

In this talk, I dive into the unique gifts and challenges of being highly extroverted—especially when others might label you as “too much.” Together, we’ll explore the six facets of extroversion—warmth, gregariousness, assertiveness, activity, excitement-seeking, and positive emotions—and uncover what it really means to embody these traits fully. Most importantly, I’ll share how you can embrace your natural energy, shine with confidence, and thrive in a world that sometimes tries to dim your light.

Transcript

Hey,

This is Ish,

And in today's talk,

I'll be going over how to own being an extrovert.

So if you look on YouTube,

There are tons of videos on introversion and some of the challenges that introverts face,

Such as say,

Social anxiety or connecting with others.

But there are also a lot of challenges that extroverts face that isn't really talked about as much.

So in this talk,

I'll basically be going over all these challenges that they'll go through.

And first,

I'll be going over some of the traits of extroversion.

So what makes up extroversion according to the big five personality type test model,

And what happens when you basically take all these traits and crank it up to the max.

So someone who's very extroverted faces some unique challenges that isn't really talked about.

So let's go over what extroversion is.

So extroversion is made up of warmth,

Gregariousness,

Assertiveness,

Activity,

Excitement seeking,

And positive emotions and responding to positive emotions.

So when we go over activity and excitement seeking,

This is where an extrovert can be labeled as quote unquote,

Too much,

Especially early on in life and classroom settings,

For example,

Because they just can't sit still,

They just want to do a lot.

They are seeking the next thrill or excitement.

And this can be a lot.

So oftentimes,

Parents and teachers will tell them to kind of mute down their personality or chill,

Chill out a little bit.

I've definitely gotten that a lot during my life.

And this energy can also be seen as very disruptive to others.

Because you are not really following the rules,

You just want to constantly push the edge.

And I think one workaround or a solution is to simply create a lifestyle,

Which is more stimulating and engaging.

So this can be in hobbies,

The friends that you hang around with places like to go the environments you surround yourself in,

Just because realize that if you try to fit in to more chill and tame environments,

You will feel this internal tension because there is some part of you that simply just wants to do more,

Be more,

To be more active.

And this is rooted in our biology,

Actually,

Because extroverts respond to the dopamine pathways a bit more than introverts that respond more to the acetylcholine pathways,

Which are more calming.

And our threshold for dopamine simply is a lot higher.

So we need more dopamine in our lives and looking to the outside world to get that in order to feel engaged.

So if we don't have enough going on,

And we don't have enough stimulation,

We can feel very restless and lethargic.

And I think if you do have a lot of this energy that just simply needs to be out,

You can utilize this perfectly because you can take all this energy and put into a passion,

For example,

A project and channel it somewhere so it is more healthy.

Because if you have all this energy and don't know where to put it,

And you're seeking excitement,

Well,

You can also get into a lot of trouble.

And that is also one of the downsides,

Is because you can engage in a lot of risky behaviors if you aren't really aware of where you're channeling this.

So your level of conscientiousness also has to do with it.

And again,

Conscientiousness is another facet of the big five personality trait.

So you have openness,

Conscientiousness,

Extroversion,

Agreeableness,

And neuroticism.

So if you have very low conscientiousness,

Which is essentially your control muscles,

Your dutifulness,

Your work ethic,

Your focus on results.

So if you're very low in this,

You will tend to channel extroversion in simply having a very loose and carefree lifestyle,

Kind of like this party mentality.

And you have all this energy which will be channeled there.

So I think one way to work with this energy,

If you're very low in conscientiousness,

Is to simply create a lifestyle that is very social,

And you're meeting a lot of people,

And you'll actually feel very happy when you do this.

So don't go against your nature and pretend that you don't like hanging out with people,

But actually use that to your benefit.

And spend your day actually hanging out with a lot of people,

Interacting with many different groups of people,

Laughing all day,

Which I'll get to in a moment,

Which is tied with gregariousness.

And on the other hand,

If you're very high in conscientiousness,

You can take all this energy and channel it into your work.

And that'll also make you feel very fulfilled.

And generally speaking with your workplace,

You want a workplace that is stimulating enough and dynamic,

Where there are a lot of different things happening.

And you also have this feeling of success and you can celebrate and you're like,

Yes,

And this has to do with that,

Again,

That factor of activity and excitement seeking,

You want to chase those excitements in your job.

Now,

When we look at the next facets of extroversion,

Which are gregariousness,

Warmth,

And positive emotions,

You would actually think that a lot of people would appreciate that,

But not so.

