This talk is about low self-esteem.
Low self-esteem is normally having a generally negative overall opinion of oneself,
Judging or evaluating oneself negatively as a person.
So,
Normally low self-esteem is a common problem and can occur as part of depression or chronic illness or relationship problems.
Or it can be a problem in itself.
So,
Self-esteem is normally when people believe their negative beliefs about themselves and the kind of a person they are.
These beliefs are taken as facts or truths about their identity.
Rather than being recognized,
There is just an opinion that they hold about themselves.
The good news is that low self-esteem can be moved into a healthy esteem.
And there are different ways of doing that.
So,
I would like to share with you different tips of how to deal with low self-esteem and build up a healthy esteem.
So,
Firstly I'd like you to get a pen and a paper and write a few questions down so you can answer them at your own time.
That can help you to kind of see a little bit of insight into low self-esteem.
So,
The first question I'd like you to write down is,
What do I like about myself,
However small or fleeting?
So,
That's the first question.
What do I like about myself,
However small or fleeting?
So,
The second question,
How would you describe yourself to someone else?
As a friend,
As an employee,
As a girlfriend or as a boyfriend,
As a mother?
So,
How would you describe yourself?
Third question,
What positive qualities do you possess?
Question four,
What have you achieved in your life,
However small?
Question five,
What challenges have you faced?
What anxieties have you tried to overcome?
And what does that say about you?
Okay,
I'm going to repeat these questions.
Which challenges have you faced?
What anxieties have you tried to overcome?
What does that say about you?
Question six,
What do people like or value in you?
Question seven,
What bad things you are not?
What bad things you are not?
Next question,
What small positives you are discounting?
What small positives you are discounting?
Okay,
So I suggest that you go through those questions and start identifying,
Finding out the answers to those questions.
So,
To build the self-esteem,
It's important that you focus on the positives,
On the positive qualities that you have.
So,
I want to give you a metaphor.
Let's imagine your friend has this parrot sitting on their shoulder and every day this parrot is saying to them,
You're rubbish,
You're no good,
You are failure,
You are not likeable,
You are unlovable,
You have no friends.
And every day your friend goes around and listens to this parrot.
How do you think your friend is going to feel?
Do you think their self-esteem is going to be really good?
It's very likely that the self-esteem will be low because they listen to the parrot.
The parrot is the critical voice.
They listen to it,
They believe it.
It might be that in the childhood,
In your upbringing,
You've been told these things,
But this is not who you are.
So,
If we relate that to you,
You are not those things.
It is the learned view.
You have learned to see yourself this way.
You have to recognize this,
Understand that and understand that change is possible.
And the way you can do that is focusing on the positives you have and building on the positives,
On your positive qualities,
Recognizing them every day.
So,
Another exercise I want you to do is a couple of exercises.
Firstly,
The first exercise that I'd like to suggest is a positive data log.
So,
You can actually write down the positives that you do in your day,
Every day and recognizing those positives and reading it out yourself.
The way to challenge the critical voice is one of the ways is to use compassion.
That's the second tip that you can use.
Use compassion,
Respond with compassionate response,
Emphasizing things such as,
I'm a fallible human being,
But I love and accept of myself anyway.
So,
I have an exercise for you.
If you've got a pen and a paper,
What I'd like you to do is I'd like you to write down 10 positive qualities about yourself.
So,
Write down three examples of these positive qualities in action in the past week.
And the next thing,
What would you need to do to notice these qualities on a regular basis?
Really think about it and be specific.
What would you need to do to notice these qualities on a regular basis?
It's very important that you deal with that critical voice and for each criticism,
You develop an assertive response.
And enhance that self-acceptance,
The realistic self-appraisal.
So,
Develop a balanced view and include your strengths,
Your assets,
Your qualities,
But at the same time,
Be realistic.
So,
This is how to build some tips on how to build your healthy self-esteem.
And I hope this is helpful.
I hope you can use some of these exercises.
And I hope you practice self-compassion and kindness and acceptance and start recognizing your positive qualities.