Because when you're very warm,

And you're friendly,

And you just like to spread positive emotions everywhere,

You become a light in the room that can sometimes suck the energy all to you and draw it to you.

You can hear this in the phrase,

This person lights up the room.

And this is simply just due to our natural extroverted style or way of behaving where we capture the attention of the room wherever we go,

Kind of like a light that attracts moths to it.

And the challenge here,

When you're very high in these facets,

And you crank up the dial and all these and gregariousness,

Warmth,

And positive emotions,

Is that other people can actually feel threatened or jealous of this energy.

So people can feel threatened,

Feel like you're taking the spotlight away from them.

And again,

You're not doing this on purpose.

This is just your personality.

And people can also tell you to get serious,

That you're taking life a little bit too lax,

You're too playful.

And in some environments,

Especially some working environments,

This is not really acceptable.

So people will try to push you down or say,

Hey,

You need to tone your personality down.

And of course,

There are a lot of negative people in the world.

A lot of our social media and news outlets skew more to the negative than the positive.

So as a result of this,

Your natural light can be suppressed.

So I think the solution here in the work here is to do some inner work of simply accepting that side of you not trying to operate out of shame or try to suppress it on your own.

But then the second part is also to find people that appreciate this natural light.

And I think when you find this balance of acceptance and finding people that appreciate you,

As opposed to looking outside for people that will validate you,

So more approval seeking,

You will feel very happy and at peace.

Because your energy then instead of going outwards and it's more reaching,

You will tend to find people that appreciate you and you're more of a screener.

And when you find the right people around you,

Then you can feel that you can truly be yourself and everything is okay.

And this is a wonderful quality when you finally get to this place.

And you definitely want to reward people that want to be in your life and accept your over-the-top energy for what it is.

Now,

The next facet of extraversion is assertiveness.

So this is the capacity to take your ideas and push it out in the world.

I think as extroverts,

We just have this natural inclination to want to do that,

Because we look to the outside world,

Right,

Through our senses,

And we want to have all this energy,

We want to just push it out.

And this is a little gray area,

Because I think a lot of people don't like acknowledging this.

But there are some,

This part of extroverts that like to take control of the world.

And I like to push their ideas out.

And to simply be the leader of the group.

I think when this quality of extroversion,

If you're very high in extroversion and assertiveness,

You naturally want to take charge of situations,

To be in control,

To be in the guide.

And I actually don't think this is a bad thing to have this.

Of course,

A lot of people will push it down,

They don't want other people taking the spotlight,

Like I mentioned,

And maybe they want to be the leader themselves unconsciously.

But I think you will know if this is you,

If you tend to be high in assertiveness,

Is think about what you were like when you were a kid.

And were you the natural leader of the group?

I know when I even when I was like five years old,

Teachers would come up to me because I got in trouble a lot.

And I'd rally a group of people and a lot of our classmates and we just we do crazy things and you know,

Run,

Run out of the classroom.

And the teacher would say,

You know,

You have this natural leadership capacity,

Please be responsible about it.

Because I get in trouble all the time,

I get everyone in trouble.

But the challenge here is that when you have this natural assertive style is that you do tend to clash with other authority type figures,

Especially if you're in this type of hierarchy type environment,

Like a workplace,

Where you should defer to a boss.

And this can make it very challenging because your natural energy wants to control the room,

But you have obviously people above you in that workplace or hierarchy,

Whatever it is.

So I think the solution here is to find your own avenues where you can lead others and provide guidance because you have this natural urge to want to be in charge of others and to really see other people thrive.

I think this is a natural skill of extroversion,

Because you are people oriented,

And you want to guide other people to a certain outcome,

Right?

And if you do your own things,

I say teaching on your own,

Like,

So here I have my,

You know,

Various platforms where I teach others or guide others in a certain way,

And form your own group and then lead others.

Well,

This can satiate this natural capacity to want to be a leader in you.

So I think this can work out pretty well.

And I don't think you should fight it and pretend that you don't have this quality when you do.

So I hope you like this talk on extroversion and some of the challenges that extroverts face,

Just due to some of their traits being cranked up pretty high,

You know,

Because when you take these traits of warmth,

Gregariousness,

Assertiveness,

Activity,

Excitement,

Seeking positive emotions,

And just crank them all the way up,

Well,

This could be a lot for,

You know,

Other people.

But if you learn to navigate that and find the people that really reward and like this type of energy,

Well,

Your experience of life completely changes.

And,

You know,

You are the light in this world.

So simply just be who you are and find the people that love you for you.

So thank you again for watching this.